I need help...I'm tired of avoiding the subject...long story condensed...It used to be alcohol but that was interfering with my new job which requires a new level of responsibility that I've never been used to...so I had to quit missing work...so then it became oxycontin, just one 40 mg a day...It allowed me to go to work, to have energy and to enjoy being there...that's why I love it and take it...because it makes me the optimist I've never been....it's not really the high, but when I take it, the future seems truly open and limitless...I just turned 30, just broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years...I hate my life now...It's not horrible, but I just feel this ennui that I can't get rid of...I feel alone, unwanted, and scared...but most of all, I feel weak....I feel weak because I have to take this s***...I hate myself like I've never hated myself....and I've always hated myself on some level...so now I'm up to 2-3 40 mgs a day...How long has this been going on...I don't know..back in the summer, it was only 1 a day...I work with extremely mentally handicapped children and for a while I rationalized that I needed the pill to make me a better teacher, to give me energy and help me have the patience, get through the day, but I can't do it anymore...I need help...but I have to do it on my own with help from others...No one can find out about this...I have to fix this myself...I can't hurt those I love...My question is this....is it too late? I'm taking 3 40 milligram tablets a day, chewed up...Have I already screwed my body up so bad that I'll suffer from this? I'm completely open-minded and will listen to anything you all have to say....I want your guidance and support and love....thanks for your time
Wade
Hi I'm mollyjean,Youve taken the first step and that is comming here This is a Great support place.I don't know much about what your taking except that it is very potent.Can you go to your Dr and have him/her help you taper off.You already know you are messing up your body,but you are reaching for help and thats important.Is there anyway you can wean down on your own until your totally off it...mj
Wade,
Wow, you have one wonderful job! You must be a great person, because that would be so challenging, yet rewarding. You have fallen into the trap of addiction. That pill does make you feel superhuman for a while, then it makes you realize that you have a bigger problem. I would suggest talking to your doctor about this. See if he can help you. The doctors have so much available to help you get through this, and to make you as comfy as possible. You could also look into a detox program. They can be invaluable as well. You can try cold turkey, but with Oxy, I personally would not do it, actually I tried.
There are addictionologists out there as well. They are wonderful, and all they do is work with people suffering with addiction. There are so many different ways to get yourself into recovery. Actually there is a page right here on this board that gives some ideas. I would also recommend that you look into meetings, AA/NA/PA/MA. They are all over, and they are a huge help to those of us who suffer with the disease of addiction.
Whatever you decide, you are right, those pills need to go. They are sucking the life out of you. You will be a wonderful teacher without those pills, I just know it! I will pray for you.
God Bless
Lady M
Wow, you have one wonderful job! You must be a great person, because that would be so challenging, yet rewarding. You have fallen into the trap of addiction. That pill does make you feel superhuman for a while, then it makes you realize that you have a bigger problem. I would suggest talking to your doctor about this. See if he can help you. The doctors have so much available to help you get through this, and to make you as comfy as possible. You could also look into a detox program. They can be invaluable as well. You can try cold turkey, but with Oxy, I personally would not do it, actually I tried.
There are addictionologists out there as well. They are wonderful, and all they do is work with people suffering with addiction. There are so many different ways to get yourself into recovery. Actually there is a page right here on this board that gives some ideas. I would also recommend that you look into meetings, AA/NA/PA/MA. They are all over, and they are a huge help to those of us who suffer with the disease of addiction.
Whatever you decide, you are right, those pills need to go. They are sucking the life out of you. You will be a wonderful teacher without those pills, I just know it! I will pray for you.
God Bless
Lady M
Hey Wade,
This is a great place to be.....you will get lots of good advice and loving support.
So you took the first step and know that you have a problem. You have lots of options of how to go from here....You can taper, but you have to be very strong
to do this, hard to hold your own pills and limit yourself. Cold turkey...which is not pleasant but has been done by many on here.....but there are some risks with certain drugs no sure if oxy is one of them.....Is there a way that you can talk to a trusted doctor, who can give you advice as to your best course of action, there are things they can give you to make it somewhat tolerable.
I am sorry to hear that you feel alone, unwanted and scared......No matter who we are I all think that we feel that way at some point in our lives. The part about being weak.....you may be wrong there. You posted here that took a lot of courage, and you admitted you have a problem. Great first steps to taking back control of your life. I wish you luck and hope that you find the answers you are searching for that will help to better your life. You are worth it....
Take care of yourself,
Tina
Oh and if you need anything all you have to do is post......
This is a great place to be.....you will get lots of good advice and loving support.
So you took the first step and know that you have a problem. You have lots of options of how to go from here....You can taper, but you have to be very strong
to do this, hard to hold your own pills and limit yourself. Cold turkey...which is not pleasant but has been done by many on here.....but there are some risks with certain drugs no sure if oxy is one of them.....Is there a way that you can talk to a trusted doctor, who can give you advice as to your best course of action, there are things they can give you to make it somewhat tolerable.
I am sorry to hear that you feel alone, unwanted and scared......No matter who we are I all think that we feel that way at some point in our lives. The part about being weak.....you may be wrong there. You posted here that took a lot of courage, and you admitted you have a problem. Great first steps to taking back control of your life. I wish you luck and hope that you find the answers you are searching for that will help to better your life. You are worth it....
Take care of yourself,
Tina
Oh and if you need anything all you have to do is post......
Hi Wade, welcome to the other side..LOL...
I echo the other posters, most addictions start out pretty innocent, but I have found that these medications are alot harder to get off of than other drugs.
There are medicines that can help the withdrawls, but then there is a new way of living that you have to find that will help you stay off...
Good luck!
Kerry
I echo the other posters, most addictions start out pretty innocent, but I have found that these medications are alot harder to get off of than other drugs.
There are medicines that can help the withdrawls, but then there is a new way of living that you have to find that will help you stay off...
Good luck!
Kerry
Wade,
No, it's not too late at all. But it may be later than you think....meaning, don't mess around with this. Oxy is highly addictive, as you've found out. It will only get worse -- your tolerance will build, you'll have to take more and more to get even a slight high, and then you'll start doing really stupid and risky things to get more. It's a one-way elevator ride -- down -- but you can get off now and save yourself a lot of pain.
Try reducing your dose by one pill for 4-5 days, then another pill for 4-5 days, then done. That's a reasonable taper if you're afraid of the withdrawals. But if you can't stick to the taper schedule, please do whatever you have to in order to get off them -- cold turkey, see a doctor (maybe an addictionologist), detox center, out-patient or in-patient rehab, whatever. Then develop a program to stay stopped -- counseling, 12-step meetings, support groups. The mental addiction remains after the oxy is out of your system.
Getting honest with your problem takes courage and is a huge step toward recovery. You've taken it here. Congratulations -- keep those steps coming! M.
No, it's not too late at all. But it may be later than you think....meaning, don't mess around with this. Oxy is highly addictive, as you've found out. It will only get worse -- your tolerance will build, you'll have to take more and more to get even a slight high, and then you'll start doing really stupid and risky things to get more. It's a one-way elevator ride -- down -- but you can get off now and save yourself a lot of pain.
Try reducing your dose by one pill for 4-5 days, then another pill for 4-5 days, then done. That's a reasonable taper if you're afraid of the withdrawals. But if you can't stick to the taper schedule, please do whatever you have to in order to get off them -- cold turkey, see a doctor (maybe an addictionologist), detox center, out-patient or in-patient rehab, whatever. Then develop a program to stay stopped -- counseling, 12-step meetings, support groups. The mental addiction remains after the oxy is out of your system.
Getting honest with your problem takes courage and is a huge step toward recovery. You've taken it here. Congratulations -- keep those steps coming! M.
I'm in my sixth day of quittin OC. I was taking 2-3 80's a day for a good year. I thought I would be feelin a lot better physically but the pain is still there. Mentally though, I have made a list of the things I want to buy with all the extra money I will be saving. I actually just bought a new car so I look at that as inspiriation to quit. I know I am in my worst days right now but according to what people say, the worst is almost over. I tried to switch to Xanax as a substitute for the first couple days but my body soon became immune to it. SInce then, I'll just wait it out and share my story of what helped me get through the "2 weeks of hell!"
-J
-J
Hi Phxaz,
Congratulations on your 6 days! That's great stuff. You sound like you're toughing it out.....I don't have personal experience with oxy w/d, just hydro. At 6 days, I was feeling much better physically, although sleep was a longer term problem. Hang in there, and let us know how you're doing. M.
Congratulations on your 6 days! That's great stuff. You sound like you're toughing it out.....I don't have personal experience with oxy w/d, just hydro. At 6 days, I was feeling much better physically, although sleep was a longer term problem. Hang in there, and let us know how you're doing. M.
Hey phax congrats..
Saunas usually help alot, and alot of water and exersize.
Also, be kind to yourself, and keep things very simple for a while..
You will feel better before you know it...
Kerry
Saunas usually help alot, and alot of water and exersize.
Also, be kind to yourself, and keep things very simple for a while..
You will feel better before you know it...
Kerry
