Hey there Zac. I had to write to you because I wanted to address some things you said in your post to me on setting me straight thread. It seems as if sometimes in your replies to me that you can almost see in my soul LOL. This is not the first reply where you have said something that it was as if you know my deepest thoughts and feelings. I think you have an understanding of what it is I am going through and for that I am grateful. I think you have it down pat with the things you said about the cunning and baffling.,that he is everywhere,in song,in movies.Zac You asked . whom do I resent ? HIM,HIM and HIM. actually resentment is probably too loose a term to use but it will do for now. Do I resent me? I don't know . I know I am not responsible for what happened but I was there in the same building ,in another room while this was happening. In another room intoxicated and partying it up and having a good time while this happened to her. Would things have been different if I were sober that nite ? I don't think so because this was at a anniversary party and that would be the last thing that would be on anyones mind of that happening. IT was a dance hall in an hotel with family and friends. All of whom we trusted.The thing I think about is maybe if I had been sober that night I would have noticed something wrong after the fact and we could have dealt with it then instead of 5 years of depression and in and outs of hospitals and her addiction and so on and so on. I had no reason to be on the alert before hand because this was a person I had NO REASON in the world to distrust. i would have trusted him with my daughters life. For him to do such a vile deed is such an act of betrayal. And as for how hard and painful it is for me the pain that my daughter has been through has been so much greater and so much more damage done. I had 49 years of having faith and trust in people. she was just 2 weeks into her 15 th birthday when it was destroyed for her and by a family member at that. If you can't trust your own family who can you trust Zac?Thanks for the post and the questions. Always helps to dig a little deeper than we want to at times. Take care my friend and thanks
Hi Zak,
I do hope your knee, or is it both knees is healing. I'm thinking just one, as to allow you some independence. I do wish you and pray for a quick recovery. I'm not sure what type of surgery you had. Did you have knee replacement, or what?
I hope your on the mend now and will soon be back up to speed. Thinking of you and wishing you well. Thank You, for all your great ESH you share with us all.
Love,
Chris :-)
I do hope your knee, or is it both knees is healing. I'm thinking just one, as to allow you some independence. I do wish you and pray for a quick recovery. I'm not sure what type of surgery you had. Did you have knee replacement, or what?
I hope your on the mend now and will soon be back up to speed. Thinking of you and wishing you well. Thank You, for all your great ESH you share with us all.
Love,
Chris :-)
Hey Zac I hope your knees are doing fine too. If you don't mind me asking what is wrong with your knees? .................take care
It's all the knee-walking and groveling from a previous life. I used to walk on my lips and they're all healed, so I'm sure Zac's knees have gotten stronger from all that genuflecting...
LOL
LOL
LOL well I am sure he will let us know if he" kneeds" any help getting back up lol
Gidday All
The knee is coming along good and i had it reconstructed last year but the operation wasnt as good as it could of been and i blew the cartilages at work and got a surgeon in the city to sort it out so hopefully i can be playing golden oldies rugby again next year and sorry for the delay in answering as i have been away, we actually got stranded in an alpine pass for 5 hours due to snow and cars crashing etc so the kids thought it was great but the worrier in me was sh@tting bricks at the time but now that we got through it ok i am more comfortable with the snow etc and it is one less thing to worry about:)
Hey Pirate i know my fear and my systems of how i live that fear and turn it outwards or inwards and i reply on how i feel about things and my memory of the journey of fear is guite good, i am an alky so i can relate and i would blame myself and resent myself and i have done this many times for things that have happened in my life because i needed that cycle of fear to continue when i was in active addiction, my blackouts depended on it
Thanks for the thoughts everyone and Skg dont ever loose your sense of humour as its classic and it is so important in recovery to let our sense of humours loose and laugh
light and love zac
The knee is coming along good and i had it reconstructed last year but the operation wasnt as good as it could of been and i blew the cartilages at work and got a surgeon in the city to sort it out so hopefully i can be playing golden oldies rugby again next year and sorry for the delay in answering as i have been away, we actually got stranded in an alpine pass for 5 hours due to snow and cars crashing etc so the kids thought it was great but the worrier in me was sh@tting bricks at the time but now that we got through it ok i am more comfortable with the snow etc and it is one less thing to worry about:)
Hey Pirate i know my fear and my systems of how i live that fear and turn it outwards or inwards and i reply on how i feel about things and my memory of the journey of fear is guite good, i am an alky so i can relate and i would blame myself and resent myself and i have done this many times for things that have happened in my life because i needed that cycle of fear to continue when i was in active addiction, my blackouts depended on it
Thanks for the thoughts everyone and Skg dont ever loose your sense of humour as its classic and it is so important in recovery to let our sense of humours loose and laugh
light and love zac
