A gal that I got sober with back in 2003 was able to stay sober for ninth months and went back out and is having a heck of a time trying to get back to AA...she just spent six days in jail from yet another DUI arrest. She was living with her Mom and her Mom threw her out...she wanted to stay with her married "boyfriend", but he said no...now she is drunk off her butt and I'm not sure where she is....she was totally messed up when she called me and several other of my AA girlfriends...hopefully, this will be her bottom, I wouldn't be surprised if she is arrested again tonight because of her behavior...however, I suggested she just lay down, pass out and call me in the morning and I'll get her to a meeting...., I thought of taking her to a meeting, but around here it is not like back in the old days of AA, it seems that more people are very uncomfortable when a wet drunk shows up at a meeting; kinda sad, since Tradition 3 is: "the only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking".....wow, but for the grace of God go I....
Gidday VWGirl
I hope the lady finds AA and that the AA groups that are worried about active drinkers in there meetings should really think about such a life changing decision although i am not there and i dont know all the circumstances and it is rare to find a alcohol only alky and no one knows what other drugs they may be doing or what they are packing....maybe a conscience meeting may clear the air and set a few boundaries etc
I have been at meetings where a person would leave and go to the pub on the way home each week and they are now sober, i have seen people sharing drunk and i know there but for the grace of god go i and i have sat next to people who stink of alcohol and all that goes with it.....they need to see the hope and hear the hope at meetings.
My brother goes to meetings in Auzzy where alkys go for the free biscuits and coffee and maybe get a free ciggy or money for beer from a sympathetic AA member and after awhile he started to listen.....he was living on the Kings Cross train platform drinking metho when he went to those meetings drunk and now he goes to them sober whenever he is up in Sydney and he has been sober for 11 years+
Dealing with active drinkers can be really hard and i have had one guy i was helping suicide and others keep drinking BUT also there are others who have stayed sober.
I really hope youre friend keeps the willingness and finds her way back.
light and love zac
I hope the lady finds AA and that the AA groups that are worried about active drinkers in there meetings should really think about such a life changing decision although i am not there and i dont know all the circumstances and it is rare to find a alcohol only alky and no one knows what other drugs they may be doing or what they are packing....maybe a conscience meeting may clear the air and set a few boundaries etc
I have been at meetings where a person would leave and go to the pub on the way home each week and they are now sober, i have seen people sharing drunk and i know there but for the grace of god go i and i have sat next to people who stink of alcohol and all that goes with it.....they need to see the hope and hear the hope at meetings.
My brother goes to meetings in Auzzy where alkys go for the free biscuits and coffee and maybe get a free ciggy or money for beer from a sympathetic AA member and after awhile he started to listen.....he was living on the Kings Cross train platform drinking metho when he went to those meetings drunk and now he goes to them sober whenever he is up in Sydney and he has been sober for 11 years+
Dealing with active drinkers can be really hard and i have had one guy i was helping suicide and others keep drinking BUT also there are others who have stayed sober.
I really hope youre friend keeps the willingness and finds her way back.
light and love zac
Hi VW Girl,
Jeez that's rough - your story just goes to prove that this really is a one day at time programme. 9 months was such a great achievement for her. Maybe she got into a comfort zone and got complacent with the whole thing or maybe there was just one incident that knocked her and made her go back on the booze. It doesn't really matter. What I think she needs to do is focus on the time she spent sober and how good she felt then instead of berating herself for going back on the booze. Guilt always seeks punishment. If she could just get to a few meetings and spend even a few days sober just to get the alcohol out of her system. Its easier to stay sober than get sober - I know - but if she was feeling physically better maybe she could find the strength to get back on the programme.
I'm not sure I see the benefit of her going to a meeeting drunk. Not because of the other members but will she be 'with it' enough to get anything positive out of the meeting? Maybe just wait until she sobered up some bit.
She is luckuy she has you. She probably needs other AA members now more than ever even though she might not see it that way just now.
The very best of luck and do let us know how she is....
Love, Ruthxx
Jeez that's rough - your story just goes to prove that this really is a one day at time programme. 9 months was such a great achievement for her. Maybe she got into a comfort zone and got complacent with the whole thing or maybe there was just one incident that knocked her and made her go back on the booze. It doesn't really matter. What I think she needs to do is focus on the time she spent sober and how good she felt then instead of berating herself for going back on the booze. Guilt always seeks punishment. If she could just get to a few meetings and spend even a few days sober just to get the alcohol out of her system. Its easier to stay sober than get sober - I know - but if she was feeling physically better maybe she could find the strength to get back on the programme.
I'm not sure I see the benefit of her going to a meeeting drunk. Not because of the other members but will she be 'with it' enough to get anything positive out of the meeting? Maybe just wait until she sobered up some bit.
She is luckuy she has you. She probably needs other AA members now more than ever even though she might not see it that way just now.
The very best of luck and do let us know how she is....
Love, Ruthxx
My "Home Group," is an Open Group. We get 'invitees' of the court system, disgruntled spouses from the "Angry Wive's Club," others that get up the stones to see what AA is all about, and a host of others. When I went on my first day I was grateful and amazed that I wasn't judged, and that nobody else was,either. The "God Stuff," wasn't jammed up my butt and compassion oozed from the old-timers as well as those who had been to "Whiskey School," or rehab. If it were any less, I never would have returned because it would have reminded me too much of 'church,' where you're welcomed as long you're acceptable.
AA is THE last stop for many. As long as they follow the simple rules of not being disruptive I say let them stay. They're good examples and reminders, too... But for the AA and the grace of MY God, I'd eventually be sharing a refrigerator box, or dead. I'm sure... It's ALL about acceptance in every sense of the word--for me, at least...
Thanks to everyone who's a part of this forum and thus a part of my recovery. I'm grateful for your patience and understanding, too.
AA is THE last stop for many. As long as they follow the simple rules of not being disruptive I say let them stay. They're good examples and reminders, too... But for the AA and the grace of MY God, I'd eventually be sharing a refrigerator box, or dead. I'm sure... It's ALL about acceptance in every sense of the word--for me, at least...
Thanks to everyone who's a part of this forum and thus a part of my recovery. I'm grateful for your patience and understanding, too.
When I stumbled through the doors of AA ...it was in support of my cousin a recovering addict. I had gone to a young peoples AA convention to hang out with her...Had been having bad cravings to drink in the morning ....so i drank all the way down to Orlando( about 2 hours from me).
I thought it was an NA convention and was under the impression that addicts didn't mind drinking. (really, I'm serious). That night I was sitting in a speaker meeting of 2000 sober young people ,completely hungover, and the power of the program washed over me and told hold. That was my last drunk(hopefully).
If I had been barred from any of that exposure to recovery because I was loaded, I might not be here today.
I'm a HUGE fan of the 3rd tradition.
love,
C
I thought it was an NA convention and was under the impression that addicts didn't mind drinking. (really, I'm serious). That night I was sitting in a speaker meeting of 2000 sober young people ,completely hungover, and the power of the program washed over me and told hold. That was my last drunk(hopefully).
If I had been barred from any of that exposure to recovery because I was loaded, I might not be here today.
I'm a HUGE fan of the 3rd tradition.
love,
C
Avondale Girl! That's a great story! I've heard of plenty of people that get a 'moment of clarity,' in alot of different ways. I used to be invited to some sorts of speaker meetings and such at churches but always figured someone was setting me up--always suspicious of others' intentions. God forbid they were trying to help!
Thanks for sharing! I absolutely love this 'place!'
Thanks for sharing! I absolutely love this 'place!'
Okay, so I call my friend up this morning...left a message "wakey, wakey are you ready and willing to get to a meeting, I'm comin' to pick your a@@ up...." ~ she called back and she was in that state of remorse, however not enough to go to a meeting....she actually believes, and this is the insanity of the disease, that by drinking she'll be able to figure it all out...she has never been on her own she's 51 and she also thinks she is too old to get sober), she's always been taken care of by a guy....so she is in terrible fear of being alone....I am praying she finds her way back to the rooms of AA (she was court ordered community service, so she'll probably do it at the Alano club, but she's done it so many times up there, that I'm not sure if she'll be able to do it again there) ~ I love the Steps and I love the Traditions too...my Sponsor took me through both of them...pray for "P", she's just gotta find her way back home (AA), where she can be safe and we can love her and until she can love herself again. Thank you.
There but for the grace of god go I... I used to think that I could figure myself out better if I drank.... sending positive energy to "P" AND you Geri..... don't forget to take care of yourself...
one day at a time, Cookster
one day at a time, Cookster
I just prayed out loud for your friend P. May she find the willingness to want sobriety. May she want life over death. I've lifted her name up to the one whose name is above all others. It is never to late to start over! Where there is breath there is hope. Yes, Geri it is easier to stay sober than to get sober.
I've been reading all your posts weekly this one brought me out of the dark and into the light. I appreciate all of you more than you know. Eleven days sober, just today. I'm involved in a one step at a new church with the Life Recovery Bible. They use the Twelve Steps & Traditions. Lacey, wherever you are I'm thinking and praying for you! Idgie,Izzie I'm glad your back. Flojo, Ruth I'm so HAPPY for your Continued SOBRIETY. AND THE REST OF YOU THANKYOU FOR YOUR ESH!
Love,Chris
I've been reading all your posts weekly this one brought me out of the dark and into the light. I appreciate all of you more than you know. Eleven days sober, just today. I'm involved in a one step at a new church with the Life Recovery Bible. They use the Twelve Steps & Traditions. Lacey, wherever you are I'm thinking and praying for you! Idgie,Izzie I'm glad your back. Flojo, Ruth I'm so HAPPY for your Continued SOBRIETY. AND THE REST OF YOU THANKYOU FOR YOUR ESH!
Love,Chris
Hi Chris,
Well done 11 days is great. It feels so good too doesn't it?
Please keep us posted on how you are doing. XXX
Well done 11 days is great. It feels so good too doesn't it?
Please keep us posted on how you are doing. XXX
We have had drunk and Gawd knows what else people show up at meetings and like anyone, as long as they are not disruptive, they stay. Well, we even have had a (somewhat) disruptive one stay. I now notice that drunk people can be rather morose....
As for "old-fashoined" detoxes, I am not a big fan of that. With the ever present threat of drug combos, plus that trying to detox a highly depended alcoholic with alcohol is risky at best, I feel this is best left to health professionals...
I like to feel I am now working on being a human connection professional....and step aid professional. Leave the physical stuff to the health professionals. Leave showing how AA works to us...
As for "old-fashoined" detoxes, I am not a big fan of that. With the ever present threat of drug combos, plus that trying to detox a highly depended alcoholic with alcohol is risky at best, I feel this is best left to health professionals...
I like to feel I am now working on being a human connection professional....and step aid professional. Leave the physical stuff to the health professionals. Leave showing how AA works to us...
Thanks everyone....my friend is back at her Mother's and now it's an Alanon issue too....
