Hi everyone.
VW I know you work the 12 steps of AA and I was just wondering what they are?
I'm tempted to buy the book but am still a bit apprehensive about it all.
I'm thinking of asking to get into a rehab clinic through my alcohol counsellor as I feel they're trying to get me to go through all the motions but I need intensive support because of my BPD.
Today... had a massive row with my mom... ended up slashing my arm in sheer frustration... but didn't pick up that bottle of whisky (am proud of myself for that). I like to have it sit there and not drink it to PROVE to myself I can... even when things are really rough.
Anyway... thanks VW...
Izzy X
Iz,
Here is the Big Book of AA online for you: http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org..._tableofcnt.cfm
The 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Sorry, to hear that you had it out with you Mum...me and K had a "weird" morning this morning, but she was tense cause she was going to her Step-Grandad's funeral...it's her Step-Mom's Dad....I know the frustration you feel, but I see progress in you and you are growing and moving forward. However, please try hard not to hurt yourself....reach out here first...and throw that damn bottle of whiskey away ~ lol...or do I have to hop on a plane and do it myself?
Love ya...Geri
Here is the Big Book of AA online for you: http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org..._tableofcnt.cfm
The 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Sorry, to hear that you had it out with you Mum...me and K had a "weird" morning this morning, but she was tense cause she was going to her Step-Grandad's funeral...it's her Step-Mom's Dad....I know the frustration you feel, but I see progress in you and you are growing and moving forward. However, please try hard not to hurt yourself....reach out here first...and throw that damn bottle of whiskey away ~ lol...or do I have to hop on a plane and do it myself?
Love ya...Geri
Izzy...I have a friend who is a recovering cutter...I know how difficult it is...just from watching him Trying not to give in and cut himself....The 12 Steps of AA will help with you that too...they really are a design for living...a new way of life...giving you tools to deal with things in a healthy way...And AA meetings give you the personal support you need...Like Geri said...throw the whiskey out...and post here or call a trusted friend when you feel like cutting...I forget but do you go to meetings?
Prayers and Hugs...Love Gina
Prayers and Hugs...Love Gina
Hi Gina and VW... I don't go to meetings... and I don't believe in God either... so that's a big hurdle... and maybe I shouldn't go down the AA route.
I feel so betrayed by people it's hard for me to trust... and I certainly don't trust in anything I can't see... I have no faith in people... I have no faith in God... although I can go to church or speak to the Minister... I just don't believe what they say...
I feel believeing in God is like brainwashing... (please... only my own opinion)... I've had God rammed down my throat since before I could speak... I was made to go to church against my will... so it just disillusioned me I think...
I've had one parent who's a God fearing Christian... and the other is like... that's total bulls*** you know???
One day at the church evening service... they had a little group thing where each person was asked did they believe that God loved them and that Jesus died for us... I was the only person to say no to each of those... and that I didn't believe anyone truly loved ME...
I believe in Good and Evil... I believe in sin and virtue... I just don't believe in God...
Izzy X
(P.S- Geri... I shall try to have that bottle of whisky given away or poured out by Christmas... lol... take care XX)
I feel so betrayed by people it's hard for me to trust... and I certainly don't trust in anything I can't see... I have no faith in people... I have no faith in God... although I can go to church or speak to the Minister... I just don't believe what they say...
I feel believeing in God is like brainwashing... (please... only my own opinion)... I've had God rammed down my throat since before I could speak... I was made to go to church against my will... so it just disillusioned me I think...
I've had one parent who's a God fearing Christian... and the other is like... that's total bulls*** you know???
One day at the church evening service... they had a little group thing where each person was asked did they believe that God loved them and that Jesus died for us... I was the only person to say no to each of those... and that I didn't believe anyone truly loved ME...
I believe in Good and Evil... I believe in sin and virtue... I just don't believe in God...
Izzy X
(P.S- Geri... I shall try to have that bottle of whisky given away or poured out by Christmas... lol... take care XX)
Hi Izzy...its okay that you don't believe in God...I didn't either for a long time...It was my Higher Power (usually nature, a goddess, ect)...it changed as I changed...and yes I know a lot of people in AA say God but it is not pushed on you...It is just a Higher Power/Being...something bigger than us as humans...a force (good and evil)...a being...
AA is not for everyone..I understand that...its just that the principles, the support, and the Steps have had a HUGE influence and presence in my life...even when I didn't believe in God or was Really angry with Him...it is a spiritual program not religious...and I know that it is hard to distinguish in the beginning...
And trust issues...I understand that too Izzy...I had to take the chance and trust someone b/c really I couldn't even trust myself...I still have some trust issues but I take the risk b/c in the long run...trusting has been better to me than the trusting and getting screwed has hurt me...Its baby steps Izzy...
Love Gina
AA is not for everyone..I understand that...its just that the principles, the support, and the Steps have had a HUGE influence and presence in my life...even when I didn't believe in God or was Really angry with Him...it is a spiritual program not religious...and I know that it is hard to distinguish in the beginning...
And trust issues...I understand that too Izzy...I had to take the chance and trust someone b/c really I couldn't even trust myself...I still have some trust issues but I take the risk b/c in the long run...trusting has been better to me than the trusting and getting screwed has hurt me...Its baby steps Izzy...
Love Gina
Hey Izzy
Fire your old god and find a new one.....
Put the faith you had in drinking and have in cutting into something you can relate to Good
Orderly
Direction
Fake it till you make it, just start praying to the sky or the wall BUT not the bloody whisky bottle LOL.
Izzy believing in a higher power is just about being able to hand your thoughts and fears over and yes we can grab them back just as we can then hand them back again and again.
Tell your god your inner most fears silently in your prayers.
You believe in good then pray to it.
Light and love Zac
Fire your old god and find a new one.....
Put the faith you had in drinking and have in cutting into something you can relate to Good
Orderly
Direction
Fake it till you make it, just start praying to the sky or the wall BUT not the bloody whisky bottle LOL.
Izzy believing in a higher power is just about being able to hand your thoughts and fears over and yes we can grab them back just as we can then hand them back again and again.
Tell your god your inner most fears silently in your prayers.
You believe in good then pray to it.
Light and love Zac
Zac,
Great post
Finally, I understand how AA could work for me.
Thankyou
Wendy
Great post
Finally, I understand how AA could work for me.
Thankyou
Wendy
Hey Iz, Okay just checkin' in with you ~ how are you holding up? Did you pour the booze out? I think Zac hit the nail on the head with his post....
Hi all...
First Zac your post really inspired me... I'm just not sure I have a 'good' in my life I can hold onto... everything seems to be black and unnatainable... I feel really helpless... I have the alcohol counsellor again tomorrow so I shall have a chat about things to her...
Second... I'm cracking up again as my sister is thieving from me again... she denies it til she's blue in the face and then turns on the tears as though she's innocent but still my things are dissapearing into thin air... I don't know what to do... she's unstoppable. Short of locking everything up which I don't feel I should have to do I just have to let her do it and not say anything because then I'm the one who gets it in the neck for starting a disagreement. I feel as though I'm just supposed to keep my mouth shut and let her take as much money and everything else from me as she wants!!! 22 years old... a compulsive liar... thief... she's pathetic... totally pathetic... she really needs to grow up... she doesn't know the meaning of being an adult because she's never had to deal with anything in her life... she just runs away the whole time...
This sounds really pathetic when I read it back to myself... but it's like I'm going totally insane... I'm wondering to myself... did I have more money than this I thought I did... my things are gone out of the bathroom... I sure didn't move them... She's got me thinking I'm cracking up... and I know I'm not!!! She uses being 'depressed' as an excuse but never goes to the Doctor and is never on any medication... I'm on Major Tranquillisers for my BPD and I don't use them as an excuse for anything except if I take one during the day I've had people think I'm on drugs as they make me a bit sleepy... She needs to face up to herself... the way she behaves... the way she reacts to things... she needs to grow up and take a good hard look at herself. All her problems are self caused... the same mistakes over and over again...
I can't change her... I know that. She's moving out in January... can't bloody wait. She does nothing but cause bother when she's here...
Sorry for going on but I need to get this out or else it's gonna eat me up and I'll harm myself or drink...
I'm really fed up and tired... I just wish she would grow up!!!! She's not doing herself any favours... but expects everyone to say it's all ok when she's feeling sorry for herself... I get the hard treatment... the cold shoulder... she gets pitied and it only serves to reinforce her stupid behaviour...
Am I mad or am I mad... No wonder over the years I've become more and more disollusioned about things... It just all seems to be downhill... I need a pick me up... and I think her moving out will be good for me... she's just a bad influence all round...
Anyway... sorry and thanks for letting me ramble on...
Izzy X
First Zac your post really inspired me... I'm just not sure I have a 'good' in my life I can hold onto... everything seems to be black and unnatainable... I feel really helpless... I have the alcohol counsellor again tomorrow so I shall have a chat about things to her...
Second... I'm cracking up again as my sister is thieving from me again... she denies it til she's blue in the face and then turns on the tears as though she's innocent but still my things are dissapearing into thin air... I don't know what to do... she's unstoppable. Short of locking everything up which I don't feel I should have to do I just have to let her do it and not say anything because then I'm the one who gets it in the neck for starting a disagreement. I feel as though I'm just supposed to keep my mouth shut and let her take as much money and everything else from me as she wants!!! 22 years old... a compulsive liar... thief... she's pathetic... totally pathetic... she really needs to grow up... she doesn't know the meaning of being an adult because she's never had to deal with anything in her life... she just runs away the whole time...
This sounds really pathetic when I read it back to myself... but it's like I'm going totally insane... I'm wondering to myself... did I have more money than this I thought I did... my things are gone out of the bathroom... I sure didn't move them... She's got me thinking I'm cracking up... and I know I'm not!!! She uses being 'depressed' as an excuse but never goes to the Doctor and is never on any medication... I'm on Major Tranquillisers for my BPD and I don't use them as an excuse for anything except if I take one during the day I've had people think I'm on drugs as they make me a bit sleepy... She needs to face up to herself... the way she behaves... the way she reacts to things... she needs to grow up and take a good hard look at herself. All her problems are self caused... the same mistakes over and over again...
I can't change her... I know that. She's moving out in January... can't bloody wait. She does nothing but cause bother when she's here...
Sorry for going on but I need to get this out or else it's gonna eat me up and I'll harm myself or drink...
I'm really fed up and tired... I just wish she would grow up!!!! She's not doing herself any favours... but expects everyone to say it's all ok when she's feeling sorry for herself... I get the hard treatment... the cold shoulder... she gets pitied and it only serves to reinforce her stupid behaviour...
Am I mad or am I mad... No wonder over the years I've become more and more disollusioned about things... It just all seems to be downhill... I need a pick me up... and I think her moving out will be good for me... she's just a bad influence all round...
Anyway... sorry and thanks for letting me ramble on...
Izzy X
Hey Izzy
The good is in your heart, the good is the person who wants to be sober and pain free from cutting, the good is the person who loves Freddie, the good is the caring person who has helped a lot of people on this message board with love and wisdom.
The good is you Izzy........so pray to your higher good or your good energy source and i know this may sound mad but pray for your sister everyday for 2 weeks and this will help hand over the resentment to God and relieve you of the mental stress that she hands out so easily.
Your sister is a thoc (said..ttttthhhhhoooocccc) because that is the sound of the leeching affect she has on people when she attaches to there energy and drains it for her own use and giving nothing back in return
Izzy is there any chance you can get a flat for yourself, or is your sister moving out as you said in your post although if she moves out she can always come home and knick as she needs. If you had your own place you could keep an eye on your belongings and your sanity because Izzy you are important and the good is in and around you.
Light and love Zac
The good is in your heart, the good is the person who wants to be sober and pain free from cutting, the good is the person who loves Freddie, the good is the caring person who has helped a lot of people on this message board with love and wisdom.
The good is you Izzy........so pray to your higher good or your good energy source and i know this may sound mad but pray for your sister everyday for 2 weeks and this will help hand over the resentment to God and relieve you of the mental stress that she hands out so easily.
Your sister is a thoc (said..ttttthhhhhoooocccc) because that is the sound of the leeching affect she has on people when she attaches to there energy and drains it for her own use and giving nothing back in return
Izzy is there any chance you can get a flat for yourself, or is your sister moving out as you said in your post although if she moves out she can always come home and knick as she needs. If you had your own place you could keep an eye on your belongings and your sanity because Izzy you are important and the good is in and around you.
Light and love Zac
