21 days ago-I finally made the move and went and saw an Addiction Specialist and got on this Suboxen Program. WOW !! Im so glad i did ! I never thought in a million years that being sober would feel this good !
I have money in my pocket- No more anxiety over when and where i was going to get my Dro's........ I swear i always felt that i was going to have a heart attack ! All i did was worry about the pills !! If i didnt have 15 in my pocket, to start my day--I would be stressed right out !!
How am i going to get a quick $100 ??? Who can i get it from ??? OK OK --I can borrow it from him and give it back to him on payday-Its allgood.....
Then again the next day--Same S-it ! Again and again...Then payday would come and i would have to make up stories of why my check was so bad...Amazing because my salary check on the first is enough to easily cover all of the household bills...
I would say that i had a chargeback for a certain deal i did or -I finally paid so and so back the last bit of money i owed him...All set now-I would say...
Terrible cycle...When i looked at my W-2"s 5 weeks ago and looked at my YTD for 2006 and thought to myself--Hey i dont have cable tv and dont have a car and im 34yrs old and i am making all of this money and just pissing it away...
I finally had enough !! I got online and did the search for Suboxen Dr's and wrote down a list of them and started calling..........Its amazing how an addict cannot get somebody on the damn horn right away when they want help !! I was scared to make the first call, but i realized noboday is going to do anything for me on a Sunday.....
So i rode out the day..I had about 3 Hydrocodones to get me through the day--I was feeling it already !! Even before any Withdrawals were even close to arriiving............I made a couple calls and got hooked up, so i could atleast make it in to work and get my job done...
So Monday January 8th 2007 was here,,,I had my list of Dr's and started calling around again...I spoke to a few Dr's but of course they didnt have any openings--I will put you on the list they told me....I was like: LIST ? You are going to put me on a f-ing list !! Hold on here BUB !! I cant be on a list !! Its me !! Poor me-you have to have room for me...Like i was the first brave soul to reach out for some help....
Anyway--I finally had someone call me back and say--You know--I act6ually have an opening in my program and i can get you in--I have a very tight schedule and you would need to be here within the hour---(I was 40 minutes way) AND...A big AND he said....And you will have to have $300 for the initial consultation and $100 to pre-pay for your next follow up visit and about $140 for the medecine....ARE YOU KIDDING ME ?--I thought to myself ....Im broke as a bent d-ck !..So I am all ramped up and ready to get this done-but where in the hell was i going to get that kind of money that fast?--So i told the Good Doctor-That i was very excited and that i had to quickly work out the money situation and i would give him a call back.......So i look around the office and i have already borrowed money from the majority of the people that had that kind of ching on them at work...I was timid to ask anyone--The my good friend looks over and said what the hell is your problem ?--So i told him and he is like--WHOA ! Are you serious ? what the ?---I said I know...I know ---(I laready owe this guy about $1000 as it is) but i always get it back to him...He was actually the one that i had "THE TALK" with on Saturday the 7th.....
Well--He ran out to the ATM and got the money and told me to go get it done !!
So i called the Dr. back and hopped in the car and dragged it to his office....
That was 21 days ago. I am so happy ! So proud ! So optimistic of what this future holds for me now !! I really can not believe that i waited so long and spent so much money-ruining my life and dragging myself and my family down--Thank goodness i didnt lose anything but my Cable !!--
Still dont have the cable back but I WILL soon !! Its unreal that i can go to work with a $20 bill and come home with $10....That was 4 pills before...
I AM SO HAPPY NOW !!! God bless you all and thank you for letting me share a little of me with you !
Big huge CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Keep us posted on your progress, it's good to hear you are doing so well.
Shelly
Shelly
Thank You Very Much ! I appreciate it !!
I want to hear some more stories like mine...WHats your story ?
21 days ago-I finally made the move and went and saw an Addiction Specialist and got on this Suboxen Program. WOW !! Im so glad i did ! I never thought in a million years that being sober would feel this good !
I have money in my pocket- No more anxiety over when and where i was going to get my Dro's........ I swear i always felt that i was going to have a heart attack ! All i did was worry about the pills !! If i didnt have 15 in my pocket, to start my day--I would be stressed right out !!
How am i going to get a quick $100 ??? Who can i get it from ??? OK OK --I can borrow it from him and give it back to him on payday-Its allgood.....
Then again the next day--Same S-it ! Again and again...Then payday would come and i would have to make up stories of why my check was so bad...Amazing because my salary check on the first is enough to easily cover all of the household bills...
I would say that i had a chargeback for a certain deal i did or -I finally paid so and so back the last bit of money i owed him...All set now-I would say...
Terrible cycle...When i looked at my W-2"s 5 weeks ago and looked at my YTD for 2006 and thought to myself--Hey i dont have cable tv and dont have a car and im 34yrs old and i am making all of this money and just pissing it away...
I finally had enough !! I got online and did the search for Suboxen Dr's and wrote down a list of them and started calling..........Its amazing how an addict cannot get somebody on the damn horn right away when they want help !! I was scared to make the first call, but i realized noboday is going to do anything for me on a Sunday.....
So i rode out the day..I had about 3 Hydrocodones to get me through the day--I was feeling it already !! Even before any Withdrawals were even close to arriiving............I made a couple calls and got hooked up, so i could atleast make it in to work and get my job done...
So Monday January 8th 2007 was here,,,I had my list of Dr's and started calling around again...I spoke to a few Dr's but of course they didnt have any openings--I will put you on the list they told me....I was like: LIST ? You are going to put me on a f-ing list !! Hold on here BUB !! I cant be on a list !! Its me !! Poor me-you have to have room for me...Like i was the first brave soul to reach out for some help....
Anyway--I finally had someone call me back and say--You know--I act6ually have an opening in my program and i can get you in--I have a very tight schedule and you would need to be here within the hour---(I was 40 minutes way) AND...A big AND he said....And you will have to have $300 for the initial consultation and $100 to pre-pay for your next follow up visit and about $140 for the medecine....ARE YOU KIDDING ME ?--I thought to myself ....Im broke as a bent d-ck !..So I am all ramped up and ready to get this done-but where in the hell was i going to get that kind of money that fast?--So i told the Good Doctor-That i was very excited and that i had to quickly work out the money situation and i would give him a call back.......So i look around the office and i have already borrowed money from the majority of the people that had that kind of ching on them at work...I was timid to ask anyone--The my good friend looks over and said what the hell is your problem ?--So i told him and he is like--WHOA ! Are you serious ? what the ?---I said I know...I know ---(I laready owe this guy about $1000 as it is) but i always get it back to him...He was actually the one that i had "THE TALK" with on Saturday the 7th.....
Well--He ran out to the ATM and got the money and told me to go get it done !!
So i called the Dr. back and hopped in the car and dragged it to his office....
That was 21 days ago. I am so happy ! So proud ! So optimistic of what this future holds for me now !! I really can not believe that i waited so long and spent so much money-ruining my life and dragging myself and my family down--Thank goodness i didnt lose anything but my Cable !!--
Still dont have the cable back but I WILL soon !! Its unreal that i can go to work with a $20 bill and come home with $10....That was 4 pills before...
I AM SO HAPPY NOW !!! God bless you all and thank you for letting me share a little of me with you !
top of page
I want to hear some more stories like mine...WHats your story ?
21 days ago-I finally made the move and went and saw an Addiction Specialist and got on this Suboxen Program. WOW !! Im so glad i did ! I never thought in a million years that being sober would feel this good !
I have money in my pocket- No more anxiety over when and where i was going to get my Dro's........ I swear i always felt that i was going to have a heart attack ! All i did was worry about the pills !! If i didnt have 15 in my pocket, to start my day--I would be stressed right out !!
How am i going to get a quick $100 ??? Who can i get it from ??? OK OK --I can borrow it from him and give it back to him on payday-Its allgood.....
Then again the next day--Same S-it ! Again and again...Then payday would come and i would have to make up stories of why my check was so bad...Amazing because my salary check on the first is enough to easily cover all of the household bills...
I would say that i had a chargeback for a certain deal i did or -I finally paid so and so back the last bit of money i owed him...All set now-I would say...
Terrible cycle...When i looked at my W-2"s 5 weeks ago and looked at my YTD for 2006 and thought to myself--Hey i dont have cable tv and dont have a car and im 34yrs old and i am making all of this money and just pissing it away...
I finally had enough !! I got online and did the search for Suboxen Dr's and wrote down a list of them and started calling..........Its amazing how an addict cannot get somebody on the damn horn right away when they want help !! I was scared to make the first call, but i realized noboday is going to do anything for me on a Sunday.....
So i rode out the day..I had about 3 Hydrocodones to get me through the day--I was feeling it already !! Even before any Withdrawals were even close to arriiving............I made a couple calls and got hooked up, so i could atleast make it in to work and get my job done...
So Monday January 8th 2007 was here,,,I had my list of Dr's and started calling around again...I spoke to a few Dr's but of course they didnt have any openings--I will put you on the list they told me....I was like: LIST ? You are going to put me on a f-ing list !! Hold on here BUB !! I cant be on a list !! Its me !! Poor me-you have to have room for me...Like i was the first brave soul to reach out for some help....
Anyway--I finally had someone call me back and say--You know--I act6ually have an opening in my program and i can get you in--I have a very tight schedule and you would need to be here within the hour---(I was 40 minutes way) AND...A big AND he said....And you will have to have $300 for the initial consultation and $100 to pre-pay for your next follow up visit and about $140 for the medecine....ARE YOU KIDDING ME ?--I thought to myself ....Im broke as a bent d-ck !..So I am all ramped up and ready to get this done-but where in the hell was i going to get that kind of money that fast?--So i told the Good Doctor-That i was very excited and that i had to quickly work out the money situation and i would give him a call back.......So i look around the office and i have already borrowed money from the majority of the people that had that kind of ching on them at work...I was timid to ask anyone--The my good friend looks over and said what the hell is your problem ?--So i told him and he is like--WHOA ! Are you serious ? what the ?---I said I know...I know ---(I laready owe this guy about $1000 as it is) but i always get it back to him...He was actually the one that i had "THE TALK" with on Saturday the 7th.....
Well--He ran out to the ATM and got the money and told me to go get it done !!
So i called the Dr. back and hopped in the car and dragged it to his office....
That was 21 days ago. I am so happy ! So proud ! So optimistic of what this future holds for me now !! I really can not believe that i waited so long and spent so much money-ruining my life and dragging myself and my family down--Thank goodness i didnt lose anything but my Cable !!--
Still dont have the cable back but I WILL soon !! Its unreal that i can go to work with a $20 bill and come home with $10....That was 4 pills before...
I AM SO HAPPY NOW !!! God bless you all and thank you for letting me share a little of me with you !
top of page
Congrats! I would've had almost a month if I hadn't messed up, but it wasn't a total failure, I took it like a bump in the road and continued my ultimate test.
Great to hear some joy and appreciation of life.
Chris
Great to hear some joy and appreciation of life.
Chris
So happy for you that sub was the answer. My own daughter had a negative time with sub and found the co-pay so expensive as well. i wish it had been the answer for her as it has been for so many people, but her pain issues are great. I hope sub will be your miracle and that the future holds a bright recovery. Best wishes.
SoberDaddy-Congratulations.You're on the right road .Get to some meetings brother.The sub is a tool but the steps are what will ultimately start changing your life.
Good Luck
Good Luck
Soberdaddy....How far youve come already!!! AWESOME FOR YOU...AWESOME FOR YOUR FAMILY.
I agree with Tim whether it be a 12 step meeting or private therapy,getting sober was the first part of your journey...learning to live sober will be your next step.
KEEP IT UP WE ARE SO PROUD OF YOU
moll7
I agree with Tim whether it be a 12 step meeting or private therapy,getting sober was the first part of your journey...learning to live sober will be your next step.
KEEP IT UP WE ARE SO PROUD OF YOU
moll7
Congradulations Soberdaddy. Keep up the good work.
I am actually on sub myself. I was lucky in the fact that I didn't have to go looking for a sub doctor. When I decided enough was enough I went to my doctor and told her what I had been doing. SHe gave me a Zoloft starter pack and asked me if I would go to SEABHS(Southeastern Arizona Behavioral Health Services) They help you out with counseling and addiction.
I didn't immediately get on sub and I relapsed. When I had an appointment with the med dr. She asked how I was and I told her "well, uh not so good". Then she asked me if I started taking the pills again and I told her yes. I asked her about sub because she had offered it to me before and I didn't want to get on something else so I said no. We set up a date (September 7th) and I went in to get on sub. I remember feeling so crappy and tired. I had no energy and I didn't want to talk to anyone. We had a little trouble getting the sub because the pharmacy where I live didn't have 2mg. pills. So someone had to drive to another town 30 miles away and I had to wait. By the time the sub got there I was feeling really bad and I couldn't wait to get on the sub. SO I went in the office and took 4 mgs. It took about 5 minutes for the sub to take effect and when it did, I felt soo good, SO normal.
SO I have been on sub since then and I started counseling. The counseling has really helped me. I never pictured myself going to a counselor, but I am so happy I am. My life has tooken a turn for the better and I am already trying to decrease the sub. I have gone from 8mg to 6 mg.
I am actually on sub myself. I was lucky in the fact that I didn't have to go looking for a sub doctor. When I decided enough was enough I went to my doctor and told her what I had been doing. SHe gave me a Zoloft starter pack and asked me if I would go to SEABHS(Southeastern Arizona Behavioral Health Services) They help you out with counseling and addiction.
I didn't immediately get on sub and I relapsed. When I had an appointment with the med dr. She asked how I was and I told her "well, uh not so good". Then she asked me if I started taking the pills again and I told her yes. I asked her about sub because she had offered it to me before and I didn't want to get on something else so I said no. We set up a date (September 7th) and I went in to get on sub. I remember feeling so crappy and tired. I had no energy and I didn't want to talk to anyone. We had a little trouble getting the sub because the pharmacy where I live didn't have 2mg. pills. So someone had to drive to another town 30 miles away and I had to wait. By the time the sub got there I was feeling really bad and I couldn't wait to get on the sub. SO I went in the office and took 4 mgs. It took about 5 minutes for the sub to take effect and when it did, I felt soo good, SO normal.
SO I have been on sub since then and I started counseling. The counseling has really helped me. I never pictured myself going to a counselor, but I am so happy I am. My life has tooken a turn for the better and I am already trying to decrease the sub. I have gone from 8mg to 6 mg.
Steph I liked your post.As most know Ive been on Sub for 2 years & may be on it for life.Even on the Sub I had a couple of relapses(after surgery etc)I thought just being on Sub would be enough but I cannot tell you what a difference there is in getting therapy.
Ill always give the Sub so much credit but learning about addiction & learning about yourself is a wonderful freeing thing.
So whether its through meetings or private therapy its always a good thing to educate about addiction.Theres so much more than "just not useing"ya know
Love Molly
Ill always give the Sub so much credit but learning about addiction & learning about yourself is a wonderful freeing thing.
So whether its through meetings or private therapy its always a good thing to educate about addiction.Theres so much more than "just not useing"ya know
Love Molly
Good for you, Soberdaddy. I was taking lots of hydros and drinking. I did inpatient and relapsed. Then I did inpatient again, and went on ultram for pain. Bad move.
Then, I got on oxy, and had really realized I was going to go down fast. So, I got on sub and have been clean for almost 2 years.
However, sub is only a tool. You have to work on the emotional/behavioral issues or you will likely not make it. Have you tried the steps like Tim said? Or counseling? If you are an addict, and you probably are, changing the way you think is paramount to making it work. Not to scare you, but if nothing changes, nothing changes.
I have also been on sub for a long time. Now, it is another thing to contend with. I still have to come off of that, and I am not looking forward to it because I am a huge procrastinator.
I would, if I were you, take as little as possible. Get the mental retraining (the steps worked for me) and rememeber, it only takes on pill to be back on that ride.
We are so proud of you!!! Life is better without that insanity.
Then, I got on oxy, and had really realized I was going to go down fast. So, I got on sub and have been clean for almost 2 years.
However, sub is only a tool. You have to work on the emotional/behavioral issues or you will likely not make it. Have you tried the steps like Tim said? Or counseling? If you are an addict, and you probably are, changing the way you think is paramount to making it work. Not to scare you, but if nothing changes, nothing changes.
I have also been on sub for a long time. Now, it is another thing to contend with. I still have to come off of that, and I am not looking forward to it because I am a huge procrastinator.
I would, if I were you, take as little as possible. Get the mental retraining (the steps worked for me) and rememeber, it only takes on pill to be back on that ride.
We are so proud of you!!! Life is better without that insanity.
Isn't Life Grand!! SD...I am really happy for you...its a long tough life addicted to PP...or whatever...glad that you made the decision to take back control of your life....
Like everyone has said...I hope that you attend counseling and or meetings and find a good recovery program..it has made all the difference in my life!
keep up the good work!
Like everyone has said...I hope that you attend counseling and or meetings and find a good recovery program..it has made all the difference in my life!
keep up the good work!
