My last oxy was at 9:30 am Wed. My 1st dose of suboxone was at 5:00 am Thurs. I'm on 12 mg. per day. Thurs. and Fri. I was thanking God to be off oxy and to not be sick. Today is a kinda weird. Physically, I feel fine. I can't quite pinpoint it, but something's not right. I feel less grateful to not be sick. I don't feel like i have really accomplished anything, even though I know I have. I keep wondering if I really need sub. I am starting to be annoyed about the 75 min. drive to my second Dr. appointment on Wed. I would have WALKED to that first appointment less than a week ago. I'm not craving oxy, but I feel discontent. Not as humble, I guess. Why? I've heard that pain pill addicts are the biggest babies. That was always true for me. Something like "OHMIGOD! I stubbed my toe. Take me to the ER! I need a shot of demerol, a take home script and a follow up visit to my Dr." Is this just the sober equivilent to being a big baby? Why can't I just forget this whole oxy nightmare and move on with my life??? By the way my life is mostly great. Do I have a problem? (Other than the obvious one). If so, how can I figure out what it is?
sweetie you CAN do this! there are some very wise people on this board that will help you, myself, my DOC was cocaine, so I have no experience with the sub or pain pill w/d for that matter, I never thought I could stop the coke, but I have for over 4 months now and yes, I felt strange at first, especially resisting the mental cravings I had for it.
I wish I could give you more information with what you are dealing with, but I thought some encouragement could help...
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I wish I could give you more information with what you are dealing with, but I thought some encouragement could help...
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Dear Atlas,
I used sub only after trying to go ct several times and failed. I had success with sub but I didnt have to drive 75mins to see the md. If you want to go ct there are alot of people on this board that can help you through it. Using sub is great way to start thinking clearly enough to get the help you need but you still have to work at it , but if you have some time you can get through the wds ct, if you work or have small kids and you could get some help and take a few days off then give ct a try. You will have support here.......All the Best...Shel
I used sub only after trying to go ct several times and failed. I had success with sub but I didnt have to drive 75mins to see the md. If you want to go ct there are alot of people on this board that can help you through it. Using sub is great way to start thinking clearly enough to get the help you need but you still have to work at it , but if you have some time you can get through the wds ct, if you work or have small kids and you could get some help and take a few days off then give ct a try. You will have support here.......All the Best...Shel
Atlas, what your feeling is normal but take it from someone that used sub, be patient with it, although you feel ok now your still healing and it takes a while.
Keep going to the doctor and give yourself time to heal mentally and physically.
Dont be in hurry it took you a while to get where you are it'll take a while to get healthy again.
I used sub for a 10 day detox and thought I was cured but once I stopped the sub I struggled with depression and fatigue for a while, In retrospect I would have stayed on the sub a little while longer.
hang in there
JD
Keep going to the doctor and give yourself time to heal mentally and physically.
Dont be in hurry it took you a while to get where you are it'll take a while to get healthy again.
I used sub for a 10 day detox and thought I was cured but once I stopped the sub I struggled with depression and fatigue for a while, In retrospect I would have stayed on the sub a little while longer.
hang in there
JD
Like Janet said, no doubt you can do this.
I don't know a lot about Sub, I had to go CT, only way that worked for me but I thought I couldn't do it either.
Keep reading and posting. These people on this wonderful board will give you hope. You will read about 2 week anniversaries and 3 year anniversaries.
That gave me hope my 1st week of W/D's and let me know that I could do it, too.
Keep in touch,
Love, Jean
I don't know a lot about Sub, I had to go CT, only way that worked for me but I thought I couldn't do it either.
Keep reading and posting. These people on this wonderful board will give you hope. You will read about 2 week anniversaries and 3 year anniversaries.
That gave me hope my 1st week of W/D's and let me know that I could do it, too.
Keep in touch,
Love, Jean
What JD said .
Hey I just wanted to reply to you.My first week on the sub (way back in Jan 05)I remember feeling ...off.Not high but something just didnt feel right.I would lay down for like 1/2 hour & it got better,Also there was some depression but I think all that is normal.
Now I feel what you need to learn is that addiction effects us mentally also.I know my mental cravings are the hardest.Its like saying goodbye to an abusive lover.We must even though we may still have feelings for ya know?Your mind will try & trick you but this is where your work comes in.The Sub will give you the bonus of helping your body,YOU need to get stronger in your mind also.
Do I think you can do it?????? I know you can Hang in there.....MJ
Now I feel what you need to learn is that addiction effects us mentally also.I know my mental cravings are the hardest.Its like saying goodbye to an abusive lover.We must even though we may still have feelings for ya know?Your mind will try & trick you but this is where your work comes in.The Sub will give you the bonus of helping your body,YOU need to get stronger in your mind also.
Do I think you can do it?????? I know you can Hang in there.....MJ
Well put MJ....an abusive lover...you may still be co-dependent on this "person" but you know it's not good for you......Sharonn
At this early stage of the game, please try not to pay too much attention to your thoughts about oxy, sub, addiction, doctors, etc.
They're likely to bouncing off every wall in your brain. Kind of like a tennis ball launched near the speed of light into a raquetball court.
The first 10 days or so are a real roller coaster ride of thoughts and emotions and about all you can do is hold on for the ride. It WILL get much better. Just keep hanging around here, posting your thoughts and feelings, no matter how wacky they may seem. See if you can find some time during your day to just flop down with your eyes closed and try to really relax. Hot bath, dark bedroom, comfy sofa, some place like that.
You're going to make it, each day gets a little clearer. Just hang in there.
James
They're likely to bouncing off every wall in your brain. Kind of like a tennis ball launched near the speed of light into a raquetball court.
The first 10 days or so are a real roller coaster ride of thoughts and emotions and about all you can do is hold on for the ride. It WILL get much better. Just keep hanging around here, posting your thoughts and feelings, no matter how wacky they may seem. See if you can find some time during your day to just flop down with your eyes closed and try to really relax. Hot bath, dark bedroom, comfy sofa, some place like that.
You're going to make it, each day gets a little clearer. Just hang in there.
James
Well said James...I can remember not trusting my thoughts.....still have to be watchful....Love S
Thanks everyone. I feel better today. More thankful, grateful. I am actually looking forward to sub clinic on Wed. This board is helping me so much. I keep wishing I could meet all of the caring and supportive people here. Then it just occured to me that if I could find an NA meeting, I could actually meet caring and supportive people.
I have been reading the board for almost 3 hours now, and I am going to post a couple of new threads.
I have been reading the board for almost 3 hours now, and I am going to post a couple of new threads.
