Well It's thursday and I did get more pills yesterday. I feel better just not having to hold all this in. I bet you all think I am crazy, but I need to get up the strength to quit, I know I do. How do you know when you are really ready? Please don't say I have to hit an all time low cause I don't think I could handle anymore feelings of self pity or guilt for what I am doing. I know they say the biggest step is realizing you have a problem, but how do I go about solving the problem. I am so scared and I guess you can say that I am a big coward and that I am weak for not being able to take charge of my own life. I'm feeling really guilty right about now, but in the same breath I can also say it's about time for another pill, SICK isn't it. All I know is that this sucks and I want my life back. I want to be able to get out of bed and feel normal again. Is this really possible without my pills? I just don't know anymore.
Kymissy,
I am exactly where you are at right now. I've known for about 6 months now that I HAVE to stop this insanity. So I keep thinking that I must not really be ready yet cuz I haven't done it yet. I've attempted it and failed. But I keep coming back to places like this every day and I guess I just hope that one day (soon) something will finally click in this sick head of mine! You see, the seed has been planted in my brain so even when I use, I can't enjoy it anymore. I just feel more guilty with every pill I swallow. I don't know what the answer is for people like us? But I know that there is hope for us. I haven't given up yet...so please don't you either! Take care. You are in my thoughts!
Jodi
I am exactly where you are at right now. I've known for about 6 months now that I HAVE to stop this insanity. So I keep thinking that I must not really be ready yet cuz I haven't done it yet. I've attempted it and failed. But I keep coming back to places like this every day and I guess I just hope that one day (soon) something will finally click in this sick head of mine! You see, the seed has been planted in my brain so even when I use, I can't enjoy it anymore. I just feel more guilty with every pill I swallow. I don't know what the answer is for people like us? But I know that there is hope for us. I haven't given up yet...so please don't you either! Take care. You are in my thoughts!
Jodi
Jodi thanks so much for your kind words. It does help to know that you are not the only one going through this hell we put ourselves in. I hope the same thing that one day something will click like you said and I can conquer this thing once and for all.
KyMissy,
I have chronic pain too, but I abused my drugs for pain and numbing myself, so now I can't get them anywhere (well I guess I could) but don't want to go through all that again. Yes, it's terribly hard to be in pain and nothing OTC works, but it can be done. I went through a Pain Management 6 week program where they do physical therapy and mental therapy and they want you to learn how to deal with your pain without drugs. That also has helped me.
I have chronic pain too, but I abused my drugs for pain and numbing myself, so now I can't get them anywhere (well I guess I could) but don't want to go through all that again. Yes, it's terribly hard to be in pain and nothing OTC works, but it can be done. I went through a Pain Management 6 week program where they do physical therapy and mental therapy and they want you to learn how to deal with your pain without drugs. That also has helped me.
Dear Missy & jodi....well I am going to just keep at you both.I belive you two can do this.I want to say whatever needs to be said to make you both realize that as scared as you are of WD the thought of these little pills controlling you are scareier.
Please belive you guys are not alone!! we are here to let you know your not alone in this..mj
Please belive you guys are not alone!! we are here to let you know your not alone in this..mj
