Hi everyone...I am going to begin to do another 4th Step...Haven't done one in many years and thought it was time...I go into this one with much more insight and courage...But...still have some fear...I think it is the act of writing it down, of actually seeing "it" on paper...I do a 10th Step on a daily basis and a 6th and 7th when I realize a defect has glared its ugly head...
My first 2 4th Steps were done about 19 and 18 years ago...It was a 2 part 4th Step...I was also in a different place (head place)...From what I remember it was more of a "what happened to me" when I was growing up and when I was active...I don't remember really delving into the character defects...
I found, what looks like, a good guide on the internet...and I am going to add some concepts from Codependent No More too...
See...it was a relationship that brought me here to these boards...First to the Family/Loved ones and then as I lurked...I remembered that my alcoholism recovery is just as important...
My long story short is Hi I am Gina and I am an alcoholic...I have been in recovery for 20 years (August)...I went to meetings and worked a program for 6 years...I continued to work a program but due to some personal/family stuff pretty much stopped going to meetings...I ocassionally went up til about 4 years ago...I am in the process of looking for some meetings out of my immediate area...My xh (a recovering alchie/addict) did a number on my character and the reasons for the divorce...a few people I run into now understand the truth but I do not feel comfortable in my immediate recovering area...I have a hard time with "personalities before principles"...
I have stayed sober by working my program...having a good relationship with God...my friends and family...Drinking is not an option for me...I also have an excellent therapist...who is an addiction specialist...
This board...reading your ESH...has been incredible for me...The sense of love and community, support and honesty has touched my life...I thank all of you and look forward to getting to know you better...
TFLS...Love Gina
Thanks for sharing...
I love you, Gina...your words on these boards talked to me and I am so grateful to be getting to know you better...your openness and honesty shows you have a strong program and it makes me happy that you reached your hand out and you are with me in my recovery program, as I am in yours....as far as the 4th step, I'm not there yet but it's progress and I'm progressing....
I hope your having a good day...let me know when your home and can talk, I'd love to chat...
(((hugs)))
Stacey
I love you, Gina...your words on these boards talked to me and I am so grateful to be getting to know you better...your openness and honesty shows you have a strong program and it makes me happy that you reached your hand out and you are with me in my recovery program, as I am in yours....as far as the 4th step, I'm not there yet but it's progress and I'm progressing....
I hope your having a good day...let me know when your home and can talk, I'd love to chat...
(((hugs)))
Stacey
Gina, Good for you for doing another 4th step....I hemmed and hawed and didn't do mine until I was 6 months sober...my Sponsor had set a deadline date for me, but changed it to a "goal" date....because she didn't like the fatal sound of a deadline date. I actually went to Palm Springs with my sister in March of 2004 and began it there...but didn't do my 5th step with my Sponsor until just after Memorial day weekend in May of 2004. It was more of a biographical 4th step like you described; I would like to do a 4th step just like it is outlined in the Big Book with the columns and all...I just took my Sponsee through the 4th and 5th step and it was such an honor and a privilege for someone to trust me with so much information...I took her thru these steps as outlined in the 12 X 12 and BB. We have a Step workshop every Monday night locally and my sister goes to it...it is really intensive...I may take that workshop; but my life is a little too busy for me to do so right now. So again, proud of you of you for jumping back in...thought I'd tell you what I've been told about my ex or others who judge me around the Program ~ it's not my business what anyone else thinks about me...that sometimes is difficult I know...but it does help if I keep repeating it to myself.
Hey Gina 20years awesome work and well done, in the end as long as you have a quality of recovery that allows you to self examine positively and stay sober then keep doing what youre doing. And you will find a meeting you are comfortable at and i think you will alsofind that youre new 4th step will help to do away with the personalitys before principles issue to a certain extent anyway.
Congradulations and keep posting as your life knowledge and recovery experience will be an awesome addition to the boards and my recovery depth
Light and love Zac
P.S Hi i'm Pete and I"m an Alcoholic
Congradulations and keep posting as your life knowledge and recovery experience will be an awesome addition to the boards and my recovery depth
Light and love Zac
P.S Hi i'm Pete and I"m an Alcoholic
Thanks Stacey, VW, and Pete...Hey Pete...you fooled me thought your name was Zac! Thank you all for sharing with me...this has just been an incredible time and this board has restored my faith in people...I realized I have "cacooned" myself...only allowing in a certain few...I just don't think I can put into words how I exactly feel about everyone...just express gratitude...
VW...I used to go and hold my head high and not care what people said but it got pretty nasty and even though a few have apologized...it is hard for me to go back to where I went...So going out of the area I feel is my best option...
My xh and I have about the same time and know the same people...He is a good manipulator and caused a great deal of trouble...I didn't put anyone in the middle...I kept certain things private b/c meetings are about recovery not gossip, lies, or character defamation...He didn't...and I was told since I didn't "advertise" my side they believed him...Whatever...I knew the truth and that is what mattered in the end...And to be honest...the talking behind my back, the outright nastiness...started to get to me...after talking with my therapist she agreed it was doing more harm than good...
Coming here though reminded me of the community, the friendships, the understanding that I do miss...and the support...And my responsibility to give back what I was so graciously given...
Have to go and write a paper...Stacey I will be in touch...Thanks again
Love Gina
VW...I used to go and hold my head high and not care what people said but it got pretty nasty and even though a few have apologized...it is hard for me to go back to where I went...So going out of the area I feel is my best option...
My xh and I have about the same time and know the same people...He is a good manipulator and caused a great deal of trouble...I didn't put anyone in the middle...I kept certain things private b/c meetings are about recovery not gossip, lies, or character defamation...He didn't...and I was told since I didn't "advertise" my side they believed him...Whatever...I knew the truth and that is what mattered in the end...And to be honest...the talking behind my back, the outright nastiness...started to get to me...after talking with my therapist she agreed it was doing more harm than good...
Coming here though reminded me of the community, the friendships, the understanding that I do miss...and the support...And my responsibility to give back what I was so graciously given...
Have to go and write a paper...Stacey I will be in touch...Thanks again
Love Gina
