I have never chatted with anyone online but right now it's pretty damn lonely. I have lost just about every single friend right now because of drinking/ not drinking. I have started counseling but no AA meetings yet. I go Tuesday night but without that liquid courage I'm terrified. I have forgotten how to socialize with out a drink in my hand. It's only been eight days and I already feel better physically and emotionally. My mom's in recovery so atleast i'm familiar with the term one day at a time otherwise staying clean would seem like an impossible task. Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's out there. Aren't kids amazing.
miss
Welcome missb, congradulations on eight days! That's an accomplishment. Hang in there, and keep posting. I've found that putting things into writing helps chase those fears away.
one day at a time, Cookster
one day at a time, Cookster
Hi, and congratulations on your eight days!
I know what you mean about the social thing. I have no idea how to 'go out' and socialise without drink - or drugs. I have never done it. Just doing simple things like a meal with my mom, dad , sister and her husband, and I am a nervous wreck, desperatley trying to look calm and confident. It is horrible, so I empathise. I have never got to AA, just the sheer horror of sitting in a room full of people I don't know; what if the spotlight is put on me....aarghhh, noooooooo!!
Weirdly though, for alot of the time I drank I craved company, knew tons of people, and would always be with someone or other, until I started getting really ill with it and then I seemed to get more and more isolated as people fell away because I was loosing the plot. I ended up with the junkies, tramps and old alcoholic men because with them, anything goes, no need for social etiquette. Even then, I got sicker and ended up completely alone with the bottle of brandy -I guess that's what it wants; it is your only friend once it has completely taken over your life.
I hope you make it through the doors of AA, it will be good for you. Do it now, before you put so many obstacles in your way that you don't do it at all. Good luck.
I know what you mean about the social thing. I have no idea how to 'go out' and socialise without drink - or drugs. I have never done it. Just doing simple things like a meal with my mom, dad , sister and her husband, and I am a nervous wreck, desperatley trying to look calm and confident. It is horrible, so I empathise. I have never got to AA, just the sheer horror of sitting in a room full of people I don't know; what if the spotlight is put on me....aarghhh, noooooooo!!
Weirdly though, for alot of the time I drank I craved company, knew tons of people, and would always be with someone or other, until I started getting really ill with it and then I seemed to get more and more isolated as people fell away because I was loosing the plot. I ended up with the junkies, tramps and old alcoholic men because with them, anything goes, no need for social etiquette. Even then, I got sicker and ended up completely alone with the bottle of brandy -I guess that's what it wants; it is your only friend once it has completely taken over your life.
I hope you make it through the doors of AA, it will be good for you. Do it now, before you put so many obstacles in your way that you don't do it at all. Good luck.
MissB, Welcome and congratulations on your sobriety! I too, am a Mom in recovery, and am able to "role-model" appropriate behavior (well, most of the tme) to my daughters, my youngest daughter goes to meetings and stays sober one day at a time too...I am so grateful that I am celebrating a sober Mother's Day today (it is my 4th one sober!)...It's 9:02 am on the west coast and if I was still drinking, surely I would've been out of it by mid-day...today it is different thank God. Best of luck to you.
welcome MissB you'll find some good people here - it does get better trust me!!
This time last year I was drunk every day. My 15th wedding anniversary both my H and I were plastered and spent our anniversary weekend drinking, fighting etc.
This year (Friday) we were sober (well my H had one glass of wine) and we had a wonderful day, he sent me a big bunch of flowers, we had a lovely dinner out then home to cuddle on the coach and watch a movie together!!!
What a difference
This time last year I was drunk every day. My 15th wedding anniversary both my H and I were plastered and spent our anniversary weekend drinking, fighting etc.
This year (Friday) we were sober (well my H had one glass of wine) and we had a wonderful day, he sent me a big bunch of flowers, we had a lovely dinner out then home to cuddle on the coach and watch a movie together!!!
What a difference
Good-fer-ya on your sobriety. Now. The good thing about those of us that are trying to stay sober today is that we don't tell you what to do or be. The whole charter is that we help others with our experiences, strenghts, and hopes for a brighter, better tomorrow and try to do the next right thing.
If you're dreadfully frightened about going to a meeting, quietly seek someone who'll go with you--call your local AA chapter(s) 'cause they're EVERYWHERE (we get around) or treatment clinic. They can help provide someone to talk to regarding your fears. Once you go, however, be prepared to have an epiphany of enlightenment and relief--that you are NOT alone and that people from ALL walks of life are there and they don't judge you, pester you, or threaten you. They welcome you.
We really ARE a needy bunch of folks...
:)
Peaceness....
If you're dreadfully frightened about going to a meeting, quietly seek someone who'll go with you--call your local AA chapter(s) 'cause they're EVERYWHERE (we get around) or treatment clinic. They can help provide someone to talk to regarding your fears. Once you go, however, be prepared to have an epiphany of enlightenment and relief--that you are NOT alone and that people from ALL walks of life are there and they don't judge you, pester you, or threaten you. They welcome you.
We really ARE a needy bunch of folks...
:)
Peaceness....
Hi Miss B.
There so many meetings especially if you live near a big city. I don't know if your in the states. My therapist described the meetings to me in a metaphor. There are many different swimming pools they all have different tempertures. So you will find that at meetings as well. If you don't like one try another. Look for the similarties not the differences. You don't have to share if you don't want to. I'm fairly new so I like to listen. After going & listening I feel so much better. I like the bigger meetings probably because I don't feel so afraid. The smaller ones right now feel to intimate for me. I found by going & listening I'm not unique especially regarding how alcohol has extremly bad consequences. I love hearing how people's life's are so much better from giving up the booze. They to only have a daily repreive from the insanity that alcohol produces. There are meetings for young people if you fit into that group. You could call your Area Intergroup office & they could give you some help in locating meetings that might not be so intimidating. In fact I've had them offer to meet me at a meeting, because they remember how frightning it was to walk into a rm of strangers. Perhaps your area has newcomer's meetings. You said your Mom know's of the program maybe she would go with you. I found it was to hard to do this alone,so I made a new surrender. I'm grateful for the rms. of AA where I don't have to be alone, even though I'm scared going. That fear is in my head. Thank God that fear in my head quickly passes in the rms. of AA. Hope to hear from you soon.
There so many meetings especially if you live near a big city. I don't know if your in the states. My therapist described the meetings to me in a metaphor. There are many different swimming pools they all have different tempertures. So you will find that at meetings as well. If you don't like one try another. Look for the similarties not the differences. You don't have to share if you don't want to. I'm fairly new so I like to listen. After going & listening I feel so much better. I like the bigger meetings probably because I don't feel so afraid. The smaller ones right now feel to intimate for me. I found by going & listening I'm not unique especially regarding how alcohol has extremly bad consequences. I love hearing how people's life's are so much better from giving up the booze. They to only have a daily repreive from the insanity that alcohol produces. There are meetings for young people if you fit into that group. You could call your Area Intergroup office & they could give you some help in locating meetings that might not be so intimidating. In fact I've had them offer to meet me at a meeting, because they remember how frightning it was to walk into a rm of strangers. Perhaps your area has newcomer's meetings. You said your Mom know's of the program maybe she would go with you. I found it was to hard to do this alone,so I made a new surrender. I'm grateful for the rms. of AA where I don't have to be alone, even though I'm scared going. That fear is in my head. Thank God that fear in my head quickly passes in the rms. of AA. Hope to hear from you soon.
Gidday Missb
Welcome to the endless hope of recovery and keep posting whats in your head out.
Everyone else in a AA room started with all the fears you have and the first time i went to an AA based centre and meeting i was amazed that it wasnt just me and my madness with alcohol and then i felt an instant sense of belonging.
Yes the fear was still there but that was my addiction screaming in my internal ears that i needed it to cope and find blackout ( my world of choice when drinking). Missb a whole new and exciting world is out there for you in recovery and yes there will be times of fear so get along to meetings and meet people who understand the fear and where it comes from suss out over time the ones you feel comfortable with and get there ph numbers and im sure you will be told that the phones are on the wall 24/7 so ring them if needed.
Would you think about going to a meeting with your Mum until you get comfortable about going and then your Mum can step back and allow you the freedom to share because although she is in recovery i am sure there are things you will want to share that you do not wish her to hear yet, all that gets sorted by sober time.
Missb thankyou for posting as it has given me an extra boost of excitement for today because i know the freedom that awaits you in recovery.
Light and love Zac
Welcome to the endless hope of recovery and keep posting whats in your head out.
Everyone else in a AA room started with all the fears you have and the first time i went to an AA based centre and meeting i was amazed that it wasnt just me and my madness with alcohol and then i felt an instant sense of belonging.
Yes the fear was still there but that was my addiction screaming in my internal ears that i needed it to cope and find blackout ( my world of choice when drinking). Missb a whole new and exciting world is out there for you in recovery and yes there will be times of fear so get along to meetings and meet people who understand the fear and where it comes from suss out over time the ones you feel comfortable with and get there ph numbers and im sure you will be told that the phones are on the wall 24/7 so ring them if needed.
Would you think about going to a meeting with your Mum until you get comfortable about going and then your Mum can step back and allow you the freedom to share because although she is in recovery i am sure there are things you will want to share that you do not wish her to hear yet, all that gets sorted by sober time.
Missb thankyou for posting as it has given me an extra boost of excitement for today because i know the freedom that awaits you in recovery.
Light and love Zac
I went to a meeting sunday, it was great and i'm going to another one today. thank you the welcome. when i'm bored is when my mind is busy. this will help get through those days off when i would sit here and down a couple bottles of wine.
missy
missy
Hi MissB
glad you found the courage to go to a meeting - its such a relief to realise you're not alone isn't it?
Boredom is a killer - you've really got to watch it. I'd say its my biggest downfall when it comes to staying sober. I found I have got involved with some hobbies I used to have an interest in and that helped. I have a hobby now that I can do at home, doesn't cost much and keeps me busy and interested.
Sometimes I have to force myself to get started with it, but once I do I get interested and forget all about drinking. Nowadays I am really enjoying my hobby and quite excited about the time I spend on it.
One day at a time Miss B
Idgie.
glad you found the courage to go to a meeting - its such a relief to realise you're not alone isn't it?
Boredom is a killer - you've really got to watch it. I'd say its my biggest downfall when it comes to staying sober. I found I have got involved with some hobbies I used to have an interest in and that helped. I have a hobby now that I can do at home, doesn't cost much and keeps me busy and interested.
Sometimes I have to force myself to get started with it, but once I do I get interested and forget all about drinking. Nowadays I am really enjoying my hobby and quite excited about the time I spend on it.
One day at a time Miss B
Idgie.
Hi MissB...
Welcome to recovery and finding this website for me, was a god send and by sharing and listening to others who have been in recovery, I am living a life I never dreamed possible...
I look forward to getting to know you better and walk with you in this journey of recovery...thanks for sharing!
Have a blessed day,
Stacey
Welcome to recovery and finding this website for me, was a god send and by sharing and listening to others who have been in recovery, I am living a life I never dreamed possible...
I look forward to getting to know you better and walk with you in this journey of recovery...thanks for sharing!
Have a blessed day,
Stacey
MissB,
Such great news to hear you got to a meeting!
Such great news to hear you got to a meeting!
