81 Days

Nicotine
1
God where does time go. I am 81 days by the grace of god. I am onry, my head is swimmy, I am not sure the point of doing this. But with God leading the way I my life is becomming manageable. Slowly really slowly.

I don't feel that great I can't remember why I quit today or why I would want to. But I have quit.
2
81. I am still here still SMober. I had a great meeting yesterday with the women that I love over Zoom and a few of us stayed after to visit. It was actually nice. It felt a little normal. Im grateful I quit smoking I think it has eased my anxiety and sleeping at night because of the medication that I am taking (Clonidine) its blood pressure medicine but it works so non narcotic and the first thing in my very insomniatic life that has ever helped me. I feel pretty fortunate. I remember days and weeks without sleeping and battling that with my alcoholism was insane. It was very hard some days. I haven't run at all this week it turned cold here again. I am going for a run tomorrow with a couple of women. We will social distance and its outdoors so I am pretty sure its safe everyone in Utah is still doing stuff outdoors. Its what has kept me sane. My life really isn't very different. I work and come home. I run. I go to meetings. Its been pretty stable.
Im content today. Grateful to be where I am mentally, physically, & spiritually. Could use a sponsor. So I have been asking God. So now I wait.
Love,
Jane