It's only been 9 hours since I took my last pill, and I already feel like i'm going crazy.
It's 5:30am. I haven't slept yet. My stomach is cramping, my back hurts, my legs and arms aches soooooooo bad.
I honestly don't know how i'm going to be able to do this.
Only 9 hours, and i feel like this. What's it going to be like 9 hours from now and 9 hours from then.
I probablly sound like a real p*ssy, but right now I have to admit, I think I am.
I'm scared to death. Everybody in the house is asleep and i'm not waking my 16 year old daughter up to tell her i'm freaking out because I feel this way.
I AM SO SCARED. I've cried of and on for the past 2 hours, I prayed, but wonder if God can hear me.
Somebody help me. What do I do? How do the rest of you do it? Are you just stronger than me, or what?
I need your support now more than ever. You know there's been alot of times I said I hated my ex-husband (the one who overdosed and died) but right now I'd give anything if he were here to help me through this. He know what to do. This is one time I wish he would hold me in his arms and say, "Susan, it's gonna be ok, I promise." I miss him so much, right now.
I'm sorry guys, I don't mean to be a baby. I'm just more scared right now than I have ever been in my whole life.
Thanks for your support, and please keep praying.
God Bless!
My Love To You, Susan
Susan-You're going to be o.k.Unfortunately the worst of the w/d's will not hit until about the second day.It's going to get bad.I would be lying if I said it wasn't.
Keep writing on here as much as you can.I would really let someone know what you're going through so you can get some support.
You're luck to have some people around in case you need them.
I did it at home alone and it would have been great to have had someone there.
Start drinking water too.You're going to get de-hydrated.Pray.Pray.Pray.God has never abandonded you.Don't think you are whining either.this is part of the process.I cold turkeyed off about 400 mg. of oxycontin.You can do this.
Hang in there.It's early so it's slow until about 9:00 but others will be on here.
Keep writing on here as much as you can.I would really let someone know what you're going through so you can get some support.
You're luck to have some people around in case you need them.
I did it at home alone and it would have been great to have had someone there.
Start drinking water too.You're going to get de-hydrated.Pray.Pray.Pray.God has never abandonded you.Don't think you are whining either.this is part of the process.I cold turkeyed off about 400 mg. of oxycontin.You can do this.
Hang in there.It's early so it's slow until about 9:00 but others will be on here.
A20,
I'm sorry, I've got to get the kids ready for school. So, quickly:
Didn't the hospital say to come back if you couldn't stand it anymore? If you can't do this alone, go back to detox and demand to be admitted. You'd already made that time-commitment anyway.
Hang in there,
Gina
I'm sorry, I've got to get the kids ready for school. So, quickly:
Didn't the hospital say to come back if you couldn't stand it anymore? If you can't do this alone, go back to detox and demand to be admitted. You'd already made that time-commitment anyway.
Hang in there,
Gina
Susan, I will tell you it is gonna be o.k. and it will. You have got to just hang in there. You can do this. Shantel
Like Tim I went c/t at home from oxys. It's not gonna be easy but it can be done. Try and focus on something else take a bath, watch a movie do anything. I don't remember much about my w/d it was a big blurr to me. The one thing I do remember is laying in bed trying to sleep it off. I had no energy to even move. Before you know it the day will be over and you can say you made it through day 1 and feel proud of what you accomplished. Shantel
The good news is, if you do it right, you only have to do this once. Just take care of yourself, let the world go as much as you can and focus on getting through this. Are you still going to treatment next week? You won't have to be alone in this forever, and it's awesome you have a plan to get you started getting off the pills. I am praying for you, you can do this! I know it seems like God has forgotten about you right now, but I won't forget to keep asking for strength for you, and then eventually that strength will shine through the pain, more and more. Take care of yourself.
| QUOTE |
| If you can't do this alone, go back to detox and demand to be admitted. You'd already made that time-commitment anyway. |
Exactly.That's a great option to have in your back pocket.See if you can do it at home first.If things get overwhelming,just go back.
During W/D's you will go up and down though.Don't get discouraged when you go down.
The wiring mechanism in the brain is short circuiting and sending signals to the body that it's literally dying.IT'S NOT. This is why you are panicking and having physical symptoms.They are not life threatning.
This is why I think it would be important to let someone know what's going on in your household so they can watch you and give you some support.
Susan:
Hour by hour if that is the best you can do. You will make it through this...listen to the others, they know and will be there for you.
I detoxed cold turkey at home also, and it isn't pretty no matter where you are. Just nest up...get some over the counter meds to help with the stomach stuff and drink lots and lots of whatever...for me it was green tea.
I cannot be around today, but someone is always here. I will send an angel your way each and every time I think about you today.
You are doing such an incredible thing and once this is behind you, no one can ever take it away from you.
God Bless,
Sarah
Hour by hour if that is the best you can do. You will make it through this...listen to the others, they know and will be there for you.
I detoxed cold turkey at home also, and it isn't pretty no matter where you are. Just nest up...get some over the counter meds to help with the stomach stuff and drink lots and lots of whatever...for me it was green tea.
I cannot be around today, but someone is always here. I will send an angel your way each and every time I think about you today.
You are doing such an incredible thing and once this is behind you, no one can ever take it away from you.
God Bless,
Sarah
The good news is, if you do it right, you only have to do this once.
Great advice here, Susan. You might want to keep that in the back of your head this week. You will NEVER have to feel like this again. You're going to be ok, honey. Just go through it. We're all here with you.
xx
Great advice here, Susan. You might want to keep that in the back of your head this week. You will NEVER have to feel like this again. You're going to be ok, honey. Just go through it. We're all here with you.
xx
is oxy an opiate? cuz if it is she could be spared this suffering with suboxone. i did detox twice, the first time i did it was just like you are doing now susan and it was so bad it keeps me from picking up again.
the second time, i know i talk about sub all the time on this forum, but it spared me the worst beating of my life, and while in rehab they kept me comfortable with valium and clonidine.
i feel for you right now susan, i and others are praying for you. jewels/julie
She hasn't wrote back yet hopefully she busy with her family or got some much needed sleep. Shantel
Jewels-Good advise but if she could do it without getting on Sub,this would be the last withdrawl she would have to face.You eventually have to get off Sub and that's no walk in the park.It's still a powerful opiate.
I think if you can tough it out for a few days,you're home free.Many have done it cold turkey so it can be done.
Everybody here is behind you 100%.
I think if you can tough it out for a few days,you're home free.Many have done it cold turkey so it can be done.
Everybody here is behind you 100%.
Tim, I have read a few post from people about the hell they went through coming off Sub. If that is the case why go on Sub? I'm not sure I understand the logic in all of it. Shantel
Good question, Shantel. It's such a new drug, I wonder about the long-term effects of long-term use of sub. But some people really can't get off the other drugs any other way, it seems, so this may be the best option. But it shouldn't be the first option, IMO.
Susan,
A couple of things that helped me through w/ds.
Lots of hot baths with epsom salts to draw out toxins and ease body aches. I took the boys' Gameboy and played Final Fantasy for hours in the tub.
The following technique helped me get past the moments when I thought I was going to fly apart at the seams.
Square breathing.
Normal breathing is parallel - one breath in followed by one breath out. Anxiety and nervousness cause you to increase the rate of breathing, bringing more oxygen into your bloodstream and adding to the body's automatic flight or fight response. Try square breathing to slow down your rate, to reduce oxygen in your bloodstream and to calm yourself:
Take one breath in to the count of four.
Hold it for a count of four.
Exhale to the count of four.
Hold for a count of four.
Repeat. This last step is very important, lol.
Be proud of yourself for every twenty minute segment you get through without picking up. Early on, I couldn't conceive of one day at a time, but blocks of quarter-hours seemed manageable.
Hang in there. I'm thinking about you.
Love,
Gina
Susan,
A couple of things that helped me through w/ds.
Lots of hot baths with epsom salts to draw out toxins and ease body aches. I took the boys' Gameboy and played Final Fantasy for hours in the tub.
The following technique helped me get past the moments when I thought I was going to fly apart at the seams.
Square breathing.
Normal breathing is parallel - one breath in followed by one breath out. Anxiety and nervousness cause you to increase the rate of breathing, bringing more oxygen into your bloodstream and adding to the body's automatic flight or fight response. Try square breathing to slow down your rate, to reduce oxygen in your bloodstream and to calm yourself:
Take one breath in to the count of four.
Hold it for a count of four.
Exhale to the count of four.
Hold for a count of four.
Repeat. This last step is very important, lol.
Be proud of yourself for every twenty minute segment you get through without picking up. Early on, I couldn't conceive of one day at a time, but blocks of quarter-hours seemed manageable.
Hang in there. I'm thinking about you.
Love,
Gina
IMHO, some people have a hard time when they get off of sub because they dropped at a high dose or they didn't taper right. I have been on sub since sept. 7th. I started at 8 mg. and I just dropped down to 6mg. My insurance will only pay for sub for 1 year, so I am trying to do a slow taper and I haven't really had any problems.
However I think that if you can do it cold turkey then that is great. I tried and kept relapsing which I why I went on sub and started counseling. Hopefully I can do it this time. I feel that sub is good for chronic relapsers, people who try and try to get clean, but can't stay clean.
Good luck A2O, I know how you feel, but it does get better. Just give it time, Take it one hour or one minute at a time if you have too. Did you cut off all your sources? That is a big step that will help you stay clean. It is very important to do this. I will keep you in my prayers.
Oh and I wanted to add that you are going to feel very emotional for a while. I remember when I was in Wd's and I cried and cried and thought about my past and people that I hurt and felt guilty for it.
However I think that if you can do it cold turkey then that is great. I tried and kept relapsing which I why I went on sub and started counseling. Hopefully I can do it this time. I feel that sub is good for chronic relapsers, people who try and try to get clean, but can't stay clean.
Good luck A2O, I know how you feel, but it does get better. Just give it time, Take it one hour or one minute at a time if you have too. Did you cut off all your sources? That is a big step that will help you stay clean. It is very important to do this. I will keep you in my prayers.
Oh and I wanted to add that you are going to feel very emotional for a while. I remember when I was in Wd's and I cried and cried and thought about my past and people that I hurt and felt guilty for it.
I went inpatient for a month to detox from Sub!!!!
I really wish that Sub was not suggested to so many when there are others ways that should be tried first. IMO Sub should NEVER be used for a first or second try at detox. Especially from lower doses of opiates.
There was a time that I thought Sub was wonderful ..... but at the end I found myself continuing to take it cause I did not want to go thru w/d's and I also was using it as a sort of crutch ..... sometimes thinking that I was not abusing pills cause of the Sub. (My warped thinking ..... LOL)
Today I think that if I would have gone to meetings, got a sponsor and started working the steps from the very beginning, I could have done a short detox with Sub and not stayed on it so long or possibly have done it without the Sub at all if I would have gone to inpatient detox again when I relapsed. I was using a HUGE amount of oxy .... enough to kill most people several times .... so I won't kid myself and think that I might have been able to detox at home ..... but I could have done it without the long-term Sub ..... I am still feeling the effects of my Sub detox ..... wishing for higher energy levels to return this century ....
I slept about an hour, back up crying again. just feeling a little crazy right now.
I'm right there with you. Sometimes it feels like you're the only one crying in the world....especially in the middle of the night. I'm praying for you.
Sometimes when I don't feel like I'll ever be happy again I try to think back at the times that I felt a genuine sense of joy (before pills). I remember certain times and realize that I'll have them again. And will appreciate them more knowing now how precious they are. You'll have happiness again...unassisted happiness. This is my second time around with pills. I remember the happy times I had before my relapse and they were SO wonderful.
xoxo
xoxo
A2O, Please, don't think you are crazy. We have all been there. I understand why you think that, but you aren't. This will be a very emotional time. All of the emotions you have kept numbed for so long with the Oxys, are going to try to come out all at once. It's enough to make you crazy, if you let it! LOL
The hot baths and long walks are a great idea. That is basically what got me through my at home detox from 20 norcos a day. It took me about 7 days to feel like I even slightly wanted to be alive, so hang on, you've got a few more days. I also spent a lot of time just talking to God. My faith had never been such a comfort as duing that week of withdrawal
If you can grasp the notion that there is a beautiful life waiting for you at the end of the week unlike the life you've been leading, you will make it. Look to the clean days ahead, and the chance of repairing all of the damage you have done while using. Anything you can do to get out of your own head right now will help the minutes pass less painfully.
Posting here is one great way to pass the time. There are so many here who have been where you are, and want to help you! Good luck!
