Been checking in on this site for a few months, ever since finding out a young friend of mine has been using heroin.
She's only 17 and, been using for over 6 months now, started living with her 30 year old boyfriend/addict (which is how I think this started), then quit school and is rapidly heading way off track.
She has just recently moved home again and the bf was supposed to be moving but at the moment he's camping close to her home (camping=homeless) and they haven't managed to break the ties. It's become increasingly difficult to just watch this beautiful, bright girl waste away.
She confided in me about the heroin use and I've let her stay with me off and on when she's tried to get off it... but time and time again she's gone back thinking she can help him.... meanwhile they just seem to enable each other. Familiar story eh?
What I'd like to know is whether I respect her confidence and not let her folks know. We're also friends and they know a certain amount of the bfs history... and are certainly not impressed and I'm sure they have their suspitions regarding their daughter. Just worried that if I betray her confidence, as much as I feel it maybe for the right reasons, she may bolt with the boyfriend. I'd also like her to feel that if things get really nasty she has a safe place to go and someone she can trust.
This message board offers a lot of insight and I'm hoping someone can help
thanks
Hi HodgePodge,
I have been on the other end of a similar scenario. A few months ago my ex-boyfriend took it upon himself to tell my father about my drug use (mostly coke). He did this without consulting with me. The situation is somewhat different because a) my relationship with my ex was not good at the time and b)I am an adult (23) and your friend is a minor.
Nevertheless, I don't think you should approach your friend's parents without first talking to her and telling her your intentions. Although it may seem like she needs their help, it may be useless she really wants it. For me, this caused much more stress then it did good. It send my dad into a panic and there was little he could do for me.
I think your intentions are good, but i really think you need to let her make her own choices about who can help her. Having someone make this kind of choice for you can feel really disempowering and awful.
v
I have been on the other end of a similar scenario. A few months ago my ex-boyfriend took it upon himself to tell my father about my drug use (mostly coke). He did this without consulting with me. The situation is somewhat different because a) my relationship with my ex was not good at the time and b)I am an adult (23) and your friend is a minor.
Nevertheless, I don't think you should approach your friend's parents without first talking to her and telling her your intentions. Although it may seem like she needs their help, it may be useless she really wants it. For me, this caused much more stress then it did good. It send my dad into a panic and there was little he could do for me.
I think your intentions are good, but i really think you need to let her make her own choices about who can help her. Having someone make this kind of choice for you can feel really disempowering and awful.
v
Hey there,
that's been pretty much what I've been thinking. Just kind of torn if god forbid something happens to her and they didn't know. But also feeling that them knowing does not prevent anything from happening or not and may just make a bad situation way worse.
So thanks for the view point... hard trying to look at both sides of the fence.
that's been pretty much what I've been thinking. Just kind of torn if god forbid something happens to her and they didn't know. But also feeling that them knowing does not prevent anything from happening or not and may just make a bad situation way worse.
So thanks for the view point... hard trying to look at both sides of the fence.
