I learned something very important..
I have a very close friend to me and we were talking last night... he and I have been friends for a while and his wife whom he lost a few months ago was a former addict so he knows quite abit a bout addictions and recovery ... but... he told me that he could see me slipping into relapse mode for at least 5 months now... we were talking about the holidays my isolating and all.... I have been thinking about that and he is sooo right...
If you all remember about the really close call i had with the methscaline and my former sponsor and that stuff.. I have also been experiencing more intense cravings and they are coming closer together... this is all a recipe for disaster.. I havent really been thinking enough time to examine that... but Thank God I have someone in my life ( well more than one) to point this stuff out to me and that i am in a mental place to listen .... I wish all that for you .... It is scarey and I dont like hearing it.. I at first wanted to deny it or see it as a personal failure but he quickly reminded me of the fact that this is a powerful enemy and the first three steps of NA.... soo..
with that I will stop... just wanted to share that no matter how much clean time you have or how strong you think your program is... you have to ever be vigilent and surround yourself with people that can help you and know what to look out for... he said that he was just waiting for me to get a little closer to the stove so to speak... lol... he is a very wise man...
Thanks...
Teresa
teresa,
i am so glad you have people like that, you know ones who will let you know what you need to hear no matter what. i wish i had someone like that. most of my friends are from church and thats o.k. but it is a recipe for a judgemental attitude and that is why i stay on here. most of them will be judging thinking i am a failure and honestly most times i believe it. i would give anything to have close friends i could tell things to and not have them look down at me. i have trouble 'cause me and my wife both are in this boat together. you would think we could conquer this thing together but it is like IT is twice as strong. please pray for me as i endure the hardest thing i have ever tried, and that is to come completely clean and not go back to this hell for anything. i am really glad you are on this board to keep us straight. hang in there
in Christ's service
johnny
i am so glad you have people like that, you know ones who will let you know what you need to hear no matter what. i wish i had someone like that. most of my friends are from church and thats o.k. but it is a recipe for a judgemental attitude and that is why i stay on here. most of them will be judging thinking i am a failure and honestly most times i believe it. i would give anything to have close friends i could tell things to and not have them look down at me. i have trouble 'cause me and my wife both are in this boat together. you would think we could conquer this thing together but it is like IT is twice as strong. please pray for me as i endure the hardest thing i have ever tried, and that is to come completely clean and not go back to this hell for anything. i am really glad you are on this board to keep us straight. hang in there
in Christ's service
johnny
atoz..
you made me cry... thank you ... you are a kind man and you diserve the very best that life has for you....
of course I will make a special prayer for you... I believe in you, Johnny. The human heart is stronger that the pills if we fill it with the right tools and love.... Honesty is one of those tools... forgiveness and compassion... Just as you need to have people to help you build your house of recovery you must try to limit your access to thing that would tear it down... people that would judge you and people that would take you back to using or anyother thing that might not be supportive.... I hope you can find a support system other than your wife that you can confide in and lean on in the days ahead... not to shut her out but it is important for a couple of reasons....
I am fortunate but it hasnt always been that way... we all need each other here on the board and recovering addict everywhere..
I will be thinking of you..
God Bless you...Teresa
you made me cry... thank you ... you are a kind man and you diserve the very best that life has for you....
of course I will make a special prayer for you... I believe in you, Johnny. The human heart is stronger that the pills if we fill it with the right tools and love.... Honesty is one of those tools... forgiveness and compassion... Just as you need to have people to help you build your house of recovery you must try to limit your access to thing that would tear it down... people that would judge you and people that would take you back to using or anyother thing that might not be supportive.... I hope you can find a support system other than your wife that you can confide in and lean on in the days ahead... not to shut her out but it is important for a couple of reasons....
I am fortunate but it hasnt always been that way... we all need each other here on the board and recovering addict everywhere..
I will be thinking of you..
God Bless you...Teresa
Johnny,
You know how I feel about this.........I feel that you and everyone else on here can and will become free one day. I wish you would believe in yourself just alittle, know that I believe and have faith in you, so does the hubby......Have some for yourself.....
Miracles tend to jump out of nowhere.....try not to miss yours when it comes.
Love Yah,
Tina
Teresa,
Saw your mom was sick, been doing that dance for a few months, finally mine is better. I will pray for a speedy recovery for yours.
Don't forget to take care of you.
Tina
You know how I feel about this.........I feel that you and everyone else on here can and will become free one day. I wish you would believe in yourself just alittle, know that I believe and have faith in you, so does the hubby......Have some for yourself.....
Miracles tend to jump out of nowhere.....try not to miss yours when it comes.
Love Yah,
Tina
Teresa,
Saw your mom was sick, been doing that dance for a few months, finally mine is better. I will pray for a speedy recovery for yours.
Don't forget to take care of you.
Tina
Teresa,
I feel for you and totally understand what you are saying. I myself am going thru some pretty tough times now and the cravings have been terrible. I find myself trying to isolate and wanting to numb myself from the pain. Hopefully we can get thru this, we have wonderful friends who are there to help us if we only reach out to them. Remember, Teresa, just how much you are loved.
God bless,
I feel for you and totally understand what you are saying. I myself am going thru some pretty tough times now and the cravings have been terrible. I find myself trying to isolate and wanting to numb myself from the pain. Hopefully we can get thru this, we have wonderful friends who are there to help us if we only reach out to them. Remember, Teresa, just how much you are loved.
God bless,
Teresa & Sharon,
I love you both and I know these last weeks have been hard on you both. I feel helpless because there is only so much a person can offer in an online friendship. Even the phone doesn't do justice. It's not like I can pull up outside and say comon' lets hit a meeting or go grab some coffe and talk. I do however,
keep you both in my prayers and chat as often as possible. But since I know you both are involved with face to face recovery as well, the best thing you can do is hit a meeting and get that hand up. For me, I have a bad habit of when asked how I'm doing I always say, good. Saying good is not going to give our fellow addicts a chance to try and help us. I hate when I have to say things suck at a meeting, but I always feel better when I do. Don't minimize your problems, I love you both and just wanted to say hi. Talk to ya's later,
Take care................................God bless.......................................Bob
I love you both and I know these last weeks have been hard on you both. I feel helpless because there is only so much a person can offer in an online friendship. Even the phone doesn't do justice. It's not like I can pull up outside and say comon' lets hit a meeting or go grab some coffe and talk. I do however,
keep you both in my prayers and chat as often as possible. But since I know you both are involved with face to face recovery as well, the best thing you can do is hit a meeting and get that hand up. For me, I have a bad habit of when asked how I'm doing I always say, good. Saying good is not going to give our fellow addicts a chance to try and help us. I hate when I have to say things suck at a meeting, but I always feel better when I do. Don't minimize your problems, I love you both and just wanted to say hi. Talk to ya's later,
Take care................................God bless.......................................Bob
Teresa..part of recovery is giving it over. Giving it up. Giving it to someone or something that is bigger than you.
I know how you felt about the holidays and I wish I lived closer so that I could be there for you. I do know how strong you are though and how badly you want this freedom from your own personal hell that you were in. Every day will seem a bit brighter so hang in there and keep talking, it's something you do so well.
Sharon... any time, any where. I'm here.
I love you girl.
Cowgirl
I know how you felt about the holidays and I wish I lived closer so that I could be there for you. I do know how strong you are though and how badly you want this freedom from your own personal hell that you were in. Every day will seem a bit brighter so hang in there and keep talking, it's something you do so well.
Sharon... any time, any where. I'm here.
I love you girl.
Cowgirl
Sharon.
I am aware on your current difficulty to put it mildly and I can only say that I am praying sooo hard for you as that is the only thing that I can do other than to say that you know I am here for you day or night.... we are both very strong characters but people need people and we have a tendency to forget that when we are soo busy helping others...
to all... bob, cowgirl, kat. gina, ext....
thank you all for your support and love it means alot ... I will be fine ... this is life on lifes terms and while it is not easy.. it is what it is and we just have to muddle through some how... thanks for your words and just knowing that you all are here (there..lol ) means soo much.. I am one lucky chick to have you all there and my NA friends and other friends here to help me if only I could let them ....
thanks.... Teresa
I am aware on your current difficulty to put it mildly and I can only say that I am praying sooo hard for you as that is the only thing that I can do other than to say that you know I am here for you day or night.... we are both very strong characters but people need people and we have a tendency to forget that when we are soo busy helping others...
to all... bob, cowgirl, kat. gina, ext....
thank you all for your support and love it means alot ... I will be fine ... this is life on lifes terms and while it is not easy.. it is what it is and we just have to muddle through some how... thanks for your words and just knowing that you all are here (there..lol ) means soo much.. I am one lucky chick to have you all there and my NA friends and other friends here to help me if only I could let them ....
thanks.... Teresa
