I just looked up an AA program here where I live and there's a meeting for newcomers at 11am my time.
I'm nervous because I don't know the protocal. Do I just show up and sit down? Do I sign in? Do I have to call and make a reservation? Will they be pissed if they find out that I'm not an alcoholic (but a drug addict...God, I hate that word).
Please respond ASAP
Danni,
How you doing ? Just go to the AA meeting and take a seat. No need to sign in, no need to talk...sometimes listening is all I do. As far as AA folks not likeing us drug addicts ( I dont hate the word, I respect it )..its not about them, its about you--and what works for you..so go, listen, learn and stay clean !!!
How you doing ? Just go to the AA meeting and take a seat. No need to sign in, no need to talk...sometimes listening is all I do. As far as AA folks not likeing us drug addicts ( I dont hate the word, I respect it )..its not about them, its about you--and what works for you..so go, listen, learn and stay clean !!!
No reservation necessary -- just show up, sit down, and have a listen. The only requirement for membership in AA is a desire to stop drinking. It's free, and it hasn't hurt anybody yet to my knowledge (!). Good for you Danielle -- the first one can be a little scary, I know, but you're doing right. M.
Danni,
I go to A/A all the time - I just say "hi, Im Marie and I'm an alcoholic" - alcohol is a drug anyway and I found that most of the people there were "dually" addicted. You dont have to talk if you dont want to, sometimes I just introduce myself and say "I'm happy to be here and I'd rather just listen tonight" - Nobody cares - believe me there are alot of people there just as nervous as you are, so dont feel so alone. Relax..............you'll do just fine..............you seem to be the "outgoing" type anyway, so I'm sure you'll fit right in:o) Hope you have a great day.
LOve,
Marie
I go to A/A all the time - I just say "hi, Im Marie and I'm an alcoholic" - alcohol is a drug anyway and I found that most of the people there were "dually" addicted. You dont have to talk if you dont want to, sometimes I just introduce myself and say "I'm happy to be here and I'd rather just listen tonight" - Nobody cares - believe me there are alot of people there just as nervous as you are, so dont feel so alone. Relax..............you'll do just fine..............you seem to be the "outgoing" type anyway, so I'm sure you'll fit right in:o) Hope you have a great day.
LOve,
Marie
danni -
the only reservations that should be addressed are the ones your dis-ease would have you make!
you go girl and no need to say a word, if you feel inclined not too.
please come back and let us know what you thought. i'm so proud of you.
hugs -
sammy
the only reservations that should be addressed are the ones your dis-ease would have you make!
you go girl and no need to say a word, if you feel inclined not too.
please come back and let us know what you thought. i'm so proud of you.
hugs -
sammy
Marie, that's funny..... Yeah, I'm the one person who's probably not scared of having to talk in front of everyone.... LOL
I guess it's because I hid this from EVERYONE for the last 2 1/2 years.... Even people I would buy them from or doctors that I knew personally that wrote them for me "just because", I made up an excuse as to why I was taking them. I could never admit to ANYONE that I had a problem, EVER. But this board has helped me come clean about all of that and talk about everything and I've found that talking about it helps me :
(a) seem more normal
(b) be honest with MYSELF
There's so many lies and sneaking around associated with this, so being able to talk about it and bring it in the open has been such a huge relief.
None, wish you lived in this area so that you could go with me..... I hate the idea of going alone (my husband thinks since we are going to couples counseling, he shouldn't go to this, too... he thinks I need something on my own where I can open up and it can be about "me" not about "us")
I guess it's because I hid this from EVERYONE for the last 2 1/2 years.... Even people I would buy them from or doctors that I knew personally that wrote them for me "just because", I made up an excuse as to why I was taking them. I could never admit to ANYONE that I had a problem, EVER. But this board has helped me come clean about all of that and talk about everything and I've found that talking about it helps me :
(a) seem more normal
(b) be honest with MYSELF
There's so many lies and sneaking around associated with this, so being able to talk about it and bring it in the open has been such a huge relief.
None, wish you lived in this area so that you could go with me..... I hate the idea of going alone (my husband thinks since we are going to couples counseling, he shouldn't go to this, too... he thinks I need something on my own where I can open up and it can be about "me" not about "us")
Danielle, if you're still there, it's a shame someone else on this Board doesn't live near you or I bet they would take you in a heartbeat. For what it's worth, I went to my first AA meeting alone, listened, and left feeling really relieved. If you have to introduce yourself at all (not always the case), you can just say your first name and that this is your first meeting -- everyone will understand! M.
Danielle....I remember my very first AA meeting like it was yesterday. My sisters took me there (or I would never have gone alone) and I remember sitting off in a corner with one sister on each side holding my hand...and just being a melted, weepy, scared, shaky shadow of myself. Everyone was just wonderful..no one made me do or say anything. Eventually, I ended up chairing a couple of meetings! I have been sober (from alcohol) for over 2 and a half years now. I was never once able to share...and some days the people would joke with me and say "maybe today is the day you can share", but it never happened...even so, it was great going to meetings and just listening. You can do this...even alone....peace.
Danielle, I am very proud of you! I know you'll do fine, and I understand how you're feeling.
I have been to a couple of NA meetings, year and half ago when I was starting to realize that I needed to get a handle on things. Went to 2, but never went back because I didn't quit using at the time. (This was in another town, 25 miles away.)
I know I need to do what you are doing but am having a hard time getting myself there. Here's the thing........maybe someone here can help me "overcome" this.........I live in a rural area, about 10 miles from our "hometown" .pop.15,000-18,000. That sounds like a lot of people, but really it's not. Everybody know everybody and all their business. I have heard they have great meeings there everyday at noon. But I am so worried about running in to people I know, that I won't go.
I know I should get over it. If they are there, obviously.......duh! But still! I need to get over the shame and not worry what people think about me, I know that. But the other side of my brain keeps reminding me I have a nine year old son to raise here and will be running into the "town crowd" for many years to come.
How do I get past my hang-ups?
Good luck today! My thoughts will be with you.
Dannile thats great I go yo womens meeting and there nice im having little trouble people keep on asking why I dress the way I do .. long stroy but thats not to bad so thats great my sweete your making a great step love poopie im rite behind you dear
Go Danielle,
when i went to aa meetings i didn't have to say a word except when they went around the room and you introduced your name. in the meetings i attended there were alcoholics and also drug addicts.
let us know how it goes! we are all pulling for ya.
PM
when i went to aa meetings i didn't have to say a word except when they went around the room and you introduced your name. in the meetings i attended there were alcoholics and also drug addicts.
let us know how it goes! we are all pulling for ya.
PM
I would first like to congrajulate you on your discion to go , You might also want to look up NA meetings if your problem is drugs. In Miami most all AA meeting I felt comfortable in as a drug addict as there most are dual addicted and you could share openly. In the small town Im in now the NA program IMHO stinks. Ive tried aa where there are addicts who have ecellent recovery but I personnaly find that I sont feel the support and even tho in ones mind you can substitue the word drink for drug I have trouble as Ive never had a drinking problem ( Yes I know addiction is addiction) but and I dont have a problem saying Im an alcololic but again On a deep level as most of theses people are much older than myself I dont feel If I really needed them I would get the support. Im sure in your area its better as In NY California miami most meeting dont care and most poeple my age and younger 40 yrs are or were dual addicted. Best wishes Just go and see how you feel and give it some time Ray
Oneill, where have you been???
Thanks for the support everyone..... The hardest part for me was walking in that door. I asked my husband not to go because he's never had a problem with drugs or alcohol and he's always been the type to think "Just quit." I know he would roll his eyes listening to some of the stories and I wanted to be able to get a lot out of it w/o feeling uncomfortable.
I pulled into the parking lot and almost chickened out, but then I called my husband and he talked to me on the phone as I walked inside. I did it.
A few months ago, I could have NEVER spoke at one of those meetings.... Even now, a part of me was looking around thinking "I don't belong here."
But after being on this site for 3 months and opening up with you guys, it was easy to talk today.... Even though it was my first AA meeting, I have shared this story so much with all of you so I didn't feel like a nervous newcomer. I just told everyone I was an addict (boy, saying that word is sooo hard) and talked about the shame in hurting my husband with this.... How hard it must be on him b/c he does everything from hide my pills, help me taper, threaten me w/divorce, cry... he does everything to get me to stop and it's wearing him down.
A young guy sat next to me in the beginning and talked to me.... he was real nice...but I remembered what all of you said about finding a female to help me with this and I've just begun admitting my problems with using men, so when it was over I walked up to the closest female and got HER phone number and asked HER for advice (my husband was glad about that one).
Even though I'm not sober, I WANT to be.... I'm going to try to go to these meetings at least 5 times a week... I just wish one of you lived close by because I think I'd do a lot better with a partner to go through this with me....
I couldn't do this without y'all.... Thanks so much!
Thanks for the support everyone..... The hardest part for me was walking in that door. I asked my husband not to go because he's never had a problem with drugs or alcohol and he's always been the type to think "Just quit." I know he would roll his eyes listening to some of the stories and I wanted to be able to get a lot out of it w/o feeling uncomfortable.
I pulled into the parking lot and almost chickened out, but then I called my husband and he talked to me on the phone as I walked inside. I did it.
A few months ago, I could have NEVER spoke at one of those meetings.... Even now, a part of me was looking around thinking "I don't belong here."
But after being on this site for 3 months and opening up with you guys, it was easy to talk today.... Even though it was my first AA meeting, I have shared this story so much with all of you so I didn't feel like a nervous newcomer. I just told everyone I was an addict (boy, saying that word is sooo hard) and talked about the shame in hurting my husband with this.... How hard it must be on him b/c he does everything from hide my pills, help me taper, threaten me w/divorce, cry... he does everything to get me to stop and it's wearing him down.
A young guy sat next to me in the beginning and talked to me.... he was real nice...but I remembered what all of you said about finding a female to help me with this and I've just begun admitting my problems with using men, so when it was over I walked up to the closest female and got HER phone number and asked HER for advice (my husband was glad about that one).
Even though I'm not sober, I WANT to be.... I'm going to try to go to these meetings at least 5 times a week... I just wish one of you lived close by because I think I'd do a lot better with a partner to go through this with me....
I couldn't do this without y'all.... Thanks so much!
I would go with you in a heartbeat. I just dont think that we are close enough.
I wonder if any of us realy know anyone eles from here and just dont know it yet.
Maybe we have passed by on the street , or maybe we have gone to one of the same partys??
We just seem to know each other oh, so , well!!!
Love Ya All, Your Friend, Christina
P.S. By the way....Great job in the meeting. Im glad you have the courage to do that.You give me the courage and i just might think now about doing it myself. Thanks for opening my eyes!!
I wonder if any of us realy know anyone eles from here and just dont know it yet.
Maybe we have passed by on the street , or maybe we have gone to one of the same partys??
We just seem to know each other oh, so , well!!!
Love Ya All, Your Friend, Christina
P.S. By the way....Great job in the meeting. Im glad you have the courage to do that.You give me the courage and i just might think now about doing it myself. Thanks for opening my eyes!!
Danni,
I am here--I spend alot of time lurking--and reading, I am on a 90/90 meeting schedule--and I hit AA meetings about 75% of the time. With gods help and me making the right choices I will hit the 90 day mark on the 21st. I can not believe how quick the time has passed.
I am doing well--seeing the world with a new set of eyes--and a new way of thinking. It has been very interesting for me, this journey--but I am starting to understand and see why I am on it. I have alot of shame about my past, but for some reason it has found a place in me, and dosnt hinder my recovery.
I am glad to see ( or read ) that your doing what you need to...I have always enjoyed your post--and insite to issues...keep us posted on how your doing.
Like I said, I may not post often, but I read almost everything.
Have a great Holiday Season !!!
I am here--I spend alot of time lurking--and reading, I am on a 90/90 meeting schedule--and I hit AA meetings about 75% of the time. With gods help and me making the right choices I will hit the 90 day mark on the 21st. I can not believe how quick the time has passed.
I am doing well--seeing the world with a new set of eyes--and a new way of thinking. It has been very interesting for me, this journey--but I am starting to understand and see why I am on it. I have alot of shame about my past, but for some reason it has found a place in me, and dosnt hinder my recovery.
I am glad to see ( or read ) that your doing what you need to...I have always enjoyed your post--and insite to issues...keep us posted on how your doing.
Like I said, I may not post often, but I read almost everything.
Have a great Holiday Season !!!
Danielle, I like AA way more than NA/PA. Everybody seems to be more tolerant and if you don't want to speak, you don't have to. They might ask your name and stuff but AA was a GODSEND..it really works..lot's of very understanding people..they realize an addiction is an addiction....don't sweat it..you'll be fine
Oneill, I've followed your story since the first day you were on here.... I got clean about a week before you so I was going through what you were going through about the same time.
Of course, you stayed sober and I did not.... but I am soooo proud of you. I know how hard it was for you and I'm really proud that you stayed clean. Congratulations.
I've already taken my pills twice today (the taper I put myself down on), so that's it for me until tomorrow..... I'm sure I'll be on here miserable about that, but I meant it when I said that I'm going to get serious with all of this. The meeting today helped me realize how much I want to get clean.
Of course, you stayed sober and I did not.... but I am soooo proud of you. I know how hard it was for you and I'm really proud that you stayed clean. Congratulations.
I've already taken my pills twice today (the taper I put myself down on), so that's it for me until tomorrow..... I'm sure I'll be on here miserable about that, but I meant it when I said that I'm going to get serious with all of this. The meeting today helped me realize how much I want to get clean.
Danni,
You know its not about me being sober and you not--its about trying--and you are, so you have my respect--it is not easy. I really try to stay just in the day, so I always say to myself--I only have today. And it is so true.
Just keep trying--and keep your heart and mind open, and listen. I am going to add this, it might be hard to swallow for some, and there was a day that I would have said BULL s*** to it---but what has really got me to this point, is asking god for help, and he was there..he is helping me...( Take it for whats its worth ) but that is when everything changed.
Please keep on trying, your young, bright, and have alot to offer---
Mike
You know its not about me being sober and you not--its about trying--and you are, so you have my respect--it is not easy. I really try to stay just in the day, so I always say to myself--I only have today. And it is so true.
Just keep trying--and keep your heart and mind open, and listen. I am going to add this, it might be hard to swallow for some, and there was a day that I would have said BULL s*** to it---but what has really got me to this point, is asking god for help, and he was there..he is helping me...( Take it for whats its worth ) but that is when everything changed.
Please keep on trying, your young, bright, and have alot to offer---
Mike
Hi Danielle:
Wow, what an accomplishment. I am very proud of you. I called someone to go with me to my first meeting back after the pill run and I told my friend, "I can't go by myself," and she said " well, you go cop drugs by yourself, don't you?" Needless to say that rang true for me. I still had this guy friend of mine who had relapsed also after 10 years (clean for two years now) take me for awhile until I was comfortable. It's a big step and you took it. Don't get caught up in the "I'm not an alcoholic" bu##S**t because after seven years clean, I was not convinced I was an alcoholic. So, I started drinking very expensive wines and then started snorting a little coke and then a Vicodin here and there and then WaHLAh, fullblown Hydro addict. Alcohol allows us to bend the rules and let our defenses down, where one pill isn't so bad etc. Take it from me, they are all drugs, alcohol, pills and any mind altering chemical. It's just so not worth it. I never liked alcohol anyway so it's no big deal to not drink to me. I could care less. Now, if you said I can't drink coffe, well, that's another story. Hang in there and I think it's wonderful you are starting your recovery journey. You won't even believe how good life can get when you are present, fully. As the Big Book says, "we were rocketed into the 4th dimesion." Good luck and if I was there I would love to go with you to the meetings!
Love,
Rachel
Wow, what an accomplishment. I am very proud of you. I called someone to go with me to my first meeting back after the pill run and I told my friend, "I can't go by myself," and she said " well, you go cop drugs by yourself, don't you?" Needless to say that rang true for me. I still had this guy friend of mine who had relapsed also after 10 years (clean for two years now) take me for awhile until I was comfortable. It's a big step and you took it. Don't get caught up in the "I'm not an alcoholic" bu##S**t because after seven years clean, I was not convinced I was an alcoholic. So, I started drinking very expensive wines and then started snorting a little coke and then a Vicodin here and there and then WaHLAh, fullblown Hydro addict. Alcohol allows us to bend the rules and let our defenses down, where one pill isn't so bad etc. Take it from me, they are all drugs, alcohol, pills and any mind altering chemical. It's just so not worth it. I never liked alcohol anyway so it's no big deal to not drink to me. I could care less. Now, if you said I can't drink coffe, well, that's another story. Hang in there and I think it's wonderful you are starting your recovery journey. You won't even believe how good life can get when you are present, fully. As the Big Book says, "we were rocketed into the 4th dimesion." Good luck and if I was there I would love to go with you to the meetings!
Love,
Rachel
Rachel, you're right about so many things.... And when I look back at the big picture, I can't honestly say that I've never had a problem with alcohol. I can go years without drinking, but when I DO drink, it's excessive. From 1996-2000, I worked at the club 5-6 nights a week (sometimes 7 days straight).... and EVERY SINGLE NIGHT, I drank either tequila or jagermeister and we're talking 1/2-1 whole bottle.
I went to a Marine Corp Birthday Ball in 1998 and my husband (then boyfriend) took pictures of me with the empty bottle of Jager that I finished off BY MYSELF (he and 3 other people split the other bottle). I was so proud of the fact that I could out-drink anyone.
But the thing is, almost every stupid thing I've done in my life, I've done while drinking. Any foolish thing you can think of, I did while I was drunk..... I was never addicted to it like I am to pills, but I would drink so much that my karate instructor would say he could smell it coming out of my pores.
So maybe AA is the place for me...
I went to a Marine Corp Birthday Ball in 1998 and my husband (then boyfriend) took pictures of me with the empty bottle of Jager that I finished off BY MYSELF (he and 3 other people split the other bottle). I was so proud of the fact that I could out-drink anyone.
But the thing is, almost every stupid thing I've done in my life, I've done while drinking. Any foolish thing you can think of, I did while I was drunk..... I was never addicted to it like I am to pills, but I would drink so much that my karate instructor would say he could smell it coming out of my pores.
So maybe AA is the place for me...
