Wasn't going to post today..just watched as a couple of people got themselves all spun up and thier threads closed by the moderators because they were so ridiculous.
Had to say this though... I don't mock God...not sure I believe in him, so what's to mock? Have never asked for prayers. Not my crutch. Addiction and recovery have nothing to do with religion for me and everything to do with myself. God didn't help me then, he won't help me now. I'm not a bad person..don't lie, cheat or steal. Haven't killed anyone and I'm a good mom, wife, friend and daughter. Still wasn't good enough for your God. You can believe what you want and if it gets you through the night, then hey, more power to you. I can have my opinion too. That's fair don't you think?
So, we all get blasted for telling it like it is, but you love Liz for telling it like it is? Am I the only one confused here? My friends come to my aid. You go to Liz's. Don't see the difference...
There will always be debates and arguments here. We're acting like addicts, wow. Don't like it? Don't read it. Or better yet, learn from it.
Just curious... you keep calling me Lisa. Very few people (now everyone, thanks to you and so much for annoynimty) know me by that name and they have been around a long time. hmmmmm
Say whatever you like. I'm done with you and your nonsense.
Recovery anyone?
Cowgirl
what is going on?
How are you feeling, Kerry? Any big plans for Thanksgiving? It's always hardest for me at the Holidays. The pills used to give me my energy and confidence to deal with relatives. This year will be a first for me in 23 years.
How about you?
Cowgirl
How about you?
Cowgirl
You Know
I am a member of quite a lot of boards some are recovery ones but mainly others stuff. On them there are some big diagrements and heaving debating that goes on. For some reson though noone seems to fall out, take things person or insult other. I do not know this board should be any different. Maybe this is where the sicker ones come that need more help. I was going to try and answer some of your statements about God in a loving way cowgirl but as I have said on other threads latley I will not get dragged into arguing. I feel that that subject with you is a rogh nerve so unless invited to I will leave it. Cowgirl I hope you are OK things seem to be calming down now thank God. Maybe we should concentrate more on the newcomers that are reaching out. What do you think.
best wishes
Paul
I am a member of quite a lot of boards some are recovery ones but mainly others stuff. On them there are some big diagrements and heaving debating that goes on. For some reson though noone seems to fall out, take things person or insult other. I do not know this board should be any different. Maybe this is where the sicker ones come that need more help. I was going to try and answer some of your statements about God in a loving way cowgirl but as I have said on other threads latley I will not get dragged into arguing. I feel that that subject with you is a rogh nerve so unless invited to I will leave it. Cowgirl I hope you are OK things seem to be calming down now thank God. Maybe we should concentrate more on the newcomers that are reaching out. What do you think.
best wishes
Paul
I totally agrre, Paul. Reaching out to the newcomers and by doing so, helping ourselves is my main goal here. Just got sidelined for awhile. I need to learn to not let others who aren't here for recovery get under my skin.
I would welcome and appreciate your thoughts on God and recovery. I still have to much to learn and so much anger in that department. I'm sure Teresa will be busting my hump on that one too...lol (bring it on girlie, I love you).
How are you doing on the Sub., Paul? Do you feel like you have your life back?
Love you
Cowgirl
I would welcome and appreciate your thoughts on God and recovery. I still have to much to learn and so much anger in that department. I'm sure Teresa will be busting my hump on that one too...lol (bring it on girlie, I love you).
How are you doing on the Sub., Paul? Do you feel like you have your life back?
Love you
Cowgirl
I am well, Cowgirl. Thanks for asking. I just picked my son up from the airport. He is 13 and has been with his grandma since March. I miss him terribly. He is adhd, and he can be a major trigger for me. He is growing up, though. He is so handsome...
And for all wondering...lol...my kids are all from the same man.
I hope you are well, Cowgirl. Thank God I missed the drama...I don't even know what happened. Ignorance is bliss, I guess. I will continue to not know who is mad at who, etc. Keeps me innocent, I guess.
(Just let me know if I was slammed...lol...)
I don't have any plans, I have to work. I hate my job. They are short of people, so Ihave to work. I really don't feel like that is my problem. After 10 years, I should be able to get a holiday off...
kerry
And for all wondering...lol...my kids are all from the same man.
I hope you are well, Cowgirl. Thank God I missed the drama...I don't even know what happened. Ignorance is bliss, I guess. I will continue to not know who is mad at who, etc. Keeps me innocent, I guess.
(Just let me know if I was slammed...lol...)
I don't have any plans, I have to work. I hate my job. They are short of people, so Ihave to work. I really don't feel like that is my problem. After 10 years, I should be able to get a holiday off...
kerry
Not fair!!! You should get the holiday off! So gald your son is home. Is he home to stay? Do you have a support plan in place in case things get a little dicey? Please be careful of those triggers. Especially when you know what will push your buttons.
Nope, you weren't slammed. Wouldn't matter anyway, we all know what you are about and love to hear from you. What ever happend to Dianne? The one that should of been a writer?
Cowgirl
Nope, you weren't slammed. Wouldn't matter anyway, we all know what you are about and love to hear from you. What ever happend to Dianne? The one that should of been a writer?
Cowgirl
cowgirl...
I missed you today... and yea... I will bring it on...(kidding) I love ya... the holidays are bad for me as well but for a different reason.. but anyhoo.... hope your family is better...
Take care you yourself.... please...
Teresa
I missed you today... and yea... I will bring it on...(kidding) I love ya... the holidays are bad for me as well but for a different reason.. but anyhoo.... hope your family is better...
Take care you yourself.... please...
Teresa
Hi Lisa (since it doesn't matter now,lol), you made me remember something. When I was deep in active addiction I prayed quite a bit. I asked God to take it away. Let me wake up no longer an addict. Well, needless to say it didn't happen. So like you, I have my doubts about complete deliverance from drug addiction. Why would God miraculously take it from one and not another? It would seem a little unfair, don't you think? On the other side, God is my higher power, He is my crutch. But hey, that's just me. I completly respect and understand your way of thinking. I don't have to agree one hundred percent to read what you write, gain from your knowledge, and enjoy you for a friend. It's just ridiculous the debates that people chose to make over simple differences of opinion. I respect yours just as you do mine and what's the big deal? Enjoy your turkey! Lots of love, Kat
TO MY SWEETE remember you gave ME clear glasses i could look throw NOT ROSE COLARED GLASSES YOU ARE MY ADVISER and a good one at that i love you my little cowgil and all
Kat..that's what I've been trying to say! We can all agree to disagree and move on to helping eachother with our recoveries. I am so proud of you.
Poopie... you're a doll. Look how far you've come! You will get through this!
Love you all
Lisa
Poopie... you're a doll. Look how far you've come! You will get through this!
Love you all
Lisa
I don't know what happened to her. That was probably the only unkind post I wrote, when I told her that she was making me want to drink..
Anyway, my son went to his dad's ex girlfriends house. He used to live there, and has alot of friends that live behind them. I guess he was bored. Whatever. Totally hurt my feelings, and I am obviously not good at taking hurt. But it is something that I have to deal with. When he saw his dads skanky little 21 year old ex girlfriend, and gave her a bigger hug than me....boy, did that one hurt like hell. But I am still sober, even though I seriously thought about slamming whatever I could get my hands on to take that hurt away...
I didn't do it because I know it isn't worth it.
But boy, did that hurt.
I can't even believe that I posted that.
I guess we can ride it out...but it hurts. Whatever.
kerry
Anyway, my son went to his dad's ex girlfriends house. He used to live there, and has alot of friends that live behind them. I guess he was bored. Whatever. Totally hurt my feelings, and I am obviously not good at taking hurt. But it is something that I have to deal with. When he saw his dads skanky little 21 year old ex girlfriend, and gave her a bigger hug than me....boy, did that one hurt like hell. But I am still sober, even though I seriously thought about slamming whatever I could get my hands on to take that hurt away...
I didn't do it because I know it isn't worth it.
But boy, did that hurt.
I can't even believe that I posted that.
I guess we can ride it out...but it hurts. Whatever.
kerry
Hey Kerry, I've experienced similar things with my ex and the kids. Yeah, it does hurt. We do all the dirty work....simple things like : RAISING them, and then somebody else gets affection for doing nothing. (guess you can see by my reaction there that I really do know what you're feeling, lol) Glad to hear you stayed strong despite being hurt. I've wondered if maybe us addicts are in general more sensitive than non addicts. Could that be why we tried to numb ourselves? And I'm betting, if you're anything like me, you didn't even let it show that your feelings were hurt, just sucked it up with a smile and acted like nothing happened. Tell me if I guessed right on that one. Take care, Kerry, keep on being strong, you're an inspiration. Much love, Kat
Hey Cowgirl
Sorry I did not get back to you. I have figured I must be about 6 hours in front of you in the US thats why I just disapear halfway thruogh a conversation, its usualy around midnight. I am amazed you could read what I wrote, I know I do the odd typo but that was ridiculous lol lol.
You and others asked how is my recovery and the Sub going. Well I feel its going great. I am begining to feel a peace about myself again. Why do we ever relapse?.....I guess we think the grass is greener on the other side well, I can tell you it never is. I sometimes step out of myself, and enjoy the moment, when I am play wrestling with my boys and they are giggling and I think how much I have missed simple pleasures for the sake of a mind altering substance. Crazy isnt it? I took the substances because I thought they would make me a better person. I carried on taking them when everyone I loved told me they did not like me when *under the influence* even one of my boys a couple of times said to me "daddy please stop".
I am still on Subutex...Its not a miracle drug and I would not recomend it for the purposes of avoiding cold turkey. I am taking it for pain. It was a condition that I had to take the treatment or find another job. You see I was in pain a lot at work and having quite a bit of time off. Also my boss said is dosent look could when you are obviously in pain and looking after critically ill patients. I also had a couple of relapses. Buprenorphine was the perfect solution. I get no side effects, it does not make me high, I am pain free and it blocks the effects of opiates if I relapse. So I will be going on it indefinatly. I am also having councelling, I have a session today with an addictions councellor. , thing is I dont know what to talk about. I have all these sessions that are paid for by work and it like she is fishing to find a personal problem that causes me to drink or want to take drugs. When I am sober I do not feel like I have any problems. I sometimes feel like making something up so that she dosnt feel so bad when, after an hour ,we have got nowhere.
Cowgirl as for the God stuff.......I think if we get into that on a public board..well you know what I mean....religion and politics and recovering addicts is a bomb just waiting to go off. I think as long we can hold are own views without attack thats fine. Also if someones asks me then I am happy to respond but when things get heavy I would rather take it somewhere else. Been there done that...and felt the guilt afterwards lol.
Hope everyone has a good day
Paul
Sorry I did not get back to you. I have figured I must be about 6 hours in front of you in the US thats why I just disapear halfway thruogh a conversation, its usualy around midnight. I am amazed you could read what I wrote, I know I do the odd typo but that was ridiculous lol lol.
You and others asked how is my recovery and the Sub going. Well I feel its going great. I am begining to feel a peace about myself again. Why do we ever relapse?.....I guess we think the grass is greener on the other side well, I can tell you it never is. I sometimes step out of myself, and enjoy the moment, when I am play wrestling with my boys and they are giggling and I think how much I have missed simple pleasures for the sake of a mind altering substance. Crazy isnt it? I took the substances because I thought they would make me a better person. I carried on taking them when everyone I loved told me they did not like me when *under the influence* even one of my boys a couple of times said to me "daddy please stop".
I am still on Subutex...Its not a miracle drug and I would not recomend it for the purposes of avoiding cold turkey. I am taking it for pain. It was a condition that I had to take the treatment or find another job. You see I was in pain a lot at work and having quite a bit of time off. Also my boss said is dosent look could when you are obviously in pain and looking after critically ill patients. I also had a couple of relapses. Buprenorphine was the perfect solution. I get no side effects, it does not make me high, I am pain free and it blocks the effects of opiates if I relapse. So I will be going on it indefinatly. I am also having councelling, I have a session today with an addictions councellor. , thing is I dont know what to talk about. I have all these sessions that are paid for by work and it like she is fishing to find a personal problem that causes me to drink or want to take drugs. When I am sober I do not feel like I have any problems. I sometimes feel like making something up so that she dosnt feel so bad when, after an hour ,we have got nowhere.
Cowgirl as for the God stuff.......I think if we get into that on a public board..well you know what I mean....religion and politics and recovering addicts is a bomb just waiting to go off. I think as long we can hold are own views without attack thats fine. Also if someones asks me then I am happy to respond but when things get heavy I would rather take it somewhere else. Been there done that...and felt the guilt afterwards lol.
Hope everyone has a good day
Paul
