Add And Smoking Weed

Hello, I hope I get some feedback on this topic, because I really need it to help me beat anxiety and depression thanks to smoking weed when feeling bad. I'm 19 years old and living the ADD life (why my mind keeps on making problems).

I'm feeling alone for my whole life, I have amazing parents and friends who give me the love I need, but they have lost trust in me, because I was smoking weed during high school and didn't cared about anything (bad points). I've had several very hard break-ups, one girl gave me the world when I couldn't even love myself, I smoked too much and got uninterested at dates and conversations (ADD got worse..)I really didn't want that and now she doesn't want me back, so I know loss for the rest of my life.
She dumped me and I was smoking to feel better after the break-up, but each day I was still feeling depressed about it.-

So from the beginning, I turned 17, was completely against drugs (even cigs and alcohol). My parents gave me the opportunity to stay in their appartment at the sea. I made a good friend during the first days of school, I invited him to also sleep at my appartment (both parents accepted it).

After a few weeks we already smoked weed there. It gave me such a good feeling, I felt I could become someone new, because I hated the person I was before. So now 2 years later (19) after smoking few times a week, I realized I had to quit, because anxiety and depression went back like before but worse.

I want to be like the person I was before I used drugs and also don't want to repeat the past. I must succeed school!

Does someone have any experience with ADD and smoking weed. I really feel the brain damage. I was always good at explaining my feelings to someone, but now when it comes to love for example, I'm blocking my own thoughts (maybe my brain is trying to save me from being hurt again). I'm trying to get that focus back like before I used weed, concerta helps me concentrate (ADD), but carries insomnia and depression with it..

I'll be very pleased to get some feedback on this. (Bad english, my native language is dutch)
I forgot to mention that I also experimented with xtc and psilocybin mushrooms, each 3 times. (Not making that much difference i guess)
I've experience with smoking weed. At first I feel great, because due to consuming weed I felt better when I'm in era of addiction. But when it become a strong habit of mine I've decided to try to stop smoking weed