Suicide is devastating to people left behind. I cannot begin to express it here even at the age of 7 what it was like for my family and me. We grow up. We are called "survivors". There is so much I could say here. I'm not sure where to start or if I'd ever stop.
love,
pm
pm,
I can't imagine going through that at such a young age. It's devastating enough as an adult. If you feel comfortable and would like to take the time, I am interested in what you have to say.
I can't imagine going through that at such a young age. It's devastating enough as an adult. If you feel comfortable and would like to take the time, I am interested in what you have to say.
These stories made me cry. I've never lost anyone that I was close too, to suicide. I can't even imagine how that would feel.
I'm so sorry for all of your losses.
Is there alot of suicide associated with addiction? Probably. Life gets unbearable when that bottom hits.
There is help available. And yes, you are worth it. Your family would agree I'm sure.
Cowgirl
I'm so sorry for all of your losses.
Is there alot of suicide associated with addiction? Probably. Life gets unbearable when that bottom hits.
There is help available. And yes, you are worth it. Your family would agree I'm sure.
Cowgirl
Thanks Jodi,
I might write about it more later. It happened a long time ago. We were not allowed to speak it to anyone. No counseling, sort of like we had to go on like it never happened. Today it is as vibrant as the blue sky outside. Even my mom's last words to my sister who was 16 at the time. There are so many details there. So many emotions.
I can say to anyone wanting to take your life because you feel worthless. Your child really would benefit most if you pulled it together for them instead. They need you. I understand what was said about a life being spared. I know my life might have been spared. Life is always what is is and not what is is not. I do not dwell back there anymore but it took alot of adult counseling and work to get through that. And I never did forget it because it was in the past and move on like I was told to do as a child. I had to go through the eye of it's many forms. In ways I guess I still do. My cousins they do also as I watch and listen to them. The guilt is something else. Even to a 7 year old. I thought I should have been able to save her.
love,
pm
I might write about it more later. It happened a long time ago. We were not allowed to speak it to anyone. No counseling, sort of like we had to go on like it never happened. Today it is as vibrant as the blue sky outside. Even my mom's last words to my sister who was 16 at the time. There are so many details there. So many emotions.
I can say to anyone wanting to take your life because you feel worthless. Your child really would benefit most if you pulled it together for them instead. They need you. I understand what was said about a life being spared. I know my life might have been spared. Life is always what is is and not what is is not. I do not dwell back there anymore but it took alot of adult counseling and work to get through that. And I never did forget it because it was in the past and move on like I was told to do as a child. I had to go through the eye of it's many forms. In ways I guess I still do. My cousins they do also as I watch and listen to them. The guilt is something else. Even to a 7 year old. I thought I should have been able to save her.
love,
pm
Pm, YES it is so tragic for the whole family i know from some of what he said in his letter just before he took his life at the time he just thought it would end his suffering and the pain of his addiction in his mind he also thought it might be better for the family but ending ones life only makes the hurt so much more his mom and dad and hs daughter and the rest of us that were left behind full of guilt and what (ifs or what did'nt we do right) but they tried boy did they try they all did but i know when it came right down to it it was no ones falt my conselour helped me see that and thats why i decieded to fight i have been blessed with a very careing parents my dear supportive hubby and two terrific sons my eldest grauated from grade 12 we were so very proud and he was so proud to see us standing there and he came up to me and said mom it's you who should have this deploma it's because of you and dad always beeing there no matter what it was you were there to support us' and it made me think back if i had chosen to keep useing how i would have lost so much and my family would have paid the price i bald like a baby because i thought now this family god has blessed me with how on earth can i put them through that heartach and like my hubby said back then he thinks that was the message brian was trying to get accross learn from this and beat your addiction now as starnge as it sounds i always tell brians mom wich is my aunt' brian saved me and it always seems to make her feel a little better she gives me a big hug and says her grief and gult is always there but at least some good came from it by you seeing what this did to my granddaughter it opened your eyes to what it would do to your family and she was right/ along with finding this post and my guardian angels i call them on here who taught me it is possible to succeed and i did and you all know who you are ecspeacily my big sis who came to my rescue on here wj i just wish brian could have found this site who knows it sure made me chose life over death. LOVE + HUGS LITTLE H.
Little Hanno,
I remember when you first started posting here. I'm glad you fought and are still here today. I'm really glad you stuck it through and did what you had to do. It i s a choice. I know the choice is not always easy. Maybe it's never easy either way even ....... but it is a choice and your kids they need you. You are a strong person to have made it through. I'm very proud of you for making it through, for stepping up to the plate, for doing what it takes, for the courage, for the strength, for the love, for the ability to get up everyday and keep going. It is beautiful and your family loves you for it everyday. Smile. Bless you and everyone who has done it and still here talking about it.
I think it took alot of guts also for my mom to have taken her life. When I went through all my anger and emotions I would have told you it was weak but I'm sure it was no easy feat to leave behind three young children. My mom never left a note, nothing. I don't even have a picture of her. She is gone but there is part of here in me. Could be my finest attributes. Smile.
love,
pm
I remember when you first started posting here. I'm glad you fought and are still here today. I'm really glad you stuck it through and did what you had to do. It i s a choice. I know the choice is not always easy. Maybe it's never easy either way even ....... but it is a choice and your kids they need you. You are a strong person to have made it through. I'm very proud of you for making it through, for stepping up to the plate, for doing what it takes, for the courage, for the strength, for the love, for the ability to get up everyday and keep going. It is beautiful and your family loves you for it everyday. Smile. Bless you and everyone who has done it and still here talking about it.
I think it took alot of guts also for my mom to have taken her life. When I went through all my anger and emotions I would have told you it was weak but I'm sure it was no easy feat to leave behind three young children. My mom never left a note, nothing. I don't even have a picture of her. She is gone but there is part of here in me. Could be my finest attributes. Smile.
love,
pm
My condolences ... to add to the list ... I had a very goodlooking friend of mine pass away last year. He was a friend, but also provided me with pills .... he had SO many friends, and he was SO sweet & funny ... he OD'd on cocaine, pills, alcohol .. u name it, it was there. Still so chilling to me, because it was someone I loved hanging out with & I think about him on and off .. I miss you Michael.
Pm, you are amoung the angels who have been there to support me so if you would like to email me you are more then welcome to my email is bacon@mts.net and please don't ever doubt how much your mother loved you all because i know in my heart speaking as a mother she did don't ever doubt her love for you because it had nothing to do with her children it was the addiction and deppresion i know its hard but when an addict is in that state of mind all they can think of is ending there pain and in that frame of mind as brian told us in his letter he thought his family would be better off he thought in his mind he was just a burden drugs can make one think all kinds of things that most certainly are not true anyway please know i understand and i 'am here if you need to vent as you have been there for me. LOVE + HUGS HELEN.
Skeeter, Please know how sorry i 'am for your lose my heart and prayers are with you please know you are not alone. HUGS + LOVE LITTLE H.
Little Hanno,
Thanks. I appreciate that. You know overall I do pretty well. I never forgot but I dealt with it alot and I think I'm better for it. I think about her this time of year. She died when we were going back to school, her birthday was in the fall so this time of year I think of her most. I'm grateful though. She gave me life and she did her best.
So we go through all we have to go through, then a little more (smile) and we go on. And choose to remember the good and realize that even though we had to be zipped mouth about it ....... even that choice was made in an effort to do the right thing.
Still I'm so happy you are free from the drugs and clean now. And your son when you wrote that about graduation, you brought tears to my eyes.
love,
pm
Thanks. I appreciate that. You know overall I do pretty well. I never forgot but I dealt with it alot and I think I'm better for it. I think about her this time of year. She died when we were going back to school, her birthday was in the fall so this time of year I think of her most. I'm grateful though. She gave me life and she did her best.
So we go through all we have to go through, then a little more (smile) and we go on. And choose to remember the good and realize that even though we had to be zipped mouth about it ....... even that choice was made in an effort to do the right thing.
Still I'm so happy you are free from the drugs and clean now. And your son when you wrote that about graduation, you brought tears to my eyes.
love,
pm
Thanks to all of you that shared your condolence and stories. I know that it is something in my family that we never talk about our faced. It has been a hush, hush topic.
I know my brother is free now, free of the pain of his addiction. I guess some are not so lucky to recover.
Thanks again
Lovebird
I know my brother is free now, free of the pain of his addiction. I guess some are not so lucky to recover.
Thanks again
Lovebird
