My brother was an alcoholic. He committed suicide. I found him in his truck with a tube that went from his exhaust to his camper. He had taken an overdose of vicodin and then started his engine and killed himself. He gave up on himself and felt hopeless that he could not overcome his addiction. Lets all get real here. This happens all the time. We don't here about it but when I went to a group after his suicide most of the people in the group had also lost loved ones in the same way. They killed themselves because of their hopelessness due to addiction.
I would like to know if anybody else out there has had love ones or people they have known that committed suicide. If so, please share because I think this is one aspect of addiction that I have not seen on this board.
Lovebird
hey lovebird......my pa's brothers wifes son.....who i call my aunty to make it easier lol......um her son gassed himself in his car too. it was very sad. but i dont believe it was due to addiction. his wife had been cheating on him ect and i dont know what else he was going through. it is terrible to loose someone like this. i am so sorry for the loss of ur brother.
Thanks Elvis,
It's comforting to know that I am not alone. It is a heavy topic that I think people are afraid to talk about.
Thanks for responding.
Lovebird
It's comforting to know that I am not alone. It is a heavy topic that I think people are afraid to talk about.
Thanks for responding.
Lovebird
Hello,lovebird
Sorry about your brother.I know of three people that have commited suicide.My uncles daughter she was a lesbine.She has all since a very young age done drugs of any kind.Her parents gave her a rough time about her being gay.Since i spell it you know what it mean.Her girlfriend that she was liveing with her for a coulple of years .Was alway bi. and she left her for a guy she'd been seeing.She hung herself in her trailer and her father find her.A friend stepdad had a rough time with her mom she is a addict to pain pills ,lottery and home shopping off the tv and he just shot himself and the head.Kill he instant.Id talked with him he was a deprested man.had to wait of her hand and foot she drove him crazy.So he ended it all.Someone on my moms side of the family i havent met him he was 38 years old a cousin to my mom he dranked antifreze .he was hook on crack and ect.....He has dranked gas and was in the emgen. alot for trying to kill himself. Its so sad to hear of people not getting a grip on thier lifes.ive had thoughts but,i could of never done it.hope you are doing well,Im really sorry to hear about your brother....take care,crystal
Sorry about your brother.I know of three people that have commited suicide.My uncles daughter she was a lesbine.She has all since a very young age done drugs of any kind.Her parents gave her a rough time about her being gay.Since i spell it you know what it mean.Her girlfriend that she was liveing with her for a coulple of years .Was alway bi. and she left her for a guy she'd been seeing.She hung herself in her trailer and her father find her.A friend stepdad had a rough time with her mom she is a addict to pain pills ,lottery and home shopping off the tv and he just shot himself and the head.Kill he instant.Id talked with him he was a deprested man.had to wait of her hand and foot she drove him crazy.So he ended it all.Someone on my moms side of the family i havent met him he was 38 years old a cousin to my mom he dranked antifreze .he was hook on crack and ect.....He has dranked gas and was in the emgen. alot for trying to kill himself. Its so sad to hear of people not getting a grip on thier lifes.ive had thoughts but,i could of never done it.hope you are doing well,Im really sorry to hear about your brother....take care,crystal
Lovebird.....
I am so sorry to hear about your brother. It is so sad and this does happen day in, day out, somewhere...... Anymore when I hear someone took thier lives, the next sentence is usually about the addiction that they were fighting.
Many on here have lost someone to drugs this way. To feel that helpless, that desperate.....My husband's best friend killed himself, he system filled with drugs. It was all that he could ever see as a way to end the pain. The questions that remain are endless, and the feelings that my husband have are still fresh at times. He so thought that he missed something, that he could have prevented it. I don't think anyone can....
Please be gentle to yourself, and take good care of you....
I will keep your family in my prayers.....
Love,
Tina
I am so sorry to hear about your brother. It is so sad and this does happen day in, day out, somewhere...... Anymore when I hear someone took thier lives, the next sentence is usually about the addiction that they were fighting.
Many on here have lost someone to drugs this way. To feel that helpless, that desperate.....My husband's best friend killed himself, he system filled with drugs. It was all that he could ever see as a way to end the pain. The questions that remain are endless, and the feelings that my husband have are still fresh at times. He so thought that he missed something, that he could have prevented it. I don't think anyone can....
Please be gentle to yourself, and take good care of you....
I will keep your family in my prayers.....
Love,
Tina
lovebird,
sorry bout your loss, i dont know how common suicide is with addiction but i can honestly say the thoughts did cross my mind while active in addiction. my kids are what spared me.
i will be praying for you and your family, also know he is free now, free from the demons of addiction and now is in the best place ever. please take comfort in knowing you will see him again.
terrianne
sorry bout your loss, i dont know how common suicide is with addiction but i can honestly say the thoughts did cross my mind while active in addiction. my kids are what spared me.
i will be praying for you and your family, also know he is free now, free from the demons of addiction and now is in the best place ever. please take comfort in knowing you will see him again.
terrianne
Lovebird,
I am so sorry about the loss of your brother. I can totally relate. My stepson commited suicide one year ago October 24. He hung himself. He didn't leave a note. He called many of his friends right before he did it but didn't mention anything to anybody. So we didn't really get a concrete answer as to why he chose to end his life. But I have to assume it had alot to do with addiction. He has struggled with drugs and alcohol since he was a young teenager and he was 31 when he died...so half of his life.
I have alot of feelings of guilt. I know that we can't blame ourselves though. I didn't have much contact with him during his last year alive. I was very unhappy with some things he had done and said while using. (What a big fat hypocrite I was....me being a pill addict and alcoholic the whole time.) So my very last words to him were angry ones. And that hurts because, in the beginning of our relationship, we were actually very close. He was only a year and a half younger than me. He was such a lovable guy. I wish I would have told him that. I hope he can hear me now.
I hate that such a young, talented and loving man is now just a statistic to the rest of the world. But I also know the pain and depression he experienced for so long. I saw it first hand every time he visited yet I just chalked it up to the fact that he was drunk or high and because of that was just being overly sensitive or dramatic. If we had only shown him the outpouring of love he received after his death while he was still alive...it could've made all the difference.
Again, I am very sorry about your brother. Suicide leaves a wound on your soul that seems like it will never heal.
I am so sorry about the loss of your brother. I can totally relate. My stepson commited suicide one year ago October 24. He hung himself. He didn't leave a note. He called many of his friends right before he did it but didn't mention anything to anybody. So we didn't really get a concrete answer as to why he chose to end his life. But I have to assume it had alot to do with addiction. He has struggled with drugs and alcohol since he was a young teenager and he was 31 when he died...so half of his life.
I have alot of feelings of guilt. I know that we can't blame ourselves though. I didn't have much contact with him during his last year alive. I was very unhappy with some things he had done and said while using. (What a big fat hypocrite I was....me being a pill addict and alcoholic the whole time.) So my very last words to him were angry ones. And that hurts because, in the beginning of our relationship, we were actually very close. He was only a year and a half younger than me. He was such a lovable guy. I wish I would have told him that. I hope he can hear me now.
I hate that such a young, talented and loving man is now just a statistic to the rest of the world. But I also know the pain and depression he experienced for so long. I saw it first hand every time he visited yet I just chalked it up to the fact that he was drunk or high and because of that was just being overly sensitive or dramatic. If we had only shown him the outpouring of love he received after his death while he was still alive...it could've made all the difference.
Again, I am very sorry about your brother. Suicide leaves a wound on your soul that seems like it will never heal.
HI, Lovebird i do not think we have ever posted to you before i do not post very often any more but i check in althou i 'am not a new member i just wanted to let you know you are not alone as most of the older members remember me it is because of this site and certain members they know who they are and support from my hubby i' am clean over a year but i do understand all to well about loseing a family member to suicied my cousin he was like a brother to me we were so close and he to took his life because he could not fight his addiction i felt so guilty even thou i tried to help him quit i blaimed my self because i thought i failed him but on this post they helped me to see he made that choice and he took it he left a letter for me that his mom my aunt gave to me telling me he could not take it any more and how sorry he was he left behind a daughter she is now 11 years old and she stayed with me for a couple of weeks after but how can you tell a 10 year old girl when she asked why did my daddy do that if he loved me he would have stayed i hate him for leaving me she even asked me if she did something wrong she asked if it was her fault how could i make his little girl understand her daddy loved her very much but he was very sick because i did not know if understood it my self beeing an addict back then yes but as a parent no but it sure opened my eyes and made me see this is what my dear children would go through the rest of there life if i did not stop my addiction from pain meds and after seeing what it did and is still doing to that sweet little daughter he left behind because to this day she still says i loved my dad but i hate him for takeing him away from me he was my dad he had no right' and it made me realize she was right he had no right to destroy his life and take away his daughters right to have her dad and for me being a mother and a wife also to take my childrens right to have there mother in there future and to leave my dear husband alone with our sons she was so right as parents and taking our life period. we have no right to take or to put our children throu that i know my cousin needed help and he was sick but as much as i cared about him like a brother she was right he had NO! right as we do not to put or familys through that and i 'am going to make sure that i will never ever take my childrens rights away from them we brought them into this world it is up to us as parents to make sure we are here to see them throu it' anyway i sure hope i have not affended anyone here lovebird this just brought back the pain of what his suicied did after seeing what a fathers suicied did emotionaly to his daughter that is the hardest thing to see and i 'am going to make sure that is some thing i will never put my children throu any way thanks lovebird for reminding me of the blessings i have and that secound chance i was givin back then that opened my eyes so i could be here for my family like i call alot of the older members here they know who they are and the new ones to who have helped so many of us get clean and stay that way you are all guardian angels . LOVE + HUGS LITTLE H.
Sorry to hear of your loss...
Last month a very vivacious gal who loved our coast roads, but was also taking oxycotin...took her helmet and gloves off, laid them on the side of the road....and drove her motorcycle, that she loved so much, off the cliff into the ocean.......leaving behind her fiance'' and all those who loved her............
Last month a very vivacious gal who loved our coast roads, but was also taking oxycotin...took her helmet and gloves off, laid them on the side of the road....and drove her motorcycle, that she loved so much, off the cliff into the ocean.......leaving behind her fiance'' and all those who loved her............
Yes, my best friend's 28 yr. old son took his own life. He was an alcoholic and I don't know what else.He used a rifle.
My own son is addicted to marijuana and has lots of legal problems. People say to let him hit bottom, but other professionals disagree with that. They may not survive bottom.
My own son is addicted to marijuana and has lots of legal problems. People say to let him hit bottom, but other professionals disagree with that. They may not survive bottom.
My mother died of a drug overdose when I was 7 years old. She left behind 3 girls and a husband. She also drank I think everyday. I know she took alot of pills but she also had severe depression and in the 70's there weren't alot of options to deal with it. My cousin was involved with drugs and died from a shotgun blow to the head. We never will know if it was suicide of fowl play for sure. My other cousin hung himself. He was on and off drugs I think. Mostly his I think was emotional. My Uncle died while sitting at his computer. I don't know if it was an od or what.
I think there is alot of death r/t suicide. Not sure if it is always intended to be suicide. Sometimes like w/ my mom and your brother it's real obvious and horrifying to find isn't it? I guess it's always horrifying to find.
peace,
pm
I think there is alot of death r/t suicide. Not sure if it is always intended to be suicide. Sometimes like w/ my mom and your brother it's real obvious and horrifying to find isn't it? I guess it's always horrifying to find.
peace,
pm
I am very to hear all your storeis.
I have not lost anybody in my family...But have thought more that once about putting a bullet in my head & ending the pain...
I have a 4 year old son, and a wonderful husband..
Sometimes the pain is just too much...Unreal...
Like I said to my mother.."what is so bad about it? I wont feel bad anymore...and I cant stay on this earth so you wont be sad"
I mean...then its all over right?
And thats what we all want...it to be all over..
It is the saddest thing..drugs rob you of everything...YOUR LIFE...
I hope peace finds you today...and always.
Jennifer
I have not lost anybody in my family...But have thought more that once about putting a bullet in my head & ending the pain...
I have a 4 year old son, and a wonderful husband..
Sometimes the pain is just too much...Unreal...
Like I said to my mother.."what is so bad about it? I wont feel bad anymore...and I cant stay on this earth so you wont be sad"
I mean...then its all over right?
And thats what we all want...it to be all over..
It is the saddest thing..drugs rob you of everything...YOUR LIFE...
I hope peace finds you today...and always.
Jennifer
I at times feel this way,I currently am going threw my 2 relapse.I have a wife and 2 daughters 6,12.I somtimes think there life would be better without me in the long run.Im 32 been going threw this since 13.Now that i have support i dont feel worthy of it because of what ive done over the years.Sounds foolish but this is how i feel at times. Thank You
Brab,
It's bad enough to lose a family member through death in any form...but, believe me, you don't want to leave your family with the intense emotions that follow a suicide. They would feel guilt, terrible sadness and, believe it or not, anger at you for what you've done. You are here talking so that says to me that you want to change your life. I am sure they would rather have a husband and father who is trying to get clean than to not have one at all. So keep on fighting...if not for yourself, do it for them.
It's bad enough to lose a family member through death in any form...but, believe me, you don't want to leave your family with the intense emotions that follow a suicide. They would feel guilt, terrible sadness and, believe it or not, anger at you for what you've done. You are here talking so that says to me that you want to change your life. I am sure they would rather have a husband and father who is trying to get clean than to not have one at all. So keep on fighting...if not for yourself, do it for them.
If we could have my stepson back, I would gladly take him back in the same mental state he was in or even worse (which was pretty bad). Because if he was still breathing...it would mean there was still hope. You woke up today...there is still hope.
Jodi,TY, for the uplift i am new here, and i think i will be back for sure. again TY
Brab,
This is an excellent place to be when you need help or just a little bit of encouragement. When you feel comfortable, start a new thread and introduce yourself. Have a great day!
This is an excellent place to be when you need help or just a little bit of encouragement. When you feel comfortable, start a new thread and introduce yourself. Have a great day!
My cousin's suicide caused my relapse.
HI Jodi i 'am so sorry for your lose like i said ive seen how it can devestate it sure changed the life of a dear child who then only had a father her mom took off after she was born BUT you are absolutly right jodie I WAKE UP EVERY MORNING because of what happened back then a daughter lost a father a mother lost her son and i lost a cousin that day but my hubby said some thing to me wich was so true losing your cousin through suicied was very tragic but it saved a life that day and that life was yours dear' brian left you that note for a reason i still have the letter it's put away but i don't think i will ever be able to read it again but there is a few words from that letter i will share with you dear members i remember them i don't have to see the letter it's burnt in my mind' (I CAN"T BUT YOU CAN YOU HAVE TO ) and i have' at first i did not understand what my hubby ment by that at the time how my life was saved by my cousin taking his own life but after beeing clean a year i sure do now IT WOKE ME UP IN MORE WAYS THEN ONE thank you jodi for taking the words that are so true right out of my mouth you are such a dear person, LOVE + HUGS LITTLE H.
Little H,
I am glad that you have been able to see your tragedy in a somewhat more positive light. I'm sure that it still is and always will be very painful for you. But it sounds as if you have begun to make peace with it. I am sure your cousin is very proud of you. I hope to be able to say the same about my loved one some day. Alot of guilt comes in there for me, too. His addiction destroyed him yet I am still in active addiction to this day. You would think that would have been enough of a wakeup call for me.
Oh so many different emotions on this topic. I haven't even begun to deal with them. Nobody in our family has. We all walk around and barely ever mention a word of it. This kind of stuff doesn't just go away by itself. I know it needs to be faced and dealt with head on.
I hope each new day brings you a little more peace. You are definitely a survivor and truly a miracle.
I am glad that you have been able to see your tragedy in a somewhat more positive light. I'm sure that it still is and always will be very painful for you. But it sounds as if you have begun to make peace with it. I am sure your cousin is very proud of you. I hope to be able to say the same about my loved one some day. Alot of guilt comes in there for me, too. His addiction destroyed him yet I am still in active addiction to this day. You would think that would have been enough of a wakeup call for me.
Oh so many different emotions on this topic. I haven't even begun to deal with them. Nobody in our family has. We all walk around and barely ever mention a word of it. This kind of stuff doesn't just go away by itself. I know it needs to be faced and dealt with head on.
I hope each new day brings you a little more peace. You are definitely a survivor and truly a miracle.
