Teresa..for me, compassion and patience go alot further than trying to pick apart and find the bad or wrong in what a person says. I need to see the good in people. I need to leave my old behaviors behind me and find some sort of "better" come out of a situation. My negativity keeps me sick. If I'm open to what others say and try to find the hidden meaning (even if there isn't one) than I feel better about myself.
I went to a womens meeting this morning and the topic was the 6th step. Removing defects. I can't remove other's defects, only my own. And one of my many (I'm like an onion, there are so many) defects are how I treat others. I'm really working on that.... I don't ever want to be so self-rightous (another one of my defects, self-rightous anger) and cocky that I think what I have to say is always right and that unless others do exactly what I say or agree with what I think, they are wrong and insignaficant, like they're not worth my time. I feel as though everyone reaching for help or answers should be given the benefit of the doubt... it makes me feel better about myself and helps me learn more about myself and this disease. Isn't that what all of this talk about God is about? Love thy neighbor (or love thy fellow addict)?
There are all types of people in this world and addicts seem to be more intune to eachother, more than most....without the differences, we wouldn't learn a damn thing and yes, that's what makes us friends. I just hope that we can keep learning from eachother (I mean all of us) so that we never get stagnent. It's so important to grow and keep growing.
Sure this post was imflammatory and maybe this person meant it to be, but didn't we all learn a little something from it by all of the responses? I did.
You are a kid... lol and I know what you mean about the weather. 90 for 3 days and then cold and raining. It really messes with my attitude. How silly is that?
Love you
Lisa
bump for teresa
Great post C.G. We need to remain positive and encouraging for the people who are in trouble (as some us are). Thank you for posting you kind words.
Cowgirl,
I gotta say, I think what you said in that post above was way outta line. Not only do I disagree with your view of what and how teresa posts, I'm kind of at a loss for words after reading it.
Take care...........Bob
I gotta say, I think what you said in that post above was way outta line. Not only do I disagree with your view of what and how teresa posts, I'm kind of at a loss for words after reading it.
Take care...........Bob
ok.
I read the above post last evening and again this morning.... I was frankly hoping that with a fresh perspective I would think differently or interpret differenly what was being said and/or implied regarding your post... but I didnt and I choose to not do anything... i just didnt want to post anymore to this and let it go.. I was confused but thought maybe it was just me... maybe it was general statements and no one else would get the same meaning... but then.. you bump it up for me... and thank you for that...
so I am left with a few decisions to make.. after discusing this with you .. I must say that i am still confused but I do practice what I preach in that I will look at the critisism you have pointed out that being self-righteous and picking people apart ect... and look again at myself and the way i am and come across on this board... I will be doing that in the days to come rest assured you message has been heard loud and clear... but I will stop short of saying thank you for bringing it to my attention in such a public way and in such an undilicate manner... the bump for teresa was the icing on the cake ...
My post to you was a celebration of our differences being the foundation of what makes this board work .. your being more compassionate and patient and me being a little more matter of fact and less i dont know... whatever... but appearently you thought differenly at least i can assume that by your post... I only wish you would have shared you thoughts with me in private... as for picking people apart let me give you credit you did a really nice job of doing it to me in your post and in chat... pat yourself on the back.. but again .. i will take a good long look at all that...
but as I mentioned to you in private i feel that this is a larger issue unresolved with yuou and i will not say anything more... this board is not the military .. ie the health and welbeing of the entire membership of the board should not be put into jeopardy for the sake of one.. not one on this thread or one such as could have occured in the past... period.. ... the military sends platons in to save one man risking many that is wonderful this board i say is not like that... I am sorry you are having a hard time with past events...
Please forgive what you see in me as obvious defects of character.. again I am sorry you see me as you do... and to all the others that may agree... this is not my intent to start anything.. infact I will be signing off and wish to have no replies.. I only wanted to speak my mind as this was 'bumped up' for all to reinterpret..
God bless us all in our quest for perfection.
Teresa
I read the above post last evening and again this morning.... I was frankly hoping that with a fresh perspective I would think differently or interpret differenly what was being said and/or implied regarding your post... but I didnt and I choose to not do anything... i just didnt want to post anymore to this and let it go.. I was confused but thought maybe it was just me... maybe it was general statements and no one else would get the same meaning... but then.. you bump it up for me... and thank you for that...
so I am left with a few decisions to make.. after discusing this with you .. I must say that i am still confused but I do practice what I preach in that I will look at the critisism you have pointed out that being self-righteous and picking people apart ect... and look again at myself and the way i am and come across on this board... I will be doing that in the days to come rest assured you message has been heard loud and clear... but I will stop short of saying thank you for bringing it to my attention in such a public way and in such an undilicate manner... the bump for teresa was the icing on the cake ...
My post to you was a celebration of our differences being the foundation of what makes this board work .. your being more compassionate and patient and me being a little more matter of fact and less i dont know... whatever... but appearently you thought differenly at least i can assume that by your post... I only wish you would have shared you thoughts with me in private... as for picking people apart let me give you credit you did a really nice job of doing it to me in your post and in chat... pat yourself on the back.. but again .. i will take a good long look at all that...
but as I mentioned to you in private i feel that this is a larger issue unresolved with yuou and i will not say anything more... this board is not the military .. ie the health and welbeing of the entire membership of the board should not be put into jeopardy for the sake of one.. not one on this thread or one such as could have occured in the past... period.. ... the military sends platons in to save one man risking many that is wonderful this board i say is not like that... I am sorry you are having a hard time with past events...
Please forgive what you see in me as obvious defects of character.. again I am sorry you see me as you do... and to all the others that may agree... this is not my intent to start anything.. infact I will be signing off and wish to have no replies.. I only wanted to speak my mind as this was 'bumped up' for all to reinterpret..
God bless us all in our quest for perfection.
Teresa
oh.. and thank you bob... cant say enough... even when you dont always agree at least you ... never mind...
Teresa
Teresa
First of all Bob, I don't think I was out of line when I'm talking about my character defects. If you took offense to it and thought I was talking about you, well, I guess that's your cross to bear, not mine. Not sure what you're trying to do here......
Teresa..I truly was talking about how I need to change. Simple as that. You have been pretty good at calling me on my BS, so anything that was directed to you, I was just giving my opinion. And that's all it is, an opinion. You have yours (very strong I might add) and I have mine (equally as strong). That's what makes the world go round.... I respect and appreciate you so very much. You are one of the reasons that I'm clean. I hope that you respect mine as well....
Love
Lisa
Teresa..I truly was talking about how I need to change. Simple as that. You have been pretty good at calling me on my BS, so anything that was directed to you, I was just giving my opinion. And that's all it is, an opinion. You have yours (very strong I might add) and I have mine (equally as strong). That's what makes the world go round.... I respect and appreciate you so very much. You are one of the reasons that I'm clean. I hope that you respect mine as well....
Love
Lisa
lisa,
sorry but caught your reply and didnt want to leave this out in the wind for the whole evening .. I feel it is important and needs further clarification....
Of course I respect your opinions .. that is precisly why I said in my post that I would look closely at the often painful critique you gave me regarding what was said in the post as well as in chat and you know very well what that was ... respecting opinions of others is a characterist of maturity and growth.. I might be self-righteous and all that other garbage but I would like to think that I can at least respect your opinion....
As far as bob is concerned.. his post was a visceral reaction to your post to me, what was said in chat, and the bump up so I was sure to see the post.... I cant fault him for being the way he is with his friends... he would and has been the same way with you many times... he wasnt just going by the post...
it is growth that I expect to come from this whole thing.. mine especially.. but again.. I only know that i will always take the high road with my friends.. since I have the means to do so... emails, phone numbers... but that is just me...
I am glad you value me as you say.... I wish this to be the end of all this stuff.. I have taken my lumps.. i will not do the same .... period..
God bless
teresa
sorry but caught your reply and didnt want to leave this out in the wind for the whole evening .. I feel it is important and needs further clarification....
Of course I respect your opinions .. that is precisly why I said in my post that I would look closely at the often painful critique you gave me regarding what was said in the post as well as in chat and you know very well what that was ... respecting opinions of others is a characterist of maturity and growth.. I might be self-righteous and all that other garbage but I would like to think that I can at least respect your opinion....
As far as bob is concerned.. his post was a visceral reaction to your post to me, what was said in chat, and the bump up so I was sure to see the post.... I cant fault him for being the way he is with his friends... he would and has been the same way with you many times... he wasnt just going by the post...
it is growth that I expect to come from this whole thing.. mine especially.. but again.. I only know that i will always take the high road with my friends.. since I have the means to do so... emails, phone numbers... but that is just me...
I am glad you value me as you say.... I wish this to be the end of all this stuff.. I have taken my lumps.. i will not do the same .... period..
God bless
teresa
I'm really confused... this post was about me and what I needed to do and it was hopefully insight into what all of us need to grow. That's all. No hidden meanings, no lumps, no disrespect.
That's all, nothing more. If I have a problem with you, you'll be the first to know. And so far, I have no problems...like I said, you're one of the reasons I got clean.
As far as Bob jumping in to stir the pot... please don't. Stay out of it. You weren't even there in chat. And it is so hard to know what people are trying to say in writings. I don't always make myself very clear or heard. Another character defect...and boy, are mine taking a beating today.
xxx
Lisa
That's all, nothing more. If I have a problem with you, you'll be the first to know. And so far, I have no problems...like I said, you're one of the reasons I got clean.
As far as Bob jumping in to stir the pot... please don't. Stay out of it. You weren't even there in chat. And it is so hard to know what people are trying to say in writings. I don't always make myself very clear or heard. Another character defect...and boy, are mine taking a beating today.
xxx
Lisa
Shower,
You wrote: "Why would anyone believe that an addiction is for life?"
Did you mean by that, "Why would anyone believe that being in ACTIVE ADDICTION is for life?"
The rest of your post makes better sense to me if you are talking about actively using a d.o.c. rather than the disease of addiction itself.
Cheers,
Gina
You wrote: "Why would anyone believe that an addiction is for life?"
Did you mean by that, "Why would anyone believe that being in ACTIVE ADDICTION is for life?"
The rest of your post makes better sense to me if you are talking about actively using a d.o.c. rather than the disease of addiction itself.
Cheers,
Gina
Cowgirl,
First of all please don't try and start that "Stir The Pot" nonsence, thats just silly.
My post was in responce to your post to Teresa only, didn't have anything to do with the chat I read, although that suprised me too.
In your post above and in chat since it was brought up, you talk about how Teresa picks people apart and so on. I was taken back a little is all to see you give your opinion in such a negative way of Teresa's choice of wording on how she posts here on the board. Sorry, I didn't realize I couldn't have an opinion. It's ok I guess that you voice in public how you think Teresa picks people apart but should that same finger be pointed back it's called stiring the pot. I wasn't gonna say anything until I saw how it was your opinion that I should stay out of it. If it's posted here it's everyones right to post in responce good or bad. When exactly did it become up to you to point out the lack of growth in anyone other than yourself? I'm not being mean here, just honestly replying to you saying I had no right. I was told when you point a finger you have three pointing right back at yourself. And your opinion of Teresa's posts is just that, your opinion, it's not fact. You really hurt my friend today with your words, and also the post above that you bumped up, but your pride wont allow you to admit you are wrong. Wrong for taking anothers inventory and wrong for doing it in public. If anything, in MY opinion, here and in chat your the one that comes off as self righteous and picking people apart. Now, when and if you read this, think about how my post here just made you feel, cause thats exactly how you made Teresa feel.
Take care...............Bob
First of all please don't try and start that "Stir The Pot" nonsence, thats just silly.
My post was in responce to your post to Teresa only, didn't have anything to do with the chat I read, although that suprised me too.
In your post above and in chat since it was brought up, you talk about how Teresa picks people apart and so on. I was taken back a little is all to see you give your opinion in such a negative way of Teresa's choice of wording on how she posts here on the board. Sorry, I didn't realize I couldn't have an opinion. It's ok I guess that you voice in public how you think Teresa picks people apart but should that same finger be pointed back it's called stiring the pot. I wasn't gonna say anything until I saw how it was your opinion that I should stay out of it. If it's posted here it's everyones right to post in responce good or bad. When exactly did it become up to you to point out the lack of growth in anyone other than yourself? I'm not being mean here, just honestly replying to you saying I had no right. I was told when you point a finger you have three pointing right back at yourself. And your opinion of Teresa's posts is just that, your opinion, it's not fact. You really hurt my friend today with your words, and also the post above that you bumped up, but your pride wont allow you to admit you are wrong. Wrong for taking anothers inventory and wrong for doing it in public. If anything, in MY opinion, here and in chat your the one that comes off as self righteous and picking people apart. Now, when and if you read this, think about how my post here just made you feel, cause thats exactly how you made Teresa feel.
Take care...............Bob
I didn't say Teresa picks people apart.
Show me where I said that directly to her. I was talking about me and people in general.
Again, every opinion is valid as is yours.
Why are you doing this?
Show me where I said that directly to her. I was talking about me and people in general.
Again, every opinion is valid as is yours.
Why are you doing this?
I think once you are an addict, you are an addict for life. I know I am. I am always addicted to something..pills, food, shopping.. I htink we just learn to manage it..difficult though it is...
Yeah Bob, I gotta say, I re-read this thread a couple times and fail to see where CG was out of line. I might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but am I missing something?
Regards,
Tom
Regards,
Tom
sorry to say that cg... and I really shouldnt say.... but yes you did... you did directly in chat say that directly to me... that I pick people apart and if my memory serves completley correctly.. you also went on to say that is what I do best... 'darlin'... but.. that is one of the many 'character defects' of mine that were eleborated on in that post and in chat that I am currently looking at in regard to this thread and this board.... so rest easy folks...
as for bob... he read the chat as he lives with gina and she was there... so to all those that are confused regarding these latest posts.. there is a little more going on than meets the eye.. as I have eluded to in my posts... ie.. the post specifically saying self-righteous and picking apart people, the bump up for teresa post.. (btw,, what was I supposed to think that wasnt about me in any way?)and the chat conversation where i asked off board what was up with all that .. ( I think i said that all in previous posts to clear up the confusion..) but ... cg.. you have been on my side of the fense before when bob or someone has been around to 'stir the pot' to use your words to help make defend you if you will and help make the other person see a point only this time it isnt that side of the fense you sit....
I am truely sorry that this all happend... I wont and havent said anything regarding your inventory.. and I wont... I will take my list of 'defect' and look at them.. I only wish as I said today that this could have been brought to me by you in private as nobody likes to be called self righteous and told that they pick people apart on a public board by a friend.. true or not... that is what it hurt... period.. if it wasnt intended for me directly then why bump it up for me... ?... and then the chat conversation.... ?.... i dont know... I am not the sharpest tool in the shed either but a blind man can feel that with a cane... and this is not just about this thread and we know it....
I am again sorry for the confusion, the hurt feeling, and all the problems of today... and please understand that sometimes we all act out of knee jerk reactions sometimes because we care for someone.. that is not an exuse or justification .. just an explaination....
God bless us all
Teresa
as for bob... he read the chat as he lives with gina and she was there... so to all those that are confused regarding these latest posts.. there is a little more going on than meets the eye.. as I have eluded to in my posts... ie.. the post specifically saying self-righteous and picking apart people, the bump up for teresa post.. (btw,, what was I supposed to think that wasnt about me in any way?)and the chat conversation where i asked off board what was up with all that .. ( I think i said that all in previous posts to clear up the confusion..) but ... cg.. you have been on my side of the fense before when bob or someone has been around to 'stir the pot' to use your words to help make defend you if you will and help make the other person see a point only this time it isnt that side of the fense you sit....
I am truely sorry that this all happend... I wont and havent said anything regarding your inventory.. and I wont... I will take my list of 'defect' and look at them.. I only wish as I said today that this could have been brought to me by you in private as nobody likes to be called self righteous and told that they pick people apart on a public board by a friend.. true or not... that is what it hurt... period.. if it wasnt intended for me directly then why bump it up for me... ?... and then the chat conversation.... ?.... i dont know... I am not the sharpest tool in the shed either but a blind man can feel that with a cane... and this is not just about this thread and we know it....
I am again sorry for the confusion, the hurt feeling, and all the problems of today... and please understand that sometimes we all act out of knee jerk reactions sometimes because we care for someone.. that is not an exuse or justification .. just an explaination....
God bless us all
Teresa