Betsy You can't give up, I know how you feel, I feel the same way sometimes, you posted to me a few days ago when I said that I did not feel like I had the right to post to other people because I was not clean yet, I am going to paste your response to me:
Paula, I am not completely clean either, but I do feel I can offer support to people on this board. So don't beat yourself up, keep trying (once we quit trying, we're done) and keep posting. Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite!
what you posted above really helped me that night because I was getting to the point where I was just accepting my addiction, your post made me realize that you can never give up, we can not do this, we have to keep fighting back we have to, for ourselves, so please dont give up we need each other.
Paula and Betsy.........you are both very strong, smart, compassionate women. When you learn to be as kind to yourselves as you are to the rest of
us, you will beat this thing! And in the meanwhile, we'll be here for you, using or not. What you both have to offer others on this board is greatly needed!
I love ya, girls!
Betsy,
First of all let me say WELL DONE for admitting whats going on, that has taken a hugh amount of courage, and that is the first step to making a change I am proud of you for that! for being able to trust us to tell us the truth xxx
I am echoing whats been said above, you CANT give up babe, we need you xxx
read over your response to Paula again and again till it sinks in, you will get there, you just need to NOT give up, and whatever you do DO NOT leave the board, you never know it may give you that extra something that makes you stop!!!!!!............
sending you (((((((((((((((STRENGTH))))))))))))))) You are a wonderful person Betsy, you know what you have to do babe xxx
GOODLUCK
Love
Gabs
First of all let me say WELL DONE for admitting whats going on, that has taken a hugh amount of courage, and that is the first step to making a change I am proud of you for that! for being able to trust us to tell us the truth xxx
I am echoing whats been said above, you CANT give up babe, we need you xxx
read over your response to Paula again and again till it sinks in, you will get there, you just need to NOT give up, and whatever you do DO NOT leave the board, you never know it may give you that extra something that makes you stop!!!!!!............
sending you (((((((((((((((STRENGTH))))))))))))))) You are a wonderful person Betsy, you know what you have to do babe xxx
GOODLUCK
Love
Gabs
Carol, you are such a kind person. Always quick to respond with a word of encouragement or a stern word of advise when needed, but always filled with compassion. Thank you. You are one of the ones that keeps me coming back here.
Betsy/Paula, don't ever give up. That would be your biggest mistake. They say it takes at least 7 tries for a an addicted smoker to quit for good, so imagine it may take that or more for us. That's not an excuse to keep going back to the pills, but it is encouragement when we slide, to get back on the rung of the ladder and start the climb back up. One stair at at time, eventually you reach the landing pad.
Betsy/Paula, don't ever give up. That would be your biggest mistake. They say it takes at least 7 tries for a an addicted smoker to quit for good, so imagine it may take that or more for us. That's not an excuse to keep going back to the pills, but it is encouragement when we slide, to get back on the rung of the ladder and start the climb back up. One stair at at time, eventually you reach the landing pad.
Better.........you never know when you talk to someone what kind of day they are having or how they are feeling. You just made me day, thank you. I really needed a kind word this morning and some encouragement, and you just gave it to me. Thanks again! And I will be here for you anytime. Hope you are having a good day today.
Betsy,Its funny how I can be on the board 7 I get so carried away with my own thing that I forget there are people out there that are reaching out.Forgive me for sometimes I do just run through the post.I read one of yours from the other day.No it didnt bring me to tears though it was very sad.It made me mad.When you said about your family it reminded me that I was NOT the ONLY person that had/has a bad family that wouldnt know a good person if they kick them in the shins.I want you to know I am 37 years old and I am just now barely starting to deal with the baggage I let my family lay on me.My mom has not & probaly never will forgive the messed up teenager or the drugged out adult I was.THE WORD IS WAS.I have been clean from Ultram since Jan 4 2004.I was taken 15 + pills a day.I often lost track of how many.I also used 10-14 OTC sleeping pills every nite.I always hated to FEEL.It was just too painful to feel how my family didnt like me or that I was just a burden to them.After a while blaming your family gets old & you realize that you made the choices you did & you cant undo them.But you can take control of your own destiny.God Im babbling because I can JUST UNDERSTAND YOUR FEELINGS Im just real bad at writing it down.Im not even gonna start saying you should stop usen(you know you should)I will say I would like if you stick around.There is so much to learn here about yourself about others about life.I guess thats what this reply is about...I WANT YOU TO STAY>>>>>>mj
Thank you MJ, for relating. I'm carrying around baggage from my childhool and I'm 45. I'm the youngest of 8 kids and I literally knocked over the Christmas tree one year just to get attention, even tho it certainly was negative. Once I turned to drugs, I didn't have to worry about attention from my family, I got it from my druggie friends, even tho now I know it was just superficial.
In my mind I know my folks did the best they did, but in my gut I say"Why the F*** did you have all those kids if you didn't have the time of day to give them?"
There are other issues too, not physical abuse like some have endured, but just plain negligence. Not financially, we were given college money, but in my family you were taught NEVER to come to parents with problems; even now, you paint a rosey picture, nothing is ever wrong, it's all good or they don't want to hear it.
You are right, blaming your family gets old and I'm tired of it, but how do I let it go?
In my mind I know my folks did the best they did, but in my gut I say"Why the F*** did you have all those kids if you didn't have the time of day to give them?"
There are other issues too, not physical abuse like some have endured, but just plain negligence. Not financially, we were given college money, but in my family you were taught NEVER to come to parents with problems; even now, you paint a rosey picture, nothing is ever wrong, it's all good or they don't want to hear it.
You are right, blaming your family gets old and I'm tired of it, but how do I let it go?
betsy,
wow how i relate, yep my family lives in never never land. it's so unrealistic. very much so a miserable way to live trying to pretend to be someone your expected to be. being an actress is hard work and painfull. even then when you feel like you are the being what your family wants and expects from you they just smack you down. i know i been there. your singing my song, and geuss what it took me 35 years to realise i am never going to change my family. but i can change how i choose to look at that. 1st of all it is definately not normal and in my opinion is a form of abuse all its own. but once i realised its not anything i have done.i dont fit in because i choose not to anymore. i am much happier being me. i dont wanna be anyone other then just who i am. i am like me and so do alot of other people. i also realised the phrase blood is thicker then water is b.s. families come in many forms. i have friends that treat me better then family. they are the ones who i turn to and count on.blood is only good if you need a transfusion and even then i'll donate to myself hehehe. well thats at least how it works for me and my family. i love them at a distance. i know longer let them rent space in my head or let them have the power to effect how my day goes. they have to except me in all my glory or not at all. i have my own kids to look out for and be an example too. the only thing i can say my parents taught me was what not to do and i vowed to do everything they didnt do. that makes me a pretty damn good mom and for there mistakes i thank them.
terrianne
wow how i relate, yep my family lives in never never land. it's so unrealistic. very much so a miserable way to live trying to pretend to be someone your expected to be. being an actress is hard work and painfull. even then when you feel like you are the being what your family wants and expects from you they just smack you down. i know i been there. your singing my song, and geuss what it took me 35 years to realise i am never going to change my family. but i can change how i choose to look at that. 1st of all it is definately not normal and in my opinion is a form of abuse all its own. but once i realised its not anything i have done.i dont fit in because i choose not to anymore. i am much happier being me. i dont wanna be anyone other then just who i am. i am like me and so do alot of other people. i also realised the phrase blood is thicker then water is b.s. families come in many forms. i have friends that treat me better then family. they are the ones who i turn to and count on.blood is only good if you need a transfusion and even then i'll donate to myself hehehe. well thats at least how it works for me and my family. i love them at a distance. i know longer let them rent space in my head or let them have the power to effect how my day goes. they have to except me in all my glory or not at all. i have my own kids to look out for and be an example too. the only thing i can say my parents taught me was what not to do and i vowed to do everything they didnt do. that makes me a pretty damn good mom and for there mistakes i thank them.
terrianne
Boo-
That's the first laugh I've had in several days "Blood is only good if you need a transfusion!" I'm gonna sleep on it and talk to you guys tomorrow on my day off. Sweet dreams, and thanks to you and everyone who've responded.
That's the first laugh I've had in several days "Blood is only good if you need a transfusion!" I'm gonna sleep on it and talk to you guys tomorrow on my day off. Sweet dreams, and thanks to you and everyone who've responded.
Betsy I am so glad to see that you are feeling better. Welcome back.
My family is very controlling if i would let them be. Took me about 40 yrs. to take back my life and if I am not careful some days they pull right back with guilt especially with my mom.
I also have a family, a son I am trying to clean up,(good so far) will tell that story to anyone who wants to know.
Be strong and I will remember what u said.
God Bless, Kyra
I also have a family, a son I am trying to clean up,(good so far) will tell that story to anyone who wants to know.
Be strong and I will remember what u said.
God Bless, Kyra
