i have been clean off dope for almost a month. i have been using methadone and suboxone which i got illegally from people i know who sell it.
when i am on either methadone or suboxone; everything is fine. i dont get the physical or emotional symptoms of withdrawal. but when i stop taking whichever one im taking at that given time; all hell breaks loose; i guess i am not weaning slowly enough?
one problem is, its always the same old rat race in getting/buying meth/bupes as it was with scoring dope. i go as long as i can without anything, about a day and a half or so, which normally results in a mental meltdown, and then the search begins to track down some pills to take these hellish symptoms away, which basically consist of general anxiety, restlessness, feelings that im going to literally crack mentally, i cry at the drop of a hat, get frustrated over little things. pretty much CANNOT function on a day to day basis. now, what makes things complicated is that i already suffer from diagnosed severe depression and anxiety (the reason i started getting high in the first place). i am trying now to find something that will help these underlying problems, and i am looking in the direction of antidepressants like ssri's. now, i have taken almost all of them, and none of them ever worked for me.
basically i am asking now is, what are my options? im planning on making an appointment with my shrink tomorrow, but he is not an addictions specialist. i am hoping he will point me in the right direction as far as antidepressants go, because i really am a mental basketcase, and i do not want to, cannot, live like this anymore. i have more important things in my life to worry about now, but i can not seem to get past this heroin addiction.
should i try more ssri's? should i get on a meth program, and slowly wean? should i get on a bupe program where i slowly wean?
damn these meth pills. they are both a blessing and a curse. they make me feel normal, and i dont need dope, but at the same time i am trading one drug for another. i realize i may need to be on an antidepressant for the rest of my life, and i do not want to continue to chase black market meth and bupes because it just is not a permanent solution.
suggestions? advice? thoughts? id appreciate anything at this point. thanks for taking the time to read this.
kristi
I have the same struggle I've been on a lot of meds off/on over the years. I think i screw them all up i have a bit of a drinking issue. I'm a addict of Opportunity mostly. I don't know how sober i honestly want to be. Thou i'm nearly 3 years off junk""" H"" i've had a coke, methadone, benzo, Percocet binges . I'm seeing a counslor i'm getting legal valuim and a anti depresent celexa.I drink on both i get xanax bars from my brother my brain hurts from it all. I tell myself i'm going to do it right strigthen up and all that jazz i can't get my butt my order. It's a constant hassle. Seems so dumb and self defeating to keep running the hamster wheel yet i get on it everyday circle around and round. Sure that's none to helpful to hear. I can't even say i'm recovering anymore i can only say i'm not shooting up!. I want answers to your question to for myself.
yeah its like where the hell am i supposed to go from here? as i may have mentioned before i am going to my shrink next week and i am hoping he will be able to help me sort this out and make a good, educated decision regarding what antidepressant i should take or a combination of several types of drugs. i really am dreading going through this cycle of trying drugs that most likely will not work, but what else can i do?? i feel like i have no choice but to try more drugs. but its always in the back of my mind that i will try these drugs, they will not work, i will feel defeated, depressed, and hopeless and will relapse. wow what an effing mess my life is. blah.
I might be off on this...but it appears to me that coming off of anything is always the same...you've just swicthed opiates as far i can see...you've got to stay on the meth and taper down..but you have to take it every day...wean the dose...it may have absolutly nothing to do with your mental health per say...just the WDs when coming off...i can go just about the same...day and a half and then if i dont dose i get pretty much the same symptoms and more...mine seem more physical though my head will feel pretty fragile...think if i were you i'd go to the doc and get a regular meth or sub dose and let the doc regulate it ...your hitting withdrawal...it doesnt get better just cuz you go a day or so..or change DOC....you either go through it or get on something that allows you to cope and then wean the dose down after awhile...hope that made some sense...im not all that awake here this morning
Get a proper script for subs - they're easier to come off than meth. Accept that it's a long term project - took me 9 months of maintenance and a further 9 months of reduction to get off opiates. And get the anti-d's, stick with them - for a long term problem you need a long term solution. There are no easy ways out, no easy options, but it's worth it to get a life back.
best o' british
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best o' british
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