Is making a car payment so he can look for work enabling? Of course the problem is he took his title to a title place where they are like loan sharks charging 300%, he isn't working and to get a job needs a car. If I make this payment is this wrong? Or do I let them come take the car and he will never get a job? No public transportation where we live.
There is a lot of unanswered questions in your original post.
Bottom line: If he wanted a job he would get it.
If he wanted a drug or drink he would quickly find it without your help.....
Is he going to meetings? They will be more important than a job.
Without the meetings he will lose the job and car anyway.
Drive him to the meetings where he will find job opportunities from the members.
Your local Al-Anon & Nar-Anon group(s) will be able to help you with this situation.
All the best.
Bob R
Bottom line: If he wanted a job he would get it.
If he wanted a drug or drink he would quickly find it without your help.....
Is he going to meetings? They will be more important than a job.
Without the meetings he will lose the job and car anyway.
Drive him to the meetings where he will find job opportunities from the members.
Your local Al-Anon & Nar-Anon group(s) will be able to help you with this situation.
All the best.
Bob R
My husband wants him out. He is living with us since last year when he had surgery. He's an adult, on parole, and I am in the middle. Every time I set it up for us to talk to him about going to meetings or rehab, my husband flies off the handle, literally screaming, about nonsense like you have mail here when are you going to take care of it, or get your room cleaned up. Then son walks away and hibernates in his room, very depressed. I try to talk with my husband and he starts screaming at me. He was working and lost his job. He needs to work to pay his debts or they will take the car and if they take the car away, we are the ones who are loosing as my husband bought it for him and he will not be driven around as he says .
Son seems to think if he goes to rehab they will revoke his probation and if I call and ask I am told he's an adult stay out of it, he will either end up in jail or dead. How is that helping a person by staying out of it?
Son seems to think if he goes to rehab they will revoke his probation and if I call and ask I am told he's an adult stay out of it, he will either end up in jail or dead. How is that helping a person by staying out of it?
I feel like a prisoner in my home. Afraid to leave as I know my husband will start arguing with him, not worried about son but more my husband so he doesn't have a stroke. And If we leave and he doesn't have money will he take from us again or worse be stupid and go out and do something? I can't handle it anymore. Last night son said do you want me here or to leave? I said you know the requirements of staying here and yet you tell us you made calls but do not know if he did. How long do we wait for him to tell us? I keep saying to my husband you can lead a horse to water but can't make him drink. If I throw him out I am afraid he will be stupid again and end up in jail or dead.
How long do I wait for him to go for help when he refuses?
I have no other support. My other sons are completely disgusted and don't want to hear it anymore. I feel I am alone. I call counselors and drug specialists and following what they tell me but can't figure out what is right. They told me treat him like he has an illness. Don't scream accuse. Just let him know you will be there for him when he is ready for treatment. Then my husband and children were badgering me everyday when are you making him go. I thought this wasn't my fault but they sure as hell make it feel like it is.
So any suggestions??
How long do I wait for him to go for help when he refuses?
I have no other support. My other sons are completely disgusted and don't want to hear it anymore. I feel I am alone. I call counselors and drug specialists and following what they tell me but can't figure out what is right. They told me treat him like he has an illness. Don't scream accuse. Just let him know you will be there for him when he is ready for treatment. Then my husband and children were badgering me everyday when are you making him go. I thought this wasn't my fault but they sure as hell make it feel like it is.
So any suggestions??
You have great support and guidance in Al-Anon and Nar-Anon. Look them up.
And do what they suggest ..... what you are doing now isn't working too well.
All the best.
Bob
And do what they suggest ..... what you are doing now isn't working too well.
All the best.
Bob
