Hi
I need some advice on dealing with the effects of meth, not for me for my b/f. He was using heroin went I met him something I did not find out for 8 months into the relationship. We have now been together for 2 and half years. He is on a meth program and has been for about 18mth and says hes been clean for a couple of months. The problem is I keep finding syringes etc around our house hidden, when I ask him he denies it and says he found them in the house from where he used to hide them. I understand that he has urges I just wish he didn't lie about it.
Since he has been on meth he suffers alot from mood swings and aggression. He will often get quite aggressive over petty things like who took the dog out etc. I have never dealt with anything like this and he says I don't understand what hes going to and its the meth that makes him like this.
I have done some reading and have found out a lot about meth, but not a lot tells you how to deal with the mental side of it. He says I make him worse by the way I react to him when he gets angry, which can be quite frightening. I understand that the meth pushes him over the line but I just cannot seem to help him or make it easier.
We argue frequently and he says that cos of this he finds it hard to get stable on meth. When he is in a good mood he is amazing and caring it just all goes out of the window 10mins later. Could anyone about the mental side of meth and its affect on aggression, the mind, libido etc.
Thanks
buttons
xxx
buttons,
For starters, you are not talking to your b/f. You are talking to the drug. You will always be talking to the drug as long as he is using. Don't buy into the blame game. He is the way he is because of the drug, not because of you. He is paranoid, he will distort reality, and he wants you to feel guilty for his behavior. Paranoia comes with using meth. You are not responsible for how he acts, thinks, or behaves. You cannot reason with someone who is using this drug.
You did not cause it, you cannot control it, and you cannot cure it.
The most loving thing my former wife did for me was to leave. She refused to see me and would not allow me to see my children until I was sober. We stay with addicts not because we love them. We stay with them because we are sick. Sick is not a judgment, but rather a mental state, my thinking was not very healthy. Most co-addicts don't want to admit that. I surely didn't want to admit that when I was dealing with my meth addicted son and my alcoholic wife. Think about doing what is in your best interest, not his. Trust your intuition.
He will have to hit a bottom before he's ready to get help. Hang in there.
Paul
For starters, you are not talking to your b/f. You are talking to the drug. You will always be talking to the drug as long as he is using. Don't buy into the blame game. He is the way he is because of the drug, not because of you. He is paranoid, he will distort reality, and he wants you to feel guilty for his behavior. Paranoia comes with using meth. You are not responsible for how he acts, thinks, or behaves. You cannot reason with someone who is using this drug.
You did not cause it, you cannot control it, and you cannot cure it.
The most loving thing my former wife did for me was to leave. She refused to see me and would not allow me to see my children until I was sober. We stay with addicts not because we love them. We stay with them because we are sick. Sick is not a judgment, but rather a mental state, my thinking was not very healthy. Most co-addicts don't want to admit that. I surely didn't want to admit that when I was dealing with my meth addicted son and my alcoholic wife. Think about doing what is in your best interest, not his. Trust your intuition.
He will have to hit a bottom before he's ready to get help. Hang in there.
Paul
I'm sorry, but it really sounds like he is still using heroin and that would be more likely to cause the "side effects" you are describing than methadone. Heroin causes mood swings along with all the other behavior you are describing. It also would explain all the lies and defensive behavior (not to mention the syringes all over your house). Ask him the truth but be prepared that there is a good chance he will just lie to you. If he is not ready to tell the truth he is not ready to get clean.
I never had any of the things you describe that I could attribute to the meth. It does lower the libido though, but not as much as heroin. It was weird, when I was first on gear, it used to make me horny, but it's not long before you realise that orgasm is not going to happen, no matter how much you try, and it's not long before sex becomes pointless. Some men are unable to get an erection whilst on anything from 25mls of meth upwards, but not all.
best wishes
diff
best wishes
diff
Hi
Thankyou everyone for your help. I have been reading the other posts on the board too. I can't believe how many people are going through this be it alone or with their partners. The messages are helping me understand him a bit better.
Things are quite strained at the mo cos we're trying to sell our house and move to another area, hopefully this may help. I find the more stuff there is to do the more unmotivated and moody he becomes. its really hard sometimes and I just wish he could see it from my point of view and how hard it is not to end up in a row, when he can be so argumentative.
I am not painting a very good picture of him to you! He is trying, his counciler wants him to start reducing by 2ml a fortnight, so thats a positive. Sometimes he will open upto me and tell me what its like and how he feels but this only happens once a blue moon, but at least he will talk to me about it all.
Sorry I'm babbling on a bit, just sounding off really!!! Thankyou all again for your advice.
Buttons
Thankyou everyone for your help. I have been reading the other posts on the board too. I can't believe how many people are going through this be it alone or with their partners. The messages are helping me understand him a bit better.
Things are quite strained at the mo cos we're trying to sell our house and move to another area, hopefully this may help. I find the more stuff there is to do the more unmotivated and moody he becomes. its really hard sometimes and I just wish he could see it from my point of view and how hard it is not to end up in a row, when he can be so argumentative.
I am not painting a very good picture of him to you! He is trying, his counciler wants him to start reducing by 2ml a fortnight, so thats a positive. Sometimes he will open upto me and tell me what its like and how he feels but this only happens once a blue moon, but at least he will talk to me about it all.
Sorry I'm babbling on a bit, just sounding off really!!! Thankyou all again for your advice.
Buttons
Buttons,
I have never known anyone to become aggressive or violent as a result of meth. I assume you're talking about methadone not crystal meth? Right? I've been on it for several years (this time round) and many of the side effects do subside or at least lessen as time goes by. But you say your bf has been on it how long? After a month I would expect the body has pretty much adjusted to the methadone. I don't nod anymore. Only if I take more methadone than I'm supposed to or use another drug in conjunction with it. But it still zaps my energy and I find myself needing a nap a few hours after dosing. It's not great for motivation either. I also went through a spell in the first year when I was injecting my methadone. It resulted in the same rush-effect, severe nods, secretive behavior and isolation. And I agree with Diff about the libido part. Some other side effects that stay with you are hot flashes, night sweats, constipation, and for some people, weight gain.
I hope some of this was helpful.
Luv,
h-girl
I have never known anyone to become aggressive or violent as a result of meth. I assume you're talking about methadone not crystal meth? Right? I've been on it for several years (this time round) and many of the side effects do subside or at least lessen as time goes by. But you say your bf has been on it how long? After a month I would expect the body has pretty much adjusted to the methadone. I don't nod anymore. Only if I take more methadone than I'm supposed to or use another drug in conjunction with it. But it still zaps my energy and I find myself needing a nap a few hours after dosing. It's not great for motivation either. I also went through a spell in the first year when I was injecting my methadone. It resulted in the same rush-effect, severe nods, secretive behavior and isolation. And I agree with Diff about the libido part. Some other side effects that stay with you are hot flashes, night sweats, constipation, and for some people, weight gain.
I hope some of this was helpful.
Luv,
h-girl
