hi all, hope everyone had a great christmas and new year.
i'd love some feedback from people who have stopped using gear - either totally or on top of methadone.
i obviously understand the meaning of "one day at a time" but find it almost impossible to put into practice.
if i tell myself something along the lines of "you can get some gear tomorrow so just get through today" to help me get through the day, i find that i've almost set myself up to fail as i am then expecting gear the next day!! once i have that thought in my head, i find it nearly impossible to override and say no.
how have people used the concept of one day at a time in a way that works!?
and how did people work through that type of all consuming need?
thank you in advance!
Hey JAR,
Welcome to the board.........there's alot of us on here who have clean time in.
All kinds of folks over here.........no doubt you'll get some very good advice.
Yeah self-sabbotage, right?........I used to say to myself......."It's a trick. Don't pay it no mind"..........didn't always work.........just like you're saying cause we talk ourselves into it............and then here comes day two and you're back to X amount of bags and more within a week.
Kind of worked for me was no matter how bad the day went.........once I had gotten say like two weeks in..........ya feel fairly better and just one here and there, and here is now there...........it's in your hand.
They say "You pick up before you pick up".........I believe that.........like how long is it in your head the planning............and ya may make it a few days and there ya go.............so no matter how bad the day and ya made it through just say "It wasn't that bad".............sets ya up for the opposite like "I can do this thing yet another day"............like it don't mean one day at a time so the next day don't count so use........if that makes sense?
You want it so you can do this...........definately........if it means anything I got like three years and some months in...........and if my sorry butt can do it anyone can...........definately........there's really good people will post to ya who are on methadone as well..........I'm not but they can give you insight on that.
Again welcome and hope that helped...............BTW, NA some people who where the basis of that "One Day At A Time" comes from........I believe....lots of people that NA has saved their lives too..........and hopefully they will share....some of us here didn't do a program..........some do........everyone is different so all good things for you and yeah it's gonna say "Feed Me"......calls ya.........and the more ya ignore it...........maybe come post or something you can get through it.......nice to see ya post.
Welcome to the board.........there's alot of us on here who have clean time in.
All kinds of folks over here.........no doubt you'll get some very good advice.
Yeah self-sabbotage, right?........I used to say to myself......."It's a trick. Don't pay it no mind"..........didn't always work.........just like you're saying cause we talk ourselves into it............and then here comes day two and you're back to X amount of bags and more within a week.
Kind of worked for me was no matter how bad the day went.........once I had gotten say like two weeks in..........ya feel fairly better and just one here and there, and here is now there...........it's in your hand.
They say "You pick up before you pick up".........I believe that.........like how long is it in your head the planning............and ya may make it a few days and there ya go.............so no matter how bad the day and ya made it through just say "It wasn't that bad".............sets ya up for the opposite like "I can do this thing yet another day"............like it don't mean one day at a time so the next day don't count so use........if that makes sense?
You want it so you can do this...........definately........if it means anything I got like three years and some months in...........and if my sorry butt can do it anyone can...........definately........there's really good people will post to ya who are on methadone as well..........I'm not but they can give you insight on that.
Again welcome and hope that helped...............BTW, NA some people who where the basis of that "One Day At A Time" comes from........I believe....lots of people that NA has saved their lives too..........and hopefully they will share....some of us here didn't do a program..........some do........everyone is different so all good things for you and yeah it's gonna say "Feed Me"......calls ya.........and the more ya ignore it...........maybe come post or something you can get through it.......nice to see ya post.
nice one bryn, thanks for replying! that really is a better way of looking at it - ie. i can do it rather than rewarding myself by using!! not quite the aim!
i can imagine the more days you do, the easier it is. i hope so cos it's quite hard not to be thinking about gear in some form or other most of the day!
i can imagine the more days you do, the easier it is. i hope so cos it's quite hard not to be thinking about gear in some form or other most of the day!
Hi JAR, you gotta consider what your motivation to score is. Is it because you're in withdrawals, or is it because something has happened during the day that you feel you can't deal with, or is it just because you feel like a hit, sort of out of habit, for want of a better word. I found it easier to say to myself that heroin will always be out there, I can score whenever I like, but in the meantime, my life is dripping away. I kinda visualised an egg timer, and the sand keeps on trickling away. How much more of it do you want to waste, doing the same stupid thing every day.
You have to make a firm decision about what you want. Once you've done that, it gets much easier, it really does. I've been clean from smack since May 2005. I still occassionally have thoughts about scoring, but I tell myself I'll review the situation in the morning, and see if I still feel the same way. Invariably, common sense prevails, and I realise it's not worth it, I got too much to lose. Either that or I just feel like I can't be bothered, got too much living to do to waste time playing dead.
I want to be someone I can be proud of. Getting off heroin gave me back my self-respect. And I ain't just gonna give that away coz somebody pissed me off, or I'm feeling full of self pity. Those moments where I feel in pain and just can't cope, well experience, clean-time, has taught me that actually, I can and do cope pretty well. The more clean time you have, the more you recognise you're own patterns of destructive behaviour. So instead of flying off the handle at the first sign of trouble, you learn to wait, and those feelings subside, and you just get on with it.
You have to break those patterns of behaviour. At first it feels daunting, but you've really only got to concentrate on one thing. You do whatever you have to do to make yourself feel better, as long as it does not involve destroying yourself. Sometimes there's nothing you can do, except wait and let time do it's thing. In the beginning, that can feel very scarey, but the more practice you get, the easier it becomes. Most of the rest of the world has to cope without heroin, and why should you be an exception? You learn to pull yourself up by the bootstraps, put on a smiley face, and stop wallowing under the misapprehension that you're a special case. I know I'm not painting a particularly nice picture of being clean, but believe me, you end up getting a kick out of knowing just how strong you are. And it makes you feel good to know that you've kicked that whining little addict who's made your life hell well into touch, and you're back in the driving seat. You're in control, and no damned addiction is gonna tell you that you're weak and pathetic, and can't cope without some drug to lean on.
And 2 and a half years on? I'm so glad I'm clean, and I wouldn't trade places with the person I was for anything. I'm just full of relief that it's over.
take care
Diff x
You have to make a firm decision about what you want. Once you've done that, it gets much easier, it really does. I've been clean from smack since May 2005. I still occassionally have thoughts about scoring, but I tell myself I'll review the situation in the morning, and see if I still feel the same way. Invariably, common sense prevails, and I realise it's not worth it, I got too much to lose. Either that or I just feel like I can't be bothered, got too much living to do to waste time playing dead.
I want to be someone I can be proud of. Getting off heroin gave me back my self-respect. And I ain't just gonna give that away coz somebody pissed me off, or I'm feeling full of self pity. Those moments where I feel in pain and just can't cope, well experience, clean-time, has taught me that actually, I can and do cope pretty well. The more clean time you have, the more you recognise you're own patterns of destructive behaviour. So instead of flying off the handle at the first sign of trouble, you learn to wait, and those feelings subside, and you just get on with it.
You have to break those patterns of behaviour. At first it feels daunting, but you've really only got to concentrate on one thing. You do whatever you have to do to make yourself feel better, as long as it does not involve destroying yourself. Sometimes there's nothing you can do, except wait and let time do it's thing. In the beginning, that can feel very scarey, but the more practice you get, the easier it becomes. Most of the rest of the world has to cope without heroin, and why should you be an exception? You learn to pull yourself up by the bootstraps, put on a smiley face, and stop wallowing under the misapprehension that you're a special case. I know I'm not painting a particularly nice picture of being clean, but believe me, you end up getting a kick out of knowing just how strong you are. And it makes you feel good to know that you've kicked that whining little addict who's made your life hell well into touch, and you're back in the driving seat. You're in control, and no damned addiction is gonna tell you that you're weak and pathetic, and can't cope without some drug to lean on.
And 2 and a half years on? I'm so glad I'm clean, and I wouldn't trade places with the person I was for anything. I'm just full of relief that it's over.
take care
Diff x
Had to say - real good post Dif- (as usual)
JAR-Welcome *
JAR-Welcome *
Hey JAR, on a lighter note, I'll tell you something my drug worker once told me. "In moments of crisis, eat as much chocolate as necessary to allieviate the situation..."
Sometimes it takes a while to truely understand that you are your own saviour, and you DO have a choice. All ya gotta do is make a choice. You are to blame for all your phuck ups, and it's only you who can remedy that. It's never too late, as long as you're still breathing.
take care
Diff x
ps. I never sugar coat my pills - I find it makes them less effective.
Sometimes it takes a while to truely understand that you are your own saviour, and you DO have a choice. All ya gotta do is make a choice. You are to blame for all your phuck ups, and it's only you who can remedy that. It's never too late, as long as you're still breathing.
take care
Diff x
ps. I never sugar coat my pills - I find it makes them less effective.
Diff, always eloquent and amazing.
Hang in there JAR and please let us know how ya are.
Hang in there JAR and please let us know how ya are.
