I found an e-mail(wasn't spying) sent to Tony by a woman he was dating when we were broken up...I can't believe she is still contacting him...I felt sick to my stomach as I read it. I trust him and pretty much know where he is all the time, so I don't think he is cheating....or am I deluding myself.I felt like calling my MD and getting 30 oxycodones..I sat in my car and cried and waited an hour. It's not that big of a deal...she just said how much she missed him...I saw a picture of her and she is very pretty.Right now I have no self-confidence...I feel like a hurt little kid. I know he loves me, but this feeling of helplessness is what made me want to use in the past. We are engaged....what does this woman want?9Duh!) I have no way of knowing if he e-mailed her first. I am in grid-lock mode...I don't want to ruin 36 days...help!! Sharonn
Email her back, tell her your engaged and a crazy wench and if she doesnt go away then you will f*** her up bad. Tell her tony allows you to check all of his business and this is her LAST warning.
Oh, tell tony what happened and what you did. Tell him YOU WILL HOLD HIM responsible for any f-ups. It is ultimatley his fault. Last warning there too. Hold her head high, you get that self esteem back right NOW...Im telling you the oxy WILL MAKE IT WORSE!!!!!.
Sharonn, BREATHE...whatever you do, DON'T pick up, it will only make you feel worse and you know this. Show your man and this other woman that you are stronger than they. Come on, you can do this. If I were in your shoes, this would definitly make me NOT want to use, just to prove to your man and the other woman that You don't need the pills. Hang in there and CONFRONT your man with this email and tell him to put a halt to it or get the Hell out. When you confront him and tell him to put a halt to this woman's emails, make sure you are right there beside him to make sure he is doing what he is suppose to be doing and saying what he should be saying to this other woman. You deserve to hear and read everything that is said between the two of them. After he has corresponded with her and told her, NO MORE CONTACT, get him to change his email addy immediately and delete the other one. Take Care.
Sharon
A pill isn't going to change life. It will change the way you feel about it, but eventually you will run out of pills and then what? Have you talked to your husband about her contacting him? If you know he loves you, try not to obsess about it. I can understand you being hurt but, honey, a pill will just make things magnified a million times worse. Is there someone you can call to talk to? Friends, family, a sponsor? Don't get those pills. It is not going to be any better than it was the last time and it usually gets worse.
A pill isn't going to change life. It will change the way you feel about it, but eventually you will run out of pills and then what? Have you talked to your husband about her contacting him? If you know he loves you, try not to obsess about it. I can understand you being hurt but, honey, a pill will just make things magnified a million times worse. Is there someone you can call to talk to? Friends, family, a sponsor? Don't get those pills. It is not going to be any better than it was the last time and it usually gets worse.
Sharonn...
I've been lurking on this board since last February...I've seen your struggles and when I read this post, I felt your pain...There's a saying when I down and vulnerable and have the temptation to numb my feelings that I keep reciting to myself..."Play the tape all the way through"..take it all the way to the end...the depression, no motivation, the feeling of just not wanting to wake up...
This e-mail your fiance received is probably nothing at all...don't throw away your soberity..you have worked hard at this. Go back to when you relapsed and read your posts..I know you really, truly don't want to go down that road again...
Hang in there, and take it minute by minute if you need to, just don't use...
Take care
I've been lurking on this board since last February...I've seen your struggles and when I read this post, I felt your pain...There's a saying when I down and vulnerable and have the temptation to numb my feelings that I keep reciting to myself..."Play the tape all the way through"..take it all the way to the end...the depression, no motivation, the feeling of just not wanting to wake up...
This e-mail your fiance received is probably nothing at all...don't throw away your soberity..you have worked hard at this. Go back to when you relapsed and read your posts..I know you really, truly don't want to go down that road again...
Hang in there, and take it minute by minute if you need to, just don't use...
Take care
Thank you so much for your replies....I did play the tape all the way through, and i will not allow anyone to take my power away...I will have to confront him...but in a way I am curious to find out the truth on my own. Years and years ago, I confronted a girl he was dating before me and asked her straight up if she was still interested in him...and what was going on...she was pretty honest and I was embarrassed, but I didn't want to be played for a fool.I am not normally a jealous person, and usually have a lot of confidence...this just threw me for a loop...I am not using today..it won't change anything except make me more of a victim...I cannot act on impulse all the time...part of addiction...you gotta wait it out..thank God for this board...you've saved my a** more than once. This too shall pass....S
He just asked you to marry him .. she may have been trying to be nosy. My hunch is he is focused on you but you have to know if you trust him now, not later.
Good Sharonn..
It was your addict talking, trying to fool you into thinking "pills" will make it better and we all know how much of a liar our addicts are...
Just keep it simple. And as far as finding out about the e-mail, do what you feel you need to do. Hang in there, God only gives us what we can handle.
Take care
It was your addict talking, trying to fool you into thinking "pills" will make it better and we all know how much of a liar our addicts are...
Just keep it simple. And as far as finding out about the e-mail, do what you feel you need to do. Hang in there, God only gives us what we can handle.
Take care
Thanks Wendy...part of me wants to choke the crap out of this woman, as she knows he went bak with me...he broke up with her and told her we were getting back together...she came to the house, drunk and crying, and (allegedly) he let her sleep it off upstairs while he stayed on the couch.Can't she just leave it alone. I mean, I was dating other guys, but I made it clear that I was engaged and that was that...I feel like crap, but I know we will get passed it. Thanks again.Love, S
I say, "Beat her A S S Sharonn.... NOT,,, you are a better person than that and you hang strong girl.
Man Sharon your dead drop gorgeous ---your fiance would have to have brain damage to give you up.
And a heart of gold.
Jeff
And a heart of gold.
Jeff
Sharon it doesn't matter how you found the email, you did find it. You have the right to ask him if or what he is doing. Tell him you need him to believe in you not cheat on you. If he is emailing another woman then you need to think this thru, because this stress will lead you back into the dark. Remember keep a cool head. Anger is another way to weakness. also If you do choose to pick your habit back up you can't just blame it on him. He may or may not be cheating but you are the one who chose to take the pills and that would be no ones fault but yours. Stay strong.
Travis
Travis
Sharron-
I have never posted to you before but just wanted to tell you 36 days!!!! Your kickin some butt!!! You should be so proud of yourself you said you wanted to call your Dr. but you DIDNT. The fact that you Didnt says your recovery means more to you than anything. Keep up the good work!!!!
I have never posted to you before but just wanted to tell you 36 days!!!! Your kickin some butt!!! You should be so proud of yourself you said you wanted to call your Dr. but you DIDNT. The fact that you Didnt says your recovery means more to you than anything. Keep up the good work!!!!
Sharonn...Please don't take anything..No one is worth that..
You have come so far...I am dealing with the same crap
from my so called girlfriend..I understand the hurt you are
feeling right now, but using will only make it worse..If you
need to talk to somebody e-mail me and I will give you my number..
Hang tuff,
Doug
dbblom@wmconnect.com
You have come so far...I am dealing with the same crap
from my so called girlfriend..I understand the hurt you are
feeling right now, but using will only make it worse..If you
need to talk to somebody e-mail me and I will give you my number..
Hang tuff,
Doug
dbblom@wmconnect.com
Hey Sharonn, I forgot to tell you that almost relapsing and actually relapsing are two different birds and you didn't relapse so you are the winning bird. Keep on shining. You are beautiful, let the other girl/woman eat crow...Rub those good looks in her face honey.
SHES pretty??? what are you chopped liver?????
God ive been exactly where you are honey, found actual letters from an EX WIFE and guess what she was PREGNANT with his baby....YUP you read right. I lived with that f***er for 3 years and he knocked up his x wife...I remember like yesterday reading that letter...re-reading each word....and my heart was going crazy and adrenaline was racing through my body...his secretary walked into his office while im reading this and i couldnt even hear what she was saying to me my heart was pounding so bad...just stared at her lips...everything went into slow motion...eeeew...the worst.
Coincidently, looks are never a guarantee.you think shes better looking but even if she is...mine cheated with his UGLY 10 year older wife with ugly teeth and greying hair (lolol sorry) and i was modeling for Krizia in Europe at the time. i could have been Chritie f***ing Brinklet and he still would have cheated on me. thats what cheaters do LOLOL
Yours isnt anywhere near as bad, youve been given great advise, confront him, tell him you will NOT be on the outside of any relationships with old girlfriends, that you deserve to be 31 in his life with no secrets, no hiding, no game playing.
If he cant or wont do that...then kick his sorry a** to the curb and thank your lucky stars you found out before you married his sorry a**.
Sorry, Im living vicariously through your present situation (LOLOL) can still remember how much mine hurt me....
Living well is always the best revenge. Stick to your goal. stick to your guns.
You deserve the best.
hugs,
Ali
God ive been exactly where you are honey, found actual letters from an EX WIFE and guess what she was PREGNANT with his baby....YUP you read right. I lived with that f***er for 3 years and he knocked up his x wife...I remember like yesterday reading that letter...re-reading each word....and my heart was going crazy and adrenaline was racing through my body...his secretary walked into his office while im reading this and i couldnt even hear what she was saying to me my heart was pounding so bad...just stared at her lips...everything went into slow motion...eeeew...the worst.
Coincidently, looks are never a guarantee.you think shes better looking but even if she is...mine cheated with his UGLY 10 year older wife with ugly teeth and greying hair (lolol sorry) and i was modeling for Krizia in Europe at the time. i could have been Chritie f***ing Brinklet and he still would have cheated on me. thats what cheaters do LOLOL
Yours isnt anywhere near as bad, youve been given great advise, confront him, tell him you will NOT be on the outside of any relationships with old girlfriends, that you deserve to be 31 in his life with no secrets, no hiding, no game playing.
If he cant or wont do that...then kick his sorry a** to the curb and thank your lucky stars you found out before you married his sorry a**.
Sorry, Im living vicariously through your present situation (LOLOL) can still remember how much mine hurt me....
Living well is always the best revenge. Stick to your goal. stick to your guns.
You deserve the best.
hugs,
Ali
Sharonn-
My thoughts are with you. I wish I had an answer to all of your troubles, but be strong. 36 days is great!!
My thoughts are with you. I wish I had an answer to all of your troubles, but be strong. 36 days is great!!
Doug said it, no one is worth you throwing away 36 days of sobriety. She really isn't worth it.
I think telling Tony is your best bet. Be honest and stay honest with him. I bet he would want the chance to make you feel better about things. Give him that chance Sharonn. Don't sit and stew all by yourself.
XXX
I think telling Tony is your best bet. Be honest and stay honest with him. I bet he would want the chance to make you feel better about things. Give him that chance Sharonn. Don't sit and stew all by yourself.
XXX
You guys are the best..Jeff..thanks for the sweet compliment...I confronted him(after dinner) and he said she has been trying to see him..he told her he wished her well, but is in love with me. He "said" that he asked her to plz stop e-mailing him, but evidently she hasn't. I believe him...he isn't the cheating type(I was married to 2 who were) anyway, he was upset that I was upset and said he didn't mention it because it means nothing to him..we've known each other for 20 years and been thru hell..my addiction, co-dependence. He is a good man and has always had integrity.He's also 6'2" and very handsome(dark chocolate..ha ha) and he is my very best friend. So, I finally got knocked off my pedestal...I never thought I could be so insecure. I would never want anyone to feel the pain of betrayal...thanks again.I love you guys....Sharonn
