well it's almost detox (22nd). A few more days and that is it. Im freaking out.
Another stress to add to the mix, my son came down with chicken pox this morning. I have had it, my partner has not. Hopefully all will be well by the 22nd. I could postpone it if i had to but i REALLY DONT want to do that. I have been planning this day for so long. I am almost completly out and i dont want to buy anymore.
I have been pretty good with the sacred time. No smoking from 1:30-4pm. I have been proud of myself for even this small achievement. Although as a whole i still feel like sh*t. I have been drinking every night and my body is really craving some time off. My skin feels all yucky and so does my mouth. Pulling cones tastes worse now than it ever has (well i am smoking the bottom of the bag).
time to move on. Although i am concerned i am also a little excited as to where i can take my life and all the things i am capable of doing.
Thanks for your thoughts Cajun Lady. It feels good to have someone with me in thought who understands this dependency. I will post again before detox begins. Hopefully this week will be more calm than the last. How is it no matter how hard you cry you never seem to run out tears. They just keep flowing. And flowing.
Wishes for a good week everyone.
good luck. will be thinking about you.
come on over this way sharkgirl, the water is nice!! Jump right in. It'll feel good for a change. Stop the addiction and dependency. Let the who you are come out and BE. Say no to the old ways and start anew. It's almost like being high, it'll be so different. Get out of the rut.
thanks Cajun lady and Hard charger.
Today is it. tomorrow i go in between 9-10am. I didnt drink last night for the first time in ages (i was hungover from the night before). This morning i was glad that i didnt. I had a slight clarity i haven't had in the morning for a while. This felt good.
I have butterflies in my stomach and if i had fifty cones i would smoke them. But i only have four. My last four. I paked up all the old glass bongs and stems and crap and packed it all into a bag. I have searched high and low and there is no other pot in this house so when i come home next week there will be no temptations or little suprises.
i feel prepared yet still apprehensive.
Thankyou all for your support and help. I dont know if i would be making this decision without knowing your stories and struggles, and having a feeling that someone was sending me some good energy.
Thankyou.
Today is it. tomorrow i go in between 9-10am. I didnt drink last night for the first time in ages (i was hungover from the night before). This morning i was glad that i didnt. I had a slight clarity i haven't had in the morning for a while. This felt good.
I have butterflies in my stomach and if i had fifty cones i would smoke them. But i only have four. My last four. I paked up all the old glass bongs and stems and crap and packed it all into a bag. I have searched high and low and there is no other pot in this house so when i come home next week there will be no temptations or little suprises.
i feel prepared yet still apprehensive.
Thankyou all for your support and help. I dont know if i would be making this decision without knowing your stories and struggles, and having a feeling that someone was sending me some good energy.
Thankyou.
sharkgirl,
the 21st didnt go as planned for us, as court was canceled and will have to be rescheduled. but on the 22nd, as we all sat in the park eating our picnic lunch and waiting for news from our lawyer, i thought of you and your big day. i prayed that everything was going well for you and for God to give you the strength to get through this. i know you can do this. if i can do it, then anyone can. cant wait til you get home to hear all about it.
we stayed in a hotel in Memphis on the 23rd and the whole hallway reaked of pot smoke. i was suprised to find that the smell gave me a headache and upset my stomach. i feared that the first time i smelled that smell again it would make me crave and it didnt. thank God!
the 21st didnt go as planned for us, as court was canceled and will have to be rescheduled. but on the 22nd, as we all sat in the park eating our picnic lunch and waiting for news from our lawyer, i thought of you and your big day. i prayed that everything was going well for you and for God to give you the strength to get through this. i know you can do this. if i can do it, then anyone can. cant wait til you get home to hear all about it.
we stayed in a hotel in Memphis on the 23rd and the whole hallway reaked of pot smoke. i was suprised to find that the smell gave me a headache and upset my stomach. i feared that the first time i smelled that smell again it would make me crave and it didnt. thank God!
