I never thought that this disease I have and having to take pain killers for months and months would cause me to feel such regret and worriness about having to get off of these. I never thought I would get addicted I always thought I could just stop, now I'm stealing pills and spending tons of money off the street and I can't go a day without them. I have surgery on weds. the 27th and I'm going to try and get off of them after then. I need to do it this is crazy I feel gross. I feel like a crack head no offense to anyone else. thats just what I feel. It's such a bad addiction. If the withdrawals weren't so bad then it would be so much easier. I'm so scared I just need someone thats going through this s*** to help me and be my mentor through this rough experience.
god bless all of you, and I wish you guys nothing but the best in this battle that has consumed us all
- stacy
Stacy what are you taking ...?... and how much.... ?........ We have all been there and I wish I could take all the pain away.. The emotional pain and guilt was worse than any of the physical pain ... I was sooo ashamed . but addiction is a powerful Disease. It can, however, be controled and you are not alone...
God Bless
Teresa
God Bless
Teresa
Stacy,
I am with you! I am on my 3rd day off of vics and I am feeling better. (At the moment anyways) Do you have anyone around you that you can talk to? I just moved across the country with myhusband and 4 year old son and now my husband is deployed. I am alone too. I have found that talking, whether it be in person, on the phone or even if you were in IM's it helps to keep your mind focused. I talk to my mom 3 hours yesterday and I was scared to go to bed for fear of what the morning would bring. I have a lot to do here and I can't just shut down. Stacy, the w/d's aren't going to last forever. Just a few more days sweety. Take it day by day. You'll have your ups and downs but it is just your body getting back to normal. You will find that you are a very different person without the meds. A better person. One that feels more, and loves more. You will cry... a lot, but just let it out. Do you have kids? What is your situation? Take care dear and STAY STRONG!
K
I am with you! I am on my 3rd day off of vics and I am feeling better. (At the moment anyways) Do you have anyone around you that you can talk to? I just moved across the country with myhusband and 4 year old son and now my husband is deployed. I am alone too. I have found that talking, whether it be in person, on the phone or even if you were in IM's it helps to keep your mind focused. I talk to my mom 3 hours yesterday and I was scared to go to bed for fear of what the morning would bring. I have a lot to do here and I can't just shut down. Stacy, the w/d's aren't going to last forever. Just a few more days sweety. Take it day by day. You'll have your ups and downs but it is just your body getting back to normal. You will find that you are a very different person without the meds. A better person. One that feels more, and loves more. You will cry... a lot, but just let it out. Do you have kids? What is your situation? Take care dear and STAY STRONG!
K
Dear moonryser, wasn't it worth it?! Doesn't it feel great to know w/d is pretty much over now and you can honestly say you're "clean" ? I loved that. It's nice to see somebody so positive and encouraging to others too! Even though you've just been through a difficult experience, you've come through it with compassion for others. That's pure recovery! We have to give it away to keep it. Anyway, just wanted to offer you congradulations on being clean and sober! Also on your caring attitude toward those still suffering. Much love and God bless, Kat
Yes, it is worth it! I am compassionate because I am going through it too and I don't want anyone to think they have to do it alone because I think thats the scariest part of it. We all need people. I wonder if I am just having a good day or if the worst part is over for me. If it is over, THANK GOD!!! I am taking a lot of advil and Immodium AD. Still haven't got the appetite back but I do make myself eat a little and I feel better for it. If I can kick vics, I can stop smoking too and that will be next... well.. in a while. I can't be going through too many withdrawals at one time. I actually thought today that I'd rather quit smoking than quit vics. At least it wouldn't hurt as bad. It's the physical pain for me over the mental stuff. Mentally, I am very strong... but physically, I can't stand constant pain. Which is, of course, why I started the vics. Thanks for your kind words Kat. I'm thinking about all of you!
K
K
Hey Moonryser, a friend told me you shouldn't try to quit smoking until you've been sober for a year. That works for me! lol. I'm not ready yet to quit anything else. Everybody is different with w/d, but if you're like me, tommorrow you'll feel pretty good. I think attitude plays a big part in it too. I was so excited to be clean and that the w/d were over, I was just too happy to feel bad at that point. I know of course, that it's not that way for some people. I distictly remember day five as being wonderful. It was almost a "high" not being high. If that makes any sense. The sense of accomplishment you feel is awesome. Get your support system ready though! Next are the cravings. Don't let that scare you. Just remember "they pass!!" You should post a new thread tommorrow saying "I DID IT!!! I"M CLEAN AND SOBER AND THE WD ARE GONE! lol, I'm kidding, but you know, it would be cool if you did. Look at all the people who would read it and be encouraged. Somebody who saw you did it just might find the courage to follow in your footsteps. It's so nice to see people come out on the other side of w/d and begin the real journey of recovery. Welcome to recovery Moonryser! Much love and God bless, Kat
Kat -
Reading the stuff people have written on this board is what has helped me the most. I check back so often just to see if someone has responded and it matters a lot that they do... that you do! It's much better knowing that you are not the only one that's going through it right now. Do you know what I mean? Like, there is someone suffering just like you are and if they are sticking to it, by God, so can I! You are a sweetheart Kat! It is people like you that make it worth coming to these boards and venting what they feel and get nothing but support back. I could come in here tomorrow and be totally messed up by having a bad w/d day, but the people here will make me feel better because they encourage me to get through it. I actually got to where I was afraid of doctors because I had to ask them for vics when I moved here. I came from NC to WA and they didn't know my butt from a hole in the ground and questioned me. It was hell. I'd get enough to last for 3 days and for about 3 months, that's how I was doing it. Going to the doctor every 3 days because he wouldn't call it in. I had to see him first. Then I saw on my record where he wrote, "Narcotic dependent". That urked me! But now I realize he was right. I couldnt go on without them I thought. I didn't want to be labled that way. I don't know... maybe I'm just rambling... but writing all this out feels good!
K
Reading the stuff people have written on this board is what has helped me the most. I check back so often just to see if someone has responded and it matters a lot that they do... that you do! It's much better knowing that you are not the only one that's going through it right now. Do you know what I mean? Like, there is someone suffering just like you are and if they are sticking to it, by God, so can I! You are a sweetheart Kat! It is people like you that make it worth coming to these boards and venting what they feel and get nothing but support back. I could come in here tomorrow and be totally messed up by having a bad w/d day, but the people here will make me feel better because they encourage me to get through it. I actually got to where I was afraid of doctors because I had to ask them for vics when I moved here. I came from NC to WA and they didn't know my butt from a hole in the ground and questioned me. It was hell. I'd get enough to last for 3 days and for about 3 months, that's how I was doing it. Going to the doctor every 3 days because he wouldn't call it in. I had to see him first. Then I saw on my record where he wrote, "Narcotic dependent". That urked me! But now I realize he was right. I couldnt go on without them I thought. I didn't want to be labled that way. I don't know... maybe I'm just rambling... but writing all this out feels good!
K
I totally understand everything you say. We are all so much alike, just all in different stages. Certain people really stand out to you too, like you. I see you toughing this out, coming here for support, doing your best, and encouraging others too. That's what it's all about. We have to get outside ourselves, and really care about other people. It's so easy for us as addicts to only think of what we're going through, but it really lightens the load when we reach out and connect with other people who are feeling the same way. (or have felt it). I'm excited for you. You're reaching a phase that was really wonderful for me. It was like an awakening. For the many years I used, I wasn't too proud of myself. But on that fourth and fifth day, I really was. It felt good, better than good, it felt great. I had accomplished something life changing. And now I see you there. That's why I say attitude is so important. Sometimes it makes a big difference in how we feel depending on what we think. I want to encourage you to be excited too!! I want you to feel the same way I did. I'd like to see you be proud of yourself because you deserve to. Hang in there! You're doing great! Can't wait to hear tommorrow that you're even better! Much love, Kat
Well, here i am the next day in the morning. It's 7:45 and I have to be at work by 8:00 which isn't going to happen. It takes me an hour to get there with dropping my son off and everything. I'm not feeling well today. It was too hard to get out of bed. Mornings are the worst for me. I'm jealous of people that can just jump out of bed and run to do everything! I keep thinking of the warm feeling you get when you take the first vic of the day and how I would love to have it. Kat, I don't know if I can do this. I feel myself crumbling inside. I have to function every day for my son. I'm worried. Maybe I just had a good day yesterday and things aren't really getting that much better. I'm so glad the weekend is here.
K
K
Stacey..how are you today? What is your surgery for and what are you addicted to? We can help, but you gotta stay in touch.
Cowgirl
Cowgirl
Hi K;
You are doing this! That is great! Stay strong today, just for today go hour by hour if you have to. And then you will have the weekend to rest and continue your recovery.
My most recent experience with recovery was to have Wednesday be my last day, get thru Thursday and Friday at work and then have the weekend to get thru day's 3 and 4. This is my 3rd recovery - and as others have shared, these days tend to be the worst from a physical perspective. Totally lousy feeling, diarhea, flulike symptoms, etc. If this is Day 3 for you then I admire your courage because it does suck.
But know that you can do this and that soon the rewards of recovery will begin to appear, and you will be soooo glad to be done with the pills! It's really simple for this addcit. I had to get totally honest with myself and admit that I can't do this alone. I'm grateful for the 12 step rooms - it is there that I find comfort and peace.
Stay strong and post as often as you need to. Just for today.
Jim
You are doing this! That is great! Stay strong today, just for today go hour by hour if you have to. And then you will have the weekend to rest and continue your recovery.
My most recent experience with recovery was to have Wednesday be my last day, get thru Thursday and Friday at work and then have the weekend to get thru day's 3 and 4. This is my 3rd recovery - and as others have shared, these days tend to be the worst from a physical perspective. Totally lousy feeling, diarhea, flulike symptoms, etc. If this is Day 3 for you then I admire your courage because it does suck.
But know that you can do this and that soon the rewards of recovery will begin to appear, and you will be soooo glad to be done with the pills! It's really simple for this addcit. I had to get totally honest with myself and admit that I can't do this alone. I'm grateful for the 12 step rooms - it is there that I find comfort and peace.
Stay strong and post as often as you need to. Just for today.
Jim
Hi Moonryser, you'll have good days and bad ones. You really can do this. I know it's hard, it's still hard for me too. But it does get easier. And I never just jump out of bed, lol. You ever notice that your best sleep is just when the clock is going off? You will be feeling better very soon, I promise. Just hang in there a little longer and you'll see. Thoughts still come to me about using. It's my diseased mind, but they go away. Look how far you've come! I'm proud of you. You can do it! Hope your day gets better, much love, Kat
Hi Stacy. It is possible, as you will see here on these boards.
Don't beat yourself up. The addiction to this stuff is powerful....
They have ways to medically detox you, that make it alot more comfortable.
Talk to your dr..or a chemical dependency place about this...
Don't beat yourself up. The addiction to this stuff is powerful....
They have ways to medically detox you, that make it alot more comfortable.
Talk to your dr..or a chemical dependency place about this...
Stacy hasn't posted anything but that one post. That concerns me.
JR - Thanks for your kind words. Taking it day by day... I don't know. I do feel better tongiht than I did this morning, but there again, I have the fear of going to bed and waking up in hell again. My back hurts really bad. I have to keep a heating pad on it at work because I sit all day. I walked up a flight of stairs today and thought my legs were going to go out from under me! They were so weak. Is that also part of withdrawal, or do I just need to work out? lol
K
JR - Thanks for your kind words. Taking it day by day... I don't know. I do feel better tongiht than I did this morning, but there again, I have the fear of going to bed and waking up in hell again. My back hurts really bad. I have to keep a heating pad on it at work because I sit all day. I walked up a flight of stairs today and thought my legs were going to go out from under me! They were so weak. Is that also part of withdrawal, or do I just need to work out? lol
K
Maybe because you and Kat Hijacked her thread....
lol. Hope your at least lurking, Stacey. We're here for you.
Hope you all have a great weekend.
Cowgirl
lol. Hope your at least lurking, Stacey. We're here for you.
Hope you all have a great weekend.
Cowgirl
Oopps, the highjacker humbly apologizes, Stacey! Much love, Kat
STACEY - ARE YOU STILL OUT THERE???
Let us know if you are OK. Please post soon.
Love,
Marie
Let us know if you are OK. Please post soon.
Love,
Marie
Dear Stacy,
I know that your surgery is on the 27th (if I'm correct), and I'm sure that you are going through an extremely difficult time.
Please keep in touch. We are all here to help you. I pray that your surgical procedure will be fine, and my thoughts and prayers are with you, Stacy.
Ben
I know that your surgery is on the 27th (if I'm correct), and I'm sure that you are going through an extremely difficult time.
Please keep in touch. We are all here to help you. I pray that your surgical procedure will be fine, and my thoughts and prayers are with you, Stacy.
Ben
Hi.....I read your posting. I feel for you, cause I had two surgeries in the last 3 months and just went off Lorcet, which I had been taking for about 6 months. It's difficult for me to admit that WE ARE ADDICTS!! If we can say this, for some reason, it's easier to go through these darn withdrawals. I went to the doctor yesterday and he gave me a Catapres patch, .1 mg, and Neurontin, which is non-narcotic. The Catapres patch helps with the anxiety of the whol thing, especially with the chills down your body and the Neurontin helps with the pain and helps you sleep. I didn't sleep the first 2 days, but as soon as I got this stuff from the doctor yesterday, I slept for 6 hours last night!!! I'm feeling a little more energetic today. Just do it!! As soon as you can after the surgery. Trust me, I had two herniated discs and had a spinal fusion with plating in my neck. I also had some plastic surgery done as well, which was very painful. I go back to work next week, and am regretting that I didn't try and go off these things sooner. Keep positive thoughts and dont' be hard on yourself, whatever you do. Good luck with the surgery.
