My partner, or should I say ex-partner has had various drug addictions over the years. Now he has a problem with alcohol. So he's currently hooked on methadone, benzos and alcohol. This latest addiction is absolutely the last straw for me. I can't sit by and watch him do this to himself, but there is nothing I can do to stop it. So I'm leaving him. He's disabled too, and the alcohol makes him much much worse. I know I'm abandoning him in his hour of need, but I have mental health issues and other problems myself. My Dr has told me I can't carry him any more.
He is now disconsolate, without hope, but all I feel is relief. Am I doing a terrible thing?
best wishes
M
No.
By getting out of there you are actually helping him. If he knows you are around to clean up the mess and love him he won't stop. Don't co-sign his behavior.
By getting out of there you are actually helping him. If he knows you are around to clean up the mess and love him he won't stop. Don't co-sign his behavior.
"My partner, or should I say ex-partner has had various drug addictions over the years. Now he has a problem with alcohol. So he's currently hooked on methadone, benzos and alcohol. This latest addiction is absolutely the last straw for me. I can't sit by and watch him do this to himself, but there is nothing I can do to stop it. So I'm leaving him. He's disabled too, and the alcohol makes him much much worse. I know I'm abandoning him in his hour of need, but I have mental health issues and other problems myself. My Dr has told me I can't carry him any more.
He is now disconsolate, without hope, but all I feel is relief. Am I doing a terrible thing?
best wishes"
I have had a problem with alcohol and dozens of other issues, losing my job needing to stay home and take care of my best friend and dying father.
My alcohol abuse kept getting worse until I had no one left to rely on.
God bless the both of you and maybe everything will work out!
My Webpage
He is now disconsolate, without hope, but all I feel is relief. Am I doing a terrible thing?
best wishes"
I have had a problem with alcohol and dozens of other issues, losing my job needing to stay home and take care of my best friend and dying father.
My alcohol abuse kept getting worse until I had no one left to rely on.
God bless the both of you and maybe everything will work out!
My Webpage
M,
time to put yourself first, staying isnt going to help him at all so best wishes and good luck for your future, dont look back.
If you need to heal I can recommend Al ANon (there is also nar anon and co-anon)
good luck
Sean
time to put yourself first, staying isnt going to help him at all so best wishes and good luck for your future, dont look back.
If you need to heal I can recommend Al ANon (there is also nar anon and co-anon)
good luck
Sean
U need to look after yourself. You cant help someone that doesnt want any help. What good would you be to him if you are not well yourself. You need to help yourself and let him deal with his own issues.
Your answers are a relief to me. We've just had another huge row about it. He says I should be the one person who understands. And he says he is seeking help, but I never get to speak to these people, and there always seems to be some pathetic excuse why he can't stop drinking "quite yet". But it's going to be "soon". Always in just a week or two. He has to see this person or that Dr to check on the "interactions" with his medications. It's just so much bulls***. Thanks guys.
M
M
M
Our stories sound so similar. My spouse seems hooked on the same drugs of choice. He is also disabled. He just went back to rehab and we haven't spoken in five days. I just had to finally let go. I cry all the time without warning. I just think of how he used to be before these substances took him away - and I feel like I can't breathe.
Some have suggested I call his counselor or offer support - but I agree with you that this is the best message and I am trying to follow through.
Imagine.
Our stories sound so similar. My spouse seems hooked on the same drugs of choice. He is also disabled. He just went back to rehab and we haven't spoken in five days. I just had to finally let go. I cry all the time without warning. I just think of how he used to be before these substances took him away - and I feel like I can't breathe.
Some have suggested I call his counselor or offer support - but I agree with you that this is the best message and I am trying to follow through.
Imagine.
You've definately done the right thing by leaving! you might feel bad but as long as you were there picking up the pieces he didnt have to try but now he will have no one to rely on and he'll have to do something about his addictions for his own sake. and once he sees you getting on with your life and doing well for yourself he'll want to do the same. Hang in there M sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind!
Best wishes and good luck Becks
Best wishes and good luck Becks
Hear ya, loud and clear. I've threatened to do it over and over again but can't bring myself to "abandon" my drinker. Mine has attempted suicide already so I keep imagining having to deal with the guilt should my drinker ever follow through. I have gotten to the point where I pray my drinker will die - isn't that awful? Do what you have to. (Even if I don't.)
