I recently found out that my brother is an alcoholic. He has lost a professional, high paying job and has a wife who is a heavy drinker and doesn't want her world to change. He has been in rehab while employed and had o/p help also. All counselors tell him that he needs to leave his wife - which he doesn't seem to want to do. Twice I have gone to him, at his request, to help him sober up and stay sober. At this moment, he is drinking. His wife called me to rescue him again. My heart aches and I think of him every waking moment. I have info for a rehab but he doesn't have medical coverage now that covers alcohol treatment. I am trying to convince him that it is better to spend his money on help than to die. Do I continue to reach out or let him self destruct? There is no Al-Anon near me that I can go to so I am very concerned so I am part of the problem. We live 300 miles apart and trying to help him is so difficult. I have traveled many miles since the beginning of the year. Any advice?
P, spending some time reading posts and asking questions on the Families/Partners of Addicts board of this website may help you.
If he has been to rehab and outpatient treatment, then in all liklihood he knows what he needs to do.
Basically, it's don't drink and go to meetings. Some who really, really want to quit go to two meetings a day in early recovery. Most likely, he has been told this. And he knows this all too well. It's free -- doesn't cost a thing.
I think the questions are:
Does he want to quit ?
What is it that you feel you should do for him or to him at this point in time that he cannot do for himself ?
What do you think you can do that will make a difference at this time ?
If he has been to rehab and outpatient treatment, then in all liklihood he knows what he needs to do.
Basically, it's don't drink and go to meetings. Some who really, really want to quit go to two meetings a day in early recovery. Most likely, he has been told this. And he knows this all too well. It's free -- doesn't cost a thing.
I think the questions are:
Does he want to quit ?
What is it that you feel you should do for him or to him at this point in time that he cannot do for himself ?
What do you think you can do that will make a difference at this time ?
