Hi, I come from a family full of addiction, everywhere from alcohol to pain pills, meth and more. I am not a user and never have been but because of my family I know a lot about addiction.
My boyfriend was addicted to meth ten years ago, he has done coke, pain pills and other drugs. He told me that he does not do meth anymore which I believe. He also told me that he still likes pain pills and if they are visible then he will use them. He also said the last time he used coke was over a year ago. He said he doesn't much care for coke and doesn't deem it as an issue since he can't become addicted to it because he doesn't like it all that much.
He recently has been hanging out with several new people he works with who all take pain pills and coke, one even does heroin. I also found out that he was taking percosets (may be spelled wrong) and also buying them from one friend for another friend. He also has does this with coke. I told him that I have had enough addiction in my life that I don't need him adding to it so I can't be with him if he chooses to use the pain pills. I'm currently having a big issue with him hanging out with these active users and sellers, especially since he is the middle man purchasing product from one friend for another. He does not think I should be bothered by this and is being irrational saying if he can't hang out with his friends who use and sells then he shouldn't hang out with me because I drink coffee and beer when we go out. I can't have this environment in my life and I don't know if I'm being unreasonable. I really need advice.
Dear Nova,Clearly your boyfriend is still active in using and distribution of narcotics. He is addicted to opiates .He is trying to justify his relationship with these people by comparing coffee and beer to cocaine pain pills and herion...He maybe fooling himself but don't allow him to fool you...He is a addict...He is also purchasing and distributing drugs...it will only get worse. .you deserve better....
Thank you for your response! I agree that he is an addict. .. he denies this. Only last year his parents put his brother through rehab due to meth and pain pills, this was difficult for my boyfriend and educational as the program offered many family classes and resources. so I guess I had hoped he would be able to see what situation he has gotten himself into because of all he learned and saw. I so badly want to help him change his path but until he sees and accepts that he is an addict I can't help him. I don't want to just turn my back on him. I don't know what to do. I have considered taking to his mom since they are extremely close but i'm just not sure what step I must take if any.
Dear Nova,Sometimes when someone is emerged in something it's quite possible they don't quite understand the severity of it.I don't know if you are able to talk to your boyfriend,whether he gets defensive when you approach the subject.Although I believe he will be defensive for he compares his situation with you and your coffee and beer...Now true beer is alcohol and I don't know how much you drink,but I am sure he will multiply it to try and offset his addiction ...as for your coffee drinking I know of no issue as to a person drinking coffee...I have yet to hear of a incident of someone driving under the influence of starbucks.As I said he is already on the defense.You state his brother was in rehab for the same situation. ..Are they close that maybe you might be able to discuss this with him...Otherwise if you think talking with his Mom might help yes indeed go for it...Chances are he might get upset with you,but then again you are trying to prevent issues that will soon appear due to his addiction and purchasing of narcotics and distribution to others...eventually as smart as all addicts think they are they get sloppy.....it's nice of you to want to stand by him...just make sure you don't lose yourself in the equation. ...and remember one thing you can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves....
