Well, here I am 5 months w/out smoking. It sure is great not to have to always be looking for an opportunity to light-up somewhere, plus, I'm not spending as much money anymore...........
Things have been been much better for me lately. My wife is still gone; yes, I still miss her, but I can enjoy things like I used to, which I honestly couldn't for awhile there- like for about...5 months!!! Wow, that was a horrible experience.
It sure was rough for awhile there. I remember posting on this board and feeling so bad it was indescribable. I honestly think this place helped me, as most people were really encouraging to me, although there were a few of the "just get over it" types, which I personally don't think helps, at least when people said that type of thing to me it didn't help.
I'm still at my same old job, but it's better than before. That horrible lady that screamed at me and said all that stuff about why my wife left has now been fired! Very strange how that all worked out. I have a second interview with the State as an Employment Specialist on Wednesday at 11:00AM. I made it through the first interview, so that's a good sign I think. Actually, I'll miss working here though. It's actually a good company and they've always been fair to me, but I just feel it's time for a change. I guess stopping smoking and my wife leaving has just made me reconsider several things. I must admit I was a lot more comfortable before she left- I just felt the world was a lot safer place for me and my future was more predictable. I did very much enjoy being married, but I guess I just have to accept things as they are and become, well, more selfish as I only have myself to think about now, which believe it or not was very difficult as I kept thinking about my wife for many years so it's hard just to think about yourself and what you want instead of considering your decision's impact on someone else.
Speaking of which, I've got seven weeks of vaction saved up so I'm taking a 4 week vacation to The Republic of the Congo. I know, some people think it's crazy, but I like going unusual places, and after my marriage fell apart and it looks like I won't be seeing our farm in Amazonas again, well, I thought I'd see a new place that is new and might just hold opportunities for me. I was surprised how much Brasil held for me after I went, so maybe I can get a new start in ROC or at least have an unusual vacation. I leave on January 11 and am there until mid-February, as 30 days is the longest VISA I can get. I spoke to their consulate in Washington and he said they give very few VISAs.
Anyway, I am doing well and I honestly hope all the rest of you are as well.
Drug addiction in any form is a horrible thing, but I know I am better off now and with more stable moods and generally happier after stopping smoking.
Peace be with you.
Ernie
Ernie
Glad to hear you are feeling better. 5 months is great achievment! Its only going to get better from here.
When you go to the Congo, visit Lake Tele for me, and take a picture of Mokele Membembe..LOL
michelle
Glad to hear you are feeling better. 5 months is great achievment! Its only going to get better from here.
When you go to the Congo, visit Lake Tele for me, and take a picture of Mokele Membembe..LOL
michelle
Hi Ernie,
You sound great. That's awesome to be able to give up smoking. I wish I could do that but not at this point. I know I would have so much more money Especially as expensive cigarettes are here.
I'm sorry about your seperation but you sound like you are really getting your life together. Good luck to you with the new job and enjoy your vacation.
Love,
Liz
You sound great. That's awesome to be able to give up smoking. I wish I could do that but not at this point. I know I would have so much more money Especially as expensive cigarettes are here.
I'm sorry about your seperation but you sound like you are really getting your life together. Good luck to you with the new job and enjoy your vacation.
Love,
Liz
Everything seems to be falling into place Ernie. Congratulations on the no-smoking thing.
Congratulations Ernie.Smoking is very hard to quit.
Just dont bing back the "New love of your life from the Congo"LOL
Just dont bing back the "New love of your life from the Congo"LOL
Hey, wait a minute, I sure ain't saying my life is perfect! I'm still doing a lot of work with therapy, self-help and prayer- not in that order either!
Some times are still tough, but I've learned to use techniques to redirect my feelings when I have that anxiety/depressed/hopeless feeling that hits me sometimes. But at least I feel like I have control over myself MOST the time now. I sure didn't for awhile. I hope I never have to go through that again.
Paleogal, as a matter of fact, I am taking my folding kayak with me and will be going to the Likoluala area if I can get the permit, which was necessary according to one source I read. I really don't plan to go to Lake Tele, it sounds like it may be a bit crowded with other tourists anymore anyway.
I'm trying to start writing again, so I thought I'd submit something to "Canoe and Kayak" and increase the list of my publications to the grand total of two.
It's all tied into my "finding my center" again thing since you-know-who left.
Thanks for the encouraging words.
Ernie
Some times are still tough, but I've learned to use techniques to redirect my feelings when I have that anxiety/depressed/hopeless feeling that hits me sometimes. But at least I feel like I have control over myself MOST the time now. I sure didn't for awhile. I hope I never have to go through that again.
Paleogal, as a matter of fact, I am taking my folding kayak with me and will be going to the Likoluala area if I can get the permit, which was necessary according to one source I read. I really don't plan to go to Lake Tele, it sounds like it may be a bit crowded with other tourists anymore anyway.
I'm trying to start writing again, so I thought I'd submit something to "Canoe and Kayak" and increase the list of my publications to the grand total of two.
It's all tied into my "finding my center" again thing since you-know-who left.
Thanks for the encouraging words.
Ernie
Have fun Ernie...I have always wanted to go on an expedition to the Congo...LOL
Actually, there is a really good book about a guy who went there, and had so much trouble with the local government, and some of the natives. Its "Drums Along the Congo", I will have to check and see who the author was.
michelle
Actually, there is a really good book about a guy who went there, and had so much trouble with the local government, and some of the natives. Its "Drums Along the Congo", I will have to check and see who the author was.
michelle
Paleo, thanks for the title. I'll see if I can find it. There isn't much info on the place, which actually attracted me to the place. When I talked to their consulate in Washington, if I got it right, the person told me they had only given 3 VISAs this year!
I finally had to order a map from England which is produced by the IGA, which (and I didn't know this) is the French version of the Geographical Society. It hasn't got here yet.
Here's a fact: There is an area in the Likoluala River area as large as the state of Florida that has been officially designated as "unexplored" by the government of ROC. Ain't that something! Now that's a place I got to see (if I can find it that is!) LOL
I finally had to order a map from England which is produced by the IGA, which (and I didn't know this) is the French version of the Geographical Society. It hasn't got here yet.
Here's a fact: There is an area in the Likoluala River area as large as the state of Florida that has been officially designated as "unexplored" by the government of ROC. Ain't that something! Now that's a place I got to see (if I can find it that is!) LOL
ernie,
you sound so much more grounded then when you first arrived here, i am so happy to hear a siccess story such as yours. keep working on you and doing the next right thing and more and more will keep falling in place. the mind is a very powerful tool. you are making huge strides. you well deserve that vacation. good luck on that new job, i will say a prayer for you about it. a change can be a beautiful thing. keep up the fantastic work.
terrianne
you sound so much more grounded then when you first arrived here, i am so happy to hear a siccess story such as yours. keep working on you and doing the next right thing and more and more will keep falling in place. the mind is a very powerful tool. you are making huge strides. you well deserve that vacation. good luck on that new job, i will say a prayer for you about it. a change can be a beautiful thing. keep up the fantastic work.
terrianne
Thanks for responding to me. My computer went crackers on me at work and I just got up so I haven't been ablt to get back.
Everyone seems to be doing well here, at least it seems better here now as a few months ago there was more bickering and stuff, so that's good.
I was posting at work before so I don't like writing about stopping smoking pot and how that was a real struggle.
For me, it was like I just couldn't get my emotions under control. I think I was just waiting for that first smioke of the day so I could feel good and rush for about 15 minutes. Then, of course, I was just burnt out the rest of day.
I guess, trying to look at the positive side of things, it took my wife leaving me to stop smoking pot!
I really don't miss the weed anymore.
And that is very nice after smoking weed since 1975!
(God, I am OLD!!)
Everyone seems to be doing well here, at least it seems better here now as a few months ago there was more bickering and stuff, so that's good.
I was posting at work before so I don't like writing about stopping smoking pot and how that was a real struggle.
For me, it was like I just couldn't get my emotions under control. I think I was just waiting for that first smioke of the day so I could feel good and rush for about 15 minutes. Then, of course, I was just burnt out the rest of day.
I guess, trying to look at the positive side of things, it took my wife leaving me to stop smoking pot!
I really don't miss the weed anymore.
And that is very nice after smoking weed since 1975!
(God, I am OLD!!)
