Well here I am . 2;30 AM- Sat. morning. Sandy is at our friends for a few more days & then she will be off to Upstate NY. Im getting so tired of this sh*t. Tired of writing about it, tired of talking about it ,tired of worrying about it,,& tired of caring about it.
Sure we spent a lot of years together, but things are just getting to be much. We care about each other more than most folks that have been married for 15 years- -however we,ve (I,ve) come to the realization that for better or worse ,it looks like this is coming to a end. She desperately wants to move back upstate to be near her family. Which I guess I dont blame her,as she hasnt spent much time there over the years & feels as though time is slipping away.
So next week ,she leaves our friend(Dave's G/F for those of you following this saga) _comes here -packs some things- cashes out her 401K & moves "home"
Im sure we,ll miss each other terribly(I cant even believe this) but life goes on. Albany isnt on the other end of the planet -its only 2 &1/2 hrs by car. Its not like we are kids & will be looking for love. Its just that the companionship will be missed (for both of us)-
Anyway- I have my son living with me & my mom living downstairs. I should be grateful that Im not alone in a rooming house somewhere. Ive got my job and some good friends for support if I need it. I got this board & you guys.
Life goes on. It should be an emotional week- Ill be back on in a few days
with love&respect
jack
Wow Jack,
That's a pretty profound change. I have been following your saga, and I'm sorry it hurts so much. 15 years is a long time; it must feel like you're losing some vital part of you. Sandy seems to be searching for something and maybe she'll discover it was you all along. I hope so! She's lucky to have you in her life Jack. As are we.
My best to you, Beck
That's a pretty profound change. I have been following your saga, and I'm sorry it hurts so much. 15 years is a long time; it must feel like you're losing some vital part of you. Sandy seems to be searching for something and maybe she'll discover it was you all along. I hope so! She's lucky to have you in her life Jack. As are we.
My best to you, Beck
Jack..mate yer far from the roominghouse....i cannot truely grasp yer pain and confusion at the moment as Becks said 15yrs.is a lifetime for you and Sandy...but its not as if yer gonna be totally cut off from her...if you want you can still maintain contact .....which im sure you will.Also youve got yer son and mother for companionship....i know it aint the same as having a lady about but its not the end.All the very best to you pal for the future...........Davey
Hey Jack,
WOW! Jack, life it's just anymore mind boggling.
What can you do though? What can any of us do? Can't say I know where Sandy is coming from or where the heck she is going. Probably she has no idea. I don't get it though. Like she was so sweet to stay with your friends woman and the poor lady surely needed help and compassion. Like so did Sandy finally there make the final decision?
Do ya think she wants you to tell her what to do or what not to do? I mean you guys are connected at the hip and soul so ya'd know if that's what she wants.
Does she suddenly want you to change and demand she stay? Cause that can't work.
No matter what you've looked at the positives in your life. You've acknowledged what you have and how Blessed you are, BUT Jack I'm learning there's times that we can just say what we want and think. We can wear our heart on our sleaves. Just come out and say this s*cks big time. I mean if ya want to.
Probably no help at all here. Sorry, Jack. Not to mention ya just lost a dear friend. You're grandmom just passed over. Your son is grown. There that's all depressing. I'm alot of help. Just ya got so much going on at once.
Sending hugs your way. Maybe ya can make a list of stuff ya wanna do up the road. Yo, there's a place in Princeton. It's more than a sculpture garden. It's like art that's alive. Like, you can be in a Renoir painting and stuff. That's on my list. Simple indeed. No biggie, but I been wanting to see that. Maybe put it on yours. Ya did Maryland now maybe Princeton when ya snap back.
Pay no mind to me as ya know I am out my mind, but it gotta work somehow, right? It has to. Beck said it best in so few words.
WOW! Jack, life it's just anymore mind boggling.
What can you do though? What can any of us do? Can't say I know where Sandy is coming from or where the heck she is going. Probably she has no idea. I don't get it though. Like she was so sweet to stay with your friends woman and the poor lady surely needed help and compassion. Like so did Sandy finally there make the final decision?
Do ya think she wants you to tell her what to do or what not to do? I mean you guys are connected at the hip and soul so ya'd know if that's what she wants.
Does she suddenly want you to change and demand she stay? Cause that can't work.
No matter what you've looked at the positives in your life. You've acknowledged what you have and how Blessed you are, BUT Jack I'm learning there's times that we can just say what we want and think. We can wear our heart on our sleaves. Just come out and say this s*cks big time. I mean if ya want to.
Probably no help at all here. Sorry, Jack. Not to mention ya just lost a dear friend. You're grandmom just passed over. Your son is grown. There that's all depressing. I'm alot of help. Just ya got so much going on at once.
Sending hugs your way. Maybe ya can make a list of stuff ya wanna do up the road. Yo, there's a place in Princeton. It's more than a sculpture garden. It's like art that's alive. Like, you can be in a Renoir painting and stuff. That's on my list. Simple indeed. No biggie, but I been wanting to see that. Maybe put it on yours. Ya did Maryland now maybe Princeton when ya snap back.
Pay no mind to me as ya know I am out my mind, but it gotta work somehow, right? It has to. Beck said it best in so few words.
Jack,
If I may add to the wise words already given.....saying goodbye is not easy...even if it is on a temporary basis. What is left behind is alot of pain and memories both good and bad. Sifting through it all can be even more of a pisser but if you look slightly to the left you will see a man who has come along way. You will see a kind good-hearted guy steady moving forward building and bettering his life. His pain may shine but his strength is that much brighter. The best to you always!
If I may add to the wise words already given.....saying goodbye is not easy...even if it is on a temporary basis. What is left behind is alot of pain and memories both good and bad. Sifting through it all can be even more of a pisser but if you look slightly to the left you will see a man who has come along way. You will see a kind good-hearted guy steady moving forward building and bettering his life. His pain may shine but his strength is that much brighter. The best to you always!
