I went to a cath lab last Thursday and had the two cysts in the synovial capsule of my hip aspirated. We were all keeping our fingers crossed that this would relieve some or all of the pain.
Sorry. It helped a little bit, but not a great deal. Discussion hinged around the fact that one of the cysts looked like it was pressing into some major nerve that has a name I can't even spell, much less pronounce.
So now I'm off next week to get a nerve conduction test. That ought to be loads of fun.
In the meantime, the pain makes it almost impossible to sleep more than 2 straight hours, and walking further than the mailbox is a hit-or-miss proposition because I never know where the pain will explode next. Sometimes it even goes down as far as my knee.
__________________________________________________
Having said all that, you have some idea of where I'm coming from.
I needed to get a couple of things at Target, but after walking to the back of the store the pain hit big time and I had to find a place to sit down.
How depressing. God, it really hurt and I felt like crap. Then I decided I would call my ortho doc and see if I could beg a handful of Percocet just so I could get some relief. HA! Caught the addict red-handed! No, no, no. Ain't going there.
Then I decided I would get VERA to call and ask for some pain meds. Huh? That would just be me trying to give the responsibility and control to her so I wouldn't have to deal with it myself. Sorry, that won't fly, either.
So by the time I got home, I was finished with those little mind games, but it did trigger a massive spell of craving. As a matter of fact, it was the worst craving I've had since I quit taking dope on June 13.
I guess the cravings will probably be with me the rest of my life. Or not. Maybe I won't get those dumb ideas about pain meds once something gets resolved about my hip. Either the multitude of doctors I've seen will finally find out WTF is wrong, or I'm taking the chain saw to the damn thing.
Everyone have a good evening.
James.
James.I can totally relate..it is so depressing to be in pain and be an addict..you are talking to the right lady here..Do you justify? Do you suffer? It really sucks..when you can't even walk around a damned store..believe me..the last 2 months...almost every day..Pain..I'm sick of it..I am just waiting for the day to feel ok..it's gotta happen sooner or later..You are tough, and I'm proud of you...I hope your pain improves..I get a lot of sciatica..nerve pain is awful..hang in..I'm here to b**** to if you need me..Love,Sharonn
James,
Give your self credit for getting through this one!! You sound like my husband, with the pain and no sleep. He gets so frustrated that he can't do the simplest things some days with out pain. A walker is totally out of the question, even though on real bad days it would help him get around much easier. He's 56 and not ready to go there. Hang in there big guy!! Say "Hey" to Vera from me.
Faith and Hope
Kerry
Give your self credit for getting through this one!! You sound like my husband, with the pain and no sleep. He gets so frustrated that he can't do the simplest things some days with out pain. A walker is totally out of the question, even though on real bad days it would help him get around much easier. He's 56 and not ready to go there. Hang in there big guy!! Say "Hey" to Vera from me.
Faith and Hope
Kerry
James...you do know that you don't have to be a hero about this. You can safely takes pain meds as an addict. Just check your motives...do you really need them? Does advil help? Is it long term or just occasionally? Yes, Vera can get the meds and dispense them. It does put some responsibilty on her but that's what wife's are for. She's part of your support team.
Talk to you dr. Don't suffer. We don't heal when we are in that much pain.
You won't lose your clean time.
Love
Lisa
Talk to you dr. Don't suffer. We don't heal when we are in that much pain.
You won't lose your clean time.
Love
Lisa
I agree with Lisa..but I would give them to Vera..I gave mine to Tony..they made me sick anyway and I went back to motrin 800..take care..Love,S
That's what dispense means, Sharon.
Have a great day.
Bumping for James and Vera
Have a great day.
Bumping for James and Vera
ok after reading the above I do have a question??? I told you I was not gonna call my doctor for pills anymore, and that I would resort to having a shot when the pain got really bad, to where I can't even get up out of bed........oh man to be 40 and can't get up......sucks
But I see you state above that if we were to take the pills on an as needed basis for the pain.its not going to ruin clean time.......that is where I have a hard time...here I am on my 10th day.and feel like if I were to need a pill.( and in no ways would it be methadone agian) maybe vico or norco........that I have thrown everything away that I suffered and work hard, lost sleep for...just to pop another pill.......sorry to say i am confused....and feel like I would be a failure...but I am also a BIG BABY when it comes to my back pain
They say if an alchohlic is sober for awhile then has a drink.he has fallen off the wagon..........
But I see you state above that if we were to take the pills on an as needed basis for the pain.its not going to ruin clean time.......that is where I have a hard time...here I am on my 10th day.and feel like if I were to need a pill.( and in no ways would it be methadone agian) maybe vico or norco........that I have thrown everything away that I suffered and work hard, lost sleep for...just to pop another pill.......sorry to say i am confused....and feel like I would be a failure...but I am also a BIG BABY when it comes to my back pain
They say if an alchohlic is sober for awhile then has a drink.he has fallen off the wagon..........
go'nstrong....get the NA basic text and read the chapter "More will be revealed"
It will give you a better insight to what people are calling "justified use"
as long as the meds are DISPENSED by someone else, who is not going to give you more that is prescribed, and if you are in intense pain that requires a stronger medication it is acceptable...
just realize that taking more than is prescribed, or trying to take care of the dosage yourself, will lead back to the ABUSE of the drug
It will give you a better insight to what people are calling "justified use"
as long as the meds are DISPENSED by someone else, who is not going to give you more that is prescribed, and if you are in intense pain that requires a stronger medication it is acceptable...
just realize that taking more than is prescribed, or trying to take care of the dosage yourself, will lead back to the ABUSE of the drug
You have to check your motives. Are you using because you are truly in pain, pain that can't be taken care by any other means, or are you using because you think you have a legit reason to use.
It's complicated, I know and it varies from one person to the next. The rule of thumb in NA is that if it prescribed by a dr for severe pain, you don't get to hold them, someone else dispenses them and you have told your sponsor, then you don't lose your clean time. It's all about clear conscience. If it bothers you and you don't think you're doing the right thing, then you probably aren't. I took pain meds for a couple of days after a lumpectomy, I didn't lose my clean time because I didn't abuse them. I have a clear conscience about that.
Cowgirl
It's complicated, I know and it varies from one person to the next. The rule of thumb in NA is that if it prescribed by a dr for severe pain, you don't get to hold them, someone else dispenses them and you have told your sponsor, then you don't lose your clean time. It's all about clear conscience. If it bothers you and you don't think you're doing the right thing, then you probably aren't. I took pain meds for a couple of days after a lumpectomy, I didn't lose my clean time because I didn't abuse them. I have a clear conscience about that.
Cowgirl
Well that does make sense..thanks.....I know I am gonna be stubborn for awhile and not take anything, who knows maybe when this crap is out of my system I may feel better then I know....except that darn nerve keeps my legs and toes a jumping...LMAO such a pain in the butt.....for real...LOL
Do yourself a favor and unless you have to have major surgery or have a broken bone, don't take anything ever again. There are other ways to deal with pain. Have you thought about NA?
XXX
CG
XXX
CG
Well, Lisa et al, the truth of the matter is that deep down in my heart I know that regardless of how much pain I had to suffer, taking any kind of opiate orally is just way beyond anything I ever want to do again.
The final answer lies within each and every one of us. It's an intensely personal decision that any of us may have to make today, tomorrow, or sometime down the line, especially as we begin to age and the aches and pains can become crippling.
I just can't do it because with me, "One is too many, and one thousand is not enough." It's just the way I am.
So while the doctors continue to scratch their heads in bewilderment and my insurance clock is ticking down to expiration this New Year's Eve, I just have to rely on the big dog Ibuprophen and the lidocaine patches.
Oh, while I'm on the subject, I need some advice/experiences with Ultram. First and foremost, is it in any way an opiate? IIRC I took it a long time ago when I was first diagnosed with FM and it helped the pain considerably better than Ibuprophen.
Aspirin and Tylenol make me very sick to my stomach, Ibuprophen is the only OTC NSAID I can take. That's my reason for asking about Ultram.
God bless all of you and thank you for your kind and considerate replies.
James.
The final answer lies within each and every one of us. It's an intensely personal decision that any of us may have to make today, tomorrow, or sometime down the line, especially as we begin to age and the aches and pains can become crippling.
I just can't do it because with me, "One is too many, and one thousand is not enough." It's just the way I am.
So while the doctors continue to scratch their heads in bewilderment and my insurance clock is ticking down to expiration this New Year's Eve, I just have to rely on the big dog Ibuprophen and the lidocaine patches.
Oh, while I'm on the subject, I need some advice/experiences with Ultram. First and foremost, is it in any way an opiate? IIRC I took it a long time ago when I was first diagnosed with FM and it helped the pain considerably better than Ibuprophen.
Aspirin and Tylenol make me very sick to my stomach, Ibuprophen is the only OTC NSAID I can take. That's my reason for asking about Ultram.
God bless all of you and thank you for your kind and considerate replies.
James.
James
What are you doing to work thru the cravings? It takes a lot of work and time for the cravings to go away. Didn't you used to go to meetings but stopped? I could be wrong and thinking of someone else? There's a lot more to quitting pills than just quitting pills.
12 stepper
What are you doing to work thru the cravings? It takes a lot of work and time for the cravings to go away. Didn't you used to go to meetings but stopped? I could be wrong and thinking of someone else? There's a lot more to quitting pills than just quitting pills.
12 stepper
Yes, ultram is an opiate. When first on the market it was said to be non-narcotic. Big lie. It's harder to get off of than percocet and much more painful. I had a run with that stuff and oh my god. Never again.
You're so right, James, it is personal and up to the individual. Just know that sometimes we over think stuff and it can hurt us.
I hope you're having a better day today.
Love
Lisa
You're so right, James, it is personal and up to the individual. Just know that sometimes we over think stuff and it can hurt us.
I hope you're having a better day today.
Love
Lisa
James..they actually used utram in detox for me..along with clonodine..it is an opiate and causes withdrawal symptoms..I sure wish they would comde up with something better for pain...Sharonn
*scratches Ultram off the list*
thanks everyone.
What are you doing to work thru the cravings? It takes a lot of work and time for the cravings to go away. Didn't you used to go to meetings but stopped? I could be wrong and thinking of someone else? There's a lot more to quitting pills than just quitting pills.
These were acute cravings that didn't carry over to the following day. What I did was discuss it with my wife, which made it all come into focus and realize how stupid it would be for me to start back, even with a "legitimate" reason. Cravings had been far and few between until the other day. Sort of snuck up on me. Thank God I played the tape all the way through.
I did in fact attend 5 NA meetings, then came to realize that my problems were much deeper than drug addiction, so I started seeing a psychologist who helped me get down to the bedrock of what caused me to become an addict in the first place.
And Vera, with her amazing insight, helped me where the therapist couldn't quite fill the gaps.
James.
James, good on you for not going there. Our brain chemisty is forever changed. I am on sub still because of the pain issues.
If the pain gets bad, then I am with Cowgirl on the suffering. But that is a hard call because as addicts, when we get drugs in our system, the switch goes off and here comes Mr. Hyde.
Kerry
If the pain gets bad, then I am with Cowgirl on the suffering. But that is a hard call because as addicts, when we get drugs in our system, the switch goes off and here comes Mr. Hyde.
Kerry
Dear James,
Go back to the thread, Lets not forget / what would you add, and read every one of the posts there I think a reminder is called for.. I understand how you feel but using wont make things better......Painkillers really never got rid of my pain, they just caused more pain........Talk to the dr about alteratives. Feel better......Shel
Go back to the thread, Lets not forget / what would you add, and read every one of the posts there I think a reminder is called for.. I understand how you feel but using wont make things better......Painkillers really never got rid of my pain, they just caused more pain........Talk to the dr about alteratives. Feel better......Shel
Good for you, James. I'm learning that 12 step programs are not for everyone but I've also learned that most people that decide they don't like them haven't been to a lot of meetings or worked the steps. The steps helped me do what therapy did for you I guess. The difference is, I don't get cravings any more. I am very blessed in that. It didnt happen over night but it did happen with work and perserverence (sp?). I guess its the end result and not the path, huh? But I don't have chronic pain to deal with either. I don't know what it would be like for me if I did. I tried therapy for many years and they had me so medicated on ADs and psych drugs I didn't know HOW I felt, if that makes any sense. Once I finally surrendered and quit all pills, I felt a lot better. I am not knocking ADs so please, no one get their panties in a knot. I am just saying how it was for me. Anyway, what I wanted to say is, I'm glad you are doing something besides just quitting pills.
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