I am searching for any advice. I am the wife of a recovering addict. My husband has been seriously addicted to Lorcets for over a year. I have found out about his habit many times before but he would always say he would quit and then he trained me to not push the issue by getting really mad when I would ask questions. I knew something was seriously going on but had no way to prove it. It all started w/ his family b/c most of his family including his mother are hooked on the same pill. That's how he got started. We have two young boys together and this has made the past two years miserable. Just 12 days ago I sat him down at the table and said "how many are you taking a day." He replied w/ 10. I assume prob. more here and there. He went to detox two days later. He was there for only two days and said that there weren't any counselors to talk to (as much as he needed) and most the people in there were there on court order so they weren't much support b/c they didn't want to quit. It was a low budget facility b/c we're broke. Over the days he's been right by my side and experiencing pretty bad withdrawal symptoms...especially his legs hurting. Over the past several days he told me so much information on how bad this had gotten and I had no idea it was to the point that it was...which I should have known because he was never home and had no emotion when I would tell him how miserable he was making our lives. He just always acted like he was doing nothing wrong and would go to whatever lengths to try to make me believe him...usually by getting angry and saying he didn't have to take this. I do know he never meant for this to happen...at first I thought...you just don't care about us enough but now I understand different. It's been 11 days since he's had anything and today he was able to be really active and keep busy w/ chores around the house that have not been done since he started this. I feel so releaved that the truth is finally out after all of the ongoing deception but also so scared of him not being able to beat the temptation...especially since his closest family members always have them available..He is sitting right beside me and we both just want any advice we can get. We were just recently saved..so I'm trying to put it in God's hands and not worry..but it's just not that easy....I just don't want this to rip my family apart. This feels like a new beginning...but I'm still worried.. How can I help him and he help himself to stay strong!?
Sincerely
Worried Sick
Dear Worried
Congratulations on making it this far, we all know how hard it is to do that. Now comes the hard part,which is to remain clean. I think it may be a really good time to think about going to a NA meeting. They really can help. Try not to let your pride get in the way saying something like, "oh I couldn't", or, "I'm going to do this at home. I'm stronger than that, or meetings aren't for me". Please don't wait for your first relapse, or the second, its only harder to make that decision to stop using again.( just trying to save you some misery) Meetings work. Just read how many people go to them. That many people simply can't be wrong. If you don't like the first one,go to a different one. Sometimes one group may be more to your liking.
And stay with your higher power,He won't let you down.
Take care of your health, take care of your soul, (and thank your lucky stars that you still have each other) and take care of each other.
Never tell your partner another lie, ever.
Trust each other, and be trusted.
and live each day, as if it were your last.
God bless you both. Your family will be in my prayers tonight. Please stay in touch, as this board can help alot. Read some of the stories people share, and learn from their mistakes. Write for answers when you make some too. We all care about you and want you to make it.
I'm so tired so i will say good night. Please stay in touch. I'll keep my eye open for you to see how you are doing.There are so many people on here who can answer almost anything you want to know. I personally respect what most have to say. All my love to you and the children.
Phar Macy
Congratulations on making it this far, we all know how hard it is to do that. Now comes the hard part,which is to remain clean. I think it may be a really good time to think about going to a NA meeting. They really can help. Try not to let your pride get in the way saying something like, "oh I couldn't", or, "I'm going to do this at home. I'm stronger than that, or meetings aren't for me". Please don't wait for your first relapse, or the second, its only harder to make that decision to stop using again.( just trying to save you some misery) Meetings work. Just read how many people go to them. That many people simply can't be wrong. If you don't like the first one,go to a different one. Sometimes one group may be more to your liking.
And stay with your higher power,He won't let you down.
Take care of your health, take care of your soul, (and thank your lucky stars that you still have each other) and take care of each other.
Never tell your partner another lie, ever.
Trust each other, and be trusted.
and live each day, as if it were your last.
God bless you both. Your family will be in my prayers tonight. Please stay in touch, as this board can help alot. Read some of the stories people share, and learn from their mistakes. Write for answers when you make some too. We all care about you and want you to make it.
I'm so tired so i will say good night. Please stay in touch. I'll keep my eye open for you to see how you are doing.There are so many people on here who can answer almost anything you want to know. I personally respect what most have to say. All my love to you and the children.
Phar Macy
please read the messages on this board and you will realize that you are not alone. everyone here wants to stop using or help someone they love stop using. it can be done. it is hard work but with suppor- it is attainable. i pray for your husbands recovery. stay strong and fight that battle together!
