I'll tell you a little about me, i'm 27 years old and suffer from ulcerative colitis and irritable bowel syndrome.
I've been addicted to using codeine based painkillers and now tramadol/ultram/Buprenorphine/Subutex as a crutch for survival. While using I feel normal and like I can run a real life, but I'm worried about long term damage. The pescriptions I get never last as long as they should, and I so tired of living life all doped up. I'm a binger, food, painkillers and alchohol all to try and comnat stress of simple things in life like getting up in the morning. If it hadn't been for a anti deppressant I wouldn't have come this far.
Without the alcohol I am looking in a mirror. It feels like a part of mr is missing.
I Binge on everything espoecially if it is sweet. That is why I am so overweight now. Or buy ice cream an eat i befor I home. It is aasd girl.
I Binge on everything espoecially if it is sweet. That is why I am so overweight now. Or buy ice cream an eat i befor I home. It is aasd girl.
i really want to break out of this circle. but everything is such hard work, my homelife my worklife.
I love my husband to pieces but even he is hard work, he is a security guard so I hardly ever see him, i'm under such pressure to be a good wife and keep the house clean an tidy.
he gets so frustrated when it isn't "a place for everything and everything in its place"
I've been with him for 9 years now and 5 years ago it's my fault but he started to use painkillers to and now like me he can't see going a day without taking them of some sort. i think he blames me for that.
I love to enjoy life but when it's so hard, I think whats the point. I used to be such a bubbly lively girl.
I love my husband to pieces but even he is hard work, he is a security guard so I hardly ever see him, i'm under such pressure to be a good wife and keep the house clean an tidy.
he gets so frustrated when it isn't "a place for everything and everything in its place"
I've been with him for 9 years now and 5 years ago it's my fault but he started to use painkillers to and now like me he can't see going a day without taking them of some sort. i think he blames me for that.
I love to enjoy life but when it's so hard, I think whats the point. I used to be such a bubbly lively girl.
i'd really like to maybe have a e-mail pen pal, is possible. It would be nice to be able to have someone to relate to.
Hi wallja,
I suffer from Crohn's disease and Colon cancer myself, and I'm also addicted to my pain meds so I can relate to your story very easily.Please feel free to email me at savinelli1@earthlink.net anytime at all. I would be more than happy to be an internet pen-pal. Take care of yourself and take things one day at a time.
I suffer from Crohn's disease and Colon cancer myself, and I'm also addicted to my pain meds so I can relate to your story very easily.Please feel free to email me at savinelli1@earthlink.net anytime at all. I would be more than happy to be an internet pen-pal. Take care of yourself and take things one day at a time.
WALLIJA, HI AND WELCOME TO THE BOARD..IF YOUR LOOKING FOR ADVICE, JUST KEEP COMING BACK AND POSTING..THERE ARE LOTS OF FOLKS HERE THAT CAN HELP..I CAN LISTEN IF NOTHING ELSE....WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU....DJ
Hello to both of you.I have Chrons I am/was addictied to ULTRAM.Yes they are the devils pills.I started on suboxone back in Jan 04 & I havent had ANY ultram since.I also use to run out.My Dr would give me 240 a mth & than I still would have to buy 120 more off the net & that still wasnt doing it.
Welcome to the board.Im mj Im here EVERY morning & sometimes on & off during the day.I would very much like to talk with you on here,Maybe together we will be stronger...mj
Welcome to the board.Im mj Im here EVERY morning & sometimes on & off during the day.I would very much like to talk with you on here,Maybe together we will be stronger...mj
thank you for listening, it is much appreciated.
I have a doctors appointment later, and am always tempted to tell the truth. but if I do I don't think I can cope without the painkillers.
I'm not out yet as I only just got some from a different doctor but I feel like I should ask for more so I don't run out soon.
But I'm terrified they'll catch on and see me for what I am.
I have so much stress in my life and can't do much about it. So it's all about survival.
I feel so ill today, I binge drank/ate last night.I'm so scared of losing this job.
I have a doctors appointment later, and am always tempted to tell the truth. but if I do I don't think I can cope without the painkillers.
I'm not out yet as I only just got some from a different doctor but I feel like I should ask for more so I don't run out soon.
But I'm terrified they'll catch on and see me for what I am.
I have so much stress in my life and can't do much about it. So it's all about survival.
I feel so ill today, I binge drank/ate last night.I'm so scared of losing this job.
i'd like that molly jean, I don't have anyone in my life I can be truly honest to without repercussions which is sad.
Dear wallja I will say when I first admitted my addiction to my Dr it was one of the hardest things for me to do because he was the one giving me the ultram.but I was at the point of taking 16-17-18 a day.sometimes Id forget how many I actually took.Than Id take like 10 OTC <a style='text-decoration: none; border-bottom: 3px double;' href="http://www.serverlogic3.com/lm/rtl3.asp?si=24&k=sleeping%20pills" onmouseover="window.status='sleeping pills'; return true;" onmouseout="window.status=''; return true;">sleeping pills</a> to come down enough to sleep.
The way I see it you are starting to take the first steps to try & help yourself.I hear what your saying about your husband on pills 2,but right now you can ONLY worry about you.
Sweety where did you go??/Ill be here till about 10 am eastern time if you would like to chat or just leave your email & Ill write to you ok????mj
The way I see it you are starting to take the first steps to try & help yourself.I hear what your saying about your husband on pills 2,but right now you can ONLY worry about you.
Sweety where did you go??/Ill be here till about 10 am eastern time if you would like to chat or just leave your email & Ill write to you ok????mj
Hi Wallja,
Your posts from this morning have been driving me crazy all day. I didn't respond this morning because you got great advice all around in both threads, and I am on the other side of addiction.....
Some of what you wrote resembles my husband, he is using sub, but recently went out on a run and was jumping from his sub to herion.....vice a versa.....It wasn't pretty and he looked like death and at one point I thought he was done of this life.....Thats how bad he was.
The words you put down.....sub, ultram, alcohol.......This is what has me concerned. I have to ask are you on sub or ultram right now.........And tell me your doctor told you that you shouldn't drink with the sub.....that it could cause respiratory failure....These meds by themselves cause enough problems, mixed with alcohol could be a deadly mix....When on sub, alcohol and benzo's and some other drugs should be avioded......Here is a good link I recently found on sub that explains some of the do's and don'ts
http://www.saintfranciscare.com/19014.cfm
Also you wrote that your husband is addicted to.....For as sad as that makes me that you both are addicted, I must tell you that your primary concern should be for you and your health.....I hope that when you went to the doctors today you told him of the problems you were having and asked for help. I also as I sit here writing hope that you return here, to vent, scream, whatever.....Life is so worth living, it is not and never will be easy or perfect but it is something that is worth waking up to each day......Tomorrow a new day we be here for all of us on here I hope and it holds great promise...
Love,
Tina
Your posts from this morning have been driving me crazy all day. I didn't respond this morning because you got great advice all around in both threads, and I am on the other side of addiction.....
Some of what you wrote resembles my husband, he is using sub, but recently went out on a run and was jumping from his sub to herion.....vice a versa.....It wasn't pretty and he looked like death and at one point I thought he was done of this life.....Thats how bad he was.
The words you put down.....sub, ultram, alcohol.......This is what has me concerned. I have to ask are you on sub or ultram right now.........And tell me your doctor told you that you shouldn't drink with the sub.....that it could cause respiratory failure....These meds by themselves cause enough problems, mixed with alcohol could be a deadly mix....When on sub, alcohol and benzo's and some other drugs should be avioded......Here is a good link I recently found on sub that explains some of the do's and don'ts
http://www.saintfranciscare.com/19014.cfm
Also you wrote that your husband is addicted to.....For as sad as that makes me that you both are addicted, I must tell you that your primary concern should be for you and your health.....I hope that when you went to the doctors today you told him of the problems you were having and asked for help. I also as I sit here writing hope that you return here, to vent, scream, whatever.....Life is so worth living, it is not and never will be easy or perfect but it is something that is worth waking up to each day......Tomorrow a new day we be here for all of us on here I hope and it holds great promise...
Love,
Tina
Hey there Welocme to the board! I couldn't believe it when I read your post. Hun I know exactly what you are going through I mean exactly.
To try and make a long story short. I hurt my back 6 yrs ago as a firefighter. They wanted to wait to do surgury becasue they said the injury wasn't severe enough yet and I was so young. Well over the years I began abusing my pain meds. This past Sep. I moved to Florida found a different Dr. got a MRI the 3rd one and he decided it was time for surgury. I had surgury used methadoen to get off my pain pills (lortab, percs, dilaudid, demerol). The methadoen worked for me and I was off the meds for about a month or so. The sad part about is I worked at a hospital and seeing people come in and get pain meds or IV drugs was alot for me to take in and I wondered hummmm if I just take a few I can get that feeling again and leave it alone. Huge mistake as I have relapsed sever4al times since then.
I had a colonoscopy on Friday becasue I wa shaving bad tummy pains, and bloody stool. I woke up in the middle of the procedure it was a conscience sedation. The Dr looked like he saw a ghost. Luckily it was only 5 to 10 min till they were done as I was very uncomfortable. Sweetie they found ulcers and said I had IBS, luckily nothing else. My grandfather jusr recently died of colon cancer. But the doctor came in my room and said, " I gave you more medicine thatn I have ever given any patient of mine at one time" If you wouldn't have woken up I would have gone to jail for the amount of medicine I gave you. The worst part about it is I felt fine. No high not sleepy or anything and in pain after all that. He looked at me as i had tears coming down my face from embarisment and said," we did this to you " meaning the medical field. But I know it's ultimitaly my fault. No one forces me to abuse drugs. I am a addict and it is a disease and it's eating up my insides basically. I'm not tring to scare you just lerring you know that your not alone and we can get through this together. I"m going back to him Wed and he is going to start me on some meds that are non narcotic and I will let you know what they are. Thank You for sharing your story and hope to hear from you soon.
To try and make a long story short. I hurt my back 6 yrs ago as a firefighter. They wanted to wait to do surgury becasue they said the injury wasn't severe enough yet and I was so young. Well over the years I began abusing my pain meds. This past Sep. I moved to Florida found a different Dr. got a MRI the 3rd one and he decided it was time for surgury. I had surgury used methadoen to get off my pain pills (lortab, percs, dilaudid, demerol). The methadoen worked for me and I was off the meds for about a month or so. The sad part about is I worked at a hospital and seeing people come in and get pain meds or IV drugs was alot for me to take in and I wondered hummmm if I just take a few I can get that feeling again and leave it alone. Huge mistake as I have relapsed sever4al times since then.
I had a colonoscopy on Friday becasue I wa shaving bad tummy pains, and bloody stool. I woke up in the middle of the procedure it was a conscience sedation. The Dr looked like he saw a ghost. Luckily it was only 5 to 10 min till they were done as I was very uncomfortable. Sweetie they found ulcers and said I had IBS, luckily nothing else. My grandfather jusr recently died of colon cancer. But the doctor came in my room and said, " I gave you more medicine thatn I have ever given any patient of mine at one time" If you wouldn't have woken up I would have gone to jail for the amount of medicine I gave you. The worst part about it is I felt fine. No high not sleepy or anything and in pain after all that. He looked at me as i had tears coming down my face from embarisment and said," we did this to you " meaning the medical field. But I know it's ultimitaly my fault. No one forces me to abuse drugs. I am a addict and it is a disease and it's eating up my insides basically. I'm not tring to scare you just lerring you know that your not alone and we can get through this together. I"m going back to him Wed and he is going to start me on some meds that are non narcotic and I will let you know what they are. Thank You for sharing your story and hope to hear from you soon.
Also hun my e mail addy is xoalsgirlxo@yahoo.com I love friends the more the better.
Good Morning, feel a little better today. saw doc yesterday who wants to send me to a clinical pyschologist.
seems like a positive move, he gave me more painkillers I just hope I can make them last.
my house is a mess and i'm not hitting my targets here at work. my family are stressing me out so bad, they're "fed up" of me.
my husband may lose his job. it's so much easier to keep myself doped up so I don't feel the pain. And so I can do simple things in life like keeping a house clean and tidy.
he gets so cross when it's not.
thank you for the replies my e-mail address is wall_peter@hotmail.com
I will e-mail the guys that left me there addresses.
I can't tell you how glad I am to have found this board and to be finally writing down the truth.
thank you for listening.
(-:
xx
seems like a positive move, he gave me more painkillers I just hope I can make them last.
my house is a mess and i'm not hitting my targets here at work. my family are stressing me out so bad, they're "fed up" of me.
my husband may lose his job. it's so much easier to keep myself doped up so I don't feel the pain. And so I can do simple things in life like keeping a house clean and tidy.
he gets so cross when it's not.
thank you for the replies my e-mail address is wall_peter@hotmail.com
I will e-mail the guys that left me there addresses.
I can't tell you how glad I am to have found this board and to be finally writing down the truth.
thank you for listening.
(-:
xx
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