hey...anyone out here tonight? im not having such a good time of it....oh well...didnt expect all this craziness going on...shes gone...drunk and crazy and yellin at me and texting s*** and im worried....cant sleep ....like i could anyways...but hell...aw well...i keep on writing in the diary thing...its keeping me sane...sort of...well..if anyone wakes up and wants to keep a jonsing detoxing worried junkie company for a bit im out here and will check back...
Aint time for bed yet here.
Try not to freak yourself out to much, there is nothing you can do right now except worry for and take care of you.
Remember she drank cause she wanted to, she is mad cause she wants to be
Try not to take it personalit isnt yours and dont be her punching bag, or the doormatYou are worth more
Hang in there sweetie and try to get some rest, or maybe go and treat yourself to a nice hot bath to take the edge off
Hugs,
Tina
Try not to freak yourself out to much, there is nothing you can do right now except worry for and take care of you.
Remember she drank cause she wanted to, she is mad cause she wants to be
Try not to take it personalit isnt yours and dont be her punching bag, or the doormatYou are worth more
Hang in there sweetie and try to get some rest, or maybe go and treat yourself to a nice hot bath to take the edge off
Hugs,
Tina
Hey Con, 5 to 12 over here in scotland. I'm still up , you ok?
Hiya con, 12.05 am in sunny Cardiff.....(waves)...my ex was screaming and shouting down the 'phone at me today....I'm finally getting to a place where it doesn't rip me to shreds inside.....
And Tina's been part of that journey, pushing sense into my dull little noggin. She drinks because she wants to, she shouts because she needs to and none of it has anything to do with you matey. (Edit: not Tina of course...lol)
Be good to yourself.
And Tina's been part of that journey, pushing sense into my dull little noggin. She drinks because she wants to, she shouts because she needs to and none of it has anything to do with you matey. (Edit: not Tina of course...lol)
Be good to yourself.
hi con
im going to be up for a bit too - it's 00:17 and am watching the villa, that intellectual powerhouse of a programme (but so much fun!)
im going to be up for a bit too - it's 00:17 and am watching the villa, that intellectual powerhouse of a programme (but so much fun!)
AM STILL UP TOO CON,WE R ALL HERE LOOKIN OUT 4U.ECKIE
hey con i'm logging off now - had a v late one last night and falling asleep on teh sofa!
hope your night gets better. take care of yourself!
hope your night gets better. take care of yourself!
hey all, good to hear your voices. What a night ...her friend and her kept calling me back until like 3 this morning...i finally just stopped answering the phone...they were both drunk...she said my score buddy had called yest. morning and told her i was in need of some help...that he was concerned about me...i couldnt get a hold of him to ask if he would do such a thng but who knows..it felt like a damn intervention...guess some other friends had weighed in too and had pretty much ratted me out as far as my use...i could appreciate the concern if it hadnt been what it was...felt more like a game that she had started so she could have an excuse to not to go with me next week and a reason to go out drinking all night...shes still not home...i finally caught some sleep...if thats what you can call it...i was so stressed out last night ...alone and feeling like crap...my head playing games...i was so angry...but i didnt cave...though at one point all i wanted to do was act like a angry child and do the I`'ll show you junkie if you want junkie thing...but i didnt...even after tearing up the house looking for anything that i might have stashed...pulling out the works...ah what a long haunted night...still clean...not all that proud of it at the moment...dont know whats going to happen today...whose gonna show up...dont think they need to pull an intervention on me now...i mean ehy now...its all a bit contrived....not sincere...shes going on now about how she thinks i shuld go alone to the states so we can have some time apart..etc...etc...makes me furious she would use my habit as an excuse to get what she wants....thanks for being here guys...thanks for listening...
Morning Con.... Hope saturday brings you a wee bit of happiness. That emotional head f***, you don't need it do you? Not whilst what you are trying to do....all the best Con, Kev
Morn Dee...ya for sure...had enough drama for a lifetime now i think...hell...in a way im glad this morning im alone...at least its quiet.....actually what i need is a ciggerette :) ....
Con, grab yourself a cig, get a coffee or a cup o tea then go to you tube, type in a song that really does it for you and just chill for 5 mins...Dr's orders, ok? Have a break....
That is just f*cked up
As if at the time you didnt have enough voices in your head, you got crazy ones from all around
Very cool you didnt cave, stay in that how you got through the night no matter what was going on around
You did real good
Remember you dont deserve this insanity
Hope you have the best day possible despite the circumstances
Be good to you.
Love,
Tina
As if at the time you didnt have enough voices in your head, you got crazy ones from all around
Very cool you didnt cave, stay in that how you got through the night no matter what was going on around
You did real good
Remember you dont deserve this insanity
Hope you have the best day possible despite the circumstances
Be good to you.
Love,
Tina
Hi Con, hope things are better. Know what ya mean about the intervention thing - I think that horse is long gone. Hope ya missus has calmed down a bit, girl - was that the wrong thing to say, I'm just kinda interested - anyway, I bet she's just blowin' off some steam. You put her though s***, so she's just givin' a bit of payback. Sometimes it's better that way, evens out the good old scales of Karma. Anyway, hows your gran? Any more thoughts about going back home to see her? If you went back to see her, the space might remind your girl of the reasons she loves you, instead of the reasons she wants to wring your neck - LOL!
Take care
Diff x
Take care
Diff x
Ahhhhh, the wonders of wds...hi all...holding steady...wife has calmed down...sort of...shes still wringing my neck as Diff so aptly put it...made me laugh...too right....and it turns out it WAS my score buddy calling her up...seems he called her up and said a lot of stuff that just freaked her out... pretty angry he upset my wife like that..never get between us...anyways yesterday was just obviously too fun all around...shes yelling ultimatums...me or the drugs...hell day for sure...and at one point i went out...yes..i had it in mind to score...but i didnt...walked about and sat at the water to think...so were flying...she hasnt made a total commitment yet but by tommorow the flights will be booked so...thats that...just have to deal with work on monday...im feeling the worst of everything today i think,,,,sweatin buckets....hittin full on ..hope this is the peak....cuz i sure as hell dont want to work feeling like this....this is all just so classic dynamics...i know...hell i cant even go up to the bath without her asking me what im doing up there...let me see your eyes...on and on...and im doing the classic junkie dance...just want to shake my head sometimes...ya...im kind of scared...just to think being without doc forever sends chills of terror...but i know its just the thought...im doing ok...does anyone ever feel really one hundred percent happy that their clean ?...im glad because i know i need to be...but...im sad...cuz i miss it...i miss it...and its the craving obviously thats gong to kick my a** next week,,,but even so...even though i know its better...that im clean...that im doing the right thing...i miss it...damn...i really miss it
Hey Con, yeah me too, Some days i think it's the worst thing i put in me and others i think it's the best. But, what i don't miss is all the sh*t that goes with it, and we all know that the sh*t alwys happens...always happens. Yeah you are doing the right thing, it might not feel like that just now, but you are... Have a good day,Kev
Con, how ya doin, honey?
Chica giving ya great admiration and respect cause I'd be crying like a newborn if I was you right now.........WAIT.........I did that.
Think of it like not forever................ya know like never, ever again..........just maybe say to yourself...................UNTIL.............after I see my grandmom and then after I get back I gotta go another X amount of days............sort of like the one day at a time thing.
Might make it easier..............you're doing good Con.........really good now just keep it up and you're all square.............been thinking of ya.
Chica giving ya great admiration and respect cause I'd be crying like a newborn if I was you right now.........WAIT.........I did that.
Think of it like not forever................ya know like never, ever again..........just maybe say to yourself...................UNTIL.............after I see my grandmom and then after I get back I gotta go another X amount of days............sort of like the one day at a time thing.
Might make it easier..............you're doing good Con.........really good now just keep it up and you're all square.............been thinking of ya.
