Good morning.
I, like everyone has tons of regrets and especially guilt...I'm a mom!!! (i think it is inborn in the kids to make us feel guilty over everything) Right now I"m having lots of issues with my soon to be 18 yr old daughter.
She is really starting to resent the fact I go to meetings. When I told her yesterday morning that I'd be going to one right after work. She said to me "I don't even know why you go to them so often, its just a big old social" When I am home she is either on the computer, phone, doing homework or in her room. Doesn't even pay attention to the fact that I'm there.
See, here's the thing...she has met my new friends on social levels. Running into us after a meeting when we are out for coffee and then last Saturday night one of my new friends invited her to come bowling with us...alot of younger ones were there. So all she has seen is us in social situations.
I was so upset at my meeting last night. It was a "just for today" discussion. I lost it. Saying that things seemed so much easier when I was using. And to F it all....
I have tried talking to her about it all. She says I've turned into a b**** since I've become clean. If being a b**** means I"m aware of whats going on around me and I'm alive again then Hell ya, I'm a big ole b****.
After talking to a friend after the meeting I realized that the kids got used to me being one way and now that I'm another way, a better way, they have some adjustments too, we all do. I just assumed they'd embrace my recovery with open arms. I have some decisions to make I guess. Go to less meetings I suppose. I'm trying really hard but that brick wall keeps messing up my nose!!!!
Thanks for listening to me rant
Hilary
Hillary,good morning.
That was a very wise observation and so true.I've even seen spouses divorce after one got sober because they were no longer in a fog and not being manipulated.It can cause a lot of turmoil and resentment.
I think the end result will be that she will end up respecting you even more and be proud of her new mom.Give it some time.Maybe ask her if she feels like you are not spending enough time with her and make a special day where you and her could do something together that's not program related.
I don't know what your relationship was like with her when you were using but generally addicts say "yes" to about anything just not to have dissention.I know I did.
I had workers stealing from me,talking on their cell phones when I wasn't around,and generally "f***ing off" without any accountability.When I got clean,several quit because they realized they had to go to work.All of a sudden I was aware of everything going down and it created a lot of havoc.I was no longer a doormat.They liked me when I was practically comotose.
I now am down to one full time employee and get workers as I need them.I stay on the job sites and monitor everything.The party is over.
Change isn't just hard on us even if it's positive.Just hold on to your principles and as long as she is a dependent,there are rules to follow and if it's been chaotic in the past,they're not going to like it.Try and do from a place of love but be firm.Don't let her to effect your meeting schedule or what you need to do to stay clean.Cuttting back on meetings is the last thing to do right now.It's a life and death situation but when you are 18 everything is short term and about them.
Keep up the good work.It's o.k you ranted at the meeting,that's what they are there for.It's better than homocide.
P.S.I felt the same way when I got clean.I thought there would be celebrations in the streets.Needless to say,I was quite dissapointed.
| QUOTE |
| After talking to a friend after the meeting I realized that the kids got used to me being one way and now that I'm another way, a better way, they have some adjustments too, we all do. I just assumed they'd embrace my recovery with open arms. |
That was a very wise observation and so true.I've even seen spouses divorce after one got sober because they were no longer in a fog and not being manipulated.It can cause a lot of turmoil and resentment.
I think the end result will be that she will end up respecting you even more and be proud of her new mom.Give it some time.Maybe ask her if she feels like you are not spending enough time with her and make a special day where you and her could do something together that's not program related.
I don't know what your relationship was like with her when you were using but generally addicts say "yes" to about anything just not to have dissention.I know I did.
I had workers stealing from me,talking on their cell phones when I wasn't around,and generally "f***ing off" without any accountability.When I got clean,several quit because they realized they had to go to work.All of a sudden I was aware of everything going down and it created a lot of havoc.I was no longer a doormat.They liked me when I was practically comotose.
I now am down to one full time employee and get workers as I need them.I stay on the job sites and monitor everything.The party is over.
Change isn't just hard on us even if it's positive.Just hold on to your principles and as long as she is a dependent,there are rules to follow and if it's been chaotic in the past,they're not going to like it.Try and do from a place of love but be firm.Don't let her to effect your meeting schedule or what you need to do to stay clean.Cuttting back on meetings is the last thing to do right now.It's a life and death situation but when you are 18 everything is short term and about them.
Keep up the good work.It's o.k you ranted at the meeting,that's what they are there for.It's better than homocide.
P.S.I felt the same way when I got clean.I thought there would be celebrations in the streets.Needless to say,I was quite dissapointed.
Froggy, my wife has two daughters. She divorced when they were pre school age, and got sober around that time. The older one in particular resented AA for a long time.
One day in a meeting, my wifes sponsor confessed that she was worried about whether she was a good mother. She told her sponsor that she was worried that her kids would need therapy some day and would talk about her to the shrink. Her sponsor just smiled knowingly and replied of course they will, dear. One of those children recently picked up a 4 year chip, BTW.
My wifes oldest was especially resentful of AA and went through a period where she flaunted her own drinking in front of her mother just to rub it in. Needless to say, all concerned saw that this child had the gene.
Fact is your daughter is nearly an adult. She may not like the changes that you are going through. You may not be nearly as compliant, and this may make it more difficult for her to get her way. She may act out in rebellion. I have no doubt the medical journalists will be banging down your door to observe the strange phenomena of a teenage girl acting out against her mother.
Having said that, I have no doubt that you are displaying some of the signs of early recovery. Your emotions are raw, and you may be quick to anger. BTW, if you find a sponsor, she can help you take the edge off this behavior by working the steps. I know, I know. There are no womens meetings north of the 38th parallel.I put a link below that will give you a start. Check back with me after you put 200,000 miles on your car.
AA Meetings for Froggy
If that does not work, call the hot line and ask them. I guarantee you there is a female sponsor in Canada that will have you. Sorry to nag you. I guess I have not gained the courage to let go of that character defect yet, but know that I do it out of a deep sense of concern for you.
You have to do this for you, Hilary. Your relationship with your daughter will eventually balance out. It may take a while She cannot divorce you, though. Believe me, I tried to get a divorce from my family and the courts just were not set up for it. She will come around in time, probably when she reaches maturity. I am pretty sure that I finally reached maturity last month.
In the meantime, hang in there.
One day in a meeting, my wifes sponsor confessed that she was worried about whether she was a good mother. She told her sponsor that she was worried that her kids would need therapy some day and would talk about her to the shrink. Her sponsor just smiled knowingly and replied of course they will, dear. One of those children recently picked up a 4 year chip, BTW.
My wifes oldest was especially resentful of AA and went through a period where she flaunted her own drinking in front of her mother just to rub it in. Needless to say, all concerned saw that this child had the gene.
Fact is your daughter is nearly an adult. She may not like the changes that you are going through. You may not be nearly as compliant, and this may make it more difficult for her to get her way. She may act out in rebellion. I have no doubt the medical journalists will be banging down your door to observe the strange phenomena of a teenage girl acting out against her mother.
Having said that, I have no doubt that you are displaying some of the signs of early recovery. Your emotions are raw, and you may be quick to anger. BTW, if you find a sponsor, she can help you take the edge off this behavior by working the steps. I know, I know. There are no womens meetings north of the 38th parallel.I put a link below that will give you a start. Check back with me after you put 200,000 miles on your car.
AA Meetings for Froggy
If that does not work, call the hot line and ask them. I guarantee you there is a female sponsor in Canada that will have you. Sorry to nag you. I guess I have not gained the courage to let go of that character defect yet, but know that I do it out of a deep sense of concern for you.
You have to do this for you, Hilary. Your relationship with your daughter will eventually balance out. It may take a while She cannot divorce you, though. Believe me, I tried to get a divorce from my family and the courts just were not set up for it. She will come around in time, probably when she reaches maturity. I am pretty sure that I finally reached maturity last month.
In the meantime, hang in there.
Froggy,
Listen to August, his post was dead on. Take the suggestions as your life depends on it, this is a deadly disease and it wants us dead, not in recovery.
I have some decisions to make I guess. Go to less meetings I suppose. I'm trying really hard but that brick wall keeps messing up my nose!!!!
Before you make any decisions, might I suggest you pray about it and ask your HP to lead you to the best decision for you? Cutting back at meetings this early in recovery, without working the steps is not in your best interest for staying clean. These decisions that are taunting you are some of the same things I went through in early recovery that my sponsor helped me work through. I remember around the 9 mo mark, I was feeling guilty because I wasn't making dinner every night right after work and my sponsor told me, if they're hungry, they will learn to feed themselves....fast forward to today, I never knew my husband knew how to cook and how good he can cook once I let go of controlling everything, he not only cooks some of the meals during the week but really enjoys doing it.
I have 4 kids, my daughter was right around 17yrs old when her resentment started with meetings, she was used to being the center of my attention and what I did for her was let her deal with her own feelings with the help of a therapist and the funny thing was, at her 1st session, her counselor suggested she start journaling, and she laughed when she told me, she said it felt like she had her own "sponsor" which shed some light on the situation, and after a couple months of therapy, our relationship changed so much for the better. My youngest son (now 15) has been going with me to meetings for the last 3 1/2 yrs and know's all my friends, has a few phone numbers and goes to my sponsor's house on his "breaks" from school to help her out and hang out with her and her husband.
Many, many years ago when my dad got sober (I was around 12yrs old), he went to AA and we'd go to the family functions and I remembered the laughter and joy there so when I hit that bottom myself, I knew exactly where I needed to be....It was a gift he gave me, to know where to go when I had lost all hope.
We never know what life is going to unfold for our children but I do know today, by taking care of myself and making my recovery my priority, I am not only being the best mom I can be for my kids but I'm also showing them where they can find help and a solution if they find themselves in trouble with drugs or/and alcohol.
Change is scary not only for the addict but for the families too...the uncertainities of change is what most people fear but I've found when I embrace changes, my family is also getting healthier and living their own lives with peace and freedom from the dysfunction of active addition.
Hug your daughter, tell her you're sorry that she's feeling resentful but in order for you to be the best mom you can be for her, you need to attend meetings in order to stay clean and then let it go. Not only are we powerless over addiction, we're powerless over people and their feelings & actions.
((hugs))
This too shall pass...
xoxo
Stacey
Listen to August, his post was dead on. Take the suggestions as your life depends on it, this is a deadly disease and it wants us dead, not in recovery.
I have some decisions to make I guess. Go to less meetings I suppose. I'm trying really hard but that brick wall keeps messing up my nose!!!!
Before you make any decisions, might I suggest you pray about it and ask your HP to lead you to the best decision for you? Cutting back at meetings this early in recovery, without working the steps is not in your best interest for staying clean. These decisions that are taunting you are some of the same things I went through in early recovery that my sponsor helped me work through. I remember around the 9 mo mark, I was feeling guilty because I wasn't making dinner every night right after work and my sponsor told me, if they're hungry, they will learn to feed themselves....fast forward to today, I never knew my husband knew how to cook and how good he can cook once I let go of controlling everything, he not only cooks some of the meals during the week but really enjoys doing it.
I have 4 kids, my daughter was right around 17yrs old when her resentment started with meetings, she was used to being the center of my attention and what I did for her was let her deal with her own feelings with the help of a therapist and the funny thing was, at her 1st session, her counselor suggested she start journaling, and she laughed when she told me, she said it felt like she had her own "sponsor" which shed some light on the situation, and after a couple months of therapy, our relationship changed so much for the better. My youngest son (now 15) has been going with me to meetings for the last 3 1/2 yrs and know's all my friends, has a few phone numbers and goes to my sponsor's house on his "breaks" from school to help her out and hang out with her and her husband.
Many, many years ago when my dad got sober (I was around 12yrs old), he went to AA and we'd go to the family functions and I remembered the laughter and joy there so when I hit that bottom myself, I knew exactly where I needed to be....It was a gift he gave me, to know where to go when I had lost all hope.
We never know what life is going to unfold for our children but I do know today, by taking care of myself and making my recovery my priority, I am not only being the best mom I can be for my kids but I'm also showing them where they can find help and a solution if they find themselves in trouble with drugs or/and alcohol.
Change is scary not only for the addict but for the families too...the uncertainities of change is what most people fear but I've found when I embrace changes, my family is also getting healthier and living their own lives with peace and freedom from the dysfunction of active addition.
Hug your daughter, tell her you're sorry that she's feeling resentful but in order for you to be the best mom you can be for her, you need to attend meetings in order to stay clean and then let it go. Not only are we powerless over addiction, we're powerless over people and their feelings & actions.
((hugs))
This too shall pass...
xoxo
Stacey
oh gosh - please bear with me, froggy, as i plagiarize myself (again for about the 4th time on this board), because basically i'm lazy and don't feel like typing this all out again - i know, i know - a shortcoming of mine, which i address daily. in a message posted to someone else on this board a few 24 hours ago, i have reposted to you. i hope i get the name changed correctly, but then again, sometimes the cheese falls off of my cracker!
good morning, froggy - my goodness - a novella - didn't mean to get so wordy here but here goes.
it was kind of difficult for me to successfully "shuffle off to buffalo" when i didn't have my tap shoes on!
with that being said, there are a lot of "dances" in life that i find myself involved in. my old solution was to use - to blot myself out because i always found myself in the precarious situation of standing there with two left feet - not sure of myself or what foot to put in the right direction. it wasn't comfortable and good grief, i didn't want to be uncomfortable. more oft than not, the only time i ever opened my mouth was to change feet! didn't leave too good of a taste in my mouth or anyone else's palate for that much!
one of the best lessons i learned early on in recovery came from a book titled "the dance of anger". it is authored by dr. harriet lerner. something dr. lerner points out in this book is a premise that we all learned in the 5th or 6th grade science class. it has to do with one of the laws of science that sir isaac newton discovered - i believe it's the second law of motion. to paraphrase, it goes something like this:
with every change, it is met with a counterchange.
wow! knock my socks off! did this law just apply to things like matter, force, electrons, protons, and fig newtons (that happens to be one of my favorite lines from an old tv sit-com reel) OR could this apply to things as relationships - relationships between family member, friends, and society in general that i found myself in?
one of the first times i got clean, i remember my husband looking at me with a wary eye too. first off - the old goof had it in his mind that all i had to do was stop using and everything would be rosy. you just stop the drug and we will return to a life of oblivion and bliss. NOT.
here i was going to an outpatient group - going to meetings and all of sudden, like a bolt out of the blue, he was saying things like "whaddaya think i am, a babysitter?" or "are you going out with your new party friends again tonight?" or "what's so funny? i haven't seen you laugh so hard since you were high
- are you using again?"
huh?
did i miss something here?
a party? a babysitter for your own children? i'm not suppose to laugh while in a clean state of mind?
golly gee, wally - i was only trying to recover from the deadly disease of addiction but i didn't understand how to handle the situation, froggy. (let me wallow in this self-pity and victim hood for a few 24 hours) i found myself standing there with two left feet - tripping and stumbling all over the place and pretty soon, my frustrations built into resentments. while carrying around those resentments i resorted to behavior that was prior to recovery attempts - comfortable. i quit going to meetings, quit going to IOP, quit my support system for the recovery from this disease. it was just a short matter of time that i picked up. how dare you or anyone put me in a state where i was uncomfortable! wheweeee - my resentments took me right out of here.
yet what i didn't understand back then - and it took me quite a few 24 hours to learn this, is that this disease of addiction...this disease does not discriminate. not only does the affect the one who is the user - it affects our family members, our friends, and all those who we come into contact with. our family members, bless their hearts, probably more so than others. if you check out the big book you will see how profoundly this disease affects our family - there's a entire freakin' chapter devoted to this.
anyhoot - to make a long story short - the science lesson in all of this was that as i was seeking ways to change the things i could about me, through my changes, it subtly nudged those closest to me to see the things within themselves that they needed to change. ouchy! (whaddya mean i need to change something? i am not the addict!) change/counterchange...(whaddaya mean you are going to another meeting tonight - leave us home here by ourselves? it didn't use to be like this) change/counterchange...(whaddaya mean taking a nap in the middle of the day? this is how you acted when you were using! (i'm not entitled to a rest when my body has been in overdrive?))... change/counterchange...(whaddaya mean you are not going to answer me? you are going to walk away until you give yourself time to respond in a loving way instead of anger? maybe i'll just goad you enough until you feel as uncomfortable about all of this as i do!)
change/counterchange...the list goes ad infinitum and ad nauseum, froggy. i bet anyone here who has embraced recovery can site you any number of behaviors that we face with our loved ones when embracing change. i went through much of the same you have written about your child with my own children, many 24 hours later after relapsing and then embracing recovery again. and wouldn't you know it? sometimes what goes around, comes around. my son is about to pick up his 2 year AA chip and has 4 sponsees. my daughter just picked up a 90 day NA keytag.
i will leave you with something that was said to me by a very wise woman (sponsor) about my resentments and how to handle them. she said:
"sammy, the best way to avenge your resentments is to stay in the light of recovery!"
wow - now how simple is that? there was a time when i found that i had to seek outside help froggy. outside of the rooms of the 12 steps. the insight and tools i received while in counseling were immeasurable help to what i was learning in the rooms. and all of this took some work. like my husband's thoughts, there was a time when i thought - hey - you have put those pills down, everything must get better. it didn't get better until i started to go to the lengths that i needed to and change what i could that i began to feel my spirit awake. and when i allowed people who were close to me, address their own stuff and change what they could, i was blessed with realizing the spirit awakening in my loved ones. there's nothing fear. bill w. said in a 1962 grapevine article that frequently he would add to the serenity prayer: "god, grant me the serenity to love their best and never fear their worst." i like that and use it frequently.
these spiritual awakenings didn't come to me like a lightening bolt out of the sky. it took time and whole lot of work. and this happened with my family members too - it took time and wasn't always pretty. heck - my spirit is still awakening. it's a daily process. give yourself the gifts of patience and time, froggy, and the available resources that are out there to help you in your journey of your spirit. try some new steps - 12 i might add. *wink, wink* you might find your dance a little easier - a little softer - a little more comfortable as you glide across the floor.
and remember froggy - change/counterchange - it's a law of science. it's going to happen whether you want it to or not.
and on that same note, also remember froggy - if nothing changes, nothing changes.
what a great topic this is! thank you. if anyone hasn't told you they love you today, i do.
and hey - thanks for letting me share.
namaste'
sammy
good morning, froggy - my goodness - a novella - didn't mean to get so wordy here but here goes.
it was kind of difficult for me to successfully "shuffle off to buffalo" when i didn't have my tap shoes on!
with that being said, there are a lot of "dances" in life that i find myself involved in. my old solution was to use - to blot myself out because i always found myself in the precarious situation of standing there with two left feet - not sure of myself or what foot to put in the right direction. it wasn't comfortable and good grief, i didn't want to be uncomfortable. more oft than not, the only time i ever opened my mouth was to change feet! didn't leave too good of a taste in my mouth or anyone else's palate for that much!
one of the best lessons i learned early on in recovery came from a book titled "the dance of anger". it is authored by dr. harriet lerner. something dr. lerner points out in this book is a premise that we all learned in the 5th or 6th grade science class. it has to do with one of the laws of science that sir isaac newton discovered - i believe it's the second law of motion. to paraphrase, it goes something like this:
with every change, it is met with a counterchange.
wow! knock my socks off! did this law just apply to things like matter, force, electrons, protons, and fig newtons (that happens to be one of my favorite lines from an old tv sit-com reel) OR could this apply to things as relationships - relationships between family member, friends, and society in general that i found myself in?
one of the first times i got clean, i remember my husband looking at me with a wary eye too. first off - the old goof had it in his mind that all i had to do was stop using and everything would be rosy. you just stop the drug and we will return to a life of oblivion and bliss. NOT.
here i was going to an outpatient group - going to meetings and all of sudden, like a bolt out of the blue, he was saying things like "whaddaya think i am, a babysitter?" or "are you going out with your new party friends again tonight?" or "what's so funny? i haven't seen you laugh so hard since you were high
- are you using again?"
huh?
did i miss something here?
a party? a babysitter for your own children? i'm not suppose to laugh while in a clean state of mind?
golly gee, wally - i was only trying to recover from the deadly disease of addiction but i didn't understand how to handle the situation, froggy. (let me wallow in this self-pity and victim hood for a few 24 hours) i found myself standing there with two left feet - tripping and stumbling all over the place and pretty soon, my frustrations built into resentments. while carrying around those resentments i resorted to behavior that was prior to recovery attempts - comfortable. i quit going to meetings, quit going to IOP, quit my support system for the recovery from this disease. it was just a short matter of time that i picked up. how dare you or anyone put me in a state where i was uncomfortable! wheweeee - my resentments took me right out of here.
yet what i didn't understand back then - and it took me quite a few 24 hours to learn this, is that this disease of addiction...this disease does not discriminate. not only does the affect the one who is the user - it affects our family members, our friends, and all those who we come into contact with. our family members, bless their hearts, probably more so than others. if you check out the big book you will see how profoundly this disease affects our family - there's a entire freakin' chapter devoted to this.
anyhoot - to make a long story short - the science lesson in all of this was that as i was seeking ways to change the things i could about me, through my changes, it subtly nudged those closest to me to see the things within themselves that they needed to change. ouchy! (whaddya mean i need to change something? i am not the addict!) change/counterchange...(whaddaya mean you are going to another meeting tonight - leave us home here by ourselves? it didn't use to be like this) change/counterchange...(whaddaya mean taking a nap in the middle of the day? this is how you acted when you were using! (i'm not entitled to a rest when my body has been in overdrive?))... change/counterchange...(whaddaya mean you are not going to answer me? you are going to walk away until you give yourself time to respond in a loving way instead of anger? maybe i'll just goad you enough until you feel as uncomfortable about all of this as i do!)
change/counterchange...the list goes ad infinitum and ad nauseum, froggy. i bet anyone here who has embraced recovery can site you any number of behaviors that we face with our loved ones when embracing change. i went through much of the same you have written about your child with my own children, many 24 hours later after relapsing and then embracing recovery again. and wouldn't you know it? sometimes what goes around, comes around. my son is about to pick up his 2 year AA chip and has 4 sponsees. my daughter just picked up a 90 day NA keytag.
i will leave you with something that was said to me by a very wise woman (sponsor) about my resentments and how to handle them. she said:
"sammy, the best way to avenge your resentments is to stay in the light of recovery!"
wow - now how simple is that? there was a time when i found that i had to seek outside help froggy. outside of the rooms of the 12 steps. the insight and tools i received while in counseling were immeasurable help to what i was learning in the rooms. and all of this took some work. like my husband's thoughts, there was a time when i thought - hey - you have put those pills down, everything must get better. it didn't get better until i started to go to the lengths that i needed to and change what i could that i began to feel my spirit awake. and when i allowed people who were close to me, address their own stuff and change what they could, i was blessed with realizing the spirit awakening in my loved ones. there's nothing fear. bill w. said in a 1962 grapevine article that frequently he would add to the serenity prayer: "god, grant me the serenity to love their best and never fear their worst." i like that and use it frequently.
these spiritual awakenings didn't come to me like a lightening bolt out of the sky. it took time and whole lot of work. and this happened with my family members too - it took time and wasn't always pretty. heck - my spirit is still awakening. it's a daily process. give yourself the gifts of patience and time, froggy, and the available resources that are out there to help you in your journey of your spirit. try some new steps - 12 i might add. *wink, wink* you might find your dance a little easier - a little softer - a little more comfortable as you glide across the floor.
and remember froggy - change/counterchange - it's a law of science. it's going to happen whether you want it to or not.
and on that same note, also remember froggy - if nothing changes, nothing changes.
what a great topic this is! thank you. if anyone hasn't told you they love you today, i do.
and hey - thanks for letting me share.
namaste'
sammy
I loved that share, Sammy....
one of the best lessons i learned early on in recovery came from a book titled "the dance of anger". it is authored by dr. harriet lerner.
I'm currently reading her book "The Dance of Intimacy", very eye opening and explains so much for me as to where I am right now....
Froggy,
I, too, love you and want to see you dance...xoxo
one of the best lessons i learned early on in recovery came from a book titled "the dance of anger". it is authored by dr. harriet lerner.
I'm currently reading her book "The Dance of Intimacy", very eye opening and explains so much for me as to where I am right now....
Froggy,
I, too, love you and want to see you dance...xoxo
Sweet Stacey -
I read that book a few 24 hours ago and it is awesome. Her writings, I recommend to all my sponsees.
So get your butt down here to socal and we will cut a rug. You have an open invitation anytime you want to come. As I tell my friend, Buggy, in Sacramento, Jetblue baby, Jetblue (which she has taken me up on!)
Hugs to you ~
Sammy
I read that book a few 24 hours ago and it is awesome. Her writings, I recommend to all my sponsees.
So get your butt down here to socal and we will cut a rug. You have an open invitation anytime you want to come. As I tell my friend, Buggy, in Sacramento, Jetblue baby, Jetblue (which she has taken me up on!)
Hugs to you ~
Sammy
Chin up Froggy!!
I don't have my own teenager, but I know how about these stages from watching my nephews and nieces battle their folks. I am experiencing similar things from some people in my life. I've gone through counseling with my wife and this is "one of our things" to deal with. Take care of YOU and life will be better..........there will still be problems and pain, but you will be you and will FEEL life.
I don't have my own teenager, but I know how about these stages from watching my nephews and nieces battle their folks. I am experiencing similar things from some people in my life. I've gone through counseling with my wife and this is "one of our things" to deal with. Take care of YOU and life will be better..........there will still be problems and pain, but you will be you and will FEEL life.
You guys hit the nail right on the head!!! I gave in to everything just to avoid confrontation and to make up for the guilt I felt, plus lets face it, just easier. Now that I say no well...
What do you mean that ppl aren't celebrating in the streets at my being clean, Tim????? Haven't you heard of the bill being passed to declare Jan 13 "Froggy smartened the hell up and is getting clean day..Ribbett,Ribbett" ??? It'll hit the papers soon. I'm super stoked!!! Ok, not so much but sure sounds great eh? :-)
August, Hamilton is about 3 hours from me but man oh man I soooo appreciated you doing that for me. I'm actually in Kingston..home of penns, hockey and of course me ;-)
Thanks Sammy :-) Stacey :-)
Hey Jer, 90!!!!!!!
love to all,
H
What do you mean that ppl aren't celebrating in the streets at my being clean, Tim????? Haven't you heard of the bill being passed to declare Jan 13 "Froggy smartened the hell up and is getting clean day..Ribbett,Ribbett" ??? It'll hit the papers soon. I'm super stoked!!! Ok, not so much but sure sounds great eh? :-)
August, Hamilton is about 3 hours from me but man oh man I soooo appreciated you doing that for me. I'm actually in Kingston..home of penns, hockey and of course me ;-)
Thanks Sammy :-) Stacey :-)
Hey Jer, 90!!!!!!!
love to all,
H
You're doing fabulous Hillary.Follow up on what August sent.It's time and you know it.That's one thing I've noticed about you.You are keeping an open mind to all suggestions and following through.That's the recipe for success.
I still find change hard.One of my biggest issues lately has been age.Since I turned 55,my body is not doing what it used to and that is very aggravating.My mind say "yes" but my knees say "no way".
Have a great day.
I still find change hard.One of my biggest issues lately has been age.Since I turned 55,my body is not doing what it used to and that is very aggravating.My mind say "yes" but my knees say "no way".
Have a great day.
Jetblue baby, Jetblue
LMAO, Sammy....I checked the website, it's very doable....I'm thinking around the end of July and as it gets closer, I'll set something up with you more concrete....
Cutting a rug with you would be just another promise coming true in my recovery. You rock, GF~!
Tata for now...smooch,
Stacey
LMAO, Sammy....I checked the website, it's very doable....I'm thinking around the end of July and as it gets closer, I'll set something up with you more concrete....
Cutting a rug with you would be just another promise coming true in my recovery. You rock, GF~!
Tata for now...smooch,
Stacey
I don't remember how my boys acted when I was early in recovery? I think the oldest, it made him uncomfortable when I would talk about it (I was like a damn broke free, I talked constantly about recovery in the first few months), I think it took the fun out of his using. The other two were younger and I really don't remember their reactions. I know now that because of my constant chatter about the "program", all three know that they are addicts and needed to do something about it.
My point here Hilary is, one day, God forbid, your daughter might need your words and actions in her head.
My point here Hilary is, one day, God forbid, your daughter might need your words and actions in her head.
