As If Things Couldnt Get Any Worse.

Well its one things after another with me. It doesnt rain for me, it pours. Kevin has gone, left me with his child and all the pieces to pick up and hurt like hell...and guess what.....AM PREGNANT.

Oh my god I cant say anymore. My head is so far up my bum I just dont know what to do.

Just when I thought I was dealing with things well, then life throws one more thing at me.

Lynds
Dear Lynds,

I know it's one more responsibility when you feel totally overwhelmed but in time I'm sure you'll see what a wonderful blessing he/she will be for you too. One last gift from Kevin to you for you to cherish. Bless your heart!

Love,
Susan
Lynds, I think this will be a blessing. I know things are tough but hang in there sweetheart. As always, my prayers remain with you and Kiala.
Aw babe...I don't know what to say. Your life is certainly throwing things at ya! But like the others said, he may not be physically in this world to help you cope with this...but he is in your heart. And this could be a blessing for Kiala as well as you. You are in my thoughts today Lynds...
Maddy x x x
Why dont I see this as a blessing?? Its not what I wanted. I was planning on starting to get my life back together and although a baby is amazing, its a major disruption also. Maybe this could help me through my pain but at the same time this could be the hardest thing I will ever do. I mean havin to explain to one child where her daddy is, is gona be hard enough.

I just cant make my mind up. So many pro's and con's to keeping and not keeping the baby. I dont know if I would be able to go through a terminitaion. Could I live with it, either way????

Me and Kevin werent getting on and it was hard enough with Kiala...but 2 have a newborn and a nearly 3 year old, living on my own with no dad whatsoever??? I just dont know???
Unwanted pregnancies make for unwanted child. This is why Im pro-coice. Situations like yours do come up. -(just a view from some dumb guy you dont even know)
Pray for guidance ,
muchrespect,
jack
.
Thanks Jack, I paryed for guidance last night but am still no further forward. Situations like this are very rare. My head is saying get rid, my heart is saying keep it. This is a life at the end of the day, but its also my life. Some peeps cant have kids and probs hate me right now.

I feel selfish :-( Whatever I do will change my life completely.
i'll be stright at this point if i got pregnant i can't see me keeping the pregnancy. HOWEVER rob has a vasctomey so i'm not gonna get pregnant. My 3 kids I love em so much but, it's so very HARD. I could not go back to newborns again. JUST one baby has stressed my relationship to new hights. If i'm ever on my own again i can't do it lugging 4 kids about. I tried to raise 2 kids alone i lost them and got a heroin addiction along the way. I think often people don't see how demanding being a single mom/parent is. It's scary to not know where food is coming from for just you BUT, add a few kids it's helll to worry about.When all the load falls on your shoulders alone it's darn HEAVY. Babysitters are not cheap and leaving a baby with a sitter breaks my heart but, i have to do it everyday. I know what it's like to have two kids no daddy around i would not call it a blessing. Yes there are two sides there is no right or wrong. Either way i wish you luck and peace.
Lynds, I don't envy your position. When I said it was a blessing, I wasn't thinking about the practicality of the situation. I am prochoice also. I terminated my first pregnancy when I was 19. I don't regret it, but I will always wonder what could have been.

This is a difficult situation to be in, I'm sorry you are there right now. Think hard, pray and the answer will come to you.

No matter what Lynds, you will have our support.
Lynds,
Take a deep breathmaybe let it go a day or two.
I see it in both terms, a blessing, a cursemaybe that is because internally it is what it is for us, no one else.
You have to make the decisions based on what you can or can not live with now, no regrets as you will be making it with open eyesDont let this run your life, dont allow anyone to guilt you no matter what you chose, and try not doing it to yourself as well.
Selfish, no I dont see that, realistic though is shining
I wish you the best
Love,
Tina

And Jack, I think you are smarter then you think
Life is certainly throwing it all at you. I have a lot of respect for how you are coping with all this. My first gut reaction after reading your post was for you to abort...another baby... a blessing in one way but... you already have a beautiful memory of Kevin in your little girl. Realistically... is it really the best idea for you to have another baby now? But its complelty up to you, either way could turn out well.

It's time to really think about you and what is best for you. Take your time and do whatever feels right for you.
hi lyndz i know i spoke to you earlier about this situation your in , its how i felt a few month back when i found out i was pg its such a hard hard choice but the only thing is , is that it is your choice only if your heart is telling you to keep it then i think you know the answer already i'd follow my heart rather than my head and besides when the baby comes i know you will love it dearly but if you decide not to keep it ,it could haunt you for the rest of your life !!!
thinking of ya hun xxxxxxxxxx
emma
oh sweetie--yes you have a decision to make and yes--its all yours--your the only one who can make the right one for you--try to look at it logistically and don't forget adoptionive done both and ill tell you i am ok with both but i have a proud wonderfull feeling about the adoption--but we are all different and in different places, one little bit of advice--be careful who you let know untill you make up your mind--people can be so mean and NO_ONE can say they "understand" how you are feeling.we are behind you 100% and just know that you are being emmensley strong
Hello all...thanks for your replies. I guess no matter what anyone says I have to make the choice myself. Personally I think I have to go with my head more than my heart because for so long I have went with my heart and got hurt. I have to be realistic and think whether or not I could cope with another baby? Could I provide? Could I manage? As someone said Kevin already carries on living in my daughter and I think maybe I feel like keeping the babyfor that reason when infact I dont need to.

I would love a baby...I love kids full stop but I just dont think the situation is right at the moment. My only problem is I hope I aint further on than what I think I am....the longer I am pregnant the harder the decision is going to be.

I hate the fact that this is my decision and no one elses. I wish Kevin was here to give me a hint on what to do, but deep down if he did pop in he would tell me that realistically the situation just aint right, I am young, and I have my full life ahead of me to have children.

I think I have partly made my decision but I am going to think long and hard about the pros and cons...after all this is a lifetime decision and either way its gonna be hard.

Adoption unfortunately is a no no for me. I couldnt personally go through that. If I had the child I would keep the child. I couldnt go through all that and hand over my child to someone else. Its the whole process you go through, which makes you love them more, even though I hate being pregnant...lol. I dont diss anyone who has adopted either because everyone has thier reasons and for some people it is the right thing to do, but for me am afraid not.

Thanks again for all your advise.
God I feel your pain so much, what a helluva decision to have to make. But you will make the right choice for you (and none of us can know what that is)...and whatever is right for you will also automatically be right for Kiala. You deserve what you want out of life...you always have...you've suffered enough...I don't think it's about head versus heart...you know in your heart what you will do...you just gotta let your head listen to it...good luck and whatever you decide...there's a world of happiness out there waiting for you.
Much love,
Maddy x x x
With all the advice and words of everyone, as hard as it is, its only you who can make this awesome decision and whatever you decide has to be right for you. I do believe that whatever decision you make Kevin will be by your side and give you his blessing. My heart goes out to you girl and I can't imagine what you must be going through especially with everything else you're having to cope with right now.
I wish I could find the right words to make this all go away or to help but unfortnately no one can make this painstaking decision except you - though everyone will respect you for the decision YOU make.
Think things through which will obvious depend how far gone you are, maybe you have a little more time to reflect on your situation.
You do have a beautiful daughter, which is a blessing so its YOUR call and YOUR life........ so do whats right for YOU and Kiala!

I'm holding you in my thoughts.

Love Christina x
oh lyndsey
you poor thing you have been through so much allready
im sure you'll make the right decision for you and your family
even though its not a easy one you'll get through it
you're a very strong person and you have done wonderfully so far and have so many people supporting you and loveing you
Thanks for the kind words Tina but sometimes smartness means you know how to confuse others so that they will think that you are right-

( not in a serious issue like this though)

gotta get some sleep
besttoall
jack
Ever heard of a stroke of bad luck?? Please dont laugh but yesterdayI had to go pick up some money. I was walking with my hat on minding my own business, followed a car out of a carpark when a red and white barrier came down and smacked me straight on the head, and then to top it all off, I thought have a night out and let me hair down after all thats happened and I only got my purse stollen.

Could anything else happen? I thought after all the bad something good would happen but NO not me...I go from bad to worse....lol.

Surely there must be some luck for me in the horizon???
Oh girl
I'm so sorry, when things go bad they sure do. It sums up the quote i have at the end of each posting.
Just hang on in there and lets just hope the new year brings you happier times. Try and think on a brighter note, of the beautiful little girl you have in your life, who loves her mummy. I'm sure Kiala alone brings you loads of joy, which you so deserve.
I hope christmas isn't too painful for you, without Kevin though you seem to have a good family close by and children absolutely make Christmas.

I'll be thinking of you over Christmas as i'll be without my little girl too, although she isn't dead (yet) she seems lost to heroin Sorry to diverse somewhat, but next Saturday Sarah will be 18 and I wont be with her as she's still on the gear. I kicked her out in Sept, as posted. I've tried it all now but resorted to "tough love". So I suppose we're all at different stages of our journey. My heart goes out to you but I admire your strength and reserve for someone so young. You are a wonderful mum and person and I truly hope your life turns around to bring you the happiness and love you so deserve.
Luv and a big hug to you (hope your head is ok - I'm not laughing honest)
Christina