Sharing my studies with you.
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You have the right to decide for yourself how you will behave.
*This right applies until your behaviour prevents others from having THEIR legitimate rights. That leaves you a lot of room!
*Assertiveness means making your own decisions about what you will and will not do and accepting the consequences and the responsibility for your behaviour.
*Accepting that responsibility means admitting that your actions were your choice.
*Your behaviour is YOUR decision.
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You have the right to decide for yourself what you will and will not do.
This right reminds you to become aware of making the decision.
Becoming more assertive does not mean that you will refuse to go along with anyone else's wishes. It simply means that when you do so it will be a deliberate choice on your part.
You have the right to judge your own actions, thoughts and emotions.
Other people have the right to pass judgement on you. (They'll do it anyway, so we might as well give them the right ! ) But no law says that you have to agree or go along with their judgement.You are entitled to be your own judge.
You have the right not to offer justifications for your actions.
When other people want to gain control over you, they will often try to get you to justify your behaviour. This puts you in a helpless position and elevates them to the position of control. You appoint them as your judge and plead your case before them. But YOU are the judge of your actions, not them.
You have the right to turn down requests without feeling guilty.
Your time and your life are your own. You are entitled to decide which requests you will go along with and which you won't.
You have the right to change your mind.
When do you REALLY have control: before you make a decision or after? Answer: both
You have the right to make mistakes.
Many people feel that if they make mistakes, then others have the right to seize control. But when it's your life, they don't have the right to take control no matter how many mistakes you make.
You have the right to be illogical in making decisions.
You do not have to live up to other people's standards of logic in making decisions about your own life.
You have the right to be alone, even if others would prefer your company.
Everyone needs some solitary or unstructured time. You can decide for yourself whether you want to be with other people....even if they really want your company. (Note that when you are depressed you might feel like withdrawing, but getting together with other people at least some of the time is a good idea anyway.)
You have the right to say, "I don't know."
You don't know everything, you never will and no one can force you to try.
You have the right to say, "I don't understand."
If you don't understand, then you may need to get more information. In most circumstances it is fine to ask...and it usually leads to a better outcome than if you pretend to understand when you don't.
You have the right not to care.
Everyone has their pet projects and issues about which they become extremely concerned. But you will never feel equal concern for every social issue and you are not obliged to pretend that you do.
You have the right to your own opinions and convictions, even though others don't share them.
In order to hold a certain attitude or belief you do NOT have to convince the people around you. But you do have the right to have your own ideas.
You have the right to protest unfair treatment or criticism
It is almost always difficult to stand up for yourself when you are being treated poorly. But things seldom get better if you give your silent approval by going along with them.
You have the right to ask for help or emotional support
In difficult times most of us need help of some kind. Consider how you might feel if you received a specific, time-limited request for help from a friend. You might welcome it as a way to get to know the person better and develop a deeper friendship.
You have the right to ignore the advice of others.
When you ask someone's advice about something does this mean that they get to make your decision for you? No. Typically you are asking for information that you can use in making your decision.
You have the right not to take responsibility for someone else's problem.
Generally speaking, you are under no obligation to take over other people's problems for them, not do you have to come up with a workable solution.
Wonderwoman,
I liked that it was very true. I sometmes catch my self just going with the flow, and sometimes dealing with other family members problem instead of my own.
I liked that it was very true. I sometmes catch my self just going with the flow, and sometimes dealing with other family members problem instead of my own.
Sometimes just taking a deep breath before dealing with people is enough. :-)This, however should be taught in junior high schools where agression is the norm because of simple hormones. I'm glad you appreciated it. Have a good one. :-)
you have the right to say "I don't understand"
many times in my life I have found that uttering this phrase to someone else caued them to try to explain their position more fully to me, and after some quizzing they came to the realization that in fact they were the ones who didn't understand. Which, of course, I knew all along. (Is my ego showing?)
But yes, almost always, saying that you do understand when you don't is a bad thing. At the very least it closes off your chance to gain more insight into how another person thinks.
You have the right not to take responsibility for someone else's problem.
Frankly I consider this more a duty than a right, solving other peoples problems for them simply robs them of a chance to grow and improve themselves.
You have the right to ignore what I just said. %at your own peril, of course%
hc-lighten up, I bet you are a lot more fun to be around when you're tokin, maybe that's why your straight self drives your wife nuts.
many times in my life I have found that uttering this phrase to someone else caued them to try to explain their position more fully to me, and after some quizzing they came to the realization that in fact they were the ones who didn't understand. Which, of course, I knew all along. (Is my ego showing?)
But yes, almost always, saying that you do understand when you don't is a bad thing. At the very least it closes off your chance to gain more insight into how another person thinks.
You have the right not to take responsibility for someone else's problem.
Frankly I consider this more a duty than a right, solving other peoples problems for them simply robs them of a chance to grow and improve themselves.
You have the right to ignore what I just said. %at your own peril, of course%
hc-lighten up, I bet you are a lot more fun to be around when you're tokin, maybe that's why your straight self drives your wife nuts.
