Mollyjean, Rae, and everyone eles that wrote to me on the other post....
I tried to get to the library at 1:00 the other day, but i couldnt make it. Not only was i feeling very sick, but i dont have a car and if my parents say no to me useing theres...well, im stuck at there house and i cant get to all of you for the help that i need very badly sometimes!!!!
I have these horrible feelings right now. I feel like the only person that i have to lean on is me andim not doing a good job keeping myself afloat. Maybe im realy a horrible friend and i just didnt realize it before.
I have nobody to talk to about my feelings or probloms and i end up on the bathroom floor crying to my 10 year old and haveing him tell me that things will be o.k.!!! Its almost like he is the adult and im the child. Wrong i know, but sometimes it just happens.
Anycase....i have to go for now, but im going to come back to the library tonight with my kids and then i will be able to get on here for a longer period of time to write. If anyone is out there that knows me or just read about me and what im going through...i realy could use some one today to talk with. I just need a friend right now and i have nobody here to be that for me.
Mollyjean, and Rae....I know that you all have busy lives and cant just drop everything to be there for me at the times that i need you both....but thanks for trying anyway..... Maybe i can get caught up with the two of you all later tonight.
Your Friend, Christina (a.k.a)Niblet (a.k.a) Haveinithard~~~~~***~~~~**
Niblet you are going through hell right now but its something that you must do.I swear girl if you were here????Well I wont put that dont wannta scare you.Look you got yourself into a bad spot & YOU WILL DAMN IT get yourself out.I know we will help as much as we can but sweety no bulls*** this time YOU HAVE GOT TO PUT THE WORK IN OK??Love ya brat write soon...mj
M.J.....Love the way you are with words!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Miss you too!!!!!!!!!! Love ya lots also.......(i know thats what you ment to say, i can read your mind)hahaha
I know the work that has to be put in, but its realy hard and im not sure that i can handle it right now, hell, maybe ever....i know im talking stupid.....but liveing back with mom and dad in a matter of hours notice(i'll write to u about it later) and the kids....the job...(again, i'll write about that one later too) I have nobody anymore to talk with .....all my friends that i used to have are gone and i cant get ahold of them. I called a girl i was best friends with for just about all my life and i tried to explain things to her and it was almost like she wasnt listening.......Everyone i talk to tells me to get rid of this baby...but i cant get myself to do it. Hell...i didnt do it at 15 and i made it, why cant i do it now???
I tried to talk to brian last night about the baby and all he said was that he was very busy and didnt have time to talk about anything concerning that topic.
I have to go now....but i will be back later. Im gonna try to set up an e-mail address tonight, and hopefully with that i can write about more, if your up to wanting to still be my friend, alot of people have turned down the position, so to speak!!!
I love ya girl, thanks for knowing it was me the other day. I'll give you my cell phone # in a e-mail once i figure it all out. Its free long distance after 9pm. Maybe we could talk alittle. Hell, i just might get on the plane tomorow to see ya...make room for Niblet(hahahhahahha)
your Friend, Christina(aka) Niblet
Miss you too!!!!!!!!!! Love ya lots also.......(i know thats what you ment to say, i can read your mind)hahaha
I know the work that has to be put in, but its realy hard and im not sure that i can handle it right now, hell, maybe ever....i know im talking stupid.....but liveing back with mom and dad in a matter of hours notice(i'll write to u about it later) and the kids....the job...(again, i'll write about that one later too) I have nobody anymore to talk with .....all my friends that i used to have are gone and i cant get ahold of them. I called a girl i was best friends with for just about all my life and i tried to explain things to her and it was almost like she wasnt listening.......Everyone i talk to tells me to get rid of this baby...but i cant get myself to do it. Hell...i didnt do it at 15 and i made it, why cant i do it now???
I tried to talk to brian last night about the baby and all he said was that he was very busy and didnt have time to talk about anything concerning that topic.
I have to go now....but i will be back later. Im gonna try to set up an e-mail address tonight, and hopefully with that i can write about more, if your up to wanting to still be my friend, alot of people have turned down the position, so to speak!!!
I love ya girl, thanks for knowing it was me the other day. I'll give you my cell phone # in a e-mail once i figure it all out. Its free long distance after 9pm. Maybe we could talk alittle. Hell, i just might get on the plane tomorow to see ya...make room for Niblet(hahahhahahha)
your Friend, Christina(aka) Niblet
BUMP 4 Mollyjean!!!!!
Have a good day...c ya tonight (hopefully)
Niblet
Have a good day...c ya tonight (hopefully)
Niblet
Niblet I promise I am still a friend.You always were hard on yourself.Now is the time youll really need to be.But I need to let you know your NEVER going to fix it all at once.It will take steps.Right now your BF is NOT important.You have GOT to realize that first.I mean what support can he give?He cant so leave that problem for later.YOUR BIGGEST problem as far as I can tell is what your taking.I need to know a couple things.like how much your taking,how often,street or Dr.I know you & your folks are shaky right now but you know how much they love you.Your dad will always see you as perfect no matter what you do,So I want you to breath because this isnt going to get better over nite but it can get better.Rae has been through the Meth detox & she will help however she can.
I want you to start saying to yourself
I WILL BE ALRIGHT
I WILL DO THIS,because YOU HAVE TO.
Your boys love you you know that,& that kind of love is alot better than ANY MAN .....GOT IT????LOVE YA ....mj
I want you to start saying to yourself
I WILL BE ALRIGHT
I WILL DO THIS,because YOU HAVE TO.
Your boys love you you know that,& that kind of love is alot better than ANY MAN .....GOT IT????LOVE YA ....mj
Mollyjean, im not sure if your still on here or not, you have a life outside of this place im sure.....but if your out there someplace, i want you to know that i saw what you wrote and i thank you for all the great words of advice.
Your right about Brian, he is no help. Hell, he dosnt even know about the pill issue, all he knows is about the baby and he dosnt want to help with that eaither. You said to leave that problom for later.....well, thats the easy part, there wont even be a later for that one...its done and over for as far as i can see!!!
However, there are the big problems to think about now.
1st...cant tell the parents about the pills, they would kick me out soooooo fast that my head would spin. I did the whole vicadin thing with them and they swore they would never go through it again with me nomatter what!!!
2nd, the baby part....i have stopped takeing the meth and went crazy in a matter of days. I know i cant take it because of the baby, but i cant cold turkey it eaither(can i ???) So for right now i have been breaking 10mlg pills in half and takeing one half in the am and half in the pm. At one point i was takeing about 8-10 10mlg pills a day, then i found out about the baby and i stopped right away.
Nomatter what i do im screwwed arnt i????
God i need help, does anyone know about this stuff enough to tell me that i can do something to help the baby right now???? Im not stupid, i know its all bad, i shouldnt be eating anything at all, but i cant handle cold turkey eaither..i tried.
IN NEED OF ADVISE, GOOD OR BAD, BUT IN NEED.
Christina, (a.k.a) Niblet(a.k.a) Haveinithard.
Your right about Brian, he is no help. Hell, he dosnt even know about the pill issue, all he knows is about the baby and he dosnt want to help with that eaither. You said to leave that problom for later.....well, thats the easy part, there wont even be a later for that one...its done and over for as far as i can see!!!
However, there are the big problems to think about now.
1st...cant tell the parents about the pills, they would kick me out soooooo fast that my head would spin. I did the whole vicadin thing with them and they swore they would never go through it again with me nomatter what!!!
2nd, the baby part....i have stopped takeing the meth and went crazy in a matter of days. I know i cant take it because of the baby, but i cant cold turkey it eaither(can i ???) So for right now i have been breaking 10mlg pills in half and takeing one half in the am and half in the pm. At one point i was takeing about 8-10 10mlg pills a day, then i found out about the baby and i stopped right away.
Nomatter what i do im screwwed arnt i????
God i need help, does anyone know about this stuff enough to tell me that i can do something to help the baby right now???? Im not stupid, i know its all bad, i shouldnt be eating anything at all, but i cant handle cold turkey eaither..i tried.
IN NEED OF ADVISE, GOOD OR BAD, BUT IN NEED.
Christina, (a.k.a) Niblet(a.k.a) Haveinithard.
