This is from The Daily Reflections for today. The whole last week of entries has been especially meaningful to me and, while I am a work in progress, there are moments of clarity:
QUOTE
While I was drinking I reacted with anger, self-pity and defiance against anyone who wanted to change me. All I wanted then was to be accepted by another human simply as I was and, curiously, that is what I found in A.A. I became the custodian of this concept of attraction, which is the principle of our Fellowships public relations. It is by attraction that I can best reach the alcoholic who still suffers. I thank MY God for having given me the attraction of a well-planned and established program of Steps and Traditions. Through humility and the support of my fellow sober members, I have been able to practice the A.A. way of life through attraction, not promotion.
Frankly, I want to shout from the rooftops how grateful I am for this program, but I've still got humility issues... LOL! It's difficult NOT to get excited about my newfound serenity and peace within, but I need only watch a new person come to the group who's been "invited" by the courts to realize that I'm one of the lucky ones. I voluntarily turned my will over. Some are still out there doing the research necessary for me to stay sober.
Yes, it indeed is attraction rather than promotion. The changes you made/make, hopefully will catch the attention of a newcomer and they will want what you have. Just suiting up, showing up and practicing the 12 Steps in all your affairs (which is no small order) is the best PR for AA.
You know, I am of the opinion that AA should not be forced on people. If someone is nailed for DUI, they should not be forced into AA. Do the crime, do the time.
It is painful enough to watch newcomers who come in voluntarily who aren't quite sure they want to be there (whether through not sure they are alcoholics to what I identify with...those gripped with anxiety and fear). To watch those sullen ones forced to be there...its like concrete shoes for me, I sink. I guess as long as they don't disrupt the meeting...
I believe this is for those who want it, not necessarily those who need it.
Negative examples i.e. watching how NOT to do it just don't do as much for me as watching those old-timers who get through life (good and bad) sober, and with some humor and grace. Yes I can see what NOT to do, but I want to know what TO do. Helps me so much more. I guess I am "monkey see, monkey do"....
We discussed this very reading in today's meeting, and had an "Court Invitee," show up. We get them all the time and they come and go. I'll say this: If it weren't for the people that DO come back, I'd be at the rear of the building in a heart-beat, drinkin' and what-not because I'd be convinced it didn't work for ANY body. It must, though, or it wouldn't have lasted as long as it has--just AS it has. Does that make sense?
Just suiting up, showing up and practicing the 12 Steps in all your affairs (which is no small order) is the best PR for AA.
And it was the attraction that got me back in the doors after 8 years...I got sober in AA and what a miracle it was that I was relieved of the obsession to drink but I didn't stick around long enough to realize that the real problem was Stacey, not so much the alcohol so when Life happened, I went out on pills and entered a whole new hell....It was people on the Board sharing what worked for them, reading their words, their experiences, their ability to live life on Life's terms...people like Teresa, Dsam, Katbird, Elim and Lisa that showed this alkie/addict there was a solution so when I was willing enough, sick and tired of being sick and tired and trying to do it alone, Teresa helped me walk back into the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous...I thank God that he uses people to carry his message and that we are blessed to have people on these boards that carry the message of AA.
Today, I try to practice the 12steps in all my affairs and when asked how I quit drinking or popping pills, I share from my heart my ESH and it's up to the person how they want to receive the message. A lot of times, it's the planting of the seed and letting people know there is a solution and how it works but ultimately, it's up to them to want it and be willing enough....
I have a great friend, Chris C. who came in the doors to AA 6 years ago by court appointed papers and he shares that he was willing just enough to stick around and was blessed with the message. He is a great example of how to stay sober by giving back what was given to him...He attends a lot of meetings, always in service, involved in H & I, and always welcoming the newcomer and working with them...He share's that at his bottom, the law was his HP as it saved his life....I see a lot of court-appointed people in & out of the doors but sadly I see a lot of others too, in and out of the doors but it takes what it takes, and I pray for those today that are out there or back out there suffering...
Thanks for letting me share...I love the program of Alcoholics Anonymous and the miracles in the rooms...
Plant the seed and when needed they will remember where to come...and if you are still sitting in the meetings they will remember and see the endless hope that is in your eyes and want some of that in theirs
light and love Zac
Also forgot to mention our meeting last night ended up sharing about acceptance...pg 449 Big Book is good to read
And even neater is that people are WORKING on solutions. Trying to live in the solution rather than moan about the problem.
Pain Pill board has a person whose whole existence is the problem, go to see what I mean. Thank you people for choosing recovery. Helps lift my spirits. Seeing what you are doing continues to attract me to AA.
Hi skg, hi VWGirl (congrats on your freedom from cocaine anniversary). I am glad to be (clean +) sober today and glad that you all came so I could and I will pass....
Hi, Elim, and welcome. I'd seen you post a while ago--glad you're back. I need viewpoints like yours because, as you know, it takes all of you to keep ME sober. :) Please stick around? The greatest gift I have is the gift of Hope. I learned that yesterday.
Hi again, Elim, and glad to see you jump in. We're all in this together, despite efforts to the contrary. You sound as if you're a veteran AA member and that's very welcomed here. Most folks with significant sobriety scoff at forums--and I can see their point. As you mentioned, if you're in AA long enough you have to learn how to step over the bodies. It's moreso out here, but there ARE folks that have helped keep mesober, and that makes a believer. I've even made some friendships--an unexpected bonus!
Good to see you post, heck it's good to see everyone else too....I am also four years free from drinking too, thanks for the congrats...for me drinking and cocaine went hand in hand, I really couldn't do one without the other...I got intro'd to the Program by sister over 20 years ago...and didn't want it, but the seed was planted....and I knew that AA was always there if I needed it....never thought I'd want it like I do today...I never had a gift certificate from the Judge (court card), however I do know that it is still one of my "yets" should I ever choose to drink or use again.
This forum (Alcohol) is great...almost all of the people here work some type of program and it is so good it is here round the clock when I can't get to a meeting or maybe a meeting just isn't taking place at the time I need a dose of AA.
And even neater is that people are WORKING on solutions. Trying to live in the solution rather than moan about the problem.
I re-read your post, Elim, and I've got to agree. There aresome who are constitutionally incapable. I was in a meeting yesterday and there was a young woman in there--apparentlyl because her sponsor bitched at her enough to go--and she was angry and defiant. The two met after the meeting and I overheard (I had to stay so I could lock up) that this young woman continues to experiment and pop solutions (and pills, yep) for a softer, easier solution. She's going to lose her kids, her way of life, and her yets because she's obviously not ready. And that Merc she's driving? It'll be a pumpkin before long--or a cardboard box. Or a motel room. Sad.
I haven't had the opportunity to sponsor anyone as I'm not far enough along, but I can already see that the rules of engagement are difficult. I'll have to remind my sponsor what a lamb I am... :)
I'm grateful for this program and the simple solution. And those who've come before me
