Yeah, Sorry there Paul, Didn't mean to cut in our your thread. But really since I've been coming here you have spent so much time apologizing to everybody all the time. I'm just trying to figure it out.
Now you say you want milk instead of meat, what does that mean? What is milk?
Paul, if an apology is what you are offerring, then I kindly accept.
I am staying off this board right now not because I have been offended by someone or because someone owes me an apology, but because many posts on this board, to me, reflect a toxicity in their underlying thought process and that has posed a threat to my sobriety. After noting some warning signs in my own patterns of thinking, I concluded that my first obligation is to guard my sobriety and that is what I am doing. If I remain around this kind of thinking too long, I might revert to thinking that way myself and that could conceivably bring me closer to relaspe. For that reason, I have chosen to disentangle myself from this board for the time being.
Those in active addiction and trying to stop offer really good support to one another and there is little or nothing I can add. I urge you all to continue to offer encouragement to one another to resist the allure of the pills.
For those who are have chosen a path other than the Steps, I have no frame of reference by which to speak or develop a working relationship with you. Some who have chosen these alternate paths do appear to be staying clean. Some, however, appear to be repeating the same patterns of addictive thinking as prior to their cleaning the drugs out of their system. While each must take his own path and it is not for me to judge, I can see that I have nothing to offer this discrete group of folks.
AA principles suggest that we practice a program of attraction, not promotion, and I do not feel it is appropriate for me to evangelize the Steps endlessly to an audience which has indicated that it is indifferent at best and in some instances, downright hostile. There are lots of folks who want to give the steps a try and I prefer to focus on them right now.
I did not come here to make internet buddies or to build myself up in self agrandizement, nor to defend my every written word to others or to engage in endless debates about how much of my navel lint can fit on the head of a pin. I just wanted to stay sober while homebound with the cancer and on the pain pills, and then wished to make a contribution back in gratitude for being delivered from the pills.
This recent turn of events is probably nothing more than God's way of telling me its time to turn the page, to redirect my efforts to conventional service work now that I am feeling a little better healthwise. While much of the drama has unfolded on this board, I have learned of several friends and acquaintances who are beginning thier own cancer journey and perhaps I can be of some service to them.
Y'all seem to be doing fine without me, and I have enjoyed the relative peace and serenity of the last week.
II wish you all the best in your respective recoveries, but really prefer to be left out of the limelight for now.
Naturally, I expect that I will stop in to visit from time to time, but I do not wish to be participate on a daily basis right now.
Let the attacks begin.
August
I am staying off this board right now not because I have been offended by someone or because someone owes me an apology, but because many posts on this board, to me, reflect a toxicity in their underlying thought process and that has posed a threat to my sobriety. After noting some warning signs in my own patterns of thinking, I concluded that my first obligation is to guard my sobriety and that is what I am doing. If I remain around this kind of thinking too long, I might revert to thinking that way myself and that could conceivably bring me closer to relaspe. For that reason, I have chosen to disentangle myself from this board for the time being.
Those in active addiction and trying to stop offer really good support to one another and there is little or nothing I can add. I urge you all to continue to offer encouragement to one another to resist the allure of the pills.
For those who are have chosen a path other than the Steps, I have no frame of reference by which to speak or develop a working relationship with you. Some who have chosen these alternate paths do appear to be staying clean. Some, however, appear to be repeating the same patterns of addictive thinking as prior to their cleaning the drugs out of their system. While each must take his own path and it is not for me to judge, I can see that I have nothing to offer this discrete group of folks.
AA principles suggest that we practice a program of attraction, not promotion, and I do not feel it is appropriate for me to evangelize the Steps endlessly to an audience which has indicated that it is indifferent at best and in some instances, downright hostile. There are lots of folks who want to give the steps a try and I prefer to focus on them right now.
I did not come here to make internet buddies or to build myself up in self agrandizement, nor to defend my every written word to others or to engage in endless debates about how much of my navel lint can fit on the head of a pin. I just wanted to stay sober while homebound with the cancer and on the pain pills, and then wished to make a contribution back in gratitude for being delivered from the pills.
This recent turn of events is probably nothing more than God's way of telling me its time to turn the page, to redirect my efforts to conventional service work now that I am feeling a little better healthwise. While much of the drama has unfolded on this board, I have learned of several friends and acquaintances who are beginning thier own cancer journey and perhaps I can be of some service to them.
Y'all seem to be doing fine without me, and I have enjoyed the relative peace and serenity of the last week.
II wish you all the best in your respective recoveries, but really prefer to be left out of the limelight for now.
Naturally, I expect that I will stop in to visit from time to time, but I do not wish to be participate on a daily basis right now.
Let the attacks begin.
August
Hey August,
Just want to say I'm sorry for the attacks. Yep, I'm just an active user of these stupid pills that seem to make me into an idiot. I'm glad to hear you are doing ok. Take Care,
Liz
Just want to say I'm sorry for the attacks. Yep, I'm just an active user of these stupid pills that seem to make me into an idiot. I'm glad to hear you are doing ok. Take Care,
Liz
Hi August
i do understand you do not want to make internet buddies.
but "Let the attacks begin."
Was a bit uncalled for was it not
Peace
Paul
i do understand you do not want to make internet buddies.
but "Let the attacks begin."
Was a bit uncalled for was it not
Peace
Paul
See now this is what really confuses me. lol, I think I'm right about being angry with August, then I get convinced I shouldn't be like that toward him. Then I read what Paul said about what August stated, Let the attacks begin, and again I wonder is it me or is it him?
Liz
Liz
you see paul - my reason for posting about forgiveness or bolding it to draw your attention i will state below. for this has been my experience.
in forgiving myself, i am saying, i'm okay. i forgive me for 'not being perfect'. for not seeing what other people, places, or things (pills) were doing. for not standing up for me. for giving up on me and giving into the desires of my ego.
i forgive me for letting my fears run rampant in my life. for letting my fears become my truth.
i forgive me for not knowing -- what i was doing. what my fears/ego were doing.
i forgive me for hurting others in the process of being hurt by them. no matter how well my fears camoflauged my actions and my true self, my believing in them, they put my reality at risk.
i forgive myself for trusting these pills were the answer to, my thoughts, my love, my truth, my beauty.
i forgive me for trying to take a shortcut to happiness and ending up on the road to hell, ignoring all the signposts and driving past all the exits before it was too late.
in forgiving myself, i am acknowledging that i got hurt. it was 'bigger' than me. i am stating that it's okay to feel the pain, to move through the angst, the sorrow, grief and tears. it's okay to feel the anger. it's okay to say, "I fell down." yet in the next breath, i am reminded that i do not have to react in a negative fashion to my feelings/emotions.
in forgiving myself i am loving myself and letting go of that which drove me into the unholy arms of addiction. in forgiving myself i am filling my hungry heart with love, because when i forgive myself, i can look into the mirror and love the person i see looking back at me. i am not holding on to any vestiges of anger, pain or regret, because anger, pain and regret will limit my freedom and burden my journey. i move through them and let them go.
in forgiving myself, i am saying, i love myself enough to honor my pain and love myself in all my imperfections.
in forgiving myself, i am turning up for me and being all of me. and all of me does not need a shortcut to happiness. all of me does not need someone or something else to complete me or feed my hungry heart. all of me is enough because it has already been God given - the most Powerful force of love in the universe.
the lesson here is that with forgiveness i can now move forward - i wish to no longer be tied to my pain and connect with the love i am. as long as my heart is connected to my mind in love, i will be walking my path with integrity.
you are a kind soul, paul. a warrior of the heart. a wounded spirit struggling to be free. give yourself the gift of letting go and turning up for you. shine your light brilliantly and beamingly on you - on all of us. i sense a beautiful spirit in you. let it be.
with love -
sammy
in forgiving myself, i am saying, i'm okay. i forgive me for 'not being perfect'. for not seeing what other people, places, or things (pills) were doing. for not standing up for me. for giving up on me and giving into the desires of my ego.
i forgive me for letting my fears run rampant in my life. for letting my fears become my truth.
i forgive me for not knowing -- what i was doing. what my fears/ego were doing.
i forgive me for hurting others in the process of being hurt by them. no matter how well my fears camoflauged my actions and my true self, my believing in them, they put my reality at risk.
i forgive myself for trusting these pills were the answer to, my thoughts, my love, my truth, my beauty.
i forgive me for trying to take a shortcut to happiness and ending up on the road to hell, ignoring all the signposts and driving past all the exits before it was too late.
in forgiving myself, i am acknowledging that i got hurt. it was 'bigger' than me. i am stating that it's okay to feel the pain, to move through the angst, the sorrow, grief and tears. it's okay to feel the anger. it's okay to say, "I fell down." yet in the next breath, i am reminded that i do not have to react in a negative fashion to my feelings/emotions.
in forgiving myself i am loving myself and letting go of that which drove me into the unholy arms of addiction. in forgiving myself i am filling my hungry heart with love, because when i forgive myself, i can look into the mirror and love the person i see looking back at me. i am not holding on to any vestiges of anger, pain or regret, because anger, pain and regret will limit my freedom and burden my journey. i move through them and let them go.
in forgiving myself, i am saying, i love myself enough to honor my pain and love myself in all my imperfections.
in forgiving myself, i am turning up for me and being all of me. and all of me does not need a shortcut to happiness. all of me does not need someone or something else to complete me or feed my hungry heart. all of me is enough because it has already been God given - the most Powerful force of love in the universe.
the lesson here is that with forgiveness i can now move forward - i wish to no longer be tied to my pain and connect with the love i am. as long as my heart is connected to my mind in love, i will be walking my path with integrity.
you are a kind soul, paul. a warrior of the heart. a wounded spirit struggling to be free. give yourself the gift of letting go and turning up for you. shine your light brilliantly and beamingly on you - on all of us. i sense a beautiful spirit in you. let it be.
with love -
sammy
use the words you can use to aid your recovery and let the things you dont like go through to the keeper
August,
You deserve no attacks. You are a wonderful person and have helped many, including myself and I wish you all the best. You are loved and cared for by many.
Love,
Marie
You deserve no attacks. You are a wonderful person and have helped many, including myself and I wish you all the best. You are loved and cared for by many.
Love,
Marie
august, i dont type here alot mainly my typing skills stink, but i for one am a fan of your wisdom, it was you and a few others who were on this board when i first started my walk in recovery(3 days sort of 4 mnths.) be fore you go i want to thank you , i was in, still am somewhat in legal trouble, anyways your post to me once woke me up, told me basically to be truthful with future employers about my addiction which was a step i was hesitant to take but i swallowed my pride and went and talked to the d.o.n. at a local home care agency and was honest and low and behold she was receptive and HIRED me, i never thought i would obtain in a job in my field for a long time let alone this soon, it couldnt have came at a better time cuz we were fixing to lose everything we owned , my loss of income hurt us bad, so if you decide to be absent i guess i understand alot goes on this board that i dont keep track off but take care good luck and hope you post at times ill miss it as im sure others will also.
Hi
I regret my comment in the above thread about August saying "let the attacks begin" After being advised by a freind I have realised I should not have written that it was uncalled for. I tried to edit it but the edit button is not available. August thankyou for excepting my apology.
Liz..you asked "Now you say you want milk instead of meat, what does that mean? What is milk? "
What I was trying to say is that I am a baby in recovery and can only handle milk, not being ready for meat or solids. (it is a Biblical reference though out of context) In the Bible St Paul chastises people for staying like babies only able to take milk and that they should learn to mature (grow) in the faith....entering into the deeper things God has for them.
Paul
I regret my comment in the above thread about August saying "let the attacks begin" After being advised by a freind I have realised I should not have written that it was uncalled for. I tried to edit it but the edit button is not available. August thankyou for excepting my apology.
Liz..you asked "Now you say you want milk instead of meat, what does that mean? What is milk? "
What I was trying to say is that I am a baby in recovery and can only handle milk, not being ready for meat or solids. (it is a Biblical reference though out of context) In the Bible St Paul chastises people for staying like babies only able to take milk and that they should learn to mature (grow) in the faith....entering into the deeper things God has for them.
Paul
Hi Paul,
Yes I recognized the saying from when I went to Church. I have to say though I don't think that there is milk with recovery. Or the program is the milk. Not sure. I'm not one to judge because as of yet I haven't been back to any meetings. Haven't been to a meeting in I think 3 years now. I only know what I have heard. I've heard that meeting makers make it. Could be why we just keep falling back into the same old. I know though when I went to meetings it was uncomfortable for me. I still couldn't get out of my shell. I just hid and couldn't get out of the meeting fast enough.
I just never heard of anything in between the going to meetings though. If you find it, please let me know. I don't like to go to meetings either.
Liz
Yes I recognized the saying from when I went to Church. I have to say though I don't think that there is milk with recovery. Or the program is the milk. Not sure. I'm not one to judge because as of yet I haven't been back to any meetings. Haven't been to a meeting in I think 3 years now. I only know what I have heard. I've heard that meeting makers make it. Could be why we just keep falling back into the same old. I know though when I went to meetings it was uncomfortable for me. I still couldn't get out of my shell. I just hid and couldn't get out of the meeting fast enough.
I just never heard of anything in between the going to meetings though. If you find it, please let me know. I don't like to go to meetings either.
Liz
to all,
havent been here all weekend and now I am reading through...
here are my comments...
perk.... see i told you.... i know you must feel better knowing that your employer knows and you dont have to see her walking toward you and wondering ..'is this the day she found out...' ... well anyway .,. I am thrilled... I would only ask one word of caution... you are not only making headway in cleaning your own life but your success or failure in this job will either make it harder or easier for the next person in recovery to get the same break.... people who are recovery and relapse badly on the job... (that is to say stealing from that job or the such) make it hard for the next person to get the same second chance because the employer gets burned enough then they simply will not offer a hand to get it bitten agian... soo I truly hope you do well .. esp for you and also for the many others that are sure to follow in your footstep.... just a thought... if you see a problem ahead.. please seek help and dont ignore your recovery ...it should ALWAYS come first...
August.... i understand the position you see yourself in.. I have been there in the sense of my recovery is concerned... you know best in this area... and if you ever need anything... i know you know where to find your true supporters...
I learned early on in recovery and in life that many people just give lip service to saying ... you can have your opinion and i accept that when in fact they dont and those that feed on controvesy... if there isnt any they will (clocked in good intentions) breed some. knowing full well what it will grow...
So i will miss you on here my friend... as yours and a few others are on my wavelength... ( we 12 stepers are def in minority.) but i will remain as long as i can ... hope you will keep reading.....
Paul... dont know what to say... so it is best that i say nothing... in the hope that this behavior will be repeated by others.... forget the appologies for the past couple of months...just change your thinking now and stop bringing it up.... forgetting is much harder if it is brought to our attenttions over and over.... anyway.... things work out better sometimes with very limited interference from us... am I making sense....?
bob and sammy... you are soooo dead on....i couldnt have said it better my self... (i mght have been a little shorterl sammy...lol... that is a first for me to say that...lol...just kidding...)....
God Bless us all.
teresa
havent been here all weekend and now I am reading through...
here are my comments...
perk.... see i told you.... i know you must feel better knowing that your employer knows and you dont have to see her walking toward you and wondering ..'is this the day she found out...' ... well anyway .,. I am thrilled... I would only ask one word of caution... you are not only making headway in cleaning your own life but your success or failure in this job will either make it harder or easier for the next person in recovery to get the same break.... people who are recovery and relapse badly on the job... (that is to say stealing from that job or the such) make it hard for the next person to get the same second chance because the employer gets burned enough then they simply will not offer a hand to get it bitten agian... soo I truly hope you do well .. esp for you and also for the many others that are sure to follow in your footstep.... just a thought... if you see a problem ahead.. please seek help and dont ignore your recovery ...it should ALWAYS come first...
August.... i understand the position you see yourself in.. I have been there in the sense of my recovery is concerned... you know best in this area... and if you ever need anything... i know you know where to find your true supporters...
I learned early on in recovery and in life that many people just give lip service to saying ... you can have your opinion and i accept that when in fact they dont and those that feed on controvesy... if there isnt any they will (clocked in good intentions) breed some. knowing full well what it will grow...
So i will miss you on here my friend... as yours and a few others are on my wavelength... ( we 12 stepers are def in minority.) but i will remain as long as i can ... hope you will keep reading.....
Paul... dont know what to say... so it is best that i say nothing... in the hope that this behavior will be repeated by others.... forget the appologies for the past couple of months...just change your thinking now and stop bringing it up.... forgetting is much harder if it is brought to our attenttions over and over.... anyway.... things work out better sometimes with very limited interference from us... am I making sense....?
bob and sammy... you are soooo dead on....i couldnt have said it better my self... (i mght have been a little shorterl sammy...lol... that is a first for me to say that...lol...just kidding...)....
God Bless us all.
teresa
teresa and liz
I think i keep apologising because of the internalised guilt I feel. So I imagine I am projecting it outward and asking people to forgive me?
teresa: you asked if your were making sense......not sure......forgive my ignorance.......but I know that you have little time for me ?why.....I am just an addict trying to make sense of things. I am definately "not the sharpest crayon in the box" and feel grossly misunderstood in some ways but completely rattled(understood) in others. Are your posts written to help me or do you still have suspiscions about me?
Just would love to know
Do not wish for anymore contfrontations .....just want to know where I stand....I know that others advise that I am the only one that matters.....and I should take care of me but I cannot live like that.....I need to know my standing.....whether right or wrong
thanks for listening
Paul
I think i keep apologising because of the internalised guilt I feel. So I imagine I am projecting it outward and asking people to forgive me?
teresa: you asked if your were making sense......not sure......forgive my ignorance.......but I know that you have little time for me ?why.....I am just an addict trying to make sense of things. I am definately "not the sharpest crayon in the box" and feel grossly misunderstood in some ways but completely rattled(understood) in others. Are your posts written to help me or do you still have suspiscions about me?
Just would love to know
Do not wish for anymore contfrontations .....just want to know where I stand....I know that others advise that I am the only one that matters.....and I should take care of me but I cannot live like that.....I need to know my standing.....whether right or wrong
thanks for listening
Paul
Dear Paul,
Why is it important to know your "standing"? Right or wrong to who? You must think of yourself first when it comes to your recovery. What other people think is not important, only what you think.
EarthDog
Why is it important to know your "standing"? Right or wrong to who? You must think of yourself first when it comes to your recovery. What other people think is not important, only what you think.
EarthDog
Thanks earthdog
but I am not concerned, not about myself, just worried that I may have offened some. I am not important, others are to me. I just hope everyone is well. The games people play are significant to me, I am a peaceful bloke locked into something I hate (addiction). The games must stop for your(more important to me) and my sake
Earthdog I hope you are well email me
Paul
but I am not concerned, not about myself, just worried that I may have offened some. I am not important, others are to me. I just hope everyone is well. The games people play are significant to me, I am a peaceful bloke locked into something I hate (addiction). The games must stop for your(more important to me) and my sake
Earthdog I hope you are well email me
Paul
Paul,
For Christ's sake let it go. Stop anylizing things so much. If you focused on recovery as much as you do the nonence that goes on here along with the same ol' same ol' you keep bringing up you would be doing great in your recovery. Every time you post your either asking for an apology or an explanation of some kind. Or apologizing your self. "Let It Go"!
I heard one time that if someone asked an alcoholic what time it is, the alcoholic
would instead explain how to build a wrist watch! lol sheww, it's so true...
Take care.............................God bless......................................Bob
For Christ's sake let it go. Stop anylizing things so much. If you focused on recovery as much as you do the nonence that goes on here along with the same ol' same ol' you keep bringing up you would be doing great in your recovery. Every time you post your either asking for an apology or an explanation of some kind. Or apologizing your self. "Let It Go"!
I heard one time that if someone asked an alcoholic what time it is, the alcoholic
would instead explain how to build a wrist watch! lol sheww, it's so true...
Take care.............................God bless......................................Bob
Dear Paul.
you are wrong about this one. you ARE important. you may not see it that way but you are regardless.
EarthDog
you are wrong about this one. you ARE important. you may not see it that way but you are regardless.
EarthDog
paul,
ok I will try to explain one more time.... stop saying that i have little time for you.... there is only two possilbe reasons you would throw that in .... do really need me to list them... either you want me to feel bad ... as i have left that impression with you or... you want just what you got.. a oh my goodness you are important response... well here it is... It is not that i do not have time for you .... on the contrary .. I have all the time in the world to help others looking for help and recovery... but not for the games and manipulation that comes often from others.......
my post to you was out of a concern if you will not out of suspicion... all i am saying is... if I kept constantly telling the people i have done harm what i did to them and keep appologizing instead of just going forward... would they ever forget what i did...?... probably not... how could they I keep reminding them... and why would a person do that.... to elicit a certain response...
I can recongnize this in others quite easily as I have struggled with this all my life...it is called manipulating.. I did it way before i picked up my first drug... it is sick and serves no real purpose... if you get what you want by manipulating is it really heart felt...
I call em as I see em.... i wish you well... and dont hold any ill will toward you.. but for your sake let it all go.... stop with the appologies and the like...just add advise as you can and let the chips fall where they may....
opinions are like a**holes ... everybody has got one.... so.....
there ya go...
my four cents this time...
Teresa
ok I will try to explain one more time.... stop saying that i have little time for you.... there is only two possilbe reasons you would throw that in .... do really need me to list them... either you want me to feel bad ... as i have left that impression with you or... you want just what you got.. a oh my goodness you are important response... well here it is... It is not that i do not have time for you .... on the contrary .. I have all the time in the world to help others looking for help and recovery... but not for the games and manipulation that comes often from others.......
my post to you was out of a concern if you will not out of suspicion... all i am saying is... if I kept constantly telling the people i have done harm what i did to them and keep appologizing instead of just going forward... would they ever forget what i did...?... probably not... how could they I keep reminding them... and why would a person do that.... to elicit a certain response...
I can recongnize this in others quite easily as I have struggled with this all my life...it is called manipulating.. I did it way before i picked up my first drug... it is sick and serves no real purpose... if you get what you want by manipulating is it really heart felt...
I call em as I see em.... i wish you well... and dont hold any ill will toward you.. but for your sake let it all go.... stop with the appologies and the like...just add advise as you can and let the chips fall where they may....
opinions are like a**holes ... everybody has got one.... so.....
there ya go...
my four cents this time...
Teresa
Hi Paul,
I really feel for you. You have to stop worrying so much of what people may or may not think of you. Like the old saying. What others may be thinking about me is none of my business. You apologized to everybody so many times. Nothing more you can do. If they except it, great, if not, Oh well. Just have to really move on.
At first I kept apologizing to August as well. I wasn't sure if I did something wrong or not. He ignored me and I just came to except that. Yea, at first it really pi$$ed me off but then I thought about it. I couldn't help but think why should I care what he thinks of me? Makes no difference to me and it shouldn't make any difference to you. Just move on.
Liz
I really feel for you. You have to stop worrying so much of what people may or may not think of you. Like the old saying. What others may be thinking about me is none of my business. You apologized to everybody so many times. Nothing more you can do. If they except it, great, if not, Oh well. Just have to really move on.
At first I kept apologizing to August as well. I wasn't sure if I did something wrong or not. He ignored me and I just came to except that. Yea, at first it really pi$$ed me off but then I thought about it. I couldn't help but think why should I care what he thinks of me? Makes no difference to me and it shouldn't make any difference to you. Just move on.
Liz
I AM NOT A MANIPULATER. I AM A HONEST BLOKE JUST TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF THIS MADNESS. MANIPULATION IS NOT ON MY AGENDA IF THAT DOES NOT FIT INTO ANY OF YOUR PARADIGMS THEN SO WHAT, I WILL MOVE ON. I HAVE MOVED ON. JUST TRIED TO SAY HELLO AND PEACE TO A FEW FOLKS......THEN GOT ANALYED TO DEATH!
I COME FROM A VERY CHRISTIAN/EVANGELICAL WORLDVIEW 9WE ALL COME FROM SOME SORT OF WORLD VIEW) AND HATE TALK ABOUT RECOVEY IS ABOUT ME. IT CANNOT BE ABOUT ME BUT CHRIST WHO LIVES IN ME.....I AM NOTHING HE IS EVERYTHING. I LIVED 15 YEARS SOBER WITH HIM, I MADE MISTAKE.....EVERYONE TALK TO ME WHEN YOU HAVE 15 YEARS AND STILL ARE SOBER. WHAT I AM SAYING IS THAT WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES. I WAS SOBER FOR >15YEARS (BERORE THAT I WAS DRUNK AND STONED FOR >12 YEARS) BUT SLIPPED AROUND 6 MONTHS AGO. HARDLY A LIFETIME OF ABUSE JUST 6 MONTHS BUT AM GETTING ADVISE FROM FOLKS WHO HAVE JUST A FEW MONTHS.....LIKE I SAID >15 YEARS IT MUST HAVE WORKED ONE TIME AND MY COUNSSELORS KEEPS SAYING WHY NOT AGAIN. PLEASE LET BE BE A PART WITHOUT MAKING ME FEEL HORIBLE/INADEQUATE ABOUT MYSELF.
GOD IS GOOD AND SO AM I THRUOGH HIM ONLY
PAUL (CAPS INTENTIONAL)
I COME FROM A VERY CHRISTIAN/EVANGELICAL WORLDVIEW 9WE ALL COME FROM SOME SORT OF WORLD VIEW) AND HATE TALK ABOUT RECOVEY IS ABOUT ME. IT CANNOT BE ABOUT ME BUT CHRIST WHO LIVES IN ME.....I AM NOTHING HE IS EVERYTHING. I LIVED 15 YEARS SOBER WITH HIM, I MADE MISTAKE.....EVERYONE TALK TO ME WHEN YOU HAVE 15 YEARS AND STILL ARE SOBER. WHAT I AM SAYING IS THAT WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES. I WAS SOBER FOR >15YEARS (BERORE THAT I WAS DRUNK AND STONED FOR >12 YEARS) BUT SLIPPED AROUND 6 MONTHS AGO. HARDLY A LIFETIME OF ABUSE JUST 6 MONTHS BUT AM GETTING ADVISE FROM FOLKS WHO HAVE JUST A FEW MONTHS.....LIKE I SAID >15 YEARS IT MUST HAVE WORKED ONE TIME AND MY COUNSSELORS KEEPS SAYING WHY NOT AGAIN. PLEASE LET BE BE A PART WITHOUT MAKING ME FEEL HORIBLE/INADEQUATE ABOUT MYSELF.
GOD IS GOOD AND SO AM I THRUOGH HIM ONLY
PAUL (CAPS INTENTIONAL)
