OMG hon, I just spent an hour writing a post- that got erased .... I guess I took too long to write it and when i went to enter it-- it just threw me out..... arrrrrrrghhh that is SO annoying. I"ll re-write it and hopefully post it here so that we stop hijacking others threads.....
And yes- I am three full hours ahead of you- so when it's 5pm for you, it's 8pm for me.... Not sure I can make the 3pm tomorrow date darlin, but I'll try. That'll be during my work hours, so it may be tough for me but I'll absolutely try hon. But even if I can't do that I will come back here later on in the evening- at 8pm. Hope, hope, hope we can run into each other soon darlin. OL
Shut the FRONT door- it's already after eleven pm already. Oh gosh- I have been here since 8 but was farting around checking other threads and so forth. My apologies as I couldn't do the 3pm thing today. It was crazy busy and I didn't have any free time until about 5pm or so..... But by that time I had a bunch of co-workers around my office asking me if I "know anything about anything" but I can't say a thing. Reason being is that the one person that shared the info with me asked me to NOT say a word and I shan't. Anyoo darlin I just wanted to check in and see how you're doing and how you're feeling today? Have u started thinking in a serious manner about tapering, cuz I really, really hope so. I've been trying to be so good- and I've been just ok. I have indeed been pondering and thinking- but didn't manage to go down today. But that's ok- I'm not gonna beat myself up cuz that won't help in any manner. Just gotta try harder tomorrow. It's a bit more difficult cuz my knee is killin' me and the stuff at work is so, so crazy. But I've got to realize that stuff is all nothing... There are always, always gonna be these other factors happening and I can NOT let them derail me.
I'm so glad that I've put aside these extra couple of weeks at the beginning because I remember last time how it really took me like three to four weeks before I started getting really serious about the taper. It's always harder right in the beginning cuz u tend to let little bulls*** things get in your way. I've gotta get back into that headspace where NOTHING matters except the taper. I have to keep imagining that at the end of January, that I'm going to jail and that I MUST, MUST be close to clean by then.... Know what I mean hon? I think that type of mindset is what is needed here cuz we have to be DEAD SERIOUS about it... I hope, hope, hope that I can run into you soon darlin. I'll be trying my damndest to check in here the rest of the week at 8pm every evening- k? Thanx for listening my dear... Best thoughts, OL
I'm so glad that I've put aside these extra couple of weeks at the beginning because I remember last time how it really took me like three to four weeks before I started getting really serious about the taper. It's always harder right in the beginning cuz u tend to let little bulls*** things get in your way. I've gotta get back into that headspace where NOTHING matters except the taper. I have to keep imagining that at the end of January, that I'm going to jail and that I MUST, MUST be close to clean by then.... Know what I mean hon? I think that type of mindset is what is needed here cuz we have to be DEAD SERIOUS about it... I hope, hope, hope that I can run into you soon darlin. I'll be trying my damndest to check in here the rest of the week at 8pm every evening- k? Thanx for listening my dear... Best thoughts, OL
Hey Babydoll, just wanted to check in... it's almost 8:30 here and I was lucky enuff to have my honey make dinner for me this evening. I totally didn't expect it, but I came home and he told me to just sit down and relax, grab a cold beer and I did. Next thing I know he brought me a plate of broiled cod with steamed carrots. Was totally yummy and unexpected. I thought we were gonna call the sub shoppe down the street and grab something quick. So nice to have a home cooked meal. But he's not working right now, so i do appreciate that he's doing more house type stuff....
How was today babydoll? I hope, hope, hope that you had a chance to ponder about the taper and maybe even possible cut down just a teeny bit?? I did OK today myself. Not great. But- about regular. So that means that tomorrow and over the next few days I've got to try to really be good and try to really, really taper somewhat. Doesn't have to be crazy and in fact that's why I started so early- so that I don't have to be all-crazy. But I do have to at least make a little progress. Okie dokes doll, Ill be here for a while and hopefully you'll check in... MUAH, OL
How was today babydoll? I hope, hope, hope that you had a chance to ponder about the taper and maybe even possible cut down just a teeny bit?? I did OK today myself. Not great. But- about regular. So that means that tomorrow and over the next few days I've got to try to really be good and try to really, really taper somewhat. Doesn't have to be crazy and in fact that's why I started so early- so that I don't have to be all-crazy. But I do have to at least make a little progress. Okie dokes doll, Ill be here for a while and hopefully you'll check in... MUAH, OL
Ok my dear one... here it is 8:15pm, I'm a lil late tonite. But again, I was lucky tonite that my honey made dinner! And it was a real goodie again as well... I'm really not a big meat eater, in fact I was a pretty strict vegetarian for 11years, but about 8 years back my doc told me that I was not getting nearly the spectrum of vitamins / minerals / enzymes, etc... So I could either take a HUGE-a** liver smelling horse pill OR- I could start adding meat and other proteins back into my diet. So I decided to take the diet route. I thought well- I'll do this, and enjoy some really varied things for a few years and then see about going back. It's been a minute now and I must admit, it's cool being able to eat everything. Well, I don't eat swine. Never have and never will. No way. But, wow I really can get off-topic quick huh?? Dinner was a beautiful little mini filet mignon and he made a big ole bowl of salad which consisted of organic romaine, vidalia onions, orange peppers, celery, cucumbers, whole manzanilla olives, he sliced up into little chunks some of our Cabot "Seriously Sharp" cheese. The steak was just this rare side of rare. Which is just how I like it. He actually put his own back in for another two minutes, hahahaaa! Anyhoo darling I wanted to see how you made out today and in the last few days?? I did meh, ok- but not great. I didn't go up of course, but didn't really go down either. So I've got to really put a lot more effort into this here. I need to be making more significant strides... Not expecting a miracle, but am hoping for one. I am willing to work for one- and hoping to run into one (gotta have hope right??)
Would so, so love to find ya babe Feel like for whatever reason youve not been around in the last three to five days or thereabouts. I know you were super tired there for a while and generally that is your body telling you that something is wrong. Its the only way our physical being has of letting us kno that something is going on I hope that you are listening to it and sleeping well (and a lot) and feeding it very well too. Not junk but really good stuff. I dont know what your eating habits are darlin, but I hope that u are able to get good, wholesome, healthy food. Us over here on the East coast, we always feel like peeps out in the LA-ish area are always very close to super good, non-GMO, wholesome, organic food.
Oh gosh its almost eleven on Thursday evening here my dear and I hope that u are doing well and that possibly uve even gone down a teeny bit in your usage. So now we are into October (1st) and Ive got to start making some progress in this endeavor. I found my old notebook where Id written down how much Id done / used when I did my other taper. Today is beginning of the end, which is a good thing in this instance. Ive got to read thru that notebook cover to cover so I can figure ou that particular algorithm I used I believe it consisted of buying X amount, cutting it up into X piles so that Im fully aware of how much I have and exactly how much Im using. I think thats the only way itll work with what we are dealing with cuz we have no clue really how strong it is, or I should say what the proof is (hahhahhaaaaha) I think you know what I mean tho hon yes? Gosh again- here it is getting close to passing 11pm and Ive only gotten this one post typed up. Well- hopefully Ill run into you over the weekend- Ill surely try. Ill for sure try to check around 8pm every evening but Sat & Sun day Ill try to pop in too and see if I can find yaHope this reaches you in best of health & spirits my dear. Talk more soon. MUAH! OL
Would so, so love to find ya babe Feel like for whatever reason youve not been around in the last three to five days or thereabouts. I know you were super tired there for a while and generally that is your body telling you that something is wrong. Its the only way our physical being has of letting us kno that something is going on I hope that you are listening to it and sleeping well (and a lot) and feeding it very well too. Not junk but really good stuff. I dont know what your eating habits are darlin, but I hope that u are able to get good, wholesome, healthy food. Us over here on the East coast, we always feel like peeps out in the LA-ish area are always very close to super good, non-GMO, wholesome, organic food.
Oh gosh its almost eleven on Thursday evening here my dear and I hope that u are doing well and that possibly uve even gone down a teeny bit in your usage. So now we are into October (1st) and Ive got to start making some progress in this endeavor. I found my old notebook where Id written down how much Id done / used when I did my other taper. Today is beginning of the end, which is a good thing in this instance. Ive got to read thru that notebook cover to cover so I can figure ou that particular algorithm I used I believe it consisted of buying X amount, cutting it up into X piles so that Im fully aware of how much I have and exactly how much Im using. I think thats the only way itll work with what we are dealing with cuz we have no clue really how strong it is, or I should say what the proof is (hahhahhaaaaha) I think you know what I mean tho hon yes? Gosh again- here it is getting close to passing 11pm and Ive only gotten this one post typed up. Well- hopefully Ill run into you over the weekend- Ill surely try. Ill for sure try to check around 8pm every evening but Sat & Sun day Ill try to pop in too and see if I can find yaHope this reaches you in best of health & spirits my dear. Talk more soon. MUAH! OL
Hi opi. I'm so sorry. In hope you don't think I abandoned you. I am so sorry . I haven't been on here for about four days. I tried to get right the other day. And got to just one day and then I gave up. because I didn't like that I had no support or even a plan. I didn't plan on that happening. I didn't think of getting to a na meeting. I just gave in. I should of had a plan of time and dates of meetings and what else I could do in case that relapses feeling came over me.
We need to hurry up and find each other, do u use Facebook? And i don't have a job so I'm home all day everyday. So please , just one more time, tell me when and what time to be here and I promise I will log it into my alarm on my phone and I will be here. I promise. I need someone who I can talk to. I feel alone and s***ty as I speak. I need some help with motivating me and giving me encouragement. It's easy to talk myself out of doing what's right. And I do pray everyday , at all types of the day and not just night time before bed. I'm feeling real down on myself right now and could really use a friend. I hope u read this soon.
We need to hurry up and find each other, do u use Facebook? And i don't have a job so I'm home all day everyday. So please , just one more time, tell me when and what time to be here and I promise I will log it into my alarm on my phone and I will be here. I promise. I need someone who I can talk to. I feel alone and s***ty as I speak. I need some help with motivating me and giving me encouragement. It's easy to talk myself out of doing what's right. And I do pray everyday , at all types of the day and not just night time before bed. I'm feeling real down on myself right now and could really use a friend. I hope u read this soon.
Darlin, no worries- I completely understand. I am indeed on FB and if you can possibly do a lil search on there for Origami77 that is where u'll find me. My 1st name is Kaysee and I'm not sure how long this post will be allowed to be up- so I hope that you see it. I also wanted to tell you that the reason I've been trying to get in touch is so that we CAN get a plan in place. Just trying to NOT use- is never, ever gonna work hon, and I think that you know that. We've got to get a plan in place and that what's i've been trying to do... Right now I'm upset with myself cuz I didn't taper over this past weekend as I'd hoped- instead I did everything that I had... Which was not a good thing to do... BUT it is what it is and getting mad won't help or change anything so I shant waste anymore time on that. Please try to find me. In the meantime, I will try to log in here every evening at 8pm and if you can do same- we'll be able to find each other- k? Hope, hope, hope that we can work it out darlin......... I know that we can cuz there is a reason we found each other. Be good to yourself ok? MUAH, OL
I FOUND YOU..
I'd what is origami and those two numbers are. I'm looking for that on Facebook but I don't see anything with origami and those two numbers.
Ahh. Cheese and crackers I can't find you anywhere. Even looked on bing. , okay now I'm on Facebook too under MACHO chicken and rice. Chicken and rice is one word. Also , I don't want to give too much info out and make it all obvious but when you look up the name I gave you just remember this, ,,,, I love unicorns and cats okay. Also I have it that I get emails sent to my cell phone every time someone replies to this topic on this message boards. So as soon as you post on here tomorrow at Eight , Incase I forget I'll be able to hear my phone telling me about the email then ill check. So after you post your reply try to wait around here on this website for like ten minute or something just to give it all time to get to me-for me to get to it, til I get to you,.!! Get it !!! But try to look for me in the way I told you to on Facebook. Also,, even though it really is chicken and rice , its not spelled the english way. Love u .bye.
Hey Baby, Ok I'm gonna try to find ya on FB. Altho I'm confused. I'm not clear on the chicken and rice part?? is it in spanish? is it "ChknNRice"?? or Chkn&rice or Arroz con Pollo? I'll try them all but feel like I still don't have it. Is the word macho in there too? I also wanted to tell you about a free email service that I discovered recently. It's called Yandex.com and I'm just trying it out right now. It's based in Russia so that's a lil odd, but I'm using it for things that I sign up for and freebie type things that I don't really wanna spamming up my own email. It's good to have one like that- that you can get rid of if it gets too crazy. So far, it's been pretty good and if you need a disposable email you should try them. In fact- if you try that NameNumber that I told ya at this new email service I will likely get it. I'm hoping you see this message now and I'll come back and delete this later (actually not sure if i can). I surely hope that this reaches you in good health & spirits my dear. OL
Ok gosh it's after 11 now and I don't think that u've checked in yet. I kept on checking back like every ten minutes or so, but nothing. I'll bet that the phone either didn't alert you or possibly you are napping cuz as u'd mentioned before. Hoping that your not getting sick hon. I'm finally feeling a bit better as its literally a week today that I had my fall. I can finally walk regular now (without a limp) and that's great. I'm super tired today myself, so gonna sign off for tonite, but I'll DEF be back here tomm evening @8pm. Hoping u'll get my email from above information and I'll try to check that during the day tomm if poss. I did just ok today myself, how bout you hon? I think I did a tad less than the day before and that is so much better than going upward in usage. But I need to use alot less..... significantly less. Will be keepin this in mind and making tomorrow better. Hope u can do the same my dear one... OL
Ok gosh it's after 11 now and I don't think that u've checked in yet. I kept on checking back like every ten minutes or so, but nothing. I'll bet that the phone either didn't alert you or possibly you are napping cuz as u'd mentioned before. Hoping that your not getting sick hon. I'm finally feeling a bit better as its literally a week today that I had my fall. I can finally walk regular now (without a limp) and that's great. I'm super tired today myself, so gonna sign off for tonite, but I'll DEF be back here tomm evening @8pm. Hoping u'll get my email from above information and I'll try to check that during the day tomm if poss. I did just ok today myself, how bout you hon? I think I did a tad less than the day before and that is so much better than going upward in usage. But I need to use alot less..... significantly less. Will be keepin this in mind and making tomorrow better. Hope u can do the same my dear one... OL
I'm late
hahahahaha LOL omg hon, that's too funny. Now it's my turn to probably be absent / late. To be honest hon, I'm actually feeling really lousy today. I just got home and something is definitely up cuz I have serious cramps (cuz period just started, so that means next three days will be horrible for me). On top of that the inside of my eyelids are hot, which for me that is my "tell" that I've got a fever. It's so weird when u're using & don't feel good (that has nothing to do with the drug). Half of me is like well, s*** i don't feel good anyway- so I might as well stretch out my time between doses now. Other half is like "hmmm i really don't feel good but I know what would make me feel better..." Know what i mean??? I'm gonna try my damdest 2 stick with the first feeling. This fever thing is not usual with cramps tho so I'm not sure whats up with that. I have been trying to find Macho Chicken and rice, but like ChknNRice or Chkn&Rice or even arroz con pollo but none of those find anything. However, I'm hoping that you can take the [Asian paper folding] with two numbers after at that freebie email service I mentioned. I think /hope that actually would get you right to me directly. Can u try that hon? If I'm a lil tardy for the next day or two please understand that it's just me feeling lousy. But I still wanna talk with you more than anything my dear. I think we could help each other and I'll try my damdest to help & give a lil strength if at all possible. I want ONLY to help darlin and want to see you get healthy & get to the life that u really want. U know that you CAN and you just have to want it more than u want H. (I kno that's so much easier said than done, but please at least think about it- ok?). Hoping this reaches u in best of health & spirits. OL
Hi Babe, it's after 10pm already here tonite and that means I'm a bit late myself. Feeling a tad better myself right now- but I know it's totally false energy. I did a bit more dope that is normal for me at this time and I also did a perc that I had stashed for emergencies. Today I did make it work but around 3pm-ish I started having super bad cramps. So I actually split from there a little bit early today. We didn't have any sessions scheduled for rest of day today so I figured it'd be ok. I usually always stay in till 6 or 6:30pm, which puts me home around 7:45 or so. But today I left right around 4 and got here around 5 cuz the trains were easier & less full than usual. I'm gonna really try to get to bed earlier than usual tonite so that I can hopefully continue on the healing train in a significant manner. Still doing approximately 6000mg of Lysine per day to try to keep everything at bay.
So darlin' listen I surely hope things are going a little bit better for you. Please let me know and if can drop a line to that email that I hope u've maybe / possibly figured out by now (or if not- please, please tell me?) I hope that U've managed to take a tad bit less today and if u've not done that, that's ok hon. "We can't let yesterday rule tomorrow" so- therefore let's truly & honestly try to do that tomorrow- k? Please hon, I KNOW, know, know that its so much easier said than done, but I also know that you CAN. Look at what you've done - you enabled another human being to have life and you nurtured and fed her for the 1st nine months of her growth. That is one of the hardest jobs in the entire world. Any lady that can do THAT, I know --KNOW that she can do this too. Plus-- doing this is only gonna get you back closer to the place you wanna be with getting her back in your life- too, right? I mean I know that I'm really kinda assuming alot here just from what I've read 'bout you on here darlin. So please if I'm wrong, bout any of this - I'm super sorry- but I'm just kinda guessing by putting the dots together from things u've said in diff threads over this board. I only wanna help darlin from the bottom of my heart. And I'm hoping we can hook up to be able 2 talk closer. Nite Nite for now my darling. Hope 2 talk again real soon. MUAH, OL
So darlin' listen I surely hope things are going a little bit better for you. Please let me know and if can drop a line to that email that I hope u've maybe / possibly figured out by now (or if not- please, please tell me?) I hope that U've managed to take a tad bit less today and if u've not done that, that's ok hon. "We can't let yesterday rule tomorrow" so- therefore let's truly & honestly try to do that tomorrow- k? Please hon, I KNOW, know, know that its so much easier said than done, but I also know that you CAN. Look at what you've done - you enabled another human being to have life and you nurtured and fed her for the 1st nine months of her growth. That is one of the hardest jobs in the entire world. Any lady that can do THAT, I know --KNOW that she can do this too. Plus-- doing this is only gonna get you back closer to the place you wanna be with getting her back in your life- too, right? I mean I know that I'm really kinda assuming alot here just from what I've read 'bout you on here darlin. So please if I'm wrong, bout any of this - I'm super sorry- but I'm just kinda guessing by putting the dots together from things u've said in diff threads over this board. I only wanna help darlin from the bottom of my heart. And I'm hoping we can hook up to be able 2 talk closer. Nite Nite for now my darling. Hope 2 talk again real soon. MUAH, OL
Hurry op I think I'm on time three hour difference and I'm behind you right?. It 5:05 here in L.A rite now.
Opiate lover.. I'm waiting for you. I finally got here in time and your not here. Timing today suck.
I'm going to edit all these soon. Just give me a little more time please. I'm waiting for my friend.
Yes I did find that website but I can't find you. I found a few guys and some girl but have been members on that site for a long time. No one just recently like you said . Hmmm Ima keep trying.Ohh I thought I was in luck :(
I'm so mad. I gotta take a break ill be back in a hour.it's 5:58 rite now.
no worries darlin... I'm pretty sure I gotcha now..... I'm gonna throw togther a note now and hopefully you'll get it and we can go from there..... surely hope u are well darlin, MUAH, OL
