Hi friends, I may ramble but please understand, Dad is out of the hosptial, but still not out of the woods, he has pneumnia now and is so weak... he will probably miss his next chemo treatment. To top this all off my H did coke on Sunday, $100.00 went missing from our rent money and when I asked him about it he blew a gasket, and now has been nothing but a tyrant accusing me of all sorts of things.all the while I'm just trying to be there for my family. He even said to me yesterday "Everyone dies" can you believe it... I am completely heartbroken and feel so alone in the struggle. I am having a beer, just couldn't take it anymore.. feel like I'm loosing my mind. We were supposed to be renting a cottage by the lake with his children, but Iam choosing not to go. No support from him, sorry none for me, I am needed here more. I'm really thinking while he is gone looking into another place, too many memories here, sad that someone who you thought you could count on during these times just lets you down... and just thinks of himself and his needs... I''m so sad... I've made an appointment for councelling on Wedneday. hope it helps... sorry to be such a bummer guys,,, you are all doing so well... and I pray you carry on this way.
With lots of love
lovedove
LD, Hope you are doing better now. I know the false sense of relief a drink can provide...however, whenever I drank nothing good ever came out of it. You can start your day over at anytime and stay sober one day at time! Best of luck to you...you are going thru some tough times.
Hey Lovedove a very important part of recovery is learning to store up energy and not give it all away to others who do not appreciate it, either mentally, physically, emotionally or spiritually other people who need your energy will sap it and then goe on to the next prisoner. You only had a beer today you have tomorrow and you have time with your dad use your energy mainly with your dad. Let your energy levels build. I know for me i am a empath which means i can take on peoples feelings and emotions etc whilst they take my energy. When anyone comes along who is stealing your energy wrap yourself in a white light and Gods love. Ask God to look after your Dad while you build your energy.
When you described your H and his actions you gave a great description of addiction, look after yourself as his guilt will get stronger and he needs you to drink so he can regain the power.
Again Lovedove take all that has happened as a learning tool and use it to help yourself and those you care for My love to you in every word and energy as well.
Light and love Zac
When you described your H and his actions you gave a great description of addiction, look after yourself as his guilt will get stronger and he needs you to drink so he can regain the power.
Again Lovedove take all that has happened as a learning tool and use it to help yourself and those you care for My love to you in every word and energy as well.
Light and love Zac
Dear Zac, Thank-you for your heartfelt post, it touched me deeply... I am like that I suck up everyone else's feelings, moods etc, and it weakens me to the point where I just say what the hell!! I did learn from yesterday, and I'm going to stay strong, I'll just fake it till I make it!! Your the best Zac your words mean so much to me..
And VW girl, thanks hun, your support means the world to me as well..... like I had mentioned I'm going to councelling next week, and maybe they will point me into the direction of AA
Love to you both
lovedove
And VW girl, thanks hun, your support means the world to me as well..... like I had mentioned I'm going to councelling next week, and maybe they will point me into the direction of AA
Love to you both
lovedove
HI LD
great words of wisdom from Zac. Don't follow your H's example and let addiction take over when what you really need to do is be there for your family.
I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this extra burden at the time you really need support.
If you find you are sucking up emotions from your environment really try meditation, relaxing and deep breathing. Even if all you have time for is a couple of minute breathing meditation it can really help with releasing that negative energy.
Prayers out to your dad.
Idg.
great words of wisdom from Zac. Don't follow your H's example and let addiction take over when what you really need to do is be there for your family.
I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this extra burden at the time you really need support.
If you find you are sucking up emotions from your environment really try meditation, relaxing and deep breathing. Even if all you have time for is a couple of minute breathing meditation it can really help with releasing that negative energy.
Prayers out to your dad.
Idg.
Love-dove, I'm so sorry you are feeling down...I will pray for your Dad and your family. I got this in an email this morning and felt it was very appropriate for what is going on in your life at this time....
{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}]}}
Property Lines
A helpful tool in our recovery, especially in the behavior we call detachment, is learning to identify who owns what. Then we let each person own and possess his or her rightful property.
If another person has an addiction, a problem, a feeling, or a self-defeating behavior, that is their property, not ours. If someone is a martyr, immersed in negativity, controlling, or manipulative, that is their issue, not ours.
If someone has acted and experienced a particular consequence, both the behavior and the consequence belong to that person.
People's lies, deceptions, tricks, manipulations, abusive behaviors, inappropriate behaviors, cheating behaviors, and tacky behaviors belong to them, too. Not us.
People's hope and dreams are their property. Their guilt belong to them too. Their happiness or misery is also theirs. So are their beliefs and messages.
If some people don't like themselves, that is their choice. Their choices are their property, not ours. What people choose to say and do is their business.
What is our property? Our property includes our behaviors, problems, feelings, happiness, misery, choices, and messages; our ability to love, care, and nurture; our thoughts, our denial, our hopes and dreams for ourselves. Whether we allow ourselves to be controlled, manipulated, deceived, or mistreated is our business.
In recovery, we learn an appropriate sense of ownership. If something isn't ours, we don't take it. If we take it, we learn to give it back. Let other people have their property, and learn to own and take good care of what's ours.
Today, I will work at developing a clear sense of what belongs to me, and what doesn't. If it's not mine, I won't keep it. I will deal with myself, my issues, and my responsibilities.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}]}}
Property Lines
A helpful tool in our recovery, especially in the behavior we call detachment, is learning to identify who owns what. Then we let each person own and possess his or her rightful property.
If another person has an addiction, a problem, a feeling, or a self-defeating behavior, that is their property, not ours. If someone is a martyr, immersed in negativity, controlling, or manipulative, that is their issue, not ours.
If someone has acted and experienced a particular consequence, both the behavior and the consequence belong to that person.
People's lies, deceptions, tricks, manipulations, abusive behaviors, inappropriate behaviors, cheating behaviors, and tacky behaviors belong to them, too. Not us.
People's hope and dreams are their property. Their guilt belong to them too. Their happiness or misery is also theirs. So are their beliefs and messages.
If some people don't like themselves, that is their choice. Their choices are their property, not ours. What people choose to say and do is their business.
What is our property? Our property includes our behaviors, problems, feelings, happiness, misery, choices, and messages; our ability to love, care, and nurture; our thoughts, our denial, our hopes and dreams for ourselves. Whether we allow ourselves to be controlled, manipulated, deceived, or mistreated is our business.
In recovery, we learn an appropriate sense of ownership. If something isn't ours, we don't take it. If we take it, we learn to give it back. Let other people have their property, and learn to own and take good care of what's ours.
Today, I will work at developing a clear sense of what belongs to me, and what doesn't. If it's not mine, I won't keep it. I will deal with myself, my issues, and my responsibilities.
Hey LD, I'm sorry to hear things are so rough for you now sweetie... that old saying "misery loves company" really is SO true... sounds like your H is trying to steal your strength since he has none of his own, and make you miserable like he is... don't let him do it!! If he can't see how strong and special you are it's his own fault and his own loss, and you deserve someone who appreciates you to the fullest! Your dad needs you now, and YOU need you now, you have told me in the past, "take care of you" - if you don't, you can't take care of anyone else. I think it was a good decision for you not to go with him... take some time for yourself as well as your dad, give yourself a hug and never forget that you are very special - all your friends here sure know that. Hugs from me at this tough time, I will email you soon, still no internet access at home :( but will try to get in touch soon. Sending you and your dad love, hugs and positive vibes...
Love-Dove, I'm sorry this is happening....I don't have many words of wisdom right now, but just know i'm thinking of you and your DAD and the rest of the family. It's sooooo hard i know.
Many Hugs, J
Many Hugs, J
