I too had a horrible psycho break yesterday on the ex. And while he deseverd every minute of plus a beat-down, I did it in front of my kids, then cried hysterically. Scares me cuz it scares them. Had just promised them to not speak of their dad (who's a real loser...always trying to steal my meds. Made the mistake of telling him they cause dependency so he told my kids a lot of terrible things. Took them to the Dr. and he explained what I was on and why.)The w/d just won't let go...no doubt better, but I'm still out of control of my emotions. ANyone know how to control anger and tears, act mature and in charge whilst in the middle of allthis???
What is your addiction hun?
Sorry you had such a tough time yesterday.
In good times and bad, I've found meetings to be the best way for me to learn to deal with my emotions. It's not a cure-all, but it sure helps!
Take care;
Jim
In good times and bad, I've found meetings to be the best way for me to learn to deal with my emotions. It's not a cure-all, but it sure helps!
Take care;
Jim
MrsUnderstood, Heavy oxy jones. Didn't miss a day for 3 years so I know (and knew) I have to pay the price. For the kids. But I'm so lowly, have no control. But I know you just start over the next day. I didn't use, just shot off my big mouth again. What's your story?? Sucess?
Hey Jim, Thanks for responding. I've looked into the na meetings in my area and found only one for narcotics. It's not too far, but my job is and I stay out on that night. Excuses are easy I know, but I feel stretched so thin right now. I put in 90 hours in 4 days out side of the home wiht 2 15 year olds waiting. Gotta dog them on thier grades every day, deal with their pos dad, have a blind elderly mother I ake care of every week...blah, blah. So I come here. You guys don't judge me, only I do. Thanks for the support.
My advice is to let yourself feel the emotions just go outside and punch s*** if you have to. I have four kids, it is hard to freak out only when they arent around. Your husband was WRONG for telling those children that, I'd like to kick his a**.
MrsUnderstood, He tells them al the time. Married 20 years I'm ashamed to admit. Divorced 6 months. When I stayed at work, (70 miles away, am given a room) he would lock himself in my room and just toss it to steal them. My boys would tell me. Smoked weed everyday w/o trying to hide it from them. I'll tell ya tho' they are soooo turned off to drugs. I'm real straight with them. Didn't tell them I was overusing, but did tell them aobut the withdrawal...about 2 days ago. I found out the ex-husbutt had said I addicted to morphine just that weekend.
I understand. This is really hard stuff, and sometimes we just plain lose it. I had a mini-revelation recently when the counselor I'm seeing told me that anger doesn't have to be rational. He said it's like fear....primal emotions that can get the best of us. Anyway, with anger, sometimes we just need to "let it out". It's healthy. My wife has always been good at that (I always took it personally), but she almost always will apologize once she's settled down. Now that I "get it" I don't overreact when she has her moments, if you know what I mean.
So now I know that rather than to stuff "stuff" and keep it in (which I always did), that it's better (sometimes) to just let it out. If I make a jerk of myself, then when I settle down I apologize and move on to the next "crisis" of the day/week/life.
Jim
So now I know that rather than to stuff "stuff" and keep it in (which I always did), that it's better (sometimes) to just let it out. If I make a jerk of myself, then when I settle down I apologize and move on to the next "crisis" of the day/week/life.
Jim
Sorry, was just reading about your ex's behavior. What a piece of work! (Putting it very kindly). You stay strong...you're doing the right thing and it sounds like your kids are pretty sharp. They need a parent who is responsible and caring. I admire what you're doing.
Jim
Jim
Ah Jim, you're so sweet...now you've got me crying again. I just feel so bad cuz we all know divorced parents areen't supposed to say bad things about each other. I waas screaming at the top of my lungs and they heard me call him a con man and a liar. They've heard worse...but I'd just made a vow like 3 days before to never speak of him unless it was a decent thing to say. I've "stuffed" 20 years tho' did learn to stuff so the kids wouldn't hear. Funny, the 1st few months we didn't fight, just lately. I must be coming to life, however distasteful that is. I've got to deal with him in a healthy way. 1st I've got to be healthy. Thanks for tellin' me I'm o.k. Feel like scum. I'm soooo bad.
