Hello everybody,
I've found this board to be very helpful. I've been dating a recovering addict for about 2 years. I have never met anyone in this situation and he was very confident that it was something of the past so I never really thought about it as an obstacle to our relationship. He was also going through a divorce but seemed so confident and liberated that again, I didn't think much of it.
Our relationship has been on and off but we love each other deeply. For the last few months, he was a shadow of himself, his confidence had gone and we broke up again.
Turns out, he felt out of touch with the recovery programme, the 12 steps etc... So he needed time to work on himself. He's going back to meetings, trying to find a sponsor and working through things. I'm only just realising now that I had the wrong impression, his addiction isn't a baggage, it's a lifelong challenge that he has to face but I want to be supportive and he seems grateful that I'm offering to be there for him.
I know that he needs to be independently working on himself, that this is time and space that he needs so I don't know what to do (I'm not a very mothering/caring person by nature). I read a lot about cutting the cord for their own good, should I do that? How can I show support without over-crowding him?
Also, I struggle to find any information on people who have been clean for a decade +, it seems like the challenges are different. I wonder what would happen if he had children and felt down, would he leave then? Do people go to meetings for the rest of their lives? I wish I'd know what to expect so I can be understanding instead of feeling surprised and confused!
Thanks a lot!
Maybe you can pot this also on the recovery section.
This way people who have through this could answer you too.
This way people who have through this could answer you too.
Good idea, thanks!
