Hi all,
Obviously, I'm pretty new here. There seems to be some pretty good advice floating around from those with experience.
A bit of backstory;
My best friend and I met through a mutual friend. (She was his ex, I was his current girlfriend. He's now my ex... It's a long story.)
When I met her she had been invited to a poker night with her boyfriend.
She and my ex were using cocaine and drinking like fishes, her (now ex) boyfriend had a couple of drinks, as did I.
Within a few hours of playing she fell off the chair she was sitting in and hit her head on a wall.
I wasn't all that impressed, and didn't care all that much if I saw her again.
The next time we saw each other was at a rock festival.
Again, she was pretty trashed, and I just wanted to make sure she was okay.
Once we both got back home from the rock festival we started talking more, and spending time together. (I'm a bleeding-heart, what can I say?)
After a while she noticed that she was always the one getting drunk and high, and I could be around her sober without needing anything... I think having a friend who wasn't using may have been a catalyst for her to seek out treatment.
I never told her to go, but whenever she mentioned it I would encourage her...
All that to say that in a week she's coming home from rehab and I want to help her realise how much more there is than to just hang out and get drunk.
I've already asked her if she'd be interested in going to a museum, she said I didn't have to do anything for her. I wonder if that's more that she's depressed and doesn't feel she deserves for people to love her and make sure she's okay...
Any suggestions for activities I can do with her would be greatly appreciated.
We're coming in to winter soon, so it's getting cold... Picnics are kinda really out.
so her addiction was cocaine and alcohol right? How long she was in rehab, 3 months or more or less? I am asking this questions so to know better in what kind of physical state is she...i would suggest physical activities like ice skating , swimming pool and so on depends on where you live and what is on offer ... body activity brings happiness ( dopamine) and more active she is less time she will have to think about drugs. Worst possibile thing is to sit in house do nothing!
You are good friend I wish I have friend like you , and you are right having you leading "clean" life and still having fun it made her think about her own addiction and where is leading , probably she needed just little push to seek help and you provided just that. Hopefully she knows how lucky she is to have you around !
You are good friend I wish I have friend like you , and you are right having you leading "clean" life and still having fun it made her think about her own addiction and where is leading , probably she needed just little push to seek help and you provided just that. Hopefully she knows how lucky she is to have you around !
I am not sure if my advice is good because I have never been in either situation. I think the main things to avoid would be situations that trigger her using such as parties, hanging around people she used with before, concerts, and winter could be bad just sitting around doing nothing. I believe that addiction is a lifestyle change and it is necessary to change behavior and choices. Maybe if she got a new job she likes it would motivate her to stay sober and keep her busy. New friends might be helpful. She has to want the change for anything to be successful. You are a good friend and doing fun things with her will help keep active. Maybe you could go to AA meetings with her.
Offer to go to "open" AA/NA meetings with her - regularly. You join Al-Anon.
Rehab isn't the end to recovery, it is a bare beginning of a lifetime process.
A lifetime process for you both.....
All the best.
Bob R
Rehab isn't the end to recovery, it is a bare beginning of a lifetime process.
A lifetime process for you both.....
All the best.
Bob R
Agree w PB.....and maybe read what not to do...it's on here somewhere....you can't prevent us from using if we want to...you cant control it. ..trying to...at least for me....becomes annoying...intrusive...and exasperating . I will use then just to get it over with and whoever is trying to babysit me...off my back...if I want to stay clean...won't matter what or where we go...same with if I decide to use...it's up to her...there's really nothing you can do about it...it shouldn't be a topic unless she wants it to be...
