I have posted 2 other times here and have received no response (different question and issues), they say 3rd times the charm.
When the injection site is black how recent is it? Please.
Hey Jen,
It depends on lots of variables and also every person bruises differently. Is it a bruise? How big is it? This is how my bruises go: First they go purple/black, (Can be instant or take about a day to show) Then It quickley (1- 2 days) fades to blue which usually lingers the longest, then shrinks and fades out in pinks and yellows. well thats me anyway. I had to get a blood test at the doctor a week ago, it was purple within an hour and stayed like that for 2 days, blue for 3 and then just disappeared. It was real small though.
Hope that helps, probably not, but hey it was worth a shot,
Take care
nzchick
It depends on lots of variables and also every person bruises differently. Is it a bruise? How big is it? This is how my bruises go: First they go purple/black, (Can be instant or take about a day to show) Then It quickley (1- 2 days) fades to blue which usually lingers the longest, then shrinks and fades out in pinks and yellows. well thats me anyway. I had to get a blood test at the doctor a week ago, it was purple within an hour and stayed like that for 2 days, blue for 3 and then just disappeared. It was real small though.
Hope that helps, probably not, but hey it was worth a shot,
Take care
nzchick
Thank you so very much for replying and so quickly. What would you say would likely be the longest time it could have been since the injection with the black color?
I would say it is a little larger a round than a pencil eraser.. I didn't look that closely, just caught a glimpse (it is a friend of mine). I like to be sure before I confront and because I know he will lie this time I want to get an idea of time frame so I might be able to rebut the lie.
I would say it is a little larger a round than a pencil eraser.. I didn't look that closely, just caught a glimpse (it is a friend of mine). I like to be sure before I confront and because I know he will lie this time I want to get an idea of time frame so I might be able to rebut the lie.
Hey Jen, not a problem. It does not stay black for more then 2 days usually (unless you use again in the same spot of course) and it can either show immediately or a day later so I 'd say max 3 day, most likely 2? this is what I have noticed for me, as I said everyone is different, but we can't all be that different can we? I dunno. I think also cause it is small it should change colour quicker because the smaller a bruise, cut , scratch whatever is the faster it heals usually. Some people bruise easily and some don't. sometimes there isn't even a mark to show that a person has used. A regular user who is injecting into the veins on their arms will often have multiple bruises, or if they always use the same spot the bruising/scar tissue etc are pretty hard to disguise. Make up helped, but if the lighting was too bright you could see the make up.
Who is the friend? Are you close? Are you worried he is using regularly or that he has even used? Feel free to ask away, if you tell me a bit more about the situation I might be able to give some advice as to how to approach the situation.
Hope things work out
hugs
nzchick
Who is the friend? Are you close? Are you worried he is using regularly or that he has even used? Feel free to ask away, if you tell me a bit more about the situation I might be able to give some advice as to how to approach the situation.
Hope things work out
hugs
nzchick
Thank you, I really appreciate you willingness to help below is my original post copied and pasted (some background).
It has been almost 1yr since I found out a friend of mine is a heroin addict. At the time he was clean and had been for @ 8months having just come out of the most recent of many programs he had been in over the last several years. I had only seen the effects of this drug once in my life and from a fair distance so I was not familiar. I just knew that what I had seen this one time was the saddest, ugliest thing I had ever seen in my life. So when my friend told me I cried. It didn't change my friendship to him in the least, however. We just continued on. This was in October (my birthday to be exact) of 2003.
In mid December he e-mailed me at work that he had a real depressive spirit overcome him after I had left his house the night before. This is when he began back on that downward spiral. At the time I did not know it, I just knew that there was something wrong and it kept getting worse. He was changing, becoming more and more withdrawn, angry, hurtful, etc. This is when he began to "borrow" money.
As I said before I had no knowledge or understanding of anything having to do with this drug or the addiction. I have always been a fair person and don't like to make accusations without knowing what I am talking about. I began reading everything I could and talking to everyone I could find that would listen to try and gain some knowledge and understanding as to what I was up against.
I continued to endure his pushing me away and kept coming back as strong as I could attempting to be encouraging and expressing my love and concern. I finally told him in late January that I knew, he denied it and got angry with me. I decided to give him @ 2weeks to come clean with me. I knew that one of his biggest fears was for his parents to find out but, I knew that I could not continue with this knowledge, stand back and watch him kill himself. He is so much better than this drug.
Early February he did. He had begun the 21 day detox at the methadone clinic. He needed my help he couldn't afford to pay the program. Detox failed before it was completed.
I encouraged the maintainance program as I prefered this over him shooting up. He agreed and has been on it since March of this year. He continued to use. Sometime in May he began not using for a bit. He moved in with me in June (as he had used his way out of his apartment).
He remained clean for awhile (or maybe only chipping so not as obvious). He began to lie and steal again. He had always said to me that this is something he has to go through on his own. He needed to do it his way. I let him because I knew that if I pushed to hard I would not be able to be there for him at all.
Last week, I smelled something in my house, (guess) I debated as to what to do. I myself started to feel funny and got scared (I have never used heroin) I went into the room to find him past out with his little goods by his side. I made the terrible mistake of staying in the room and had a horrible reaction to my exposure. I was horrified. This was it. I have a 5 year old who sleeps in the room next to him and she could not be exposed to this and I have no desire myself to be high or ever experience what I did again.
I told him that it was time, that his way does not work and it is time to make a change. If he really wants to be free of this demon something has got to give. I have put up with the lying, the stealing, the emotional abuse and supported him financially giving my trust when not really justified for far too long. I need him to be accountable to me. I will help him beat this thing but, he has to fight.
I apologize for my rambling I was looking for some stories of hope the other night as I know he is not willing to go back into a program at this time. (I think it is possible for him to do it without, provided the necessary support system is in place). Anyway I stumbled upon this site and I read and cried and cried and read some more. It is so heartbreaking the effects this demon has on everyone involved. I am interested in any advice I can get. I am curious about the different drugs I have been reading about that are used instead of methadone. (Sub, Naltrexone?, etc.)
Thank you
Jen
top of page
jengood Posted: September 6, 2004, 10:44 PM
Posts: 8
Joined: September 6, 2004
How about if I ask specific questions?
Is there anyone here or does anyone here know or know of anyone that has been successful in overcoming heroin addiction long term (life long even)? Is that a realistic goal to set? Realistic expectation?
I would like to understand "triggers".
If I think of more specifics I will post, I guess.
______________________________________________________________
As for now, last night I saw the black mark on his arm and a few hours later I asked him about it He says I swear I haven't used since the last time. That sounds super silly, like duh!! He was referring to the night he smoked in the house. You can drug test me, I'm clean... You can search my things I through everything away after that. He says I know you probably don't believe me, I know there are trust issues. And then the conversation turns to somehow I am guilty of something, cruel tones and hurtful words (last night was mild compared to other times). I don't believe he hasn't used since that one night.
Throughout I have continued to forgiving and understanding of the nature of this evil beast called Heroin, doing my best to strengthen and support and encourage him where it weakens him the most. I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is nothing even remotely easy about overcoming this addiction. I am not an angry or resentful loved one and read others stories and they are telling mine but, I just don't carry or even feel the anger and I have never shown him anger through all of the lies, stealing, hurt, etc. (This has always surprised him since that has not been what his past experiences have been).
Besides it is not in my nature to be that way, I just believe that being a Heroin addict, and certainly trying to beat this devil is more than difficult enough, how am I helping him by making him feel more shame, guilt and self loathing.
Each time he has lied and stolen and I found out, the worst of it is my making him acknowledge it, just admit it.
I have to take my daughter to school right now. Thank you again for your willingness to help. I really need it right now.
It has been almost 1yr since I found out a friend of mine is a heroin addict. At the time he was clean and had been for @ 8months having just come out of the most recent of many programs he had been in over the last several years. I had only seen the effects of this drug once in my life and from a fair distance so I was not familiar. I just knew that what I had seen this one time was the saddest, ugliest thing I had ever seen in my life. So when my friend told me I cried. It didn't change my friendship to him in the least, however. We just continued on. This was in October (my birthday to be exact) of 2003.
In mid December he e-mailed me at work that he had a real depressive spirit overcome him after I had left his house the night before. This is when he began back on that downward spiral. At the time I did not know it, I just knew that there was something wrong and it kept getting worse. He was changing, becoming more and more withdrawn, angry, hurtful, etc. This is when he began to "borrow" money.
As I said before I had no knowledge or understanding of anything having to do with this drug or the addiction. I have always been a fair person and don't like to make accusations without knowing what I am talking about. I began reading everything I could and talking to everyone I could find that would listen to try and gain some knowledge and understanding as to what I was up against.
I continued to endure his pushing me away and kept coming back as strong as I could attempting to be encouraging and expressing my love and concern. I finally told him in late January that I knew, he denied it and got angry with me. I decided to give him @ 2weeks to come clean with me. I knew that one of his biggest fears was for his parents to find out but, I knew that I could not continue with this knowledge, stand back and watch him kill himself. He is so much better than this drug.
Early February he did. He had begun the 21 day detox at the methadone clinic. He needed my help he couldn't afford to pay the program. Detox failed before it was completed.
I encouraged the maintainance program as I prefered this over him shooting up. He agreed and has been on it since March of this year. He continued to use. Sometime in May he began not using for a bit. He moved in with me in June (as he had used his way out of his apartment).
He remained clean for awhile (or maybe only chipping so not as obvious). He began to lie and steal again. He had always said to me that this is something he has to go through on his own. He needed to do it his way. I let him because I knew that if I pushed to hard I would not be able to be there for him at all.
Last week, I smelled something in my house, (guess) I debated as to what to do. I myself started to feel funny and got scared (I have never used heroin) I went into the room to find him past out with his little goods by his side. I made the terrible mistake of staying in the room and had a horrible reaction to my exposure. I was horrified. This was it. I have a 5 year old who sleeps in the room next to him and she could not be exposed to this and I have no desire myself to be high or ever experience what I did again.
I told him that it was time, that his way does not work and it is time to make a change. If he really wants to be free of this demon something has got to give. I have put up with the lying, the stealing, the emotional abuse and supported him financially giving my trust when not really justified for far too long. I need him to be accountable to me. I will help him beat this thing but, he has to fight.
I apologize for my rambling I was looking for some stories of hope the other night as I know he is not willing to go back into a program at this time. (I think it is possible for him to do it without, provided the necessary support system is in place). Anyway I stumbled upon this site and I read and cried and cried and read some more. It is so heartbreaking the effects this demon has on everyone involved. I am interested in any advice I can get. I am curious about the different drugs I have been reading about that are used instead of methadone. (Sub, Naltrexone?, etc.)
Thank you
Jen
top of page
jengood Posted: September 6, 2004, 10:44 PM
Posts: 8
Joined: September 6, 2004
How about if I ask specific questions?
Is there anyone here or does anyone here know or know of anyone that has been successful in overcoming heroin addiction long term (life long even)? Is that a realistic goal to set? Realistic expectation?
I would like to understand "triggers".
If I think of more specifics I will post, I guess.
______________________________________________________________
As for now, last night I saw the black mark on his arm and a few hours later I asked him about it He says I swear I haven't used since the last time. That sounds super silly, like duh!! He was referring to the night he smoked in the house. You can drug test me, I'm clean... You can search my things I through everything away after that. He says I know you probably don't believe me, I know there are trust issues. And then the conversation turns to somehow I am guilty of something, cruel tones and hurtful words (last night was mild compared to other times). I don't believe he hasn't used since that one night.
Throughout I have continued to forgiving and understanding of the nature of this evil beast called Heroin, doing my best to strengthen and support and encourage him where it weakens him the most. I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is nothing even remotely easy about overcoming this addiction. I am not an angry or resentful loved one and read others stories and they are telling mine but, I just don't carry or even feel the anger and I have never shown him anger through all of the lies, stealing, hurt, etc. (This has always surprised him since that has not been what his past experiences have been).
Besides it is not in my nature to be that way, I just believe that being a Heroin addict, and certainly trying to beat this devil is more than difficult enough, how am I helping him by making him feel more shame, guilt and self loathing.
Each time he has lied and stolen and I found out, the worst of it is my making him acknowledge it, just admit it.
I have to take my daughter to school right now. Thank you again for your willingness to help. I really need it right now.
Hi Jen
It looks like we have pretty similar situations and I've just been reading posts this past week to try and find some answers and just posted myself under "Dealing with Addict Boyfriend". I have no clue how to deal with this or understand. My BF at this point is very open with me about it, but reading some of the posts, I'm afraid of that not lasting. It has actually put more worry into me than before I read them. However, I'm still looking for answers as I am not willing to give up on him. I have not experienced him withdrawing or pushing away, mood swings or anything like that and he doesn't use the needle. How, after 10 years of using H, he has never done that I'm starting to find remarkable after what I've been reading. I don't know if that makes it any better or not. I also wish there were more telltale signs since he doesn't use the needle. I swear I just can't tell if he's been using more one day than the next (he's trying to do a taper off program for himself).
Anyway it helps to know other people in the same situation as sad as that is.
If you find any answers or ideas, let me know.
Good luck with everything and I hope it turns out!
Thanks
It looks like we have pretty similar situations and I've just been reading posts this past week to try and find some answers and just posted myself under "Dealing with Addict Boyfriend". I have no clue how to deal with this or understand. My BF at this point is very open with me about it, but reading some of the posts, I'm afraid of that not lasting. It has actually put more worry into me than before I read them. However, I'm still looking for answers as I am not willing to give up on him. I have not experienced him withdrawing or pushing away, mood swings or anything like that and he doesn't use the needle. How, after 10 years of using H, he has never done that I'm starting to find remarkable after what I've been reading. I don't know if that makes it any better or not. I also wish there were more telltale signs since he doesn't use the needle. I swear I just can't tell if he's been using more one day than the next (he's trying to do a taper off program for himself).
Anyway it helps to know other people in the same situation as sad as that is.
If you find any answers or ideas, let me know.
Good luck with everything and I hope it turns out!
Thanks
Hey Jen,
It sounds like you have been an amazing girlfriend and I am sure he wants to quit for you but he needs to want to quit for himself. When you chat with him I suggest you be as non confrontational as you can, because he knows he is wrong he will already be on the defensive, (as you saw the other night when he turned the tables on you.) Tell him how much yo love him, tell him how much you care about him, tell him how much it hurts you, tell him how much you worry about him but tell him that you also have to put your daughter first. Is there any chance you can both move somewhere new? That is the only way I managed to quit heroin, moved to a place where I couldn't get it and it wasn't till I had 3 months off it & used again that I could see that it wasn't worth all the s*** it had put my life through. Below is a post I read on the "Once they go IV do they ever come back?" post. I thought it was really insightful advice and you might get some help from it. Alot of it has no relevance to your situation but the type of approach does. Let me know how it goes and if you have any more questions feel free to ask.
Hope it works out for you both,
hugs
nzchick
............................................................................
My name is Garry. I have been on drugs for forty years. I have seen it all, been there and have done it all more than once. Your letter got my attention. And what I am going to say will be something you will not want to hear or want to accept. But I will try to help you.
The truth about a junkie is once a junky always a junky. Her addiction will not stop unless a few things happen first. 1. She overdoses and it kills her. 2. She'll go to prison 3. She cleans up
Right now she is young enough that just maybe, and I mean just maybe you can save her life. I mean this when I say "save her life".
I am willing to bet all I have that she is following her boy friend. That she is so deeply in love with her boy friend that she will follow everything he tells her to do. And this includes using drugs. I have a question for you. Does he have money? How does he take care of himself? Sooner or later he will spend all the money. Sooner or later your sister will come to you wanting to borrow some money. She will go to all the family members looking for a hand out. And if you all freeze up on her then you better add a few pad locks to all your valuables. Because your sweet sister will turn into the worse thing you have heard about on t.v., on the radio, and in the newspapers. As you read this there is a monster growing in her every day. Everyday it will get bolder and crazier.
I can only tell you what I know from experience. You mentioned she is very attractive. This means she could bring in a lot of cash doing prono flicks. Or working the streets. Hey, I said you will not like what I was going to say and now it's time to face the truth. You asked and you found a person who will tell you what IS going to happen, one way or another. One of the above will happen.
Heroin isn't a drug, it's the devils hi. It is so addictive. It is so sweet, it is so good that once you try it, you could get caught up in it fast. Here is what's funny. In most cases the first time you use it, you will get sick. You will throw up all day long and feel like crap. But deep inside you will be feeling this certain hi feeling that feels pretty good. After coming down in most cases as long as nobody is around to get you to try it again, people walk away from it never to use it again. But if you have a junkie around you then the junkie will push, shove, and create a reason to get some more. And then you will use it again, the monster is born. It engulfs your mind. Your reasoning part of the brain is blocked off from common sense. This is the devils drug. He certainly knew what he was doing when he gave it to man.
Question you must be wondering about right now is this. How do you save your sister? First of all, just how far has she gone? How much has her lover taken her through? Has she done things she may never want to reveal that now huants her.
She needs to get away from the boy friend and that my friend isn't going to be easy. She will fight you all the way. She will hate you, all of you if you even try to break them up. And then she may even run away from you with him. So I ask again, how much money does the boy friend really have? Is he rich? If so this will cause a big problem.
For starters call her up and ask her to spend a few hours with you. Remember that a junkie avreages a fix every four hours. Some can go longer while others are sooner depending on the strenght of the addiction.
*****When you have her with you what ever you do, don't start on her. DOn't start preaching to her or she will just turn and run from you. The preaching will come in later. OK.
Take her to your place or mom's and some how bring up the old family pictures. Times before she met the boy friend. Talk about how much fun you all had and how much you wish it was like this again.
The idea behind this in my opinon is to get her to think about how good life can really be. That she once had a part of it. And how much FUN it was back then. Talk about other boyfriends, talk about christmas times and so on. But do not talk about the life she has now UNLESS she wants too. And then just listen to her. Don't start preaching to her or you will blow it. Let her tell you what she wants and what she needs.
If by some chance she decides to want a change in her life then first of all be real about all of this. Just how strung out is she? Just how much is she using? How does she use it? By needle, oral, smokes it, or what ever.
The only people that can help her is herself. You, mom, dad, and other family members can do nothing at this point except embrace her and assure her you are there for her. She has to enter into a detox center. She will have to dry out or she can go to a methodone clinic for treatment which is expensive. *****
There will be lots of other people who will read this letter I just wrote. Some will say I am wrong. Some will say I am right. I do not know the proper way to attack this problem but I have done this so many times that if I had a dollar for each attempt I'd be rich today. This whole mess is ugly and very dangerous. But all in all, You need to save her now while she is still young enough to recover.
Her boyfriend will be at the door the very first second he even thinks your trying to save her. At first tell him he is wrong. That he is just imagining all this. That you respect him, blah, blah, blah. You can not have him putting thoughts in to her head. OK Act like his friend for now. If he comes to you saying he wants to clean up then tell him great. Suggest a detox clinic. Chances are he will not go in. Your sister is his ticket later on down the road. If she isn't on the streets yet selling herself for drugs yet then you still have a good chance to save her. But you will have the boyfriend in your way the whole time. And if you try to seperate them at first then you will lose.
Good luck. Your going to need it. I will be happy to help you as much as I can. Just remember that I am a junkie myself. There are to many of us out here already and even more in the prisons. I couldn't tell you how many more that I have died. My email address is: g f m 0 0 1 @ a o l My name is Garry
It sounds like you have been an amazing girlfriend and I am sure he wants to quit for you but he needs to want to quit for himself. When you chat with him I suggest you be as non confrontational as you can, because he knows he is wrong he will already be on the defensive, (as you saw the other night when he turned the tables on you.) Tell him how much yo love him, tell him how much you care about him, tell him how much it hurts you, tell him how much you worry about him but tell him that you also have to put your daughter first. Is there any chance you can both move somewhere new? That is the only way I managed to quit heroin, moved to a place where I couldn't get it and it wasn't till I had 3 months off it & used again that I could see that it wasn't worth all the s*** it had put my life through. Below is a post I read on the "Once they go IV do they ever come back?" post. I thought it was really insightful advice and you might get some help from it. Alot of it has no relevance to your situation but the type of approach does. Let me know how it goes and if you have any more questions feel free to ask.
Hope it works out for you both,
hugs
nzchick
............................................................................
My name is Garry. I have been on drugs for forty years. I have seen it all, been there and have done it all more than once. Your letter got my attention. And what I am going to say will be something you will not want to hear or want to accept. But I will try to help you.
The truth about a junkie is once a junky always a junky. Her addiction will not stop unless a few things happen first. 1. She overdoses and it kills her. 2. She'll go to prison 3. She cleans up
Right now she is young enough that just maybe, and I mean just maybe you can save her life. I mean this when I say "save her life".
I am willing to bet all I have that she is following her boy friend. That she is so deeply in love with her boy friend that she will follow everything he tells her to do. And this includes using drugs. I have a question for you. Does he have money? How does he take care of himself? Sooner or later he will spend all the money. Sooner or later your sister will come to you wanting to borrow some money. She will go to all the family members looking for a hand out. And if you all freeze up on her then you better add a few pad locks to all your valuables. Because your sweet sister will turn into the worse thing you have heard about on t.v., on the radio, and in the newspapers. As you read this there is a monster growing in her every day. Everyday it will get bolder and crazier.
I can only tell you what I know from experience. You mentioned she is very attractive. This means she could bring in a lot of cash doing prono flicks. Or working the streets. Hey, I said you will not like what I was going to say and now it's time to face the truth. You asked and you found a person who will tell you what IS going to happen, one way or another. One of the above will happen.
Heroin isn't a drug, it's the devils hi. It is so addictive. It is so sweet, it is so good that once you try it, you could get caught up in it fast. Here is what's funny. In most cases the first time you use it, you will get sick. You will throw up all day long and feel like crap. But deep inside you will be feeling this certain hi feeling that feels pretty good. After coming down in most cases as long as nobody is around to get you to try it again, people walk away from it never to use it again. But if you have a junkie around you then the junkie will push, shove, and create a reason to get some more. And then you will use it again, the monster is born. It engulfs your mind. Your reasoning part of the brain is blocked off from common sense. This is the devils drug. He certainly knew what he was doing when he gave it to man.
Question you must be wondering about right now is this. How do you save your sister? First of all, just how far has she gone? How much has her lover taken her through? Has she done things she may never want to reveal that now huants her.
She needs to get away from the boy friend and that my friend isn't going to be easy. She will fight you all the way. She will hate you, all of you if you even try to break them up. And then she may even run away from you with him. So I ask again, how much money does the boy friend really have? Is he rich? If so this will cause a big problem.
For starters call her up and ask her to spend a few hours with you. Remember that a junkie avreages a fix every four hours. Some can go longer while others are sooner depending on the strenght of the addiction.
*****When you have her with you what ever you do, don't start on her. DOn't start preaching to her or she will just turn and run from you. The preaching will come in later. OK.
Take her to your place or mom's and some how bring up the old family pictures. Times before she met the boy friend. Talk about how much fun you all had and how much you wish it was like this again.
The idea behind this in my opinon is to get her to think about how good life can really be. That she once had a part of it. And how much FUN it was back then. Talk about other boyfriends, talk about christmas times and so on. But do not talk about the life she has now UNLESS she wants too. And then just listen to her. Don't start preaching to her or you will blow it. Let her tell you what she wants and what she needs.
If by some chance she decides to want a change in her life then first of all be real about all of this. Just how strung out is she? Just how much is she using? How does she use it? By needle, oral, smokes it, or what ever.
The only people that can help her is herself. You, mom, dad, and other family members can do nothing at this point except embrace her and assure her you are there for her. She has to enter into a detox center. She will have to dry out or she can go to a methodone clinic for treatment which is expensive. *****
There will be lots of other people who will read this letter I just wrote. Some will say I am wrong. Some will say I am right. I do not know the proper way to attack this problem but I have done this so many times that if I had a dollar for each attempt I'd be rich today. This whole mess is ugly and very dangerous. But all in all, You need to save her now while she is still young enough to recover.
Her boyfriend will be at the door the very first second he even thinks your trying to save her. At first tell him he is wrong. That he is just imagining all this. That you respect him, blah, blah, blah. You can not have him putting thoughts in to her head. OK Act like his friend for now. If he comes to you saying he wants to clean up then tell him great. Suggest a detox clinic. Chances are he will not go in. Your sister is his ticket later on down the road. If she isn't on the streets yet selling herself for drugs yet then you still have a good chance to save her. But you will have the boyfriend in your way the whole time. And if you try to seperate them at first then you will lose.
Good luck. Your going to need it. I will be happy to help you as much as I can. Just remember that I am a junkie myself. There are to many of us out here already and even more in the prisons. I couldn't tell you how many more that I have died. My email address is: g f m 0 0 1 @ a o l My name is Garry
I never would bruise. But if this area that is black, looks like its burned, or cauterized, stop shooing there immedately. Go to the doctor. Most of the times abcesses can be fixed by massage, and hot hot hot water. But if it looks black and scabby, you need antibiotics, and a different vein...
Thank you charmed so much.... I can't tell you how much I truly appreciate your help. Sorry for the delay in responding, I have been struggling the last few days or so, just being so emotionally drained by all that has been going on the last almost year, kind of just snuck up on me. I think alot of it really had to do with this last time I confronted him about the black mark. I was for the first time really and truly hurt by his responses, tone, etc.
He of course has always lied, become extremely defensive and even mean, hurtful and cruel. I have never been okay with this but, have never really taken it to heart as I always know why he is being that way. This time was just different, it really hurt and I told him so.
Things appear to possibly be on the upswing though (At least I am trying to be very optimistic), he has been working on coming up with ways to really be more agressive in his recovery. I have never felt as good about any other plan as I do this current one. Nor has anything ever been as detailed and involved so we will see.
I should clear up on thing, he is just my friend. I do love him dearly however, and would very much like to see him break free from this demon. I know he really does want to stop. If I didn't believe this to be true I would not have stayed active in his life.
You said that you were clean for 3 months before using again after having moved, Are you clean now or are you still using? If you don't mind me asking...
Thanks again for your help.
And thanks for pasting that from Gary.
Jen
He of course has always lied, become extremely defensive and even mean, hurtful and cruel. I have never been okay with this but, have never really taken it to heart as I always know why he is being that way. This time was just different, it really hurt and I told him so.
Things appear to possibly be on the upswing though (At least I am trying to be very optimistic), he has been working on coming up with ways to really be more agressive in his recovery. I have never felt as good about any other plan as I do this current one. Nor has anything ever been as detailed and involved so we will see.
I should clear up on thing, he is just my friend. I do love him dearly however, and would very much like to see him break free from this demon. I know he really does want to stop. If I didn't believe this to be true I would not have stayed active in his life.
You said that you were clean for 3 months before using again after having moved, Are you clean now or are you still using? If you don't mind me asking...
Thanks again for your help.
And thanks for pasting that from Gary.
Jen
Aron,
He did actually have an abcess at that particular spot about 1-2 months back. I do appreciate the info on how to resolve abcess. As well as what to look for to be concerned beyond that.
Thanks,
Jen
He did actually have an abcess at that particular spot about 1-2 months back. I do appreciate the info on how to resolve abcess. As well as what to look for to be concerned beyond that.
Thanks,
Jen
Beating an opiate / Heroin addiction is a massive challenge for any person, someone asked the question 'does anyone know of someone who has beat the addiction...It can be done but it is a long and slow process to begin with, the easy bit for me really was doing the 'cold turkey', don't get me wrong Im not saying an opiate withdrawal is easy but the real struggle comes in "staying off".
I had an heroin addiction for 7 years, it caused chaos in my life and in the life of others, I would steal from just about anyone and spend every penny I got on heroin, I ended up in prison and really thought that something major had to change in my life, because at this point I had burned all my bridges with family and friends.
I made the decision to walk away from this lifestyle which was a living hell.
I had hurt so many people, family, friends the guilt was unbarable and hard to deal with, it is part and parcel of the healing process, when I gave heroin up, all my emotions, feelings and senses came back, and to wake up in the cold light of day and realise that I had been sticking needles in my arm etc was the reality check that I needed.
I felt ashamed and confused, not quite in touch with the world I had left for heroin 7 years earlier.
I became determined to sort my act out and rebuild the bridges I had burned, I began by occupying my mind on setting a goal which would be a massive challenge, when giving up any substance especially heroin you are also giving up a 'lifestyle', something you have been accustomed to for maybe best part of a decade or longer; the important part is filling the gap with something else.
Sadly, some people fill the gap with another substance, usually alcohol and then they end up with a serious alcohol problem, others simply choose another drug.
It is no easy feat to make major changes in a lifestyle, its a bit like starting from scratch, it is also important to put something back into the community, regain self esteem, and to forgive yourself.
I left prison and filled the massive gap in my life by going to college to gain some qualifications, my goal was firmly set and I focussed all my time and energies on this, I was interested in helping others who had substance misuse problems.
I enrolled at Calderdale College on the introduction to counselling course and eventually the Higher National Diploma in Counselling, I wanted to develop a project aimed specifically at those who were being released from prison and had drug dependency issues.
I was approved for funding from Drug Scope and arranged for meetings with the Drug Action Team Coordinator for Calderdale, who liked the idea.
Eventually I instead secured a post with the main and local drug services as a triage worker in an open access service, I love my job and I love life, I have been clean now for nearly 5 years.
I am currently at Huddersfield University studying for an advanced Cert in practitioner skills in substance misuse management, the exam of which I sit next week, I now have a car a mortgage and take care of my daughter I have simply never been happier, my family, friends, and others are extremely proud of the achievements I have made and that is a reward second to none for me.
The point I am making for all those out there that really wanna change is that it can be done and it is rewarding, think what would happen if you channelled all your energies, resourcefullness, and determination elsewhere, instead of using it to score the next bag.
It is a long journey but you must have the courage to do the walking, and you need to be hungry for change.
Many people believe that if there isnt a reason for coming off heroin they why should they? No purpose, no reason, discriminated against, possibly homeless, and lots of reasons which do nothing to help the self esteem.
The reality is all these things can be overcome and the key is: "find a purpose"
focus on a goal and go for it!
It is also important to put something back into the community, ie voluntary work is always a good start and college was a great help to me too, you will meet a different social network, and begin to take an interest in life.I actually feel that I am a member of the community serving a valued purpose, I have simply never felt happier.
I am liberated from a substance which controlled my life and every thought, it was simply my life blood, I now see it as an affair which went terribly wrong, and that is in the past, my long term goals are to make a positive difference in drug treatment and substance misuse services.
I am also looking at writing a book within the next 3 years my life is now an adventurous journey which I am enjoying to the full...I wish all those who read this wiould be able to take something from this article for the benefit of someone who has a heroin problem.
Finally for those who are trying to give up, remember that a relapse is part of the recovery journey, good luck & best wishes Keith...
I had an heroin addiction for 7 years, it caused chaos in my life and in the life of others, I would steal from just about anyone and spend every penny I got on heroin, I ended up in prison and really thought that something major had to change in my life, because at this point I had burned all my bridges with family and friends.
I made the decision to walk away from this lifestyle which was a living hell.
I had hurt so many people, family, friends the guilt was unbarable and hard to deal with, it is part and parcel of the healing process, when I gave heroin up, all my emotions, feelings and senses came back, and to wake up in the cold light of day and realise that I had been sticking needles in my arm etc was the reality check that I needed.
I felt ashamed and confused, not quite in touch with the world I had left for heroin 7 years earlier.
I became determined to sort my act out and rebuild the bridges I had burned, I began by occupying my mind on setting a goal which would be a massive challenge, when giving up any substance especially heroin you are also giving up a 'lifestyle', something you have been accustomed to for maybe best part of a decade or longer; the important part is filling the gap with something else.
Sadly, some people fill the gap with another substance, usually alcohol and then they end up with a serious alcohol problem, others simply choose another drug.
It is no easy feat to make major changes in a lifestyle, its a bit like starting from scratch, it is also important to put something back into the community, regain self esteem, and to forgive yourself.
I left prison and filled the massive gap in my life by going to college to gain some qualifications, my goal was firmly set and I focussed all my time and energies on this, I was interested in helping others who had substance misuse problems.
I enrolled at Calderdale College on the introduction to counselling course and eventually the Higher National Diploma in Counselling, I wanted to develop a project aimed specifically at those who were being released from prison and had drug dependency issues.
I was approved for funding from Drug Scope and arranged for meetings with the Drug Action Team Coordinator for Calderdale, who liked the idea.
Eventually I instead secured a post with the main and local drug services as a triage worker in an open access service, I love my job and I love life, I have been clean now for nearly 5 years.
I am currently at Huddersfield University studying for an advanced Cert in practitioner skills in substance misuse management, the exam of which I sit next week, I now have a car a mortgage and take care of my daughter I have simply never been happier, my family, friends, and others are extremely proud of the achievements I have made and that is a reward second to none for me.
The point I am making for all those out there that really wanna change is that it can be done and it is rewarding, think what would happen if you channelled all your energies, resourcefullness, and determination elsewhere, instead of using it to score the next bag.
It is a long journey but you must have the courage to do the walking, and you need to be hungry for change.
Many people believe that if there isnt a reason for coming off heroin they why should they? No purpose, no reason, discriminated against, possibly homeless, and lots of reasons which do nothing to help the self esteem.
The reality is all these things can be overcome and the key is: "find a purpose"
focus on a goal and go for it!
It is also important to put something back into the community, ie voluntary work is always a good start and college was a great help to me too, you will meet a different social network, and begin to take an interest in life.I actually feel that I am a member of the community serving a valued purpose, I have simply never felt happier.
I am liberated from a substance which controlled my life and every thought, it was simply my life blood, I now see it as an affair which went terribly wrong, and that is in the past, my long term goals are to make a positive difference in drug treatment and substance misuse services.
I am also looking at writing a book within the next 3 years my life is now an adventurous journey which I am enjoying to the full...I wish all those who read this wiould be able to take something from this article for the benefit of someone who has a heroin problem.
Finally for those who are trying to give up, remember that a relapse is part of the recovery journey, good luck & best wishes Keith...
Hey Jen,
What wondrerful news that he has an aggressive plan for recovery, I hope it all works out for the both of you. sorry for assuming he was your boyfriend, I must have mis-read something. How did you approach him? I am glad I could be of some help. What does his new plan entail? Please keep me updated!
This is my story, sorry it is kinda long, and is actually extremely brief compared to all the s*** I have actually been through, but I guess thats why I am writitng a whole book! Take care.
charmed 1
My story:
I first tried heroin in 97, in the States with my boyfriend. It was just a party thing, along with ecstasy & coke. I'd only ever smoked pot before and had always considered all other drugs to be bad. It took a me a long time to even try anything else. My first E was the best night of my entire life, I'd been through depression and I didn't think it was possible to feel so happy.
The partying soon got out of control and along with a whole lot of other bad stuff going on in my life, decided to move back to NZ. I was back here for 6 months, smoked a bit of pot and tried acid once, but didn't crave or need anything to be happy, my life got back on track, working, gym, dieting, learning to enjoy my own company.
While I was back in NZ my boyfriend became a heroin addict but never told me. He proposed, I accepted and I moved back to America in 98 - 10 days before our wedding. The day after I arrived we went and got some, I thought it was just a treat cause I'd been clean of most stuff for so long, but daily use followed and one day I tried to stop and withdrawal start.
It was awful. We tried to quit so many times using so many different methods (including NA, Rehab, cold turkey, methadone programs) but together we were just not able to. I gave up heroin and my husband who I loved with all my heart and planned on being with forever, on the same day. I flew back to NZ with 80mgs of methadone for the trip.
I called him from a motel room in LA where I had a 24 hour stop over and told him I couldn't do it, I couldn't leave him. We both knew though that I had to leave and I truly believe that if I had stayed our addictions would have spiralled and one of us would probably be dead by now. That decision was a last resort, if there had been an easier one that worked for us, believe me I would have taken it.
Back in NZ I had no husband, no heroin, no good friends (all my school friends had either moved away or were or were travelling the world) no money, no job, no car. Thank God for my mum because I had her. I gave up almost everything to quit.
After I left my husband managed to quit cold turkey, he moved 6 hours away from where he lived and has now almost finished a degree in nursing.
I however replaced h with ecstasy and a bit of speed. Not every day, just weekends. My first 3 months back in NZ I craved heroin every second of every day, no-one would sell it to me, give it to me, show me where I could get it - NOTHING. Everyone over here was SO against heroin.
In the end I took to desperate measures and my best mate sent me some and I found a nice quite spot on the beach, sat down by the water and let myself drift away to that familiar oblivion that I had been craving so long for. As good as it was, sitting there looking out over the ocean; back in New Zealand with 3 months clean of it, I was finally able to see it from a different perspective. I still enjoyed it totally but I was like wow, this is great, but it is so not worth all the s*** it has put my life through over the past few years. As much as I already knew this as truth, my craving for heroin always rationalized it to be false. It felt like I had finally won the battle, the heroin battle anyway. The battle I was told that very few win.
It took about 5 months before my depression eased slightly and I was able to work full time. Worked 9 months as PA running 6 businesses for 2 local business men, did a great job and never took a day off, I still partied occasionally in the weekends but not every weekend.
For the last 3.5 years I have worked as top sales person for one of the largest companies in this country. The first year and a half I also worked in a night club, so I partied hard every weekend, but was able to keep it to that. Mostly ecstasy, but a bit of speed and GHB too. When that club closed I carried on with my weekend partying and top selling, and also started the casual use of 'P'
Then I was drug raped by my boyfriend. The first guy I had fallen for in 3 years, the first guy I thought I loved and could see a future with, after 3 years of not trusting anyone to get that close to me. We met intellectually, physically, emotionally. I was so happy.
We regularly drunk GHB together, and I trusted him totally to measure my dose for me, but he would give me way too much, on a regular basis, and while I was unconscious raped me in disgusting and degrading ways.
I first got suspicious about 3 months after we started seeing each other when I woke up with a bleeding a**. I didn't even suspect him at first, I just though some f***ed up thing must have been going on in my body. Went to the after hours Dr, she couldnt see anything wrong and said if i was still bleeding in a few days then I'd require a full internal examination by a specialist. She also said I probably just have haemorrhoids. I went to the pharmacy and got a brochure on haemorrhoids but had none of the symptoms.
Later that night I started putting parts of the night together and it all added up to that, I had him up about it and he denied and I really didn't want to believe it cause I needed to believe he loved me.
4 months later, after already having a drink, we were half naked and about to....you know, when he offered me another drink. It was just really suspicious and because of last time I decided to test him. I pretended to drink it, little sips and topping it up with more juice. We carried on kissing then I pretended to pass out, I needed to know if had been doing this, and if so what? So I lay there while did and said the most degrading and disgusting things to me, until I couldnt take the pain anymore.
After that my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder set in and a whole lot of anxiety. I escaped from my reality with P, and am still escaping with it now, it takes me to a happy place where I don't need anyone, and if I do have be social I can. Without P, I'm back in my reality, and my x stripped me of all my self worth and it's not a happy place to be.
What wondrerful news that he has an aggressive plan for recovery, I hope it all works out for the both of you. sorry for assuming he was your boyfriend, I must have mis-read something. How did you approach him? I am glad I could be of some help. What does his new plan entail? Please keep me updated!
This is my story, sorry it is kinda long, and is actually extremely brief compared to all the s*** I have actually been through, but I guess thats why I am writitng a whole book! Take care.
charmed 1
My story:
I first tried heroin in 97, in the States with my boyfriend. It was just a party thing, along with ecstasy & coke. I'd only ever smoked pot before and had always considered all other drugs to be bad. It took a me a long time to even try anything else. My first E was the best night of my entire life, I'd been through depression and I didn't think it was possible to feel so happy.
The partying soon got out of control and along with a whole lot of other bad stuff going on in my life, decided to move back to NZ. I was back here for 6 months, smoked a bit of pot and tried acid once, but didn't crave or need anything to be happy, my life got back on track, working, gym, dieting, learning to enjoy my own company.
While I was back in NZ my boyfriend became a heroin addict but never told me. He proposed, I accepted and I moved back to America in 98 - 10 days before our wedding. The day after I arrived we went and got some, I thought it was just a treat cause I'd been clean of most stuff for so long, but daily use followed and one day I tried to stop and withdrawal start.
It was awful. We tried to quit so many times using so many different methods (including NA, Rehab, cold turkey, methadone programs) but together we were just not able to. I gave up heroin and my husband who I loved with all my heart and planned on being with forever, on the same day. I flew back to NZ with 80mgs of methadone for the trip.
I called him from a motel room in LA where I had a 24 hour stop over and told him I couldn't do it, I couldn't leave him. We both knew though that I had to leave and I truly believe that if I had stayed our addictions would have spiralled and one of us would probably be dead by now. That decision was a last resort, if there had been an easier one that worked for us, believe me I would have taken it.
Back in NZ I had no husband, no heroin, no good friends (all my school friends had either moved away or were or were travelling the world) no money, no job, no car. Thank God for my mum because I had her. I gave up almost everything to quit.
After I left my husband managed to quit cold turkey, he moved 6 hours away from where he lived and has now almost finished a degree in nursing.
I however replaced h with ecstasy and a bit of speed. Not every day, just weekends. My first 3 months back in NZ I craved heroin every second of every day, no-one would sell it to me, give it to me, show me where I could get it - NOTHING. Everyone over here was SO against heroin.
In the end I took to desperate measures and my best mate sent me some and I found a nice quite spot on the beach, sat down by the water and let myself drift away to that familiar oblivion that I had been craving so long for. As good as it was, sitting there looking out over the ocean; back in New Zealand with 3 months clean of it, I was finally able to see it from a different perspective. I still enjoyed it totally but I was like wow, this is great, but it is so not worth all the s*** it has put my life through over the past few years. As much as I already knew this as truth, my craving for heroin always rationalized it to be false. It felt like I had finally won the battle, the heroin battle anyway. The battle I was told that very few win.
It took about 5 months before my depression eased slightly and I was able to work full time. Worked 9 months as PA running 6 businesses for 2 local business men, did a great job and never took a day off, I still partied occasionally in the weekends but not every weekend.
For the last 3.5 years I have worked as top sales person for one of the largest companies in this country. The first year and a half I also worked in a night club, so I partied hard every weekend, but was able to keep it to that. Mostly ecstasy, but a bit of speed and GHB too. When that club closed I carried on with my weekend partying and top selling, and also started the casual use of 'P'
Then I was drug raped by my boyfriend. The first guy I had fallen for in 3 years, the first guy I thought I loved and could see a future with, after 3 years of not trusting anyone to get that close to me. We met intellectually, physically, emotionally. I was so happy.
We regularly drunk GHB together, and I trusted him totally to measure my dose for me, but he would give me way too much, on a regular basis, and while I was unconscious raped me in disgusting and degrading ways.
I first got suspicious about 3 months after we started seeing each other when I woke up with a bleeding a**. I didn't even suspect him at first, I just though some f***ed up thing must have been going on in my body. Went to the after hours Dr, she couldnt see anything wrong and said if i was still bleeding in a few days then I'd require a full internal examination by a specialist. She also said I probably just have haemorrhoids. I went to the pharmacy and got a brochure on haemorrhoids but had none of the symptoms.
Later that night I started putting parts of the night together and it all added up to that, I had him up about it and he denied and I really didn't want to believe it cause I needed to believe he loved me.
4 months later, after already having a drink, we were half naked and about to....you know, when he offered me another drink. It was just really suspicious and because of last time I decided to test him. I pretended to drink it, little sips and topping it up with more juice. We carried on kissing then I pretended to pass out, I needed to know if had been doing this, and if so what? So I lay there while did and said the most degrading and disgusting things to me, until I couldnt take the pain anymore.
After that my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder set in and a whole lot of anxiety. I escaped from my reality with P, and am still escaping with it now, it takes me to a happy place where I don't need anyone, and if I do have be social I can. Without P, I'm back in my reality, and my x stripped me of all my self worth and it's not a happy place to be.
Hi, to answer your question, I went for more like 5 months after moving, and not using. Ive gone into NYC maybe 4 or 5 times to get some. I would use for a couple days...Binge, I guess, and then when it was out, that was it. Last time I went in was early August, I think. its pretty under control.
