Hi everyone,
I'm just looking for help and some guidance. My boyfriend of six years has been a heroin addict for two years. He has overdosed twice.
Which I found him. Was in the hospital on a ventilator for three weeks. Stood clean for a few months and then went right back to it. I'm so exhausted from it all. I love him deeply but don't know what to do. I lost two patents to heroin addiction when I was a teenager and some say I'm trying to save him because I couldn't save my parents. I need help. This is sucking the life out of me. I so love him and just want and need him to be better.
Hi Faith. You lost both parents to heroin. You lived that nightmare. You can't choose your parents.
But you are choosing this? A boyfriend heroin addict.
My advice is to leave. Make a better choice.
Really????
I guess I don't understand how anyone would choose to stay with an addict spouse or boyfriend.
I'm a CPA not a doctor. But I don't understand this.
We can't pick our parents or children.
But we can pick our spouses.
Please break free from him stop wasting your life.
Break free, go enjoy your life. Say no to drama.
My life has significantly been better since I cut myself off from the chaos, drama,misery
That is my 29 year old heroin addict son. I love him but I deserve to be happy. Nothing I did for 14 years has helped. So I'm done. Finally done. Finally free. Finally have joy.
Joy peace a reason to smile every day.
But you are choosing this? A boyfriend heroin addict.
My advice is to leave. Make a better choice.
Really????
I guess I don't understand how anyone would choose to stay with an addict spouse or boyfriend.
I'm a CPA not a doctor. But I don't understand this.
We can't pick our parents or children.
But we can pick our spouses.
Please break free from him stop wasting your life.
Break free, go enjoy your life. Say no to drama.
My life has significantly been better since I cut myself off from the chaos, drama,misery
That is my 29 year old heroin addict son. I love him but I deserve to be happy. Nothing I did for 14 years has helped. So I'm done. Finally done. Finally free. Finally have joy.
Joy peace a reason to smile every day.
Thank you so much. I know I have to get out of this relationship but it's just so hard. I pray everyday for the strength to walk away. I just keep wishing he gets better and makes things right.
Hi, For 18 yrs I've been waiting and wanting my only child to get better and off drugs. I'm still waiting! My life has been in limbo for years! Some will say that's my own fault and I probably would agree with them. But it took a long time for me to swallow that spoonful of medicine that told me it's out of my hands!! Me helping her get better will never happen. She's the only one who can fix this if she wants it bad enough. Just like your boyfriend. This is out of your control! Only he can turn this around and he has to want it more than his drug of choice. It's a sad life if you pick this one and one you've lived through before with your parents. Sometimes you have to force yourself to think with your head and not with your heart. When you feel you don't have the strength to do something. Sometimes you just have to make yourself believe you do whether you like it or not! Mind over matter! It works I've done it! Nothing changes if nothing changes. Good luck. Mary.
faith, change takes time - for both of you. First, see if you can get to NarAnon or Alanon meetings. this will help you keep a perspective in mind, and give you real people to talk to. They will have suggestions and you will have people to be accountable to, to share your victories and defeats.
Second, You dont have to say or do anything in a big way, right away.
NarAnon and Alanon are there for YOU to help YOU take care of yourself. Begin to detach from your boyfriend. You want to 'see' a clear path for yourself and when it is appropriate tell him that he can be with you or he can be with the drugs. Start thinking about how you want YOUR life to look. Us enablers have to get to OUR bottom too. we need to get to the point where we are saying, "These are my rules. Either live with me or without me". You need to feel like saving yourself is your priority. Give yourself some goals: In one month ---- , In two months ---- and so on. The best thing is to live apart and tell him you will see him when he is not high.
Read these postings on the Family Board: Ways Family Members can Help, What Not to do, Let me fall all by myself, Will you learn to say No
These readings will help give you motivation and validation that YOU Matter First.
hope this helps, let us know what works for you!
Second, You dont have to say or do anything in a big way, right away.
NarAnon and Alanon are there for YOU to help YOU take care of yourself. Begin to detach from your boyfriend. You want to 'see' a clear path for yourself and when it is appropriate tell him that he can be with you or he can be with the drugs. Start thinking about how you want YOUR life to look. Us enablers have to get to OUR bottom too. we need to get to the point where we are saying, "These are my rules. Either live with me or without me". You need to feel like saving yourself is your priority. Give yourself some goals: In one month ---- , In two months ---- and so on. The best thing is to live apart and tell him you will see him when he is not high.
Read these postings on the Family Board: Ways Family Members can Help, What Not to do, Let me fall all by myself, Will you learn to say No
These readings will help give you motivation and validation that YOU Matter First.
hope this helps, let us know what works for you!
