Bryn,
Just wanted you to know that the wacky whacked out ex bf is getting more secretive paranoid....extemely volatile...and switches up in his mood constantly..either calls 3 or 4 times in a space of day...promises to come over at a certain time...shows up almost 3 hours later....stating he orginally cited that he 'might' come over. I called over to where he lives...as he has no phone i asked his old landlord where he might be...when i told the ex bf i did that because i was worried about him....he blew a gasket and left just as quickly as he came.....oh yeah and he never has any money.
well i called over to his place about 6 hours after he left my place and he still hadn't arrived. Last week i called him at work to ask him why he hadn't returned my call....well he blew another gasket....accusing me of 'stalking' him and kept hanging up on me....last thing he said was that he was going to get somebody to come over and 'kick my a**.
I should have called the cops but i didn't...i know he is on probation and i'd probably be tempted to tell them he is smoking pot and of course that would get back to his PO and i would be in more danger..
of course i haven't contacted him in any fashion since then....i don't remember him being this wacky in the old days when he lived with me and i knew he was doing heroin.....i know pot smoking ain't really responsible for this nutsy behavior of late....but i only see him once every 3 o 4 weeks (now probably never again) and i still don't know who the mystery people are he is hanging out with....how come he doesn't plead poverty with them all the time?
i had my chance to nail him...and i didn't
MARY the mouse
Hey Mary,
Been wondering how you are. I haven't been on alot. I'm always thinking of all you guys though.
O.K. first you didn't whimp out on anything. You are not a mouse. Man, I wouldn't dime anybody out. NO WAY! That was a very wise choice. Not whimp, but very intelligent choice.
About his behavior I just do not know. Very perplexing. What does he want? Like why does he keep popping up, and calling, and then don't show or is late? Well, that is actually simple. Addicts they can't tell time. No concept. Any kind of addict. We don't go by the rest of the worlds hours, and minutes. Ours is all around the time it is to get money, cop, and do our drug. THEN we might show up.
Paranoid. Maybe he's imbibing (is that a word) like partaking in the crystal or the crack. That'd make ya paranoid. As for you calling, and checking on him he sees it as stalking because it's only O.K. for him to contact you. See, you don't get that opportunity. Thus you're the stalker.
Oh he's going to get someone to beat you up? Really? Hmmmm, well that's good of him. He can't get anyone to beat you up in the first place cause he doesn't have drugs enough for someone else or the money to give them. Only way anyone would go for that. PLUS it'd put him in the light of the coppers. God forbid you got beat up you will immediately call the cops, and tell them it's him, and then what? He's back to square one with the cops, and PO, and all.
Next time he calls. Oh he will. I would act like he couldn't come over cause I had company. No coming by EVER. That's what I would say. It will shock the **it out of him.
As for crying poor mouth or beggar on horseback to anyone else but you he may be doing that exact thing OR nobody in their right mind is going to listen.
Is he asking you for money? Like when he cries poor mouth do you give him money or ciggies or anything? Maybe he just likes to whine, and complain. I know I used to. It became commonplace.
Nope. You didn't whimp out by not diming him out. I'd worry if he's doing speed, and dope. Then again I would NOT WORRY cause hopefully I would just ditch his arze by now. He'll be calling back. He always does sooner or later. Pull the old "Nah, can't come over. I'm very busy", and then chip cheery say:
"Toodles"
Been wondering how you are. I haven't been on alot. I'm always thinking of all you guys though.
O.K. first you didn't whimp out on anything. You are not a mouse. Man, I wouldn't dime anybody out. NO WAY! That was a very wise choice. Not whimp, but very intelligent choice.
About his behavior I just do not know. Very perplexing. What does he want? Like why does he keep popping up, and calling, and then don't show or is late? Well, that is actually simple. Addicts they can't tell time. No concept. Any kind of addict. We don't go by the rest of the worlds hours, and minutes. Ours is all around the time it is to get money, cop, and do our drug. THEN we might show up.
Paranoid. Maybe he's imbibing (is that a word) like partaking in the crystal or the crack. That'd make ya paranoid. As for you calling, and checking on him he sees it as stalking because it's only O.K. for him to contact you. See, you don't get that opportunity. Thus you're the stalker.
Oh he's going to get someone to beat you up? Really? Hmmmm, well that's good of him. He can't get anyone to beat you up in the first place cause he doesn't have drugs enough for someone else or the money to give them. Only way anyone would go for that. PLUS it'd put him in the light of the coppers. God forbid you got beat up you will immediately call the cops, and tell them it's him, and then what? He's back to square one with the cops, and PO, and all.
Next time he calls. Oh he will. I would act like he couldn't come over cause I had company. No coming by EVER. That's what I would say. It will shock the **it out of him.
As for crying poor mouth or beggar on horseback to anyone else but you he may be doing that exact thing OR nobody in their right mind is going to listen.
Is he asking you for money? Like when he cries poor mouth do you give him money or ciggies or anything? Maybe he just likes to whine, and complain. I know I used to. It became commonplace.
Nope. You didn't whimp out by not diming him out. I'd worry if he's doing speed, and dope. Then again I would NOT WORRY cause hopefully I would just ditch his arze by now. He'll be calling back. He always does sooner or later. Pull the old "Nah, can't come over. I'm very busy", and then chip cheery say:
"Toodles"
Bryn,
thanx for replying....i just got back Monday from spending the whole weekend with my sister who was visiting from my home digs...NYC...we stayed in a fancy shmancy hotel downtown...saw the sights..spent some dough.
my sister's presence once again confirming that i come from a nice normal family background...and that my distorted 'obssessive' image of my ex bf being the paragon of normalcy is about as sick as he is sick himself.
i don't think i will hear from him again...but i gotta
maintain no contact from my end...regardless
love ya 'B' MARY
thanx for replying....i just got back Monday from spending the whole weekend with my sister who was visiting from my home digs...NYC...we stayed in a fancy shmancy hotel downtown...saw the sights..spent some dough.
my sister's presence once again confirming that i come from a nice normal family background...and that my distorted 'obssessive' image of my ex bf being the paragon of normalcy is about as sick as he is sick himself.
i don't think i will hear from him again...but i gotta
maintain no contact from my end...regardless
love ya 'B' MARY
Mary
Am I reading this right-
You were in NYC?
or was your Sister was visiting from NY?
Glad your focusing a little on other things-
Hope all is well
love&respect
jack
Am I reading this right-
You were in NYC?
or was your Sister was visiting from NY?
Glad your focusing a little on other things-
Hope all is well
love&respect
jack
Mary,
I think you have come a long, long way. Your obsession greatly concerned me. You sound like you are starting to take care of you first and foremost. Keep working.
I think you have come a long, long way. Your obsession greatly concerned me. You sound like you are starting to take care of you first and foremost. Keep working.
Bryn,
I just wanted to let you know that you helped me get thru a lot of what I have been going thru with your raw and honest posts about addict behaviour. You gave it to me straight and to the point, and everything you say I so relate to. I know it isn't what I am "supposed" to be doing, but you gave me a way into my ex-boyfriend's mind while he was actively using. I read so much and posted so much. But, I didn't really 'get' what was goin' on in that crackfilled head / dope filled mind of his, and that helped me. You help a lot of people on here. Plus, you are funny as F*ck.
Just wanted to keep supporting you in your sobriety...
Love,
Shylah
I just wanted to let you know that you helped me get thru a lot of what I have been going thru with your raw and honest posts about addict behaviour. You gave it to me straight and to the point, and everything you say I so relate to. I know it isn't what I am "supposed" to be doing, but you gave me a way into my ex-boyfriend's mind while he was actively using. I read so much and posted so much. But, I didn't really 'get' what was goin' on in that crackfilled head / dope filled mind of his, and that helped me. You help a lot of people on here. Plus, you are funny as F*ck.
Just wanted to keep supporting you in your sobriety...
Love,
Shylah
your ex sounds like real bad news,on some kind of control/power trip.hes the stalker,liar&if he is such a d$$k he needs the beating.you have done well stay away,u know the story about the mouse and elephant? so u r the one on top not yer coward of an ex.take care ..davey
Thanx davey,
If it wasn't for Brynn Jenniferlee Tina Jackofhartz Cynical One,,yourself and countless others...i wouldn't have reached my 3 week and counting stretch today of not trying to contact him (although i am white knuckling it) today.
I usually try to write a letter or call and 'make nice' or apologize for something i wasn't too sure i did but his thug like response of threatening my life and employing someone else to do it no less (geez what a coward) has thrown a curve ball in my 'addiction' to him.
I actually attended a BBQ today that my next door neighbor who is a trucker...invited me to so that i could meet a friend of his there at the gathering...unfortunately the friend in question wasn't able to attend at the last minute as he was put on another 'run' by the truck company's boss.
I forced myself to go instead of sitting and waiting for the phone to ring....i know the ex bf who has been shooting heroin for over 30 years is engaged in some kind of drug using and illegal activities at present...ergo the secret paranoid threatening like behavior towards myself family and friends...his loyalty now is towards the 'mystery people' that he hangs out with but won't reveal who they are and what he does with them.
I 'whimped' out in a sense that he has been physically abusive towards me in the 6 years i have known him...and from certain things he has said it sounds like he has physically abused other women in the past....i never called the cops on him...although neighbors have but i was too scared to press charges....i should have called the cops when he threatened me on the phone in a sense in that i might be able to protect his next 'victim' by allowing him to be brought to justice for his abuse instead of continually getting away with it.
He is a very scary man with a prison record and felonies as long as the heroin/coke tracks etched into his arms...and i am sure he would have gotten someone to beat my a** be he in prison or not....and he is a father and grandfather and today is Father's Day too.
sorry i am rambling
love MARY...
If it wasn't for Brynn Jenniferlee Tina Jackofhartz Cynical One,,yourself and countless others...i wouldn't have reached my 3 week and counting stretch today of not trying to contact him (although i am white knuckling it) today.
I usually try to write a letter or call and 'make nice' or apologize for something i wasn't too sure i did but his thug like response of threatening my life and employing someone else to do it no less (geez what a coward) has thrown a curve ball in my 'addiction' to him.
I actually attended a BBQ today that my next door neighbor who is a trucker...invited me to so that i could meet a friend of his there at the gathering...unfortunately the friend in question wasn't able to attend at the last minute as he was put on another 'run' by the truck company's boss.
I forced myself to go instead of sitting and waiting for the phone to ring....i know the ex bf who has been shooting heroin for over 30 years is engaged in some kind of drug using and illegal activities at present...ergo the secret paranoid threatening like behavior towards myself family and friends...his loyalty now is towards the 'mystery people' that he hangs out with but won't reveal who they are and what he does with them.
I 'whimped' out in a sense that he has been physically abusive towards me in the 6 years i have known him...and from certain things he has said it sounds like he has physically abused other women in the past....i never called the cops on him...although neighbors have but i was too scared to press charges....i should have called the cops when he threatened me on the phone in a sense in that i might be able to protect his next 'victim' by allowing him to be brought to justice for his abuse instead of continually getting away with it.
He is a very scary man with a prison record and felonies as long as the heroin/coke tracks etched into his arms...and i am sure he would have gotten someone to beat my a** be he in prison or not....and he is a father and grandfather and today is Father's Day too.
sorry i am rambling
love MARY...
MARY/MARY: That's a Gospel duo ya know?
I wrote you like a long post...of course being me it was long.....this was last night........I was happy to see your post.........anyway my daughter came in with teen stuff, and the drama, and all and needed the computer....so my post has flown to the moon.
I think I said first: You had to have had such a great time with your sister...sounded like so much fun..........AND see isn't it freaking phenomenal in a ritzy hotel, and shopping, and even just laughing an chatting?
That boy is a puzzle I tell you.......I'm glad you didn't call the cops.....no way did you whimp out........the guy threatens to kick your azzz.....man, I would just keep doing what you are doing.........if them cops came and found chit on him...........OH BOY.........you know he'd really have it out for you.
Ahhhh......the heck with him, and I have to tell you, lady, girlfriend I am proud of you and you give me strength and hope.....you deserved that fun time living it up with your sister, and ain't it nice after sooooooo long knowing there's things to do, and see, and all.........you just get on wit yer bad self, Mary.
Nah, don't call the cops, but when he calls again or pops up I wouldn't let him in.
I'm not trusting him right now.....LOL....like i know him personally.
Shifty as s*i* he is.......comes from sneaky years of practice.......stay happy my dear friend mary..........go for it..............maybe make plans for another trip with your sister if you can...........I am so glad......so happy I can almost see your smile or feel it.......it brings me warmth.
I wrote you like a long post...of course being me it was long.....this was last night........I was happy to see your post.........anyway my daughter came in with teen stuff, and the drama, and all and needed the computer....so my post has flown to the moon.
I think I said first: You had to have had such a great time with your sister...sounded like so much fun..........AND see isn't it freaking phenomenal in a ritzy hotel, and shopping, and even just laughing an chatting?
That boy is a puzzle I tell you.......I'm glad you didn't call the cops.....no way did you whimp out........the guy threatens to kick your azzz.....man, I would just keep doing what you are doing.........if them cops came and found chit on him...........OH BOY.........you know he'd really have it out for you.
Ahhhh......the heck with him, and I have to tell you, lady, girlfriend I am proud of you and you give me strength and hope.....you deserved that fun time living it up with your sister, and ain't it nice after sooooooo long knowing there's things to do, and see, and all.........you just get on wit yer bad self, Mary.
Nah, don't call the cops, but when he calls again or pops up I wouldn't let him in.
I'm not trusting him right now.....LOL....like i know him personally.
Shifty as s*i* he is.......comes from sneaky years of practice.......stay happy my dear friend mary..........go for it..............maybe make plans for another trip with your sister if you can...........I am so glad......so happy I can almost see your smile or feel it.......it brings me warmth.
mary just read your post thanks for the mention.iv done alittle bit of jail time bout 15yrs ago,and the old cliche is true 4 most [u come out slyer&nastier than before u went in ,coz thats the enviroment u have had 2 live in 4 x amount of time.it took me mnths 2 be chilled¬ be paranoid about things.i have a bad feeling from wot iv read MARYplease stay away from your fella/ex think it wld be best 4 u.take care all the best ....davey
Davey,
Just to let you know the ex did about 14 years of prison time...kidnapping escape..holding people up at gunpoint to get money from their ATMS...presently on 5 years probation (having served about 2 and half years of it so far) for heroin trafficking reduced to possession as the general buzz is that he ratted out the dealer he was living with at the time because she was trying to pin it all on him..
The detectives were calling him the 'Big Baller' (street term for dealer that sells a little of everything)..even the SWAT cops were tailing him for 2 years back then...of course he is innocent and laughs at all of it.
Unless he is doing crack instead of slammin his 30 yr heroin habit i think his thug like behavior of late bespeaks that maybe he is engaged in criminal activity and is on some kind of power trip and best for me to stay clear of him
MARY
Just to let you know the ex did about 14 years of prison time...kidnapping escape..holding people up at gunpoint to get money from their ATMS...presently on 5 years probation (having served about 2 and half years of it so far) for heroin trafficking reduced to possession as the general buzz is that he ratted out the dealer he was living with at the time because she was trying to pin it all on him..
The detectives were calling him the 'Big Baller' (street term for dealer that sells a little of everything)..even the SWAT cops were tailing him for 2 years back then...of course he is innocent and laughs at all of it.
Unless he is doing crack instead of slammin his 30 yr heroin habit i think his thug like behavior of late bespeaks that maybe he is engaged in criminal activity and is on some kind of power trip and best for me to stay clear of him
MARY
